Dating a friends sister.

[icy_cold_beer]

Ok. Ive known this guy since ive been 14(8 years ago). Played sport with him for a couple of years and his dad was the coach. We were good mates. He then moved away and didn't see him for 3 years. I kept playing for the same sports team and he came back and played two seasons. He recently moved out with his new girlfriend and doesn't play anymore.

His 21st was at weekend and I met his sister. I never knew he had a sister at all, never heard anything about her. Anyway we hit it off and talked for about half an hour. Since then we've been talking on facebook and texting each other. I think we're both pretty sweet on each other. Im 22 and she is 19. He doesn't know we've been talking.

How do I go about this? Is it a good idea considering he is a good mate and I get along with his dad pretty well? My intentions are good, im not just after sex. Is it a no-no to date a mates sister? I know a few of my mates are very protective of theirs, I dont have one.

Thanks, your ideas are appreciated.

 

[fireymatt]

Be honest and tell him you have been chatting abit on FB and would he mind if you asked her out.... or put like.... your sister and i were thinking of having some drinks at "X"... we should all go. He will get the hint and likely say ... naaa, go for it.
Its not like he is going to say NO, YOU CANNOT DATE HER.... your adults, its more of a courtesy.

 

[viper2000]

My friend had a massive thing for my sister one day he sat me down and told me he was scared and almost cowered away from me he told me I burst out laughing and said "sure go for it" i laughed because hes very quiet and my sister well isnt. It didnt stress me hes a good guy so i knew if they did get together hed treat her right. I think tell him.

 

[cryforme1v]

i dated my best friends brother for about a year.
We all met when we were around 14 years old. Me and *karen* were best friends, i was even the bridesmaid in her wedding. She asked me to be the godmother of her child and same for her with mine.
We have basically been inseperable since we met, i was even there when her daughter was born.
When i was 23, she told me that her brother liked me, gave me the thumbs up to date him. i asked her a few times in a matter of about 2 months if she was sure it was ok. And she assured me to go ahead, that we would be great for eachother and that he wouldnt hurt me and that our friendship would be in tact.
So i started dating "Jason" and about a month after we started dating she started turning on me, saying i was abandoning our friendship, when i wasnt. I was at her house more often, i was with her family more often and i babysat her daughter more often(which i did not mind).
So basically our friendship fell apart, every time i tried calling her or go to their parents house and she was there - i would always get a cold shoulder from her.
We dated for about a year, we split up when he was deployed because he decided to see another woman. And because i left him, i lost his family as my family, i lost his sister as my best friend. I lost some of the people i held closest to my heart. All because HE cheated on me. I did nothing wrong but to them i'm the worlds biggest bitch because i left him-no matter how good of a reason i had.

My advice - follow your heart. But keep in mind you may lose people closest to you.
I would never put myself in a situation like that again, and if i would have known thats how it was going to turn out - i wouldnt have dated him. Live and learn.

 

[silverwhisper]

icy cold beer: before you say a word to your friend about how you feel, i think it might be a good idea to think back on how you have talked about women you dated with your friend in the past. now mentally substitute his sister's name in those conversations.

if it seems to you that's going to create a problem for him--and this is his younger sister, so a certain amount of protectiveness is inevitable--then you want to be very careful about how you broach the subject.

but if not: tell him, be up front, and do it soon. you want to avoid the impression that you're sneaking around behind his back because that might be a problem, too.

ed

 

[katy21]

You are just adorable. If every man on this planet would treat a woman like you think then it would be a paradise. I think there is nothing wrong if you have good intentions. your friend likes you, his dad likes you and i think his daughter too))). I wish you all best and you just have to ask her out on date and then if you really like her and she likes you just tell that everybody

 

[LaRocha]

Dating someone's little sister is something you'll get harassed about in your circle of friends. I used to try and keep it under wraps, but they always found out and made fun of me forever about it. I can't help it, their little sisters are dimes. On the same note I wouldn't be cool with any of my friends trying to get with my little sisters. When you hear dudes talking about fucking, you don't want them fucking your little sisters. I don't fuck little sisters anymore.

 

[subwannabe]

I don't really understand the younger generation. I guess I'm an old fuddy duddy but why would you talk to someone like this on facebook and texting when you could use your cellphone to actually talk to the person for real? It seems to me like all of this new technology makes it all possible for people to communicate more and more with each other without having to talk to them. Seems kind of impersonal to me.

 

[banes27]

I don't really understand the younger generation. I guess I'm an old fuddy duddy but why would you talk to someone like this on facebook and texting when you could use your cellphone to actually talk to the person for real? It seems to me like all of this new technology makes it all possible for people to communicate more and more with each other without having to talk to them. Seems kind of impersonal to me.

For me there's about 5 reasons why I text and send emails rather than make phone calls.

1) The phone signal in my flat from my mobile is pretty much useless for making or receiving calls but pretty good for sending and receiving texts.

2) Despite having a house phone, it costs more than I can afford to ring mobiles, which the majority of my friends have instead of an actual phone.

3) Emails allow you to send messages to multiple people at once and receive replies in a more orderly way. The same more-or-less applies to texts.

4) The information in a text/email is generally more detailed and concise than that of a phone call, especially when the signal is bad or you have to be quick due to lack of money. Texts are also stored meaning if you forget what someone said, you can just go through your inbox instead of having to phone them. Granted you could take notes on paper but remember the bad signal limited money point.

5) A lot of mobile phone companies, at least in the UK, offer deals like 300 free texts for £10 top-up. For me, that's actually a good deal since I will generally send around 400 texts a month, meaning 3/4s of them are free while phone calls would cost considerably more.

So, in general, limited amounts of money, irregularity in signal strength and relative amounts of detail in information and information storage are the major reasons why email and text are apparently more common than phoning on mobiles.

Another aspect might simply be that we spend more time near computers and as a result the first mode of communication we think of is the written word. It's no different, in essence, to sending someone a letter, it just gets there quicker. We might have phones but in our minds they might not be perceived as the first option.

 

[Mr_Goldielocks]

whatever the reaction, remember that it's most probably a first shock but soon as he gets used to the idea it will make sense for everyone.