Can you fall in love with someone online?

[Tenenbaum]

Fluffy! I thought you were a hopeless romantic.

Don't we all fill in the blanks when we first develop romantic attachments? Absent the Vulcan Mind Meld, do we ever really know what lurks in the back corners of a lover's psyche?

Perhaps we're concluding here that it is impossible to be in love with someone until after we've lived together through the initial years of frantic sexual exploration and blind adoration?

In that case, it would be wise to get started with that so we can get to the important part sooner.

This part in bold is what I think as well. While it becomes more difficult when you start spending all your time with someone in person, it's still easy to hide certain things from a partner. So I'm not so sure that aspect of things precludes one from falling in love without ever meeting someone. Also, when do you know "enough" about someone to fall in love? I think that differs greatly for people.

So my answer is that I do believe it is possible. I don't think I could say that I'm committed to someone if I haven't met them though.. And I don't know if you can truly know if it's love until you meet that person, regardless of whether you feel like you are in love. Then again, isn't that leap of faith aspect part of love in itself?

 

[Beck31]

Yes. It is possible to fall in love online. What makes it difficult at times is if it is long distance.
Emails, letters, Skype, phone calls are well and good but online lacks physical touch which is needed.
If two people connect via the Internet and become close then yes there is the potential for romance.
Online can be good if one is shy or for short intense "affairs of the heart" but long term is a different animal.
I have been involved with someone for several years that I met online and it has bloomed.

 

[thatguy92]

Yes, you can. I wish I never had. But it's possible.

 

[Leigh81]

I am quite sure I love her, the facts that she is married, we have never met and never will does not change this. Eh

Virtual love
I say the same thing except the married part. Especially "the love part".

L

 

[Sweetandsensual]

I've had this debate with a few people recently, and I'm curious what others think. Is it possible to fall in love with someone you've never met? Someone you only know virtually?

Yes. Absolutely, fully and completely. I have, more than once. And had extended relationships that lasted years...of course, only when extended in person. Even moved to another country for the first one.

 

[PetNora]

Exactly Sam and PF. And isn't that really what on line relationships are for...all the fun and none of the RL aggravations? I love you guys when we agree....wink

I think you're contradicting yourself. If it's online, and not "real" then it's not "love". Love can only exist in the real world, not in the vacuum of fantasy and make believe.

It's so easy to confuse love with the chemicals released in your brain from lust. Love is something that develops over time in building a true relationship. It can't be built from cybering, picture sharing, or talking on the phone.

Seriously people, Google Love vs. Infatuation. Google the term limerence.

 

[followmenow6969]

I've had this debate with a few people recently, and I'm curious what others think. Is it possible to fall in love with someone you've never met? Someone you only know virtually?

Yes I Married him after a year on line n finally meeting him we're very happy

 

[FullyLoadedUK]

Yes it can and does happen.

My own story starts with me in a relationship that likely had no future, she was in university and I was somewhat older than that. She introduced me to IRC and a channel she like to hang out on. Any, I became a regular there too.

A few months later, one of our friends started to go through some family stuff, stuff I'd been trough not a year or so prior. I talked her through it, through the highs and lows. It went on for a month or so. Then she was through that but we still talked and talked.

My girlfriend moved and my online friend helped me through it.

It took another friend on the channel to show us we loved each other, it was she that pushed us to meet.

18 years married, 4 kids and still going strong.

There used to be a little guilt involved, she was married when we started talking and as I stated I had a girlfriend but it didn't start out to be anything more than a friend helping another friend.

For me it's not were or how you met but the connection you form.

 

[ChelleD1]

Absolutely! Love happens when and where you least expect it. Even the internet is not immune to the sting of Cupid's arrow. *sigh* Ain't love grand?

 

[Duckers22]

I reckon it is, meet like minded people at the right time on the right site and bingo.

I'm very much of the opinion that you have many more than one soul mates on the earth so bumping into them nowadays could be a lot more easier than days gone by.

 

[jacktar48]

I reckon it is, meet like minded people at the right time on the right site and bingo.

I'm very much of the opinion that you have many more than one soul mates on the earth so bumping into them nowadays could be a lot more easier than days gone by.

Interesting concept...and there are a hell of a lot more people around too, so if you want to do the math (and I know you do) I think you'll find that the odds of NOT encountering someone interesting and appealing are quite low.

 

[Deleted member 1306910]

I think it is a generational thing. For some people, they just didn't grow up talking to people online. To them it is very hard to see the people they interact with as 'REAL' people. They know intellectually that there is a real person on the other end of that line, but emotionally they just can't ever seem to connect.

But for younger people who grew up talking to people, even if it was only in our late teens, we connect emotionally more easily with the faceless people we meet online. So for us, falling in love with someone we've never met is not only possible, but a rather common experience.

 

[jacktar48]

I think it is a generational thing. For some people, they just didn't grow up talking to people online. To them it is very hard to see the people they interact with as 'REAL' people. They know intellectually that there is a real person on the other end of that line, but emotionally they just can't ever seem to connect.

But for younger people who grew up talking to people, even if it was only in our late teens, we connect emotionally more easily with the faceless people we meet online. So for us, falling in love with someone we've never met is not only possible, but a rather common experience.

Some of us grew up writing letters on paper with fountain pens...it worked then, too. It just took longer.

 

[sufisaint]

If your heart is open you can fall in love when you connect with someone intellectually and emotionally. .. regardless if you ever meet physically.

 

[Nebel815]

Yes you can , I think it's a deeper love too

 

[SweetSam42]

I think it is a generational thing. For some people, they just didn't grow up talking to people online. To them it is very hard to see the people they interact with as 'REAL' people. They know intellectually that there is a real person on the other end of that line, but emotionally they just can't ever seem to connect.

But for younger people who grew up talking to people, even if it was only in our late teens, we connect emotionally more easily with the faceless people we meet online. So for us, falling in love with someone we've never met is not only possible, but a rather common experience.

This is an interesting point I hadn't considered. Apparently I'm old.

 

[SweetSam42]

Yes I Married him after a year on line n finally meeting him we're very happy

I didn't know this! Love it!

 

[4yourpleasureiam]

I do believe it's possible, but I think only once both people let the other person see the "real" them. Sharing the icky stuff, the bad days, bad habits, every day mundane stuff - I have fallen in love and had my heart broken online. But only with someone who let me in to all that, and I with them - otherwise I think the lines between lust/and love do get confused. You have to move past how that person's words make you feel and how you actually connect as two people.

There are a lot of sweet talkers and bullshitters online. Once you weed through those I do honestly believe that two people can connect and develop real feelings. The problem is figuring out who is honest and who is not That being said, I think once two people actually meet whether or not there is actual chemistry would determine the future of the "relationship".

I agree with you totally. I let myself care and now my world has lost so much of the sparkle it had. My trouble is I want to believe what people say and I can not tell diff. from a truth statement and a either being kind statement of a game lead on.

My advice would be yes you can fall in love but be so careful and take your time. Tell only as much as the other person tells. Problem with that is trust goes out the window. So accept no advice from me is the best advice I can give.

 

[BritChap]

I think it is a generational thing. For some people, they just didn't grow up talking to people online. To them it is very hard to see the people they interact with as 'REAL' people. They know intellectually that there is a real person on the other end of that line, but emotionally they just can't ever seem to connect.

But for younger people who grew up talking to people, even if it was only in our late teens, we connect emotionally more easily with the faceless people we meet online. So for us, falling in love with someone we've never met is not only possible, but a rather common experience.

I'll agree with that. I fell in love with someone I met online years and years ago. We went through highs and lows, secrets and fall outs, lust and passion ... the usual range of emotions. We're still in touch today, though both of us have moved on. At least, I have. Once in a while I'm not so sure about her, even though she says she's in a committed relationship.

There is a lot of non verbal communication you just can't do through text, though.

 

[SweetSam42]

I'll agree with that. I fell in love with someone I met online years and years ago. We went through highs and lows, secrets and fall outs, lust and passion ... the usual range of emotions. We're still in touch today, though both of us have moved on. At least, I have. Once in a while I'm not so sure about her, even though she says she's in a committed relationship.

There is a lot of non verbal communication you just can't do through text, though.

What about through Skype cam? I say this with a little wink, but am being a bit serious too. Does cam allow for more intimate interaction? I suppose of course it does. The question is whether it allows for enough interaction for some naysayers here to move their emotions up a bit.

I still say no - not to the level of love.

 

[Massive Grooves]

Who fucking cares?

People do what they do.

 

[BritChap]

What about through Skype cam? I say this with a little wink, but am being a bit serious too. Does cam allow for more intimate interaction? I suppose of course it does. The question is whether it allows for enough interaction for some naysayers here to move their emotions up a bit.

I still say no - not to the level of love.

Well, I certainly love Skyping but I guess that's not quite the same form of love we're talking about here

Cam certainly allows for more intimate interaction but I found it's more about how you interact with each other regardless of the medium. Quality and not quantity... we were both pretty emotionally dependent on each other. Cam is great for a whole host of reasons, but I guess it doesn't give you the simple human warmth of a hug or a kiss.

I was quite a bit younger, and certainly less mature, in those days. Perhaps it was all just the heat and folly of teenagers.

 

[PetNora]

Honestly, I think anything other than in person, REAL relationship isn't love. Fake, online /cyber "love" is just chemicals in your brain taking you for a ride. Love is not a chemical reaction, that's lust and limerence.

 

[SweetSam42]

Well, I certainly love Skyping but I guess that's not quite the same form of love we're talking about here

Cam certainly allows for more intimate interaction but I found it's more about how you interact with each other regardless of the medium. Quality and not quantity... we were both pretty emotionally dependent on each other. Cam is great for a whole host of reasons, but I guess it doesn't give you the simple human warmth of a hug or a kiss.

I was quite a bit younger, and certainly less mature, in those days. Perhaps it was all just the heat and folly of teenagers.

I'm going to clarify my stance a bit. I don't think anyone here who says they're in love with someone they've only ever met virtually isn't telling the truth, and I certainly don't think there's anything fake or unreal about that love.

I would just find it difficult to do myself. I'm married and certainly not going to fall in love with anyone I meet online anyway, but the scenario has always intrigued me, especially when people fall in love here within a short amount of time.

 

[jacktar48]

Honestly, I think anything other than in person, REAL relationship isn't love. Fake, online /cyber "love" is just chemicals in your brain taking you for a ride. Love is not a chemical reaction, that's lust and limerence.

Uh, sorry...but everything that happens in our bodies and minds is a result of chemical reactions. When that stops, you're dead.