Carolina Directory

[Georgia Girl]

Ahhhh....I knew we had more in common, Georgia Girl, than merely a shared passion for the erotic! We must compare notes (up close and personal..) sometime!

Now that sounds positively delicious and quite educational as well. Continuing education is mandatory you know.

Dawn

 

[Midnighter]

More dancing and stuff

*gives SCblondetiger a peck on the cheek and hops over to Desdemona's table*

Okay.. here's the ground rules.. you can look, you can make cat-calls, and you can touch, but if you bend it, break it, or make it hard, then you bough it

*grins and winks and shakes it for Desdemona*

Okay.. I heard a funny story the other morning on the John Boy and Billy Show, and if you don't know what that is, then you're missing the pride of the Carolinas *heh*

The Challenge of the Fruit

John Boy, Billy, Jeff, and Hoyt were stranded on a raft in the ocean when they came across an exotic tropical paradise. Right after landing they were surrounded by hostile Islanders who led them at spearpoint to the Village Chief.

The Chief spoke, "You are strangers to this island. If you wish to stay, you must take the Challenge of the Fruit, or be cast off into the ocean to wander and die. If you choose to take the Challenge, the reward for passing will be your life, if you fail, your head will be chopped off."

After discussing the matter, the group decided it would be better to try the Challenge, as they had better odds of living.

John Boy asks, "Okay Chief, so what's this Challenge?"

The Chief replies, "First, you must each seperate, go into the jungle, and return with a piece of fruit."

The group of marooned friends split up, each entering the jungle in search of fruit. Billy was the first to return, with a bright yellow banana. He was brough to the Chief, and showed him the banana.

The Chief spoke, "And so the Challenge begins! You must take that fruit, and shove it where the sun don't shine. But if you even make one sound while doing so, you lose, and your head will be cut off."

Billy took one long look at the banana and said, "Umm... you better just chop my head off."

CHOP--- off went Billy's head.

Next came Jeff, carrying a pomegranate. He approached the village, and was guided to the Chief, stepping past Billy's headless corpse.

Jeff swallowed nervously as the Chief spoke, "And so the Challenge begins! You must take that fruit, and shove it where the sun don't shine. But if you make even one sound while doing so, you lose, and your head will be cut off."

Jeff sighed, bent over, and got to work. He fought hard to swallow his grunts and gasps of pain, but as he got halfway, he couldn't take it anymore and let out a loud yell.

The Chief spoke, "You may have passed the Challenge of the Prostrate, but you have failed the Challenge of the Fruit!"

CHOP--- off went Jeff's head.

Now cam John Boy, carrying a palmful of very tiny red berries. The villagers led him to the Chief, past the corpses of Jeff and Billy.

The Chief spoke, "And so the Challenge begins! You must take that fruit, and shove it where the sun don't shine. But if you make even one sound while doing so, you lose, and your head will be cut off."

John Boy swallowed nervously and said, "O-okay." One by one, the tiny berries disappeard into John Boy's.. well.. you know.

"Wow," John Boy thought to himself, "This sure feels weird.. won't be much longer though.. almost done."

Then, John Boy began laughing hysterically. The Villagers pushed him down and..

CHOP--- off came John Boy's head.

Meanwhile... at the Pearly Gates of Heaven:

Jeff and Billy are standing, awaiting entry into heaven.

Jeff says, "Y'know Billy, I think you had the right idea there, copping out." Jeff rubs his butt sorely.

Billy spies John Boy, and motions him over.

Jeff says, "Way to go idiot. How in the world did you fail? All you had was a handful of teeny tiny berries?!"

John Boy shrugs and smiles sheepishly before saying, "Well.. I was going along pretty good.. got into my rhythm and all.. and then.. it happened."

Billy and Jeff asked together, "What happened?"

John Boy looks embarassed and explains, "Well.. I looked up and saw Hoyt coming out of the jungle with a pineapple."

The End

*heh* Kinda long, but hope it puts a smile on someone's face.

 

[PaganZepher]

Good evening to all!!!!

Think about this visual.......... Des, nude except for her hip boots! Hmmm? Sounds good to me Des! All those special "areas of interest" are still fully exposed. So if you have this fetish about wearing waders, it is OK with me!



Are you having flashbacks to your poop pool summer school???

OK! Where is my lap (oops).....I mean table dancer? No I don't mean you midnighter! And be careful where you point that thing. It might go off!

A great evening to all and rejoice..............Friday is only a few hours away!

 

[Desdemona]

C'mon over here PZ. I'll give you a lap dance after I watch Midnighter dance on the table.

Naked except for hip waders?? Well, PZ, its only kinky the FIRST time you try it!

Woohoo, Midnighter! Shake it honey!!

Everybody have a great night!

 

[PaganZepher]

Good night to all! And a special hug and good night for "playground"!

 

[Desdemona]

PZ.... could there be someone new that we don't know about??? Or are you sending out some sort of top secret coded messages? I think somebody is up to something......

 

[lovetoread]

Damn damn damn....

Geez ya get sick and miss the table dances.

Des dont forget to shake it over here,and PZ...you can come over and dance on my table. I would jump over onto yours but the Tiger would come with me and I dont think it would be the same.

Take care and Be well all!

 

[Georgia Girl]

Good Morning everyone....

hope ya'll have a good day. Thank goodness its finally friday.

Just a note: Capt. Morgan's Rum and Sprite taste just like cream soda.

Dawn

 

[Desdemona]

Good Morning!

I'd say TGIF, but I will be working some this weekend so, its no big deal for me.

LTR... honey... do you need a nurse? Are you feeling better?

GG... how are you this morning? Any after effects of the "cream soda" ?

Everybody, have a wonderful day. Wish me luck! I anticipate today will be a tough one for me.

 

[Roughneck]

The Train Conductor
A couple days after Christmas, Little Timmy's mom was working in the kitchen while her son was playing with his new train set in the living room. When the train stopped she heard Timmy say. "All of you sons of bitches who want to get off, get the hell off now. All you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses on the train now, because we're leaving."

Mom stormed into the living room. "How many times have I told you not to use that sort of language? Now march upstairs to your room and stay there for 2 hours. When you come down, you may play with your trains again - as long as you use proper language."

Mom was still working in the kitchen when Timmy came down from his room 2 hours later. This time when the train stopped, Mom heard: "All passengers who are disembarking, please remember to take all your belongings. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was pleasant. For those just boarding, we ask you to store your carry-ons under the seat, and we hope you enjoy your trip. For those of you who are pissed off about the 2 hour delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen

 

[Roughneck]

================Political Correctness=======================

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will be no longer tolerated. We do however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers, therefore, a list of "TRY SAYING" new phrases has been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner without risk of offending our more sensitive employees.

SO:
TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: When the fuck do you expect me to do this?

TRY SAYING: I'm certain that is not feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No fucking way!!

TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be shitting me.

TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a shit.

TRY SAYING: Of course I'm concerned.
INSTEAD OF: Ask me if I give a shit.

TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It's not my fucking problem.

TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the fuck?!?!

TRY SAYING: I'm not sure I can implement this.
INSTEAD OF: Fuck it, it won't work.

TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner?

TRY SAYING: Are you sure this is a problem?
INSTEAD OF: Who the fuck cares?

TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the problem.
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his ass.

TRY SAYING: Excuse me sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat shit and die motherfucker.

TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my ass.

TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at this moment.
INSTEAD OF: Fuck it, I'm on salary.

TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your ass.

TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This job sucks.

TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the hell died and made you boss?

TRY SAYING: I see.
INSTEAD OF: Blow me.

TRY SAYING: Yes, we really should discuss it.
INSTEAD OF: Another fucking meeting!!!

TRY SAYING: I don't think this will be a problem.
INSTEAD OF: I really don't give a shit.

TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a fucking prick.

TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a ball busting bitch.

TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the fuck you're doing.

 

[Roughneck]

Dawn, I was wondering. . . . . .seeing how I'm able to put a smile on your face, is there anything else that I may do???? Was wondering what other tasks I may preform that might make you smile. Might I suggest I full body rub down with scented oils and soft music??

 

[twotone]

looking for help for wife in lowcountry

looking for male in lowcountry to help satisfy wife, unable to, due to illness. clean, diease free,good people, easy going male

 

[Georgia Girl]

Dawn, I was wondering. . . . . .seeing how I'm able to put a smile on your face, is there anything else that I may do???? Was wondering what other tasks I may preform that might make you smile. Might I suggest I full body rub down with scented oils and soft music??

Now that sounds absolutely delicious. Sandalwood scented oil and peaceful music with the sound of the surf in the background. Uuummm, I need that right now.

Would you like a map or written directions?

Dawn

PS: Can somebody help me with the directions, I can get lost in a revolving door?

 

[lovetoread]

Des my dear,I do need a nurse. There is this virus thing going around the kid's school and I caught it. Lucky me huh?

GG,I can give you the highway/interstate numbers,but I have a bit of a problem with the directions. I get lost alot that way and have to turn around.

twotone,I wish you luck in your search and many warm thoughts and wishes.

 

[Georgia Girl]

GG,I can give you the highway/interstate numbers,but I have a bit of a problem with the directions. I get lost alot that way and have to turn around.

Consider that my idea of reading a map is "Take the blue road down" and you have an understanding of the degree of navigational impairment. I guess that makes it easy to understand why normally I drive since if I was the one reading the map we would stay lost.

Dawn

 

[Roughneck]

Dawn your in luck, Im one of those people who loves to drive. You know the kind of person who times theire drives, will say " Ok, we got there in 7 hours, if we take a few short cuts and cut out bathroom stops we can get there in 6." LOL. Im not that bad, but I rank up there. Just give me the Towns name, A map and cell phone is all I need to guide me there. Besides, do you think a man is going to get lost, knowing he has a women waiting on him to rub oils all over her naked body, I think not. Its thoughts like those that a man uses both heads at the same time, LOL.

 

[PaganZepher]

GOOD MORNING ALL!!!

It is a great Friday in the Carolinas! A very happy weekend to all.

GG (Dawn) I have thought about this long and hard! I am confused! I checked my lexicon, dictionary, thesaurus, and re-read *all* of your previous post. What I want to know is and what is confusing me is.................. How could you fix your mouth to tell that lie??

The one I am referring to is the "pure" you photo. What do you mean by pure? Admittedly there are several definitions of "pure".
Let us review some of them. Virgin or chaste......... I don't think so! Undefiled..........Nope not that either. Sheer........ No way. Unmixed.... not even close.

For a photo to be "pure you", it would have to be one of two possible scenarios. The first would be you stretched across a bed, totally nude, nipples at attention, with the glistening of your sweet nectar just starting to emerge and reflect light. Now that would be the "PURE" you and nothing but! Although there may be just as much "pure you in the other possibility. As in the other scene you would be completely nude. The difference in this one would be that even though everything mentioned before would again be true, there would be some additions! Those additions would be that two ladies (Hatari and Des for example) would be each suckling one of your breasts, a man (such as roughneck) would be balls deep in your honey pot, I would be kneeling next to your head with those beautifl lips of yours eagerly sucking my cock, while last (but not least) one more person (sex immaterial) would be sliding their tongue back and forth across your puckered brown asshole! Now that would be "PURE" GG!



So how to you have the nerve to send this very prim and proper, fully clothed, and very conservative photo and call it the "pure" you??

Dawn you are a *sweetie*, and I loved the photo. I just have fun looking at the photo and reconciling it with the picture I have of you in my mind. Plus...... I just wanted to jerk the leash just a little, to let you know I care.

Ltr my dear, I am so sorry to hear of your illness! The flu is working its way through my office too. But I just wanted to extend the invitation to jump over to my table any time you want my dear! If Tiger wants to come too, so be it! After all this is a new millennium. Two is company....Three is a ball!

Des no secret code.......... Just I may be exploring a "playground" that will be all mine to use and explore. I get to use *all* the playthings for as long as I want! Why Des dear, you're not jealous are you? Or do you just want to join in the fun?




Everyone have a great weekend!!!!

 

[Georgia Girl]

Temptation.........

you know my name. Hhhmm, should I appear the wanton slut and divulge all in pursuit of sumptious pleasures or should I be the southern belle who takes her time and gets to know her man before caving in to the desires of the body? Oh decisions, decisions.

Ok, I'll give you a hint.......south GA and it starts with a S.

Dawn

 

[flashyfish]

Sound so good...

"Now that sounds absolutely delicious. Sandalwood scented oil and peaceful music with the sound of the surf in the background. Uuummm, I need that right now. "

After reaing that, I had to write....It sounded so great...The only addtion is the rud down I would give you to totally realx every inch of you body...

Don't stress out, wish I was close enough to help...

Fish

 

[snoozebutton]

I must say the mental image of GG bound sends my mind racing. And the thought of poor Des having to turn around before she got there had my spirits down. That would be the pic i want to see you ladies together at last hehehe lol. LTR i'm surprised you havn't given us any tips for us novices on some of the sensous pleasures of bondage. And GG i look forward to a report on the gala your having later this month i'm so green with envy though i still say us palmetto men might make you move lol. And what ever happened to our screamer in the chair hmmmmmmmmm.

 

[Roughneck]

Directions

Dawn, Dawn, Dawn, You make this challenge to easy. A town in south Gerogia that begins with an S. Well I travel through Georgia alot, so this ought to be easy. Lets begin shall we?? Sardis, Sylvania, Springfield, Swainsboro, Surreency, Saint George, Statenville, Stockton, and Savannah. Those are my guesses of towns in south Georgia, now witch one could it be??? MMMMMM, I am going to take a Southern Mans guess and say it's Stockton or Statenville, now im probaly wrong, but I know Im or the right track. Dawn you are the Fox and I am the hunter, and the chase has begun.

 

[Roughneck]

DIARY OF A SNOW SHOVELER
December 8: 6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!

December 9: We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the Whole World? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had. Shovelled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life.

December 12: The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment. My neighbour tells me not to worry, we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man. I'm glad he's our neighbour.

December 14: Snow, lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shovelling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shovelling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.

December 15: 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.

December 16: Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.

December 17: Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.

December 20: Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of the damn stuff last night. More shovelling. Took all day. Goddamn snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbour kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.

December 22: Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white shit fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to piss. By the time I got undressed, pissed and dressed again. I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter; but he says he's too busy. I think the asshole is lying.

December 23: Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she...nuts??? Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she's damn well lying.

December 24: 6". Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a bitch who drives that snowplow, I'll drag him through the snow by his balls. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shovelling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was busy watching for the goddamn snowplow.

December 25: Merry Christmas. 20 more inches of the !=3D@x@!x!x1 slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shovelling makes my blood boil. God I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's an idiot. If I have to watch "It's a Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to kill her.

December 26: Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.

December 27: Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze.

December 28: Warmed up to above -50. Still snowed in. THE BITCH is driving me crazy!!!

December 29: 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave-in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?

December 30: Roof caved in. The snowplow driver is suing me for a million dollars for the bump on his head. The wife went home to her mother. 9" predicted.

December 31: Set fire to what's left of the house. No more shovelling.

January 8: I feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?

 

[Georgia Girl]

Re: Directions

A town in south Gerogia that begins with an S. Sardis, Sylvania, Springfield, Swainsboro, Surreency, Saint George, Statenville, Stockton, and Savannah.

Alas dear hunter you have yet to locate the right town and you are also in the wrong part of the state. You are over in southeast GA, I am not but the last letter of the name of the town in N. I hope that helps.

I picked up some sandalwood oil today and candles as well. Just wanted to make sure things were all prepared. What time will you be arriving?

Dawn

 

[Georgia Girl]

Snooze.....the image of me bound sends my mind racing too, yum. What gala are you speaking of? Did I forget an engagement? Aren't two planners enough?

Now for PZ.......mischevious thing that you are. Of course that is pure ME, I see no reason to send a picture reflecting what I look like after someone else does my makeup and someone else does my hair, makes more sense to me to show you what you would see if you looked through the monitor. Well, don't peek now....ssshhhh......I'm naked.

Ya'll have a good evening, I am taking this little angel of my heart to the rodeo. On the way I have to work on convincing him that he can't ride the bulls. He thinks he can.

Dawn