Clever Insults

[Kitty]

http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/images/smilies/indiff.gif

"Fuck you."

Always works for me.

 

[k_m_d_]

http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/images/smilies/indiff.gif

"Fuck you."

Always works for me.

How is that clever?

 

[BCJ4]

If I wanted any lip from you I would rattle my zipper.

 

[NorthRockJohnson]

One I heard from a comedian:

"You look like you combed your hair with a cock."

 

[tender_elf]

http://i.myniceprofile.com/503/50364.gif

 

[C5MiGuy]

I could agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.

 

[BCJ4]

The best part of you ran down your mother's leg.

 

[SimoneLisbon]

It's not me, it's you...You're just not that into me...

 

[MrEd63]

I've been called worse than that, by better than you

 

[multitalentman]

Your face looks like it caught fire and someone put it out with a wet brick.

 

[MrEd63]

Another one with delusions od adequecy

 

[multitalentman]

When you were born, the doctor slapped your mother.

 

[multitalentman]

Did your parents have any children that lived?

 

[tender_elf]

Excuse me, do I know you? Cause I have no idea why your talking to me

Reality is that part of the imagination we all agree on.

 

[BigWeapon]

Wow.. You like like a dirty messy pussy

 

[PrurientProf]

about a military officer: his men would follow him anywhere...but only out of a sense of morbid curiosity

 

[dirtwrench]

I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my ass.

 

[greeneyedvirgin]

I'd slap you but shit splatters.

 

[dirtwrench]

Let me grab a Big Chief tablet and some Crayons. Then maybe I can explain it in terms you will understand.

 

[greeneyedvirgin]

Let me grab a Big Chief tablet and some Crayons. Then maybe I can explain it in terms you will understand.

LOL.

I always just say....Do I need to spell that out for you in crayon?

 

[dirtwrench]

Sadly, I am NOT allowed to tell people that when I am on the phone at work. But I have said it to a few coworkers....

 

[greeneyedvirgin]

If (s)he had a brain, (s)he'd probably take it out and play with it.

 

[sensualsharon]

I'd call you a cunt, but you lack both the warmth and the depth.

 

[DesEsseintes]

A few literary ones which I like because they are reasonably subtle:

This book fills a much-needed gap.

Thank you for your article, which I shall waste no time in reading.

Your essay was brilliant and original. However, what was brilliant wasn't original, and what was original wasn't brilliant.

 

[37_ttej]

"I am sick to death of cleverness. Everybody is clever nowadays. You can't go anywhere without meeting clever people. The thing has become an absolute public nuisance."

Say, I seem to have misplaced my mirror. Anyone seen it?