Challenge: Short Form Mania

[Angeline]

Agreed. I am only interested in becoming better myself. I do not care to compete with anyone.
I think part of what is hard about trying new forms is that discomfort with the form makes it hard (for me) to know where and how to break/bend the rules.

For instance, I liked the sing songy quality of the original last line in my limerick, and though the edit follows the rhyming rules as elucidated by Annie, I do not think the poem is particularly improved.

I do think a problem with short forms is if you break a rule, like not rhyming or not repeating a line, it stands out because the poem is short. Otoh I'm a firm believer that it is *always* better to break a rule if one thinks it improves the poem overall. I have been scorned and rebuked for that attitude lol. But really if you look at a form like the sonnet, for example, experimentation has resulted in some truly wonderful poems. Just my opinion.

 

[Angeline]

Not so much degree of difficulty, except for double dactyl, which I have yet to grasp, mre getting mind on different track. But I'll try.

I have to read mine aloud over and over to see if I have the rhythm correct--sometimes I get it right, others not so much.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Agreed. I am only interested in becoming better myself. I do not care to compete with anyone.
I think part of what is hard about trying new forms is that discomfort with the form makes it hard (for me) to know where and how to break/bend the rules.

For instance, I liked the sing songy quality of the original last line in my limerick, and though the edit follows the rhyming rules as elucidated by Annie, I do not think the poem is particularly improved.

When I first came to this forum, I was rhyming everything and didn't see the point of free style. Yes I know it's the opposite scenario to you but the same principle applies. At that time there was a poet here called WickedEve who kept encouraging me to write freestyle and when I still kept saying I couldn't she kicked me up the ass!! Told me several home truths about my inability to try and keep on trying. Told me if I wanted to be a poet then I needed to do my very best to encompass all of it's aspects! Eve didn't suffer fools gladly as I found out and I hated her guts and went away in a hissy fit!
But as you see I came back and I listened to someone who knew what she was talking about and in doing so I got to know the poet too, she became a very good friend and I still miss her. The biggest rule she instilled in me was to try different forms even f I was crap at them, she saw more in me than I ever thought I had.

 

[Mrtenant]

Aladdin

Clerihew

Aladdin was a fine young lad
A little scruffy, true, and sad
Truly a diamond in the rough
But was it really the right stuff?

Limerick

His story was a fanciful tale
Not that one with the whale
He found an old lamp
Was no longer a tramp
On the quest for the Holy Grail (.....wait..what?! ...haha)


Triolet

Aladdin and the Genie were friends
Destined by fate so long ago
To work magic to wondrous ends
Aladdin and the Genie were friends
In a story that largely depends
On finding their freedom, you know?
Aladdin and the Genie were friends
Together their fortunes did grow

 

[Mrtenant]

I do think a problem with short forms is if you break a rule, like not rhyming or not repeating a line, it stands out because the poem is short. Otoh I'm a firm believer that it is *always* better to break a rule if one thinks it improves the poem overall. I have been scorned and rebuked for that attitude lol. But really if you look at a form like the sonnet, for example, experimentation has resulted in some truly wonderful poems. Just my opinion.

I know a guy that does that

Rather fond of that belief myself.

 

[Angeline]

I know a guy that does that

Rather fond of that belief myself.

Nice work on your set of short poems. The Holy Grail line cracked me up.

 

[Piscator]

As many of these forms have political overtones and Canada is ~ 100 days from our next election, I composed a poem for each ot the four major Party Leaders; Justin Trudeau - Liberal, Jagmeet Singh - New Democrat, Andrew Sheer - Conservative and Elizabeth May - Green Party.

If you care to know each Party's position on various issues, a partial summary can be found here.

Note morning after edits have been applied and dimeter of DD still seems forced.

Clerihew

Justin Trudeau, son of Pierre
and truth be told with better hair
but underneath his dashing dome
one wonders if anyone’s home.

Limerick

New Democrat Jagmeet Singh
the socialist bell he would ring
but when comes to a vote
if that boat did not float
then what will Jagmeet Singh sing?


Double Dactyl

Higgledy piggledy,
Andrew James Scheer
steadfastly opposed to
all left of right.

No carbon tax for us
subsidies for business
recycling Andy’s passed
gas to light night.


Triolet

‘Twas cool to write a triolet
when the Party’s colour is Green
and led by Elizabeth May
‘Twas cool to write a triolet
though climate change is here to stay
and inequality obscene.
‘Twas cool to write a triolet
when the Party’s colour is Green.

 

[Angeline]

The posts about form poems and how to critique have been moved here. If you wish to continue that conversation, please do so in the General Commentary thread. Thanks.

 

[Angeline]

As many of these forms have political overtones and Canada is ~ 100 days from our next election, I composed a poem for each ot the four major Party Leaders; Justin Trudeau - Liberal, Jagmeet Singh - New Democrat, Andrew Sheer - Conservative and Elizabeth May - Green Party.

If you care to know each Party's position on various issues, a partial summary can be found here.

Note morning after edits have been applied and dimeter of DD still seems forced.

Clerihew

Justin Trudeau, son of Pierre
and truth be told with better hair
but underneath his dashing dome
one wonders if anyone’s home.

Limerick

New Democrat Jagmeet Singh
the socialist bell he would ring
but when comes to a vote
if that boat did not float
then what will Jagmeet Singh sing?


Double Dactyl

Higgledy piggledy,
Andrew James Scheer
steadfastly opposed to
all left of right.

No carbon tax for us
subsidies for business
recycling Andy’s passed
gas to light night.


Triolet

‘Twas cool to write a triolet
when the Party’s colour is Green
and led by Elizabeth May
‘Twas cool to write a triolet
though climate change is here to stay
and inequality obscene.
‘Twas cool to write a triolet
when the Party’s colour is Green.

Wonderful P'tor! Your clerihew made me giggle and that last line in your limerick is especially good imho. And kudos for doing all four forms! I have an idea for using all of them myself (not about politics in my country...too depressing...sigh), but I haven't thought it through yet.

 

[butters]

Double Dactyl
Higgledy piggledy
Daddy and you and me
spent Sundays happily
in the state park.

Minnows caught in our nets,
badminton and croquet,
indefatigably
rambling till dark.

Limerick
Late summer tomatoes are best
served on fresh rye, lightly dressed
and Silver Queen corn
is served unadorned,
followed by seed-spitting contests.

Clerihew
General George Washington
garrisoned in Trenton
crossed the Delaware dark
and all we got was this park.

if you prefer i don't quote these in full, angie, just let me know and i'll edit them out - but they are my favourites so far even if they're not all about the same person your limerick, especially, was properly rhythmic. not sure why so many have issues with that particular form but they do

i can't shout since i've not even managed more than the limerick so far and probably won't. what WAS noah's full name? guess i should go bibli-google....

what, wait... noah was 500 years old before he fathered those boys? dayumn! was viagra a thing back then?

 

[Angeline]

if you prefer i don't quote these in full, angie, just let me know and i'll edit them out - but they are my favourites so far even if they're not all about the same person your limerick, especially, was properly rhythmic. not sure why so many have issues with that particular form but they do

i can't shout since i've not even managed more than the limerick so far and probably won't. what WAS noah's full name? guess i should go bibli-google....

what, wait... noah was 500 years old before he fathered those boys? dayumn! was viagra a thing back then?

Thanks Missus B. I only care about quoting the whole thing if I think I might remove a poem and submit it for publication. These poems not so much lol.

I really miss Jersey tomatoes and Silver Queen corn. It's a homesick thing, I guess. I live right near a huge farmer's market now, but I still miss the tastes of home. I won't even get started on pizza!

Noah? I've noah idea.

(ETA You could say "Noah of ancient times" or some such to get around the measly two-syllable line thing...)

 

[cascadiabound]

I really miss Jersey tomatoes and Silver Queen corn. It's a homesick thing, I guess. I live right near a huge farmer's market now, but I still miss the tastes of home. I won't even get started on pizza!

I know what you mean about summer tastes and tastes of childhood.
I miss corn eaten hours after it was picked. bought from the farm stand in front of the field.

And while it's not my favorite as an adult, I miss Chicago style pizza from the place I used to go on Lakefront Drive.

 

[Angeline]

I know what you mean about summer tastes and tastes of childhood.
I miss corn eaten hours after it was picked. bought from the farm stand in front of the field.

And while it's not my favorite as an adult, I miss Chicago style pizza from the place I used to go on Lakefront Drive.

I went to school in Madison, Wisconsin (omg the cheese and yogurt and ice cream there was so good, perhaps worthy of its own limerick lol), so got to visit Chicago a bunch of times. Never cottoned to the pizza, but I only had it at Pizzaria Uno so maybe not the best (I've heard good things about Lou Maldonado's). But I love that city! I almost took a job there but ended up back on the East coast.

 

[Piscator]

Wonderful P'tor! Your clerihew made me giggle and that last line in your limerick is especially good imho. And kudos for doing all four forms! I have an idea for using all of them myself (not about politics in my country...too depressing...sigh), but I haven't thought it through yet.

Thanks Angie, a giggle is high praise for these scribblings. One of the problems when dealing with current politicians is that the syllables in their names are more or less already set.

 

[Remec]

Okay, worked something up (still pondering the whole double dactyl), although I think the meter/scansion might be off a bit...

Three Poems on Stan Lee

A Limerick
There once was a writer who used his head
to save a publishing house thought dead,
with his twinkling eyes,
he would hand out a No-Prize,
and all agreed he will be sorely missed. ‘Nuff said.

B Clerihew
Stan “The Man” Lee,
worked with Ditko and Kirby,
then went from comics fame to
become master of the cameo.

C Triolet
The main concept from Spider-Man,
“with great power comes great responsibility”,
No better way to live a life than
the main concept from Spider-Man
did it arise from banter in the Bullpen?
the definitive line from Stan “The Man” Lee
The main concept from Spider-Man,
“with great power comes great responsibility.”

 

[Angeline]

Okay, worked something up (still pondering the whole double dactyl), although I think the meter/scansion might be off a bit...

Three Poems on Stan Lee

A Limerick
There once was a writer who used his head
to save a publishing house thought dead,
with his twinkling eyes,
he would hand out a No-Prize,
and all agreed he will be sorely missed. ‘Nuff said.

B Clerihew
Stan “The Man” Lee,
worked with Ditko and Kirby,
then went from comics fame to
become master of the cameo.

C Triolet
The main concept from Spider-Man,
“with great power comes great responsibility”,
No better way to live a life than
the main concept from Spider-Man
did it arise from banter in the Bullpen?
the definitive line from Stan “The Man” Lee
The main concept from Spider-Man,
“with great power comes great responsibility.”

Woohoo! Remec in da house! I know you can rarely resist a good challenge and was hoping you'd join in this one.

I may have to show these to my (artist) daughter who adores Stan Lee. She met him at a Comic Con about five years ago (I think you saw the photo I once shared of it elsewhere) and would def appreciate your poems!

 

[HarryHill]

I'm down to a limerick. Double Dactyl had me smack full of syllable weight,
it wont be fine but at least the first two lines of my Clerihew rhyme.

 

[HarryHill]

Robert A. Heinlein
wrote many a fine one,
Sci-fi scribing Mo-Fo,
sending me down that Glory Road.
.
Higgley Piggledy
trans-universally
King Robert sped away
stars to go see.

Here there be dragons, son
Pan-astronomical
dimensions, intentions
Man, the stories.
.
How wide a path was trod
past cold water ghouls and clods
all intent on domination
a hero's indoctrination
what now? Oh my god!

 

[Angeline]

Robert A. Heinlein
wrote many a fine one,
Sci-fi scribing Mo-Fo,
sending me down that Glory Road.
.
Higgley Piggledy
trans-universally
King Robert sped away
stars to go see.

Here there be dragons, son
Pan-astronomical
dimensions, intentions
Man, the stories.
.
How wide a path was trod
past cold water ghouls and clods
all intent on domination
a hero's indoctrination
what now? Oh my god!

I have read these a few times now and I do believe as a set they are the most cohesively linked thus far. I'm guessing your approach to writing poems overall made that happen naturally. Always a silver lining.

This is why it fascinates me to see how differently people interpret these challenges. There are always unexpected welcome surprises.

(Also I like a good near rhyme.)

 

[HarryHill]

I have read these a few times now and I do believe as a set they are the most cohesively linked thus far. I'm guessing your approach to writing poems overall made that happen naturally. Always a silver lining.

This is why it fascinates me to see how differently people interpret these challenges. There are always unexpected welcome surprises.

(Also I like a good near rhyme.)

..
It was an interesting (and difficult for me) challenge. I'm still not 100% sure I nailed all of the forms.

 

[Angeline]

Hi poets. Sorry I've been MIA for a few days, but I'm dealing with some family stuff that is consuming my life right now.

I'm thrilled so many of you have participated thus far (especially given that this sort of poetry is so not everyone's cup of tea), and thank you all for giving it a whirl. Just a reminder that you have until 6PM EDT tomorrow, July 18th if you want to throw down some more poems.

you all!

 

[Angeline]

Remec the next challenge is yours.

 

[HarryHill]

The new challenge will be HERE soon.

 

[butters]

be well, angelina