C'mon, Britain. Is "dangerously immature buffoon" really such a bad thing?

[Guest]

sometimes images say more than words... if i offend you...ignore my post...not sorry

http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2004-9/822586/unitedstatesofcanada.jpg

 

[Guest]

Re: Re: Just received from a Brit/US couple...

Yet again, no. And, yet again, why?

(seriously, I have absolutely no idea what that's supposed to mean)

I believe it means Somme is wondering if you actually read, speak, or understand English.

Perhaps.

 

[BikeWriter]

Re: Re: Re: Just received from a Brit/US couple...

Sarahh, I read "Transparent Allure." That is, uh, quite a story!

 

[Guest]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Just received from a Brit/US couple...

Sarahh, I read "Transparent Allure." That is, uh, quite a story!

Thank you!

 

[Joe Wordsworth]

Re: Re: Re: Just received from a Brit/US couple...

Originally posted by sweetsubsarahh
I believe it means Somme is wondering if you actually read, speak, or understand English.

Perhaps.

Then, conclusively, yes... I read, speak, and understand English very well. Though I'm not certain at all what that has to do with anything.

 

[shereads]

Y'know... if this whole thing turns out for the best, I wonder what the doomsayers'll do.

Tens of thousands of civilians in Iraq won't be around to find out what you would call a successful outcome of GWB's next four years. If you can debate the merits of the man whose lies and blunders killed those people and the 1000 Americans who died for reasons never fully explained, then Bush will have a much easier time making you happy than he will me.

Forgetting the people who've died because of Bush's negligence in Iraq, I'll agree that things have worked out for the best if your boy does nothing more than reverse the damage he's done. For starters,

We are now the single largest debtor nation in the world.

Skilled professionals are working at unskilled, low-wage jobs, or not at all.

Under George W. Bush, the income gap between the richest and poorest Americans now exceeds that of every industrialized nation except Mexico and Russia.

Veterans benefits have been reduced, at a time when unpublished numbers of wounded veterans are returning from Iraq.

While Bush continues to deny the need for a military draft, people who've already served in Afghanistan and Iraq are being sent back, and plans are underway to pull troops out of other hotspots like Korea. We are threatened by nuclear weapons programs in North Korea and Iran, the sale of Pakistan's nuclear weapons technology to unknown buyers, increasing anti-American sentiment among people who were either our allies or neutral after 9/11, an increase in terrorist incidents around the world, and borders here at home that are no more insecure than they were two years ago. Anybody with a raft and a duffle bag could smuggle WMD onto a remote stretch of coast in the Northwestern U.S. Hell, for that matter they could come ashore at Key West where a boatload of Cubans turned themselves in at Immigration last summer after a few hours of sightseeing.

The EPA has been stripped of all but symbolic authority, to the benefit of industry and the detriment of people who breathe, or drink water.

The no-child-left-behind act is so underfunded it's a cruel joke.

Social services have been cut to skeletal budget levels while Halliburton continues to profit in Iraq despite an ongoing investigation into corrupt practices.

For the first time, a president wants to mandate discrimination against one group of citizens, in the U.S. Constitution.

The abortion rate is up under GWB, thanks to high unemployment and reduced social services. Meanwhile, the president wants to impose on all Americans the religious belief that human life begins as soon as the ovum agrees to let the sperm buy her a gin & tonic. States will have the right to take over my uterus for nine months, just like they condemn private property to build a freeway overpass.

How many of those probems would have to be solved for you to think things have worked out for the best?

If things turn out for the best by my standards, this doomsayer will kneel at GWB's feet and worship him as a god. Of course, there will still be blood on our hands, but you can't have everything.

 

[shereads]

Re: Just received from a Brit/US couple...

Somme, need I remind you and Her Majesty the Queen that Prince Charles was once recorded making a phone call to Camilla Parker-Bowles during which he said he envied her tampons?

Don't make me come over there.

To the citizens of the United States of America :-

In the light of your failure to elect a proper President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour', skipping the letter 'U' is nothing more than laziness on your part. Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters. You will end your love affair with the letter 'Z' (pronounced 'zed' not 'zee') and the suffix "ize" will be replaced by the suffix "ise". You will learn that the suffix 'burgh is pronounced 'burra' e.g. Edinburgh. You are welcome to respell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you can't cope with correct pronunciation. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed". There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you shouldn't have chat shows. When you learn to develop your vocabulary then you won't have to use bad language as often.

2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of "-ize."

3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to Cockney, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents - Scottish dramas such as "Taggart" will no longer be broadcast with subtitles. While we're talking about regions, you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is "Devon". If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become "shires" e.g. Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire.

4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English characters. British sit-coms such as "Men Behaving Badly" or "Red Dwarf" will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who can't cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness.

5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.

6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full Kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2005. You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.15% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called "rounders" which is baseball without fancy team strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.

7. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because we don't believe you are sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you will require a permit if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day."

9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are cr*p and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips. Fries aren't even French; they are Belgian though 97.85% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called "crisps". Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat. Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.

11. As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself.

12. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all, it is lager. From November 1st only proper British Bitter will be referred to as "beer", and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as "Lager."

The substances formerly known as "American Beer" will henceforth be referred to as "Near-Frozen Knat's Urine", with the exception of the product of the American Budweiser company whose product will be referred to as "Weak Near-Frozen Knat's Urine". This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in Pilsen, Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.

13. From December 1st the UK will harmonise petrol (or "Gasoline" as you will be permitted to keep calling it until April 1st 2005) prices with the former USA. The UK will harmonise its prices to those of the former USA and the Former USA will, in return, adopt UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon - get used to it).

14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers andtherapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.

 

[BigAndTall]

sometimes images say more than words... if i offend you...ignore my post...not sorry

http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2004-9/822586/unitedstatesofcanada.jpg

Didn't Oregon have the gay marriage amendment ban also?

And Illionis had only 4 counties vote for Kerry so you might need to correct that on your map also. Same for upstate New York.


But I get the point your making

 

[shereads]

sometimes images say more than words... if i offend you...ignore my post...not sorry

http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2004-9/822586/unitedstatesofcanada.jpg

I keep telling our friends in Canadia, they'd better hand over the vaccine peacefully.

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

I keep telling our friends in Canadia, they'd better hand over the vaccine peacefully.

I heard that the vaccine in the mail.









So they get to the right people, the ones from those inferior Canadian Laboratories have been marked with a red Cross.

 

[amicus]

For Somme...whose green eyed jealousy spills over....

Know a dozen brits and scots living with parents and sharing abodes in the 'shared equity' realm because BG law inhibits production of sufficient living space..(you have well enough land) the dutch build dikes even....

I searched one out of over 10,000 sources for homes for rent, 3 bedroom in a range from $300 to $600 US...I thought you might like to read it and weep...

http://www.apartments.com/search/oa...=69&partner=cinci&prvpg=5&cont.x=39&cont.y=10

We will let you in...even in Ohio...but you should have a usable skill...besides being a big mouthed anti american bloviate...

amicus...

 

[Somme]

For Somme...whose green eyed jealousy spills over....

Know a dozen brits and scots living with parents and sharing abodes in the 'shared equity' realm because BG law inhibits production of sufficient living space..(you have well enough land) the dutch build dikes even....

I searched one out of over 10,000 sources for homes for rent, 3 bedroom in a range from $300 to $600 US...I thought you might like to read it and weep...

http://www.apartments.com/search/oa...=69&partner=cinci&prvpg=5&cont.x=39&cont.y=10

We will let you in...even in Ohio...but you should have a usable skill...besides being a big mouthed anti american bloviate...

amicus...

Amicus, you presume volumes, which doesn't help your case or credibility one iota.

My personal housing conditions are quite in order, thanking you very much, and I've not the least desire to emigrate anywhere. I'm sure Ohio will be able to manage without me.

As to your charge that I'm anti-American. This is preposterous. I even enjoy the company of many people from the USofA (and the rest of the Americas)- otherwise I'd hardly be here, would I?

What I do NOT enjoy and what I most frankly despise, is the bullying of other countries by your government. It is crude. It is mean spirited. It is dishonest. It furthers misery. It must stop.

We in the rest of the world are by now quite awake to the sommetimes-not-so-veiled-threats that your junta-in-Washington sends to us. Bugger them - and you too - if you want to continue treating us in the same manner that you treat your fellow citizens. It is TOO transparent.

Wake up, Amicus, because the rest of the world knows by now how to translate 'American'.

 

[amicus]

Somme....you said:

"...What I do NOT enjoy and what I most frankly despise, is the bullying of other countries by your government. It is crude. It is mean spirited. It is dishonest. It furthers misery. It must stop...."

I really don't follow or acknowledge your concept of bullying other countries. We were attacked on September 11, 2001 by foreign forces.

We lost more people in 9/11 than at Pearl Harbor and more americans died that day than on D-Day June 6th, 1944 on the Normandy Beaches.

It is not a small thing with me...nor with any americans that much of the world expects us to turn the other cheek. I for one would not be adverse to using a nuclear weapon on the capitol city of any nation found harboring terrorists.

Those bastards...and include yourself if the shoe fits...do not come here and do that to us and walk away...never...if it requires turning the middle east into the stone age again...then so be it.

I think chilledvodka said it best....


amicus...

 

[cantdog]

I really don't follow or acknowledge your concept of bullying other countries.

amicus...

True. You neither follow nor acknowledge, amicus. Once you've told him that you refuse to follow or acknowledge what someone has said, there isn't much point in continuing, you know. You could have kept it concise and stopped right there.

You can't very well discuss what your interlocutor won't even acknowledge, so you may as well have addressed a fencepost, Somme. You'll notice his post was about other things: terrorism, beaches, skyscrapers, anything but the topic. Typical amicus.

 

[Somme]

True. You neither follow nor acknowledge, amicus. Once you've told him that you refuse to follow or acknowledge what someone has said, there isn't much point in continuing, you know. You could have kept it concise and stopped right there.

You can't very well discuss what your interlocutor won't even acknowledge, so you may as well have addressed a fencepost, Somme. You'll notice his post was about other things: terrorism, beaches, skyscrapers, anything but the topic. Typical amicus.

<nods>.........I know, cant.........silly sod. Still, the more Swahilli that folk blather, the more entertainment for us.

 

[Somme]

Amicus, I do believe that I most politely called you a prat before?.

I wasn't wrong.

 

[bg23]

Somme....you said:

"...What I do NOT enjoy and what I most frankly despise, is the bullying of other countries by your government. It is crude. It is mean spirited. It is dishonest. It furthers misery. It must stop...."

I really don't follow or acknowledge your concept of bullying other countries. We were attacked on September 11, 2001 by foreign forces.

I rather think this is because you do not wish to. You refer to 9/11 and use it to justify everything that America has done? This is not reasonable.

We lost more people in 9/11 than at Pearl Harbor and more americans died that day than on D-Day June 6th, 1944 on the Normandy Beaches.

It is not a small thing with me...nor with any americans that much of the world expects us to turn the other cheek. I for one would not be adverse to using a nuclear weapon on the capitol city of any nation found harboring terrorists.

Again, the victim card. "We were attacked, so everything that we do is justified".

Those bastards...and include yourself if the shoe fits...do not come here and do that to us and walk away...never...if it requires turning the middle east into the stone age again...then so be it.

I think chilledvodka said it best....


amicus...

You are a very silly man, aren't you? Patriotic, which is certainly commendable, but very silly, I think.
Did you honestly think that referring to CV would help your cause? I love CV, but the man's a lunatic. A lovable lunatic, but still. kiss: @ CV.)

 

[bg23]

Amicus, I do believe that I most politely called you a prat before?.

I wasn't wrong.

Prat. 'Tis a lovely word. It means "butt", you know.

 

[Guest]

Prat. 'Tis a lovely word. It means "butt", you know.

I thought it meant baby stroller?

No wait - that's pram, isn't it? LOL!

At any rate, ami certainly fits into many categories of insult. *sigh*

(He certainly doesn't help the negative view of America shared by so many other countries right now.)

 

[oggbashan]

UK Foreign Policy

The UK's foreign policy for years has been to deal with whoever is in effective control of a country whether we like or approve of them or not. That is a pragmatic solution that ignores governments-in-exile, revolutionaries (unless they win effective control of a country or a significant part of a country) and wishful thinking. We might sympathise with potential governments but we deal with the reality of power.

That policy means that we would work with President Bush. We would have worked with President Kerry, had he been elected. We talk to President Castro, to Colonel Gaddafi, to the People's Republic of China and Taiwan, and with war-lords if they control territory.

With allies, we also keep in touch with oppositions who might legitimately become the government of the country because we may have to deal with them when in power. What we do NOT do is attempt to influence the outcome of a democratic process in someone else's country. That's not cricket.

As far as the US is concerned, we support them as far as we can whoever is in power. Our aims and theirs are generally similar in foreign policy terms, whether a Republican or Democrat administration is in power in the US or a Labour or Conservative administration is in power in the US. Domestic matters in the US are not our concern unless they are likely to affect US's policy towards the UK. That has rarely happened except in the months immediately before Pearl Harbor when there was a significant movement in the US towards isolation at any cost.

In reality, the difference to the UK's worldwide foreign policy if a Bush or Kerry administration is a matter of detail, not major issues. We distinguish between Afghanistan, Iraq and Al-Queda but our government wants solutions to all of them, as would Bush or Kerry. The difference might have been how, not whether those issues should be tackled.

Og