Clever Insults

[mandoscot]

When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you.

 

[prof39]

To the village chiropractor - He sucks in the botched and helps them on to the bliss eternal.

 

[multitalentman]

Your so ugly they had to tie a pork chop around your neck just to get the dog to play with you.

 

[C5MiGuy]

Knew this girl who could not stay on track with conversation for more than a sentence. And it was all sorts of random that had nothing to do with the discussion at hand.

She was definitely a conversational goldfish.

 

[ToysAreUs]

Here's a famous exchange between Bessie Braddock, a Labour Member of Parliament and Winston Churchill:

"Winston, you are drunk."

To which Churchill responded, "And you, madam, are ugly, but I shall be sober in the morning."

 

[MDaddy]

Your so ugly the Dr. Smacked your momma for given birth to ya...

 

[MDaddy]

If I wanted any lip from you I woulda scraped it off my zipper...

 

[badjanus]

Here's a famous exchange between Bessie Braddock, a Labour Member of Parliament and Winston Churchill:

"Winston, you are drunk."

To which Churchill responded, "And you, madam, are ugly, but I shall be sober in the morning."

Another...
You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.

 

[badjanus]

the best churchill quip

Lady Astor:
“Winston, if I were your wife I’d put poison in your coffee.”
Winston Churchill:*
“Nancy, if I were your husband I’d drink it.”

 

[emmy_christina]

I don't think you are stupid. You just have a bad luck when thinking.

 

[hairball18]

I don't think you are stupid. You just have a bad luck when thinking.

I would have a real problem insulting this beautiful lady

 

[Titts4Tatts]

Who dresses you and why do they hate you so much ?

 

[Mooket]

"Who gave you permission to breed?"

 

[tender_elf]

Who dresses you and why do they hate you so much ?

I love that one

 

[texou]

You're so skinny, you gotta run around in the shower to get wet.

 

[dirtwrench]

(looking down) Yep, I knew it. Slip on shoes. You are too stupid to even tie you own shoes.


Or the alternate- Who ties your shoes for you? I know you aren't smart enough to do it.

 

[37_ttej]

(looking down) Yep, I knew it. Slip on shoes. You are too stupid to even tie you own shoes.


Or the alternate- Who ties your shoes for you? I know you aren't smart enough to do it.

Heehee, that's why us Aussie lads wear thongs (flip flops).
We only gotta figure out which two toes the thingy goes between an' we're all good.
None of these fancy laces things to try to tie.

 

[DukeSupernature]

She came away from that party looking like a plasters' radio.

 

[cliteatingman]

130? Are you sure that is your IQ, not your sperm count?

 

[MrEd63]

Act your age not your shoe size

 

[Devlishone4fun]

Your so full of shit, that when your Momma took a shit, she called your Daddy into the bathroom and said looked honey, there is a pair of eyes down there.

 

[Devlishone4fun]

You're so ugly, you have to put a bag on your head to get your dog to hump your leg!

 

[multitalentman]

I'd slap you but,
shit splatters.

 

[Greeneyedcanadian]

I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here.

 

[tender_elf]

When I'm with you I'm still alone.