Come sit on Santas lap...

[IhateClowns]

Ho Ho Ho Merry Christmas/Quanza/Hannukah/Winter Soltice/Yule or whatever you call this time of year. It is me Santa Claus. I am sitting on the throne and just finished the last Bathroom Reader so I have some free time on my hands.

So sit down get comfy and tell me what you want for Christmas.....

 

[IhateClowns]

http://img714.imageshack.us/img714/9714/badsantadancentury.jpg

Ho Ho Ho Merry Fucking whatever! What do you want????

 

[shadysmurfette]

Did you wash those hands? =P

 

[IhateClowns]

Did you wash those hands? =P

You are supposed to be sitting on my lap tellingme what you want...don't worry about where my hands have been or where they are going

 

[Tiarra]

Santa!

*squeals with delight as she hops into His lap; hips rolling gently as she adjusts, making herself purrfectly comfortable*

As You know, I've been a very good girl this year, Santa! While there have been those who have tried to lead me astray, my head has been filled with nothing but sugar, spice and everything nice!

This year, I would like a special boy slipped under my tree, wearing nothing but a big red bow and a smile! I hope it's not asking too much for Him to have an oral fixation and that He be 6'3...

If he happened to arrive with an Under The Bed Restraint System, that would make me sooo happy this Christmas! *S*

*crosses fingers, toes and legs*

Also, my moist favorite toy has sadly gone on to Toy Heaven, and I would very much like to have it replaced! You know the one, right Santa? It's truly the gift that keeps on giving, and no girl should be without it!

*smiles sweetly as she sucks slowly on her candy cane, twirling it in and out of her mouth*

Last but not least, I wish for my family and friends to get all that they desire this Christmas, and for their New Year to be filled with love, good fortune and good health! *S*

*kisses Him gently on the cheek before she slips off His lap; adjusts her skirt and scampers off*

 

[janeyl]

I'll sit on your lap Santa...just be warned...I'm a wriggler

 

[Kathi50]

~Jumps into Santa’s lap and kisses him on the cheek~

Okay Santa, since I have been a very good girl this year, and I am not greedy in the least, I am asking for only two things under my tree.

First, I would like a cloning machine. See, there is this amazing man in Motor City who believes he would like my company on a more full-time basis (and who am I to argue…..he is intelligent….wonderful….sexy….and shares my love for 17th century architecture…not to mention that thing he can do with his tongue) and I would like to duplicate myself so that I can leave my clone here to handle things while I ride off on his Gold Wing….

There is also a man in the Windy City that I need to clone….Brilliant and gorgeous and keeps me from going off the deep end more often than not and I need him around me constantly as my tether. He has offered to clone multiples of himself but truth be told, I only need one of him.

Now, the second thing I need is a transporter… there is yet another man in California that has pulled me back from the edge and yanked me out of some dark places more often than I care to mention but there are times when I just need him with me, in the same room, holding me and telling me that tomorrow is going to come and I am still going to be here when it does. Planes and trains just take too long and I am impatient.

Thank you Santa for taking the time to listen….and damn, if you aren’t cute….

~Kisses Santa again and hops off his lap~

 

[KnightWing]

Um,,, I think I'll just stand here...

Hey Santa,,, If you could help out Kathi above, you'd probably be doing both of us a favor!!! Oh, and if you have any Austin Martin's laying around...

Be careful flying, fat man!

 

[Emerald_Lilly]

*smiles and shyly sits on Santa's lap*
Santa, Mistress tells me i have been a good girl so i will take her word for it. if you could just wrap me up like a beautiful, festive present with ribbon in all the right places and deliver me to a certain wonderful woman in the U.K. while you are there, i would very much appreciate it.

Thank you Santa!
*slips off Santa's lap to scurry off to find Mistress*

 

[Jinxi Minxi]

*Walks up to where Santa sits, leans over to flash my cleavage, goes near his ear and whispers...*


Santa, I've been a very very naughty girl this year...what can you do for me instead? There's nothing that I want this year for I already have what I need...

*Stands up straight, spins on my 4" heels and saunters off, hips swinging as I walk away*

 

[Mrs.H]

Santa? I'm afraid if I sit on your lap I'll catch your cold.

Can I get a lap sitting raincheck for when you feel better?

 

[IhateClowns]

Santa!

*squeals with delight as she hops into His lap; hips rolling gently as she adjusts, making herself purrfectly comfortable*

As You know, I've been a very good girl this year, Santa! While there have been those who have tried to lead me astray, my head has been filled with nothing but sugar, spice and everything nice!

This year, I would like a special boy slipped under my tree, wearing nothing but a big red bow and a smile! I hope it's not asking too much for Him to have an oral fixation and that He be 6'3...

If he happened to arrive with an Under The Bed Restraint System, that would make me sooo happy this Christmas! *S*

*crosses fingers, toes and legs*

Also, my moist favorite toy has sadly gone on to Toy Heaven, and I would very much like to have it replaced! You know the one, right Santa? It's truly the gift that keeps on giving, and no girl should be without it!

*smiles sweetly as she sucks slowly on her candy cane, twirling it in and out of her mouth*

Last but not least, I wish for my family and friends to get all that they desire this Christmas, and for their New Year to be filled with love, good fortune and good health! *S*

*kisses Him gently on the cheek before she slips off His lap; adjusts her skirt and scampers off*

Why hello Little Girl, SO I want to get this straight you want a 6'3 inch fella tied to a bed that has an oral fixation? So something to this effect then?

http://img255.imageshack.us/img255/3866/tiedtoabed1.jpg

As for your toy that went to heaven I will replace it with:

http://img63.imageshack.us/img63/6140/10rabbitvibrators.jpg


And Mrs. Claus always has to remind me that a girl has a second best friend as well:

http://img190.imageshack.us/img190/633/duracellpluscx10.jpg

As for you friends and family you want them to be happy and well. If you have the above to gifts then I think they will be happy because they won't have to deal with you when you are not able to get off. So it is a win-win for everyone.

HO HO HO Merry Christmas

 

[IhateClowns]

I'll sit on your lap Santa...just be warned...I'm a wriggler

By all means please sit down and make yourself comfy. I want you to do whatever it takes to get as comfy as possible. Oh and you brought beer for Santa? My my you have been a good girl this year

http://img258.imageshack.us/img258/6480/normalnaughtysanta.jpg

 

[Needfull Thing]

Yo Santa.

I'd like more money, more time, less work and a nymphomaniac.

Think you can help a brother out??

 

[jager69x]

*running and jumping on santa's lap. I'm a wiggler too and about 4 bills.

I would like to win my fantasy football league and the laker girls.

Thank you Santa!

 

[IhateClowns]

~Jumps into Santa’s lap and kisses him on the cheek~

Okay Santa, since I have been a very good girl this year, and I am not greedy in the least, I am asking for only two things under my tree.

First, I would like a cloning machine. See, there is this amazing man in Motor City who believes he would like my company on a more full-time basis (and who am I to argue…..he is intelligent….wonderful….sexy….and shares my love for 17th century architecture…not to mention that thing he can do with his tongue) and I would like to duplicate myself so that I can leave my clone here to handle things while I ride off on his Gold Wing….

There is also a man in the Windy City that I need to clone….Brilliant and gorgeous and keeps me from going off the deep end more often than not and I need him around me constantly as my tether. He has offered to clone multiples of himself but truth be told, I only need one of him.

Now, the second thing I need is a transporter… there is yet another man in California that has pulled me back from the edge and yanked me out of some dark places more often than I care to mention but there are times when I just need him with me, in the same room, holding me and telling me that tomorrow is going to come and I am still going to be here when it does. Planes and trains just take too long and I am impatient.

Thank you Santa for taking the time to listen….and damn, if you aren’t cute….

~Kisses Santa again and hops off his lap~

Now now dear you claim to have been a good girl this but please realize Santa sees and hears all. I have seen numerous times where although you were very good at what you were doing you were being very naughty. Now because Santa frequently masturbates to avoid frost bite and you ave helped me numerous times I am going to put you on the good list and get you what you want:

First your cloning machine:

http://img641.imageshack.us/img641/7362/cloningconcept.jpg

Didn't think I had one huh? Well I searched and searched for eves but they were all taken up by The Learning Channel and Spike TV for wrestling.

Finally your transporter:

http://img641.imageshack.us/img641/4903/jasonstathambh01.jpg

He is a professional transporter as you miht have seen in the movies The Transporter. He will get you wherever you need to go. He will kill and maim to get you to your final destination. If you want something quicker go see William Shatner as he has the patent on all teleportation, The Prick.

 

[IhateClowns]

Um,,, I think I'll just stand here...

Hey Santa,,, If you could help out Kathi above, you'd probably be doing both of us a favor!!! Oh, and if you have any Austin Martin's laying around...

Be careful flying, fat man!

Thank you for taking it easy on Santa. I bought one for Mrs. Claus just last year. It keeps her feeling young. I have helped Kathi out. Now your turn:

http://img522.imageshack.us/img522/5360/astonmartinvanquish.jpg

Please be aware that owning a car like this will make all the girls come after your bits and pieces. Due to that I am giving you a supply of:

http://img251.imageshack.us/img251/9297/pfizer3.jpg

Now not to say you need it young man but as a just in case.

 

[IhateClowns]

*smiles and shyly sits on Santa's lap*
Santa, Mistress tells me i have been a good girl so i will take her word for it. if you could just wrap me up like a beautiful, festive present with ribbon in all the right places and deliver me to a certain wonderful woman in the U.K. while you are there, i would very much appreciate it.

Thank you Santa!
*slips off Santa's lap to scurry off to find Mistress*

No problem at all dear. I do enjoy the submissive type as I am a submissive myself. Mrs Claus like to be dominate. She lets me out once a year but I have to be back in 24 hours to take care of her needs.

Here you are my dear:

http://img340.imageshack.us/img340/865/giftwrapgirls1.jpg

As much as I enjoyed wrapping this gift up I am sure your Mistress will enjoy unwrapping it....

 

[IhateClowns]

*Walks up to where Santa sits, leans over to flash my cleavage, goes near his ear and whispers...*


Santa, I've been a very very naughty girl this year...what can you do for me instead? There's nothing that I want this year for I already have what I need...

*Stands up straight, spins on my 4" heels and saunters off, hips swinging as I walk away*

Umm welll umm...Hmmm what does Santa want? Santa has been busy taking abuse from Mrs. Clau and thiose fucking elves are getting on my last nerve. I want to be pampered. So here I am ready for you to take care of me:

http://img254.imageshack.us/img254/5707/badsantanaked.jpg

 

[IhateClowns]

Santa? I'm afraid if I sit on your lap I'll catch your cold.

Can I get a lap sitting raincheck for when you feel better?

Of course my dear. Santa appreciates you letting him get over this cold bug. Although I understand that strenuous excercise and lots of fluids are a great way to fight the common cold. Fluids and excercise. Hmmm lots and lots of thoughts running through my cap.

 

[Peaches1990]

Dude! You have far too much time on your hands. Have some Christmas pussy to keep you out of trouble xoxo

http://img1.imagehousing.com/91/a5168e734c2baff48560291959a0caec.jpg

 

[IhateClowns]

Yo Santa.

I'd like more money, more time, less work and a nymphomaniac.

Think you can help a brother out??

Of course I can. I have a machine that prints money in the basement. The elves union is killing me right now. Who woulda thunk that elves had civil rights?

http://img824.imageshack.us/img824/3595/lotsofmoney.jpg

As for the nymphomaniac I got you someone special. She will suck and fuck you whenever and however you want. Just toss her a pack of Marlboro Reds from tiem to time and she will fuck you relentlessly:

http://img832.imageshack.us/img832/5488/bleachblondeleather.jpg

 

[pimpette_f]

*Straddles Santa facing him....shoving his face between her boobs*

Santa....can you please send me a sugar daddy??? I'm so exhausted from working full time AND going to school....it'd be so nice to be able to just once NOT worry about how I'm gonna pay a bill. Yes, I COULD strip and do lap dances like I'm doing for you, but what fun would that be??? I'd tease all day and never get laid! No good! Mama needs sex!!!!

 

[IhateClowns]

*running and jumping on santa's lap. I'm a wiggler too and about 4 bills.

I would like to win my fantasy football league and the laker girls.

Thank you Santa!

Good grief!!!! Give Santa a minute topick his jingle balls up off the floor and catch his breath. So you want to win Adult Dungeons and Dragons otherwise known as Fantasy Football and Paula Abdul huh? Done:

http://img225.imageshack.us/img225/3840/fantasy20football20trop.jpg

and

http://img26.imageshack.us/img26/7738/paulacrying.jpg

 

[IhateClowns]

Dude! You have far too much time on your hands. Have some Christmas pussy to keep you out of trouble xoxo

http://img1.imagehousing.com/91/a5168e734c2baff48560291959a0caec.jpg

Santa has a cold so he is bored out of his mind I am doing my best to stay out of trouble but your pussy is going to get me in trouble rather quickly...