Cattle Cavern

[IDreamofBunnies]

Cue Tiny Tim and Brave Combo- "Over the Rainbow"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO*cough* Just a minute k?......k.OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111"

Moolamax stood on his tippy hoof and spun around in a complete circle like a tazmanian devil (but not like the gay one on TV) and smacked the kitties around and around.

But a Skipper Second Class Ninga Cadet kicked him in the butt, sending him flying into a tree! Oh no!

"FEWEL! ALL AWF YUIR MILK ARE BELONG TO US!"

 

[TheBooyah]

But Lord MooMoo had a trick up his... err... crap. He's a fricking floating hamburger, he's got nothing to hide! But none the less, a trick he had, for he was an imaginary number of years old, which gave him the wisdom to launch is FLINKING FRENCH FRY OF UTTER DEATH DESTRUCTION AND DOOM attack. Diping a french fry in some katchup, he flung it ACROSS THE ROOM, to land on the kitty ninja's head.

There was an errie silence. Moomalax, Meo, Lord MooMoo and the kat ninja looked at each other.

Then the cat's head blew up.

Don't fuck with the hamburger helper... bitch.

 

[TheBooyah]

Cat guts flew every where.

"Dude," Lord MooMoo said. "I killed the cat... you guys clean up the mess."

 

[Noktral]

Meo looked at the hambergurger helper.

"Your kung foo is strong."

He whiped the catsup (get it? pun... again) from his face... then, spying the other remaining standing kitty ninjas, he opened his trenchcoat.... exposing his 8 dick/udders....

"WAR CRY OF OCTO UDDERS!!!"

Then, Acid milk/cum began to spray out, splashing and melting all the kitty ninjas.

He then sat down... "I need to rest for half an hour before I can work up the energy to do that one again...."

 

[IDreamofBunnies]

The LOCO-WEED (tm) had worn off and Moomalax took to one hoof, "Lord Moo Moo, it pains us to see you ground up into burger meat but I recognize your majesty. Even though you were around an imaginary number of years ago. Yr peeps need you! Emperor Lord Meow Meow stole all the milk in Matador, right out of our women's udders! We need to get that cold refreshing milk back!"

He sighed, "The path is fraught with peril: cats, lambs, prolapsed rectal golems, and a nasty bear trap with shit smeared onto it await us. And other stuff I don't know about. Needless to say the Quats are ghey and we need to stomp their holes!"

 

[TheBooyah]

Lord MooMoo: Err...

 

[Noktral]

"Woah..."

 

[Noktral]

"Well, Moomalax, I have plenty of salt, for the prolapsed rectal golumns.... and, I have plenty of samurai swords for the ninja cats, and... I have plenty of guns for everyoen else.... and... I have kungfoo... lots of kunk foo."

He coeverd himself again as he waded through the goar, approaching the Lord Hambergurger helper.

"My name is Meo. I am the one... are you the fabled warrior who is eleventy billion years old?"

 

[TheBooyah]

Lord MooMoo recovered from his trance and raised his ancient cow blades to the sky.

YES, MOOMALAX! I SHALL AID THEE ON THY QUEST! We hav emuch to slay and a grate many infidel Butcher to bitch slap. Let us go in ANY PARTICULAR DIRECTION UNTIL WE FIND OUR WAY!

 

[TheBooyah]

INDEED I AM... but I hear that I am not that old... yet.

 

[Noktral]

"I see,"

Just then, Moophious appeared, walking up from behind him.

"I was supposed to be the black cow," he said... "But, I have a choice for you, Meo..."

"Again? Moophiois?" he replied in his California surfer/idiot accent.

"Yes... Again."

"Woah."

"You, Meo, have a choice, you can take either the red meat, or the blue meat."

"Ok... I'll take the green meat..."

"No Meo, that wasn't one of the questions..."

"Oh, my mistake. I'll take the purple pill..."

"Ugh," moophious sighed. "I'm going to find Trinimoo..."

"Woah..."

Meo looked back to hambruger helper. "When do you think Moomalax will respond to us?"

 

[IDreamofBunnies]

OMG MEENWILE IN TEH MOBILE COURT OF TEH EVIL EMPEROR LORD MEOW MEOW HE HAS A GUEST! BUT THIS HAPPENS FAR AWAY SO THE COWS DON"T KNOW IT YET BUT THEY WILL LATER CUZ ITS PART OF TEH STORY BUT THEY DONT KNOW IT NOW BUT YOU CAN KNOW IT CUZ YR A REEDER K? JUST DONT TELL TEH COWS ORE EVR1 WILL KNOW THAT U SUK!!!111LOL!

The sinister Emperor Lord Meow Meow sat on his litter box-command chair and stroked his whiskers looking at his guest pleased.

"U came highly recommended Mr..."

"Hello my good cat, I am the pube mupit. I joined you because even though I am a gay homosexual who hates pussy I love helping pussy-cats who are evil especially if it means I get all the hot frothy cow ejaculate. I will kill the cows for you, but I will do many things to them before I do. First I will take their weapons and shove them up my ass. Then I will poop in their mouths with their weapons still in my ass. Then I will deep throat their horns while one of them shoves a tree up my anus. Then I will masturbate while having sexual fantasies about R Kelly and Rosie O Donnel. But wait, there are many more things I will do to them. I will shove them in the trunk of my flying car which is shaped like an erect horse penis and fly to the Moo(get it?)n where my brother and gay homosexual fag male brother, Pube Beaker awaits. Then we will roll around in moo(get it?) cheese while we piss and poop all over the place. And then we will kill them by smacking them with our giant 43' inch cocks."

"Er...anything else?"

"Yes, I want a golden cat idol shaped like an erect horse penis as my reward."

"Sorry, but we don't have anymore idols shaped like erect horse penis'"

"What the fuck? What kind of piece of shit establishment is this? Fuck off and let me be!"

Pube Mupit left but he planned to kill them anyway LOL!

"Wait I have one idol left! I shoved it up my ass!"

 

[Noktral]

Meo sat there, thinking, -Thank fucking god I couldn't see that... cuz that would have just fuckin' pissed me off.-

 

[TheBooyah]

Just then Lord MooMoo had a vision from his great god the acient Uttermoishi.

Lord MooMoo swing his blades. An evil force cometh... seriously... he's gonna come on us if we don't watch it.

 

[IDreamofBunnies]

Moomalax nodded, "Berry good Meo, but u did not address your solution to the bear trap covered with shit problem. I would feel a lot better if you told us what you had up your cannibalized leather jacket for that one."

 

[Noktral]

Meo drew his gun... a medium sized one with lots of bull-its (get it? BULL-its?), and shot the bear trap covered in fecal matter.

Realizeing nothing happened, he just picked it up and saved it for later.

"What bear trap?"

"Woah..."

 

[TheBooyah]

Drawing from his ancient imanginary aged experience, Lord MooMoo points out to the distance...

I feel the power of the milk. I call it so, as I sukkled it in my cow form over Eleventy Billion years AGO! To the ancient mountians of the chicken warriors! There we will find the stolen milk!

 

[IDreamofBunnies]

Moomalax began skipping towards the mountains "Tra-la-la-la! Off to save teh milk!"

 

[Noktral]

"I sense much faggotry in the tra la la la la ling.... but, fortunately, I know kung foo."

Meo shithed his guns. He was never one to cower (get it... COW-er) in a battle, after all.

"Can we get moving (get it... MOO-ving?) now?"

Meo knealt, and then jumped inot the air, sending a ripple about himself. "Where is lord emperor meow meow...?!?"

 

[TheBooyah]

And the three intrepret warriors were off! Lord MooMoo guided them, of course... his experience was invaluable... partly because it did not exisit... but did it? I don't know. This caused Lord MooMoo to stop and wonder, and consult his great god the ancient Uttermoishi.

Uttermoishi: What?! You're reborn arn't you? What are you bitching about?

Lord MooMoo: I'm a fucking Hamburger.

Uttermoishi: But you're rare... which mean you almost could be a cow. But you are a bunch of meat.

Lord MooMoo: Well that makes it all better now. I shall go face the chicken warrior tribe, with my rare meat of mayhem!

 

[IDreamofBunnies]

Moomalax shook his head and hissed "Ix-nay on the aggotry-fay okes-jay! Look!"

He directed Meo's eyes towards the very phallic snakes slithering in the grass, they were dreaded Ghey snakes, sworn to leap up the collective anuses (ani?) of the straight cow populace.

"And it's Emperor Lord Meow Meow! Get it right!"

 

[Noktral]

Mooving (pun) right along....

"I am hoping to face the flock of fucking fucked up fucko fowl... feverishly fsoon..." (I needed that alliteration...)

"But, I know kung foo, so I'm ok..."

Meo hovered above the hamburgere that was talking to himself, and the skipping warrior. Who's steering (get it?!? STEER-ing) this party anyway?

Meo thought to himself, -at this rate, I should have been named the punisher... (GET IT!? PUN-isher?)-

HE spied the anus snakes... recalling his ancient kung foo vomit attack of the 465 stomaches... becuase all cows have 465 stomaches....

He prepared to hurk, floating safely in the air, above the ani-snakes...

 

[TheBooyah]

Lord MooMoo looked down at the Ghey snakes and floated out of danger distance.

"First of all, these Ghey Snakes attack Cow Anisues.... I am a bunck of meat... without an ass, so they cannot attack me... also, I can float higher than they attack.... I have Eleventy Billion years of experience beneath my bun, and you guys are just calfs. I'll let you guys deal with these snakes... because you need the Xp... besides, snakes give me the willies... especially Ghey ones...."

 

[Noktral]

As he was charging his vomit attack of the 490 stomaches, he began to set steaming land mines... knowing that as they went off, his arch nemisis, Pube Muppet, would be called to the battle field.

In a slop of yummy yummy ass excretions, one by one, the land mines were laced, lovingly. As the nakes approached, he was preparing the final prepared steps of preparation of the kung foo attak of the 522 stomaches, beucase all cows have 522 stomaches.

 

[IDreamofBunnies]

As Meo vomitted, Moolamax used his axe to deflect the vomit, using OMG TEEEM WURK to kill the nsaks. Moolamax was much relieved that he could stop skipping as it was sore on the hooves.

"Actually I could just fly I suppose"

He flapped his arms very rapidly until he rose into the ski!