Dear X

[Emerson40]

Dear iTunes Version 11

You suck.

~ Me

Dear Apple,

Thanks for taking away features that I use, like dragging a dropping music from my music library into playlists instead of using some fucking popup feature.

I had to revert back to Version 10. And will never update again. This only took an hour or two off my life.

~ Me

Dear Software Engineers

Before you implement something that you think is really cool or delete something that is really lame....FUCKING FIGURE OUT IF IT IS ACTUALLY REALLY COOL OR REALLY FUCKING LAME. FUCKTARDS.

~ A former developer

Dear B3,

I would like to sign this too!

Put me down on the petition as well.

Add a note on there about the latest shite update for iPad / iPhone that has caused problems with network connectivity due to some pinging nonsense to a website no longer running....

Apple, Apple, Apple. You have forgotten yourself.

 

[BradBigBrain]

Put me down on the petition as well.

Add a note on there about the latest shite update for iPad / iPhone that has caused problems with network connectivity due to some pinging nonsense to a website no longer running....

Apple, Apple, Apple. You have forgotten yourself.

They're following the M$FT model of issuing software before it's ready so that the users can be the beta testers.

And I don't care what they claim, they never figured out the hand blocking the antenna bug on the iPhone.

 

[Emerson40]

They're following the M$FT model of issuing software before it's ready so that the users can be the beta testers.

Exactly. I won't even look at a new OS, programs, or updates from MS until version 3.0.

It looks as though I will have to start applying this practice to all things Apple.

 

[Emerson40]

What NOT to F'ing Buy my Kids This Holiday

My wife received a link to this from a friend. I thought it share-worthy.


Dear Grammy, Grampy, Nana and Pop Pop,

Ahhh, yes, here we go again. The most wonderful time of the year. For you. For me it’s more like let’s see how much more crap I can fit in my house until TLC comes knocking at my door because they think I’m an F’ing hoarder. I know that you guys are about to jiz (giz???) in your pants you’re so excited about all the shit you can buy for your grandkids this holiday, but not so fast. Before you whip out your Amex/Target/Mastercards, check out this little list of “guidelines” I’ve made for you this year. The following is a list of presents NOT to buy my kids this holiday.

1. Anything alive. Because you know what happens to things that are alive? They die. And you know what sucks? Explaining to my kid why Fluffer Nutter the hamster is as hard as a rock and stuck in his tube. And you know what sucks even worse? Fucker Nutter living a healthy life for years and years to come. Because guess who has to clean his E coli-infested poop cage. Yours fucking truly. As if wiping two asses besides my own isn’t enough already.

2. Stocking stuffers. Or as I like to call them, cheap pieces of shit. I get enough crappy stocking stuffers year-round for free. They’re called McDonald’s Happy Meal toys. Would you like fries with that? And how about a plastic piece of crap that was made in China and causes cancer.

3. Any toy that hurts when I accidentally step on it with bare feet. I don’t care if the ER doctor is George fucking Clooney. Getting a bristle block surgically removed from my heel is not worth it.


4. Any toy without an off button. And you know what, I’m going a step further and saying any toy with an off button that doesn’t turn off IMMEDIATELY when you push it. You know the crap I’m talking about. You push the off button and it keeps on yapping, “Woof, woof! Thanks for playing! I’ll see you again later!” I pushed off. If I wanted you to keep talking I would have pushed the dissertation button. It’s like when you’re on the phone and you tell someone you have to go and they say okay but then proceed to ask you a thousand questions.

5. Any toy that requires me to play it with them. Toys are how I keep my kids busy while I’m trying to get important things done around the house. Like the laundry, and the dishes, and waxing my mustache, and pooping.


6. Barbie dolls. I know I’m supposed to be against them because they give my daughter a false sense of a woman’s body shape, but that’s not what I’m worried about. My kid has no sense of negative self-image yet. If she did, she wouldn’t be doing naked downward dog every night while I’m trying to get her into a pull-up. Nope, I’ll tell you who doesn’t need to see hourglass Barbie bitches everywhere. Me. If I want to feel like shit about my body I just look in my full-length mirror. I don’t need a nine-inch plastic doll to make me feel like a hippopotomus hippapotamus (how the fuck do you spell this word?!) hippo.

7. This toy.

http://www.chicagonow.com/baby-sideburns/files/2012/11/OwlPukeToy-175x250.jpg

Just in case this catalog came to your house too, don’t you dare buy this. I know it looks original and all, but I’ll bet this is the kind of shit Jeffrey Dahmer got when he was a kid. I can already picture it. First my kid will be playing with this, and before you know it she’ll be playing with the neighbor's cat carcass, and then one day the police will show up to take what I thought was leftover meatballs out of my garage freezer but really it’s our babysitter’s head.

8. And speaking of carcasses, stuffed animals. To say we don’t need anymore is the understatement of the year. You know that game where there are a million stuffed animals in a big glass box and you have to steer the claw to try to pluck one out? Sometimes I feel like I live in that. One day I fully expect the claw to drop down through our skylight.

9. Talking dolls. For one, they creep me the shit out. The way they talk without their lips moving like ventriloquists. Freaky. And here’s another reason I can’t stand them. Do you know what talking dolls say? Shit like, “Mommy, feed me,” and “I wet myself Mommy. Time for a diaper change!” This is the kind of crap I already hear like 40 times an hour from my own kids, so why in God’s name would I want to hear more of that?

10. Horns, drums, cymbals, pianos, microphones, guitars, maracas, tambourines, bells, whistles, mp3 players, karaoke machines, sirens, rattles, buzzers, alarms, toys that beep, buzz, or have one of those annoying ladies who sings like she’s all serious and shit like my middle school guitar-wielding music teacher.

That’s it. Good luck out there! You’re gonna fucking need it.

Love and kisses,

Because I’m The Mom


SOURCE

 

[someoneyouknow]

Dear local tv station,

It's not just you who has this problem, but tonight's was one of those, "WTF?" situations. Does the software package you use to generate those nifty bars with the words telling us what story you're talking about not have a spellcheck? Renevations? Really?

It's bad enough I have seen "your" used in place of "you're" in our local paper, as well as just plain flubs of wording from some of your competitors, but seriously, renevations.

Let me guess. You had an intern doing the work so they could gain experience before they graduate. Here's a tip for said intern: LEARN TO SPELL! I realize this isn't a huge market, tv-wise, but it says a lot about your ability to pay attention to detail, something I'm sure the job description mentioned, if you can't be bothered to verify the spelling of a word.

The only reason I watch your station is for the semi-cute blonde whose hair always gets in the way whenever there is the slightest breeze. I can assure you, it's not for your every-five-minute weather reports.

Dictionary Litster

 

[Pinktacokitty]

Dear peeps in front of me at the red light.......

When it turns green it means GO, not wait 20 seconds then go.

Signed.....Left home b4 day light this morning, hoping to get home b4 dark this evening.....



Dear peeps with kids at the grocery store......

The fucking self check out is not a video game for your kids to play..........

Signed.....Left home b4 day light this morning, hoping to get home b4 dark this evening.....

 

[hairball18]

Dear peeps in front of me at the red light.......

When it turns green it means GO, not wait 20 seconds then go.

Signed.....Left home b4 dark this morning, hoping to get home b4 dark this evening.....



Dear peeps with kids at the grocery store......

The fucking self check out is not a video game for your kids to play..........

Signed.....Left home b4 dark this morning, hoping to get home b4 dark this evening.....

can you blame the guy in front of you, he took one look at you and he was smitten

 

[Thomasoir]

Dear Other Drivers

When going up hill you need to depress the accelerator pedal in order to maintain your speed.

Thanks,

Me.

 

[NymphMyosotis]

Dear you. Spending time with you is out of this world. I was not expecting this at all. Stop thanking me for allowing you to be with me. It is I who should be thanking you. Your generosity takes my breath away.

 

[Edensgarden]

Dear X,

Did you take a peek at that porn link I sent?

Just curious about your kinks...

Signed,

Maybe A Pic Would've Been Better?

 

[kendra1980]

llllllllllllllllllllll

 

[sunshinegirl05]

Dear X,

You talk about respect like it's something I never give you. First off, to have someone's respect, you need to earn it. What have you done to earn or keep what respect I did have for you? If you think that being a class A jackass and lying to me, being a bully, and having the attitude that you have is what should earn you my respect, you're completely wrong.

I do not just give respect to anyone. I give it to those that are actually decent human beings.

When it comes to the kids, I do try to back you on your decisions. I also let you know when something is not acceptable. It's my job as a parent to protect my kids. If you think about things.....I do back you. I do enforce things you have said. You do not do the same with/for me.

So if you want to talk about respect and who's not giving who it.....look in the mirror. I already know that you will never see me as someone who might know something.

Signed,

Annoyed with you.

Dear Kids,

I know it was meant as a joke about how you could take care of yourselves better than I take care of you......but really?

Signed,

your mom...who needs to get thicker skin.

 

[lakesailer_mi]

Dear Customer,

No, seriously, you asked for X...I have the emails. I gave it to you. Then you said, well, maybe what I really wanted was Y. So, we redid it and gave it to you again. Now you've come back and said...hmmmm...perhaps Z...
OK, this is definitely it though. And beleive me, next time (and I know there will be one), you will find that I'm so easy on the contract, and the price. I guarantee you will pay for this on the next contract.

Make up your fucking mind.

Signed.

How can I know what you want if you don't know what you want.

 

[~Elizabeth~]

Dear X...Why don't you grow some freaking balls and express how you are really feeling to both of them instead of slinking off like YOU did something wrong.







non lit related

 

[BradBigBrain]

Dear Customer,

No, seriously, you asked for X...I have the emails. I gave it to you. Then you said, well, maybe what I really wanted was Y. So, we redid it and gave it to you again. Now you've come back and said...hmmmm...perhaps Z...
OK, this is definitely it though. And beleive me, next time (and I know there will be one), you will find that I'm so easy on the contract, and the price. I guarantee you will pay for this on the next contract.

Make up your fucking mind.

Signed.

How can I know what you want if you don't know what you want.

I call this a "Bring me a rock" problem.

 

[fungatorgurl101]

Dear X,

You talk about respect like it's something I never give you. First off, to have someone's respect, you need to earn it. What have you done to earn or keep what respect I did have for you? If you think that being a class A jackass and lying to me, being a bully, and having the attitude that you have is what should earn you my respect, you're completely wrong.

I do not just give respect to anyone. I give it to those that are actually decent human beings.

When it comes to the kids, I do try to back you on your decisions. I also let you know when something is not acceptable. It's my job as a parent to protect my kids. If you think about things.....I do back you. I do enforce things you have said. You do not do the same with/for me.

So if you want to talk about respect and who's not giving who it.....look in the mirror. I already know that you will never see me as someone who might know something.

Signed,

Annoyed with you.

Dear Kids,

I know it was meant as a joke about how you could take care of yourselves better than I take care of you......but really?

Signed,

your mom...who needs to get thicker skin.

Dear Sunshiney Friend -

You are a fantastic mother and you are doing your best otherwise!! BIG Hugs cause you deserve them. I got that flip flop you needed heading your way

Me

 

[lakesailer_mi]

I call this a "Bring me a rock" problem.

LMAO...I see just what you mean.

 

[BradBigBrain]

Dear Sunshiney Friend -

You are a fantastic mother and you are doing your best otherwise!! BIG Hugs cause you deserve them. I got that flip flop you needed heading your way

Me

This is the troof.

LMAO...I see just what you mean.

Me = Systems Engineer/ Requirements specialist.

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear 2012,

What a year huh? You started off halfway decent and have ended with a bang. I am taking a break from EVERYTHING until 2013. Maybe a a date change will make all the difference in the world.

I suppose I should be thrilled to have both of my kidneys working, but honestly the cost of everything had handicapped my wife and I so much that we are unsure how we are going to manage.

To top it off I was let go of my job last week. So not only did I have kidney failure, my car broken into having all of my important belongings stolen, but to put a cherry on the shit sundae I was let go of a very good job that paid me pretty damn well.

I am unsure what could possibly be next. Maybe I didn't fully appreciate the good times. Maybe i took them for granted, who knows. I just kno that I am barely hanging on to life itself after what has happened to me and my wife over the past year.

I am not looking for sympathy and I know this post makes a lot of folks on here happy to read, because they get off on other people's misery, but fuck I am at my wits end. We are going to lose our car if I don't come up with $500 by the 1st. We owe over $150,000 in medical bills for not only myself but another family member who is no longer with us. For fucks sake we just need a break.

I start work at mcDonalds tomorrow. Why? Because I have never been the type to take handouts. I would rather work 6 jobs than go on unemployment. I just can't sit around and wallow in my own self pity, instead I will humbly ask each and every person if they want to supersize their meal. It is what it is and I will just ave to deal with as best I can until I can say yes to a job that will allow me to utilize my skill set that I have developed over the past 13 years.

Anyway, I am done crying. You can wipe the smile off your faces, I honestly don't care what you think, I just needed a place to vent my frustration with a situation that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

Signed,

Is it worth it anymore?

 

[Pinktacokitty]

Dear 2012,

What a year huh? You started off halfway decent and have ended with a bang. I am taking a break from EVERYTHING until 2013. Maybe a a date change will make all the difference in the world.

I suppose I should be thrilled to have both of my kidneys working, but honestly the cost of everything had handicapped my wife and I so much that we are unsure how we are going to manage.

To top it off I was let go of my job last week. So not only did I have kidney failure, my car broken into having all of my important belongings stolen, but to put a cherry on the shit sundae I was let go of a very good job that paid me pretty damn well.

I am unsure what could possibly be next. Maybe I didn't fully appreciate the good times. Maybe i took them for granted, who knows. I just kno that I am barely hanging on to life itself after what has happened to me and my wife over the past year.

I am not looking for sympathy and I know this post makes a lot of folks on here happy to read, because they get off on other people's misery, but fuck I am at my wits end. We are going to lose our car if I don't come up with $500 by the 1st. We owe over $150,000 in medical bills for not only myself but another family member who is no longer with us. For fucks sake we just need a break.

I start work at mcDonalds tomorrow. Why? Because I have never been the type to take handouts. I would rather work 6 jobs than go on unemployment. I just can't sit around and wallow in my own self pity, instead I will humbly ask each and every person if they want to supersize their meal. It is what it is and I will just ave to deal with as best I can until I can say yes to a job that will allow me to utilize my skill set that I have developed over the past 13 years.

Anyway, I am done crying. You can wipe the smile off your faces, I honestly don't care what you think, I just needed a place to vent my frustration with a situation that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

Signed,

Is it worth it anymore?

Dear Is it worth it anymore......

The short answer is yes.......the long answer is you and wiffie have each other and now your good health......

Yes your character is being tested and yes you have a lot of character and will pull through this......One day at a time........and my thoughts and prayers will be with you!!!!!!!!! If I could I would snap my fingers for you and all would be ok now.....

Signed, you will be in my thoughts and prayers.....

 

[newbiebabe]

Dear Is it worth it anymore......

The short answer is yes.......the long answer is you and wiffie have each other and now your good health......

Yes your character is being tested and yes you have a lot of character and will pull through this......One day at a time........and my thoughts and prayers will be with you!!!!!!!!! If I could I would snap my fingers for you and all would be ok now.....

Signed, you will be in my thoughts and prayers.....

Very well said.. and many of us join in on these sentiments.

Hang in there IHC...

 

[kendra1980]

...........

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear above me and to those that messaged me,


Thanks. Yes we are going through a significantly difficult time but we will survive. Sorry for the dramatic post. Just exhausted, frustrated, and scared.

Thanks again,

Rob

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Tool,

See what happens with you complain about the happenings that are going on in your own life? Tragedy like the shootings in Conneticut happen causing you to top in your tracks and realize that although life can kick you in the balls pretty hard, there are those that are going through a soooo much more than I ever will.

Sure there is a similiarity with a portion of what happened today and stuff that has happened in my life, but I cannot imagine the parents of those poor kids that were brutally massacred and what they are going through at this point. At least I got the opportunity to say goodbye, they never got that chance.

Not only for the parents who lost their poor child, but those parents who now have to deal with trying to help their kids understand something that we as adults have no clue why it happened. It certainly has made me question my own faith even more than I already have been.

I am not trying to say i can relate to the victims of what happened today. I am just saying that what I am going through isn't worth all of the pain and anguish that I have put myself through dealing with all the losses I have had over the past 12 months. Sure it isn't fair but I wouldn't wish it on anyone else and I sure as hell don't think fair is a part of life. You just play with the cards that are dealt to you.

So I need to quit wallowing in the sea of bullshit and pick myself up, dust myself off and figure out a way to save our car. I have interviews lined up already. I need to focus on those and make sure I put my best foot forward so that they beg me to go to work for them.

There are so many people that are so much more worse off than I am. I need to shake myself and realize that. Now is the time to do just that. It is sad that a tragedy such as today is what it takes for me to realize how lucky I am, but that is just what it took.

I hope that the families lean on each other during this terrible time. It is alright to question why but I doubt we will ever get the answer. Such a terrible sad day for so many. Tomorrow I will make it a point to help someone else out. Not sure with what, but I will make sure I help out in some form or fashion. Quict wallowing. Quit crying and for fuck sake just think positive and make a difference.

Signed,

Fucking sad day but time to make some good out of it.

 

[PutMeInCoach12]

Dear Tool,

See what happens with you complain about the happenings that are going on in your own life? Tragedy like the shootings in Conneticut happen causing you to top in your tracks and realize that although life can kick you in the balls pretty hard, there are those that are going through a soooo much more than I ever will.

Sure there is a similiarity with a portion of what happened today and stuff that has happened in my life, but I cannot imagine the parents of those poor kids that were brutally massacred and what they are going through at this point. At least I got the opportunity to say goodbye, they never got that chance.

Not only for the parents who lost their poor child, but those parents who now have to deal with trying to help their kids understand something that we as adults have no clue why it happened. It certainly has made me question my own faith even more than I already have been.

I am not trying to say i can relate to the victims of what happened today. I am just saying that what I am going through isn't worth all of the pain and anguish that I have put myself through dealing with all the losses I have had over the past 12 months. Sure it isn't fair but I wouldn't wish it on anyone else and I sure as hell don't think fair is a part of life. You just play with the cards that are dealt to you.

So I need to quit wallowing in the sea of bullshit and pick myself up, dust myself off and figure out a way to save our car. I have interviews lined up already. I need to focus on those and make sure I put my best foot forward so that they beg me to go to work for them.

There are so many people that are so much more worse off than I am. I need to shake myself and realize that. Now is the time to do just that. It is sad that a tragedy such as today is what it takes for me to realize how lucky I am, but that is just what it took.

I hope that the families lean on each other during this terrible time. It is alright to question why but I doubt we will ever get the answer. Such a terrible sad day for so many. Tomorrow I will make it a point to help someone else out. Not sure with what, but I will make sure I help out in some form or fashion. Quict wallowing. Quit crying and for fuck sake just think positive and make a difference.

Signed,

Fucking sad day but time to make some good out of it.

((Hugs))