Cattle Cavern

[TheBooyah]

Lord MooMoo looked down at the steaming cow pies.

*sniff*...Just like my mother used to make them....

 

[IDreamofBunnies]

Teh SHAMAN of the Chicken peepul of PLOO MOUNTAIN finished his summoning ritual and summoned the dreaded PLOT DEVICE DEMON.

"BUCK-BUCK-BAKKAW! Go kill the cows so they can't steal the milk we r guarding for Emperor Lord Meow Meow, m'kay?"

"Sure mon!" Said the deemon, toying with his dreads.

 

[Noktral]

Moomalax started to fli into the air, to Meo's supprise.

"Your kung foo is strong. Here is a surf board."

The first ghey snake hit the first land mine, since all that is ghey is attracted to yummy yummy ass excretions, especially heaping steaming piles from the rectal canals of Meo, the one cow.

The explossion was incredible, sending steaming cow pies a quarter mile high. Meo, being the one, was immune to the spray of his own fecal matter. Leather was hard to clean enough as it was.

 

[Noktral]

"A demon? Woah..."

 

[TheBooyah]

Lord MooMoo shook his.. crap. Well he shook something for darn sure.... as he stared at the flapping Moomalax. After four years you learn how to flap... and after eleventy billion you can float!

Hey... is that a deomon?

 

[IDreamofBunnies]

The dreaded (as in hairstyle, not reputation) PLOT DEVICE DEMON spun his nappy dreads like helicopter blades and confronted the cows just as they neared the gates of teh dkre PLOO MOUNTAIN!

"Wesa be taykin it reaaaalll eaaaaasssy mon! I jes have to keel you and I can drink some Red Stripe!"

 

[TheBooyah]

I never fought a demon before... dragons, ogers, witches, three-legged grasshoppers of doom, panda's with guns, little children, pregnant kangeroos, undead tulips, thrity foot snails, three inch frogs, second grade teachers, Tim... but never a demon.

 

[TheBooyah]

HEY! If I'm going to kick your ass, DEMON, I have to understand you! We cannot have a snappy retourt back and forth if you don't. Go back to speech therapy before you can fight us.

 

[Noktral]

"Three inch frogs? You' saw a french man naked?"

Meo looked at his homosexual hamburger friend now...

then he spied the demon... with a spying eye that only the one cow can spie with.

"Bring it..."

Then, Meo charged the giant demon, doing the dragon fist anal horn strike of DOOOOOOOOOOOOM. But, not before drinking all of his red stripe, storing it in his 3462th stomach, so he wouldn't get sick, first.... infront of him. Becuase he was the one. And he could.

 

[IDreamofBunnies]

"Dere's nooo need to be rude mon! I'm just here to progress the story and act as a minor adversary. Can we fight witout you hurting my feelings?"

He wielded his bladed tuba with the expertise of a master Bladed Tuba Warrior.

Moolamax started chewing on his LOCO-WEED cud again...

 

[TheBooyah]

Lord MooMoo is not homosexual! Lord MooMoo is 100% pure grade... well, meat actually...

well... now that I think about it. I'M A FUCKING HAMBURGER WHO CANT FUCK! WOMAN, MAN, I CAN'T DO EITHER!

But I digress... where is that Demon?

 

[Noktral]

Meo stopped.

HE began to wretch as he spewed a moontain (mountain.... but with moo... so it can be a pun...) worth of sticky cud. Now, the demon was TRAPPED WHERE HE WAS!!!!

 

[TheBooyah]

I THINK WE SHOLD DO ROCK PAPER SICORS TO SEE WHO GETS TO KILLS THE DEOMOM!

 

[IDreamofBunnies]

The dreaded PLOT DEVICE DEMON was enraged at the loss of his red stripe and began swinging the bladed tuba while playing Assmaster's 1st concerto.

"Itsa time to take you down Mr. Andermoo!"

Moolamax FLIPPED OUT and took out his mahcign guhne and started spraying him with lead.

 

[Noktral]

"So, Lord Mooo... you're a unic?"

Now ignoring the demon...

"Jeez, why dont' you just grab the bull by the horns, and do soemthing about it."

 

[TheBooyah]

Lord MooMoo looked about, and prepared to compete with his cow companions, hoping he would win. He wanted to say he killed a demon.. he never had before.

 

[Noktral]

Rock paper or scissors???

OK.. I put down... ME... and since I'm the one, I win.

Nyah Nyah.

 

[IDreamofBunnies]

The demon agreed to wait, playing a game of solitare while the three cows prepared for their game of ROCK PAPER SICORS!

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

SHOOT!

Moolamax held out PAPER!

 

[TheBooyah]

Gin!

 

[Noktral]

Meo looks at the number of posts, and his classification as still being a "Virgin."

"Excuse the hell out of me, but, after my 26th time at sex, I wasn't a virgin.... and this rather pisses me off. Needless to say..."

"Oh, and someone kill the demon, with my 30052 stomahces, I need to go take a major dump... it will be the one dump... and it will be swell."

"OK guys, make camp here, I'll be back in 20ish hours..."

Meo picks up a phone, and dematerializes.

 

[TheBooyah]

Lord MooMoo looked from Moomalax to Meo and then to the Demon.

Well, I really wanted to kill the demon, but since I am such a great badass, and you guys need some xp, I'll let....

MOOMALAX TAKE THE STAGE!

However, mind you, I may be Eleventy Billion years old... I've been doing jack shit during that time. TV dinners and stripbars for LORD MOOMOO!

 

[IDreamofBunnies]

Moolamax grabbed the demon and put him over his knee, whacking his behing with his axe Black Mamba style!

"Run home to your mother!"

"Sorry boss-man, Ima no japanese schoolboy and yousa no Uma Thurman!"

"K then 1 k1lL u."

He killed him, end of PLOT DEVICE DEMON!

MEANWHILE IN THE SHAMAN'S HUT!!!!!!111

"Buck-buck fuckaw. I'm dead, time to jerk it."

The shaman began to wank, knowing his chicken warriors would fail him, it was sort of inevitable.

 

[TheBooyah]

Then a BOOMING VOICE CAME OUT OF THE SKY... it was the great ancient god Uttermoishi.

Uttermoishi: I'm hungry.

Lord MooMoo: Crap.

Uttermoishi: Worry not noble cow warrior, slain by the infidel Butcher to be reborn as a hambuger, but to be eaten again by his own god. Worry not.... well actually worry, because this is going to hurt. If you taste good I will bring you back again.

Lord MooMoo: With Mustard?

Uttermoishi: Yes... with mustart...... CHOMP! ..... BURP!

And left behind were two grand cow blades, to be called upon again upon Lord MooMoo's second rebirth.

(But it will not be in Eleventy Billion Years... even if that isn't a real number)

 

[Noktral]

Meo watched the giant hamburger get eaten.

"Well fuxxxor."

Howevre, the shiney blades were rather attractive... so, he picked them up, and prepared to do some severe asskicking with them.

"YAR!!"

 

[IDreamofBunnies]

Teh Chicken Warriors of Ploo Mountain took defensive positions, armed with Billy Guns (Kind of like Tommy Guns only Billy instead roflmao!) and Custard Pies! Becuz they had spiked codpeices and shiney helmets they thought tehy were unstoppable but WE KNOW BETTER DONT WE!!!