Carolina Directory

[double16in]

Mornin' all

Good morning to all on this thread! I hope everyone has a great day of delicious erotic mental images pushing away the jagged realities of the work world!

 

[Georgia Girl]

Good Morning

and a good day to one and all. Somewhere along the line today here's hoping you see/hear something that makes you laugh right out loud and the feeling of that laughter stays with you.

Dawn

 

[Desdemona]

Good Morning everybody!

Oh Geri... yes dear, you are qualify as a fellow poop expert. I do think you deserve a new flogger with your name on it. We'll have to talk to Magister about that.

Stunner, I'm looking forward to your next literary offering. I know the single/unattached women are going to be happy to know your feelings about age.

Double16in... good to see you again!

Dawn...hiya babe!

PZ.... where are you lurking my friend? It worries me when I can't see you. I fear you may be up to no good.... plotting some sort of wicked scheme with Magister or SB or PL.

Roughneck... hope you had a good night at work!

LTR...talk to you later, babe.

SB.... don't lurk buddy.... hang out with us.

Everybody have a great day!

 

[lovetoread]

Morning all.

Everyone seems to be in a good mood today.

Be well and take care.

 

[NCguy]

morning

Good morning all.

 

[RavenStorm]

Good Morning Everyone. I hope everyone has a great day.

 

[Roughneck]

Good Morning

A guy is suffering from severe headaches for years with no relief. After trying all the usual cures he's referred to a headache specialist by his family doctor. The doctor asks him what his symptoms are and he replies, "I get these blinding headaches; kind of like a knife across my scalp and..".

He is interrupted by the doctor, "And a heavy throbbing right behind the left ear."

"Yes! Exactly! How did you know?"

"Well I am the world's greatest headache specialist, you know. But I myself suffered from that same type of headache for many years. It is caused by a tension in the scalp muscles. This is how I cured it: Every day I would give my wife oral sex. When she came she would squeeze her legs together with all her strength and the pressure would relieve the tension in my head. Try that every day for two weeks and come back and let me know how it goes".

Two weeks go by and the man is back, "Well, how do you feel?"

"Doc, I'm a new man! I feel great! I haven't had a headache since I started this treatment! I can't thank you enough. And, by the way you have a lovely home."

 

[Roughneck]

A man was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail when an exceptionally gorgeous and sexy young woman entered. She was so striking that the man could not take his eyes away from her. The young woman noticed his overly attentive stare and walked directly toward him.

Before he could offer his apologies for being so rude, the young woman said to him, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $100 on one condition."

Flabbergasted, the man asked what the condition was. The young woman replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."

The man considered her proposition for a moment, withdrew his wallet from his pocket and slowly counted out five $20 bills, which he pressed into the young woman's hand. He looked deeply into her eyes and slowly, meaningfully said,

"Paint my house."

 

[Midnighter]

Table Dancing duet

*spies SCblondetiger shakin' her thang next to me, while I table dance*

*wonders absently if tabledancing duets are legal in SC*

*shrugs and dances anyways* *heh*

Glad to see someone else in here living dangerously

 

[PaganZepher]

Happy Thursday (almost weekend time!)

Good morning to all!

I hope everyone is able to enjoy this beautiful day here in the south. The weather is great. My spring flowers are coming up nicely and I'll soon be able to judge the success of my fall bulb plantings.

This thread certainly seems revitalized! Ltr and SB it is *good* to have you posting again.

Stunner you remind me of the old saying; "There is a new rooster in the hen house." I do believe I see a gleam in the eyes of some of our lady posters.

Roughneck I have enjoyed your humor and share it with those I work with. Of course I take credit for all the jokes when I tell them.

GG thanks! It is so much nicer to put a face with the words!

Blondetiger is my table next? My lady and I both would enjoy the view!

Des my dear, me lurking?? No my lady, I am just planning a campaign against an "untouchable" objective! You do know that even a mighty mountain can be worn down flat with just one drop of water at a time. (Are your feet wet yet?) Plus, I need to limber up and treat some leather that may be needed in the future!

A wonderful day to all........

Oh, just an idea for Magister and geri.... videos to share would make nice St. Patrick's day gifts!

 

[RavenStorm]

RoughNeck you post some of the funniest jokes.

 

[geri]

Good Morning All

i have to admit to sleeping in. i was up kind of late writing something for Magister.

PZ...videos for St Pat's? what a wonderful idea! i wonder if He would like The Little Mermaid or Tarzan best?

 

[Magister]

Hmmm... Me Tarzan, you slave?

Works for me!

Yep, I checked my email this morning, and found a very nice continuation of O/our time together... Been walking around with a funny stride all morning!

I think that geri has definitely earned herself a new flogger. Think I'll send her to get it engraved, too... "For Magister's beloved slave, geri"

you've been a very good girl, kitten. *kisses you lovingly*

And to all our other friends in the area, LOVING this day! Holy shit, it is sodding GORGEOUS out there!

 

[Guest]

Not Sure Edgar Rice Burroughs Would Approve of that Idea

then again he just might have. Has anyone read some of the graphics in his books?

Should i get it engraved at the same place You want me to get the dog collar engraved at too?

*smiles happily at kisses and praise from Magister* well, no matter what it looks like outside that made my day wonderful!

 

[geri]

sorry Lit is doing funky things. that was me^

 

[Roughneck]

Ok, it's been slow here all day. Now I realize some of you people work, but it's almost beer thirty. So I thjink some people need to get naked and crazy, crack open some beer and get wild.

 

[Roughneck]

Male Birth Control

Enjoy

 

[Roughneck]

Ok, where the Hell is everybody??? Did someone die, did Strom die?? Maube thats it, Strom died and everybodys in shock, LOL. Damn, well I guess I'll drink a few more beers before I have to go into work tonight. Maybe the women aren't posting tonight because they have dates??? MMMMM, I've got the Oliver Stone thoughts running through my head now.

 

[Roughneck]

For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day when you just need to take it out on someone!!! Don't take that bad day out on someone you know, take it out on someone you DON'T know!!!

Now get this. I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered nicely saying, "Hello?" I politely said, "This is Patrick Hanifin and could I please speak to Robin Carter?"

Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn't believe that anyone could be that rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. She had transposed the last two digits incorrectly. After I hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still lying there on my desk. I decided to call it again.

When the same person once more answered, I yelled "You're a jackass!" and hung up. Next to his phone number I wrote the word "jackass," and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills, or had a really bad day, I'd call him up. He'd answer, and I'd yell, "You're a jackass!" It would always cheer me up.

Later in the year the phone company introduced caller ID. This was a real disappointment for me, I would have to stop calling the jackass.

Then one day I had an idea. I dialed his number, then heard his voice, "Hello." I made up a name. "Hi. This is the sales office of the telephone company and I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with our caller ID program?" He went, "No!" and slammed the phone down. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're a jackass!"

The reason I took the time to tell you this story, is to show you how if there's ever anything really bothering you, you can do something about it. Just dial 823-4863.

[Keep reading, it gets better.!

The old lady at the mall really took her time pulling out of the parking space. I didn't think she was ever going to leave. Finally, her car began to move and she started to very slowly back out of the slot.

I backed up a little more to give her plenty of room to pull out. Great, I thought, she's finally leaving. All of a sudden this black Camaro come flying up the parking aisle in the wrong direction and pulls into her space.

I started honking my horn and yelling, "You can't just do that, Buddy. I was here first!"

The guy climbed out of his Camaro completely ignoring me. He walked toward the mall as if he didn't even hear me. I thought to myself, this guy's a jackass, there sure a lot of jackasses in this world. I noticed he had a "For Sale" sign in the back window of his car. I wrote down the number. Then I hunted for another place to park.

A couple of days later, I'm at home sitting at my desk. I had just gotten off the phone after calling 823-4863 and yelling, "You're jackass!" (It's really easy to call him now since I have his number on speed dial.)

I noticed the phone number of the guy with the black Camaro lying on my desk and thought I'd better call this guy, too.

After a couple rings someone answered the phone and said, "Hello." I said, "Is this the man with the black Camaro for sale?"

"Yes, it is."

"Can you tell me where I can see it?"

"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th street. It's a yellow house and the car's parked right out front."

I said, "What's your name?"

"My name is Don Hansen."

"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"

"I'm home in the evenings."

"Listen Don, can I tell you something?"

"Yes,"

"Don, you're a jackass!" And I slammed the phone down.

After I hung up I added Don Hansen's number to my speed dialer. For a while things seemed to be going better for me. Now when I had a problem I had two jackasses to call. Then, after several months of calling the jackasses and hanging up on them, it just wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be.

I gave the problem some serious thought and came up with a solution:

First, I had my phone dial Jackass #1. A man answered nicely saying,"Hello."

I yelled "You're a jackass!", but I didn't hang up.

The jackass said, "Are you still there?"

I said, "Yeah."

He said, "Stop calling me."

I said, "No."

He said, "What's your name, Pal?"

I said, "Don Hansen."

He said "Where do you live?"

"1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house and my black Camaro's parked out front."

"I'm coming over right now, Don. You'd better start saying your prayers."

"Yeah, like I'm really scared, Jackass!" and I hung up.

Then I called Jackass #2.

He answered, "Hello."

I said, "Hello, Jackass!"

He said, "If I ever find out who you are..."

"You'll what?"

"I'll kick your butt."

"Well, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now Jackass!" And I hung up.

Then I picked up the phone and called the police. I told them I was at 1802 West 34th Street and that I was going to kill my gay lover as soon as he got home.

Another quick call to Channel 13 about the gang war going on down W. 34th Street.

After that I climbed into my car and headed over to 34th Street to watch the whole thing.

Glorious!

Watching two Jackasses kicking the crap out of each other in front of 6 squad cars and a police helicopter was one of the greatest experiences of my life!

Name withheld to protect the guilty.

 

[double16in]

Roughneck: good jokes....thanks!

Des: I submit my humble qualifications to join those of you who are "poop experts"....while I don't have the intestinal fortitude to withstand your daily regimes of dealing with it on a human level, I have spent the last 26 years building and operating waste management facilities to turn poop into compost and other value-added products. As my son once said, "Daddy, I can't take you to Career Day at school....you're a poop engineer!" Funny, that's not what the college printed on my diploma....

I hope everyone's day was well and that their nights are even better!

 

[Desdemona]

Hi Roughneck... ROTFL! Great story!

PZ... honey, my feet aren't wet yet.... it must be because I have my hip waders on.

Magister and Geri... we're waiting for the next installment.

Hi SB and LTR. Hope you guys had a good day.

I want somebody to come and dance on my table. *Pouts*
Hi NCguy, midnighter, Blondetiger, Ravenstorm and everybody else.

GG... big hugs from me!!!!!

 

[Desdemona]

double16in.... you have a very complicated job. When I was in grad school, I took an elective course in Environmental Health.
The professor thought it would be fun for us to spend a few summer evenings standing by the poop pools at the local waste treatment plant. It was very educational. Never mind the fact that it was late June and summer session. UGH.

You have my respect. I'd rather deal with poop in small doses thank you.

 

[Georgia Girl]

Thank you thank you thank you

Roughneck you are the man of my dreams and have made my night. I needed that laugh more than you will ever realize.

PZ...glad you are happy to be acquainted with the pure version of me.

Everyone else have a good night.

Desi...want some cream soda?

Dawn

 

[Georgia Girl]

I have spent the last 26 years building and operating waste management facilities

We have close to the same job. I build waste water treatment plants also.

Dawn

 

[double16in]

Ahhhh....I knew we had more in common, Georgia Girl, than merely a shared passion for the erotic! We must compare notes (up close and personal..) sometime!