Can't cum for ages!

[muppiethesecond]

-----

 

[_Rapier_]

Could that last sentence possibly be part of your problem?

 

[BrazenFellow]

Point 1: Regular girlfriends are often better than flings. In my experience anyways, and for a variety of reasons.

Point 2: You may have what I've heard referred to as "death grip syndrome". I had a pretty good case of this coming out of adolescence, to the point that when I lost my virginity we were going for three quarters of an hour before I came - so, yeah, pretty good case of "DGS" there. She wasn't exactly amused and it took a couple days to convince her that she wasn't the "problem."

The problem is that the hand tightly wrapped around your member provides constant stimulation quite unlike anything a woman can provide without giving you the same kind of forceful handjob, and most women aren't going to squeeze you that hard for fear of hurting you. Over time this overly hard grip desensitizes the penis. You'd think lasting for hours is a good thing (important caveat: if you know what you're doing and she's enjoying herself) but the downside is you're not enjoying the experience as much as you could be.

Good news is that you can work yourself out of DGS and it doesn't take any sort of specialist equipment, lotions, creams, surgery, etc. Just be more gentle. It'll take some time to adjust yourself. Took me just under two months if I remember correctly.

 

[muppiethesecond]

-----

 

[muppiethesecond]

-----

 

[BrazenFellow]

Welcome. And yeah, after she's gotten off (I am so glad my first knew how to get herself off during intercourse) she sorta looks up at you and you think: "Hmm. That looks like the 'hurry up' look."

I wonder if it's connected to masturbation, I mean, I generally extenuate on for at the least half an hour to an hour so it lasts as long as it can for my benefit, maybe I've just got into the habit of doing this over time? Commitment issues of a altogether different kind! (and like many people say, it's generally more difficult to cum with a partner anyway than when you're touching yourself)

It is. Most guys have a problem where they don't have enough time to get off so they try to come quickly every time they masturbate. That habit leads to finishing quickly with their partner, and threads like Firebreeze's. I mentioned DGS above though and I'm thinking that may be your problem: I masturbate for an hour or more and enjoy it thoroughly, but don't have an issue with my partner because I'm careful not to desensitize myself. Analogous to varying motions and pressures on the clitoris so the sensation isn't lessened for her, when performing cunnilingus.

 

[kaycee217]

Anxiety can play a part...at least for me. When I'm with someone brand new (and therefore I know little about them), it takes me a while to come. Of course, after I get comfortable with my partner, then it becomes much easier to climax.

 

[gregor2001us]

Are you circumcised?

 

[Ruku5]

Anxiety can play a part...at least for me. When I'm with someone brand new (and therefore I know little about them), it takes me a while to come. Of course, after I get comfortable with my partner, then it becomes much easier to climax.

i have that same problem. if its a new person who i do not know well at all. i last for hours, and hours, and hours, and hours, and you get the point. but if its someone who i have had a few encounters with and am really comfortable, the time it takes me to get off is dramatically decreased. with my SO it doesnt take me long at all so i have to concentrate on other things, like using my hands, toys or oral.
im thinking how comfortable you are with the person might play a big factor in this one.

 

[littlebabyclit]

Muppie, have you thought about a career in porn? Seriously ! They love guys like you there.

Come to think of it, I WISH my husband had your "problem." Yum.

Hope you don't mind the humor...

 

[KarennaC]

When my fiance and I first started having sex, it took him a long time to come, and sometimes he gave up after he'd gotten me off a couple times rather than prolonging things too long. In part, he had the problem because he'd taught himself to put off orgasming until his partner had orgasmed, with the result that sometimes he put it off too long and just plain couldn't get there. In part, it was, as he puts it, because he was out of practice; before he met me, he'd gone through a three-year dry spell where he hadn't dated anyone for various reasons, and hadn't had sex with anyone because he wasn't dating and wasn't really into the idea of casual sex.

After the first month or so, he learned to get me off at least once before we moved on to intercourse, so he wouldn't have that hanging over him (and yeah, I know most women don't come from penetration anyway; he either didn't know that or his previous partners, like me, actually did come from penetration), and he became more comfortable with me. Now he doesn't have a problem getting off in a "reasonable" time during sex, and sometimes, if it's been a while, he comes sooner than he wanted to.

So as mentioned, having a regular partner might help. Letting go of any strong belief that you have to get your partner off before yourself during intercourse (if one exists) might also help.

 

[muppiethesecond]

-----

 

[kaycee217]

Muppie, have you thought about a career in porn? Seriously ! They love guys like you there.

Come to think of it, I WISH my husband had your "problem." Yum.

Hope you don't mind the humor...

I think that the men who do porn not only have to be able to hold off for a long time, but they must also be able to come on command, basically.

 

[Elocin925]

I wish I had your problem brother.....

 

[doncarlos]

One way to vastly accelerate a man's orgasm is the use of an adjustable cock ring, which basicaly is a loop of surgical rubber that can be tightened hard with a sliding nut.

At times when I am getting tired from 1 - 2 hours of activity it is hard to ejaculate. But after putting on the cock ring a huge explosion arrives like clock work in 30 - 60 seconds because of the hightened stimulation of the swollen cock.