Dear Sprinkles ....
- Thread starter Sprinkles22
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Sprinkles22
Angel with a Crooked Halo
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*I'm scared to think about that .....*20smoke said:you hafta 'know'the girl behind the counter...
Sprinkles22
Angel with a Crooked Halo
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Coconut Rum happens to be a weakness of mine ..... it's so smooth you don't realize how much you've had to drink until it's too late20smoke said:
techsan
...just chugging along
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too late for what? Sweetness, its NEVER too late! You can always just lay there and let ... oh! OH! That's NOT what you meant, is it?Sprinkles22 said:Coconut Rum happens to be a weakness of mine ..... it's so smooth you don't realize how much you've had to drink until it's too late
Sprinkles22
Angel with a Crooked Halo
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You don't get my straw and you'll be making another trip back to Starbucks!!!! Just ask 20 about it!!techsan said:
Sprinkles22
Angel with a Crooked Halo
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Trust me .... it can be too late .... cuz I'm unconscious by that point!techsan said:
Sprinkles22
Angel with a Crooked Halo
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But what about Angelina??? She's so much prettier and has so much more class .....20smoke said:now if Tara Reid was the girl behind the counter.... that would be my weakness
Sprinkles22
Angel with a Crooked Halo
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I am a demanding little bitch, ain't I??? *LOL*techsan said:
You know you love me anyway
Sprinkles22
Angel with a Crooked Halo
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AWwwwwwwwwww............*deep blush*techsan said:
Your secret is safe with me
Sprinkles22
Angel with a Crooked Halo
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OMG...not you too? You're not upset about the Brangelina baby thing are you???20smoke said:
techsan
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Dear Sprinkles:
A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk, they connect, and then end up leaving together. They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that his bedroom is completely packed with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears.
There are three shelves in the bedroom, with hundreds and hundreds of cute, cuddly teddy bears, carefully placed in rows covering the entire wall! It was obvious that he had taken quite some time to lovingly arrange them and she was immediately touched by the amount of thought he had put into organizing the display.
There were small bears all along the bottom shelf, medium-sized bears covering the length of the middle shelf, and huge, enormous bears running all the way along the top shelf. She found it strange for a guy to have such a large a collection of Teddy Bears, especially one that's so extensive, but doesn't mention this to him, and actually is quite impressed by his sensitive side, all the while thinking to herself, "Oh my God! Maybe, this guy could be the one! Maybe he could be the future father my children?"
She turns to him They kiss and then they rip each other's clothes off and make hot steamy love. After an intense, explosive night of raw passion with this sensitive guy, they are lying there together in the afterglow.
The woman rolls over, gently strokes his chest and asks coyly, "Well, how was it?"
The guy says: "Help yourself to any prize from the middle shelf."
Do you think he will get lucky with her again?
Curious in Corpus Christi
A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk, they connect, and then end up leaving together. They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that his bedroom is completely packed with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears.
There are three shelves in the bedroom, with hundreds and hundreds of cute, cuddly teddy bears, carefully placed in rows covering the entire wall! It was obvious that he had taken quite some time to lovingly arrange them and she was immediately touched by the amount of thought he had put into organizing the display.
There were small bears all along the bottom shelf, medium-sized bears covering the length of the middle shelf, and huge, enormous bears running all the way along the top shelf. She found it strange for a guy to have such a large a collection of Teddy Bears, especially one that's so extensive, but doesn't mention this to him, and actually is quite impressed by his sensitive side, all the while thinking to herself, "Oh my God! Maybe, this guy could be the one! Maybe he could be the future father my children?"
She turns to him They kiss and then they rip each other's clothes off and make hot steamy love. After an intense, explosive night of raw passion with this sensitive guy, they are lying there together in the afterglow.
The woman rolls over, gently strokes his chest and asks coyly, "Well, how was it?"
The guy says: "Help yourself to any prize from the middle shelf."
Do you think he will get lucky with her again?
Curious in Corpus Christi
Sprinkles22
Angel with a Crooked Halo
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Oh My Lord!techsan said:
It's a wonder he didn't get a knee in his balls for that!!! That's the least that I would have done....*lol*
techsan
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Dear Sprinkles:Sprinkles22 said:Oh My Lord!
but that wouldn't have been a very "sporting thing" to do, would it? I mean, messing with his "equpment" like that? After all, it does seem like she made an assumption about his "carny evil" act and "barker'ed" up the wrong tree, so to speak, sort of "spreading her limbs" under the "spreading chestnut tree." So how can you blame him for taking advantage of the "de lights" of "de lovely lady?"
Horrified in Houston
techsan
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Dear Sprinkles:
Yes, dear heart, it's that magical time of the year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us. Here then, are the glorious winners for 2005:
1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked
..... And now, the honorable mentions:
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its me n to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger.
The chef's claim was approved.
3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space.
Understandably, he shot her.
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies.
The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer... $15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)
7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store.
The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."
9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away. A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER!
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
In the interest of bettering human kind, please share these with your friends and family... unless of course one of these 10 individuals by chance is a distant relative or long lost friend. In that case, be glad they are distant and hope they remain lost.
My question is: do you think some of us might need more evolution than others?
Questioning in Quebec
Yes, dear heart, it's that magical time of the year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us. Here then, are the glorious winners for 2005:
1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked
..... And now, the honorable mentions:
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its me n to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger.
The chef's claim was approved.
3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space.
Understandably, he shot her.
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies.
The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer... $15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)
7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store.
The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."
9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away. A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER!
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
In the interest of bettering human kind, please share these with your friends and family... unless of course one of these 10 individuals by chance is a distant relative or long lost friend. In that case, be glad they are distant and hope they remain lost.
My question is: do you think some of us might need more evolution than others?
Questioning in Quebec
Sprinkles22
Angel with a Crooked Halo
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*waves* G'morning fellow playmates! (hmm...that makes it sound like we all live at Hef's mansion *giggle*)
Sprinkles22
Angel with a Crooked Halo
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OH, Techie .... as always you have made me smile.
You are so good with humor, you should open your own thread ..... we all need laughs and it would be a wonderful way for you to make people smile ..... your vernacular has always impressed me. You have a quick wit and sarcastic sense of humor. Both qualities I find very appealing.
You are so good with humor, you should open your own thread ..... we all need laughs and it would be a wonderful way for you to make people smile ..... your vernacular has always impressed me. You have a quick wit and sarcastic sense of humor. Both qualities I find very appealing.
Machiavellix
Return of the Mach
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One Darwin Award winner actually grew up in the city next to mine.
His story was that he was supposed to get the electric chair, but was given a pardon at the last second.
The very next day he was trying to fix the television set in his cell while sitting on an metal toilet. You do the math.
His story was that he was supposed to get the electric chair, but was given a pardon at the last second.
The very next day he was trying to fix the television set in his cell while sitting on an metal toilet. You do the math.
