How to tell my BF i cheated?

[Michael_Keaton]

Don't tell him. You just want to relieve your own guilt and it will definitely hurt him. If you want to fuck multiple men, then be honest about it, and find a partner who approves.

This is the best advice I've seen here on this topic.

True story:

Some years ago I had a much younger co-worker who was distraught on a Monday morning. When I mentioned it to him he said it's because he'd cheated on his girlfriend over the weekend and didn't know how (or if) to tell her. Here's what I told him...

"This isn't a decision I can make for you, it's something you have to do for yourself. There are many things you have to consider. Do you want to be with her long-term? If you do want to be with her can you live with your conscience if you don't tell her? Or do you think it'll end your relationship if you do tell her? You need to sit down and have a heart-to heart talk with yourself about this, and if you decide you need to tell her you should take a good sharp knife and cut your own tongue out. Trust me, nothing good will come of your telling her."

This was 25 years ago. He didn't tell her at the time and I have no way of knowing if he ever told her, but I do know that they married and the last time I saw them they were still together.

 

[flameinsidesoul]

Me and my boyfriend have been together for about 2 and 1/2 years, and we went to school together, I recently cheated on him with a friend of his and I don't know if I should just keep it a secret or break up with my boyfriend because I can't hold the secret anymore or if I should tell him...i am scared he will go crazy

Thank you for having the courage to write this. It takes strength to even type these words, let alone sit with the feelings behind them. I hear you…truly.

What you're describing isn't just a mistake. It's a moment, one that now lives in the space between who you were and who you're becoming. the weight of it is real, because you feel it. That feeling? It's not your enemy. It's your compass pointing toward something you value, even if it's hard to look at right now.

Let me offer a gentle question, not to judge, but to guide:

If you imagine yourself five years from now, looking back at this moment, what kind of woman do you want to have been?

One who hid to avoid pain? One who ran to escape the weight? Or one who faced the hardest truth with courage, even when it cost her something?

You're scared he'll go crazy. That's a real fear. But here's what I know: secrets don't heal in the dark. They only grow roots. The question isn't whether he'll react, it's whether you can live with yourself if you never give him the choice to know the truth.

Whatever you decide, be gentle with yourself. You're human. You made a choice in a moment. That doesn't define you, but how you move forward will.

Wishing you clarity and peace.

— Flame