Depression. It's a silent killer.

[Crankbait88]

Interestingly enough, this current bout of feeling down has come with a a high level of hypersexual feeling.

In gutter terms, I'm crazy horny and aroused and that is not typical when I hit a down period.

 

[Wetkitty09]

Interestingly enough, this current bout of feeling down has come with a a high level of hypersexual feeling.

In gutter terms, I'm crazy horny and aroused and that is not typical when I hit a down period.

I’ve noticed an up tick in libido also. I haven’t felt any interest since November. I think it’s the spring season. The energy is rising with the longer days.

 

[calmlikeabomb]

A cousin in his mid 40s passed away recently due to heart issues. Depression due to controlling parents, an unhappy and forced arranged marriage and feeling like he didn't live up to expectations drove him to drinking, and that in turn took his heart.

I've struggles with anxiety and depression myself, but seeking professional help, support from friends and channeling my darkness into my creative side has really helped. I don't think I feel joy or happiness anymore, but I've found a healthy solace in the warmth of satisfaction and helping others.

 

[Bassytian]

A cousin in his mid 40s passed away recently due to heart issues. Depression due to controlling parents, an unhappy and forced arranged marriage and feeling like he didn't live up to expectations drove him to drinking, and that in turn took his heart.

I’m sorry to hear that, my family and I went through a similar situation a month ago tomorrow. I always knew a death of that nature was hard, but I had no idea…

I haven’t posted on here in a while, been busy trying to write two chapters at once. One was posted today and the other will be tomorrow.

Other than allergies acting up (I hate Spring and Fall for that), I’m alright. I’ve been kind of up and down with depression, anxiety has made its return as well. It’s strange how I feel so lonely when I’m around people at work but the feeling disappears when I’m at home by myself.

 

[Wetkitty09]

I’ve been banging my head against the lack of inclusion. It doesn’t really affect me directly but I feel the anxiety of those around me that it does affect. Seeing how the snub, especially From family, confuses and hurts those I hold most dear is frustrating.
People suck. All the more reason to choose those in your life wisely.

Be safe out there.
Love you

 

[Bassytian]

I’ve been banging my head against the lack of inclusion. It doesn’t really affect me directly but I feel the anxiety of those around me that it does affect. Seeing how the snub, especially From family, confuses and hurts those I hold most dear is frustrating.
People suck. All the more reason to choose those in your life wisely.

Be safe out there.
Love you

I personally don’t know who I can trust anymore, so I barely try. I know I shouldn’t become a complete hermit like I want to, but people make it enticing.

I’ve always dealt with issues with inclusion. I’m a neurodivergent, which isn’t one of the things people think about when inclusion comes up, but it’s been enough for me to be left out of groups, jobs, promotions, I could go on.

I know we don’t struggle with quite the same problems, inclusion just needs a lot of work across the board.

 

[CuriousInAR78]

Hey all I hope y'all are having an awesome day. Me on the other hand I have been in my head all day over something I know I have no control over but due to shit from the past it is really messing with me. If I wouldn't be at work I would probably break my hand on something from punching it

 

[ADIDAS00]

I would like to chat about a big problem that not too many people discuss. Sorry to be a downer. But there are too many people out there who are dying because they are depressed. I suffer from depression (not sure why) but I wouldn't think of killing myself. I've always been told that is a perminant solution to a temporary problem. I think it would do a good service to discuss what has worked for you to overcome your depression or what has helped someone you know.

I had really bad depression and anxiety in my thirties. It turns out that the rest of my family has the same problem about the same age (mother, father, brothers). I struggled for years and then I got on testosterone replacement therapy and it literally changed my life. I haven’t been depressed since I started it. Crazy how it worked like a miracle for me. I think more people should try it and see. Worst case, it doesn’t work and you try something else. It’s also natural which I like. I’m just putting something in my body that my body already creates. Not some chemical or pill. Hope this helps someone!!

 

[ADIDAS00]

I had really bad depression and anxiety in my thirties. It turns out that the rest of my family has the same problem about the same age (mother, father, brothers). I struggled for years and then I got on testosterone replacement therapy and it literally changed my life. I haven’t been depressed since I started it. Crazy how it worked like a miracle for me. I think more people should try it and see. Worst case, it doesn’t work and you try something else. It’s also natural which I like. I’m just putting something in my body that my body already creates. Not some chemical or pill. Hope this helps someone!!

Also, Ive been on testosterone therapy for about a decade now and haven’t been depressed since I started.

 

[razor33a]

I had really bad depression and anxiety in my thirties. It turns out that the rest of my family has the same problem about the same age (mother, father, brothers). I struggled for years and then I got on testosterone replacement therapy and it literally changed my life. I haven’t been depressed since I started it. Crazy how it worked like a miracle for me. I think more people should try it and see. Worst case, it doesn’t work and you try something else. It’s also natural which I like. I’m just putting something in my body that my body already creates. Not some chemical or pill. Hope this helps someone!!

I'm on month 7 and don't see a significant change. Eventually I'll try ketamine.

 

[Bassytian]

I have considered testosterone replacement therapy, I can see how it could be effective. I had mine checked a few months ago due to a complete loss of libido, the doc said my T-levels were “well within normal” and didn’t recommend it. Not saying I couldn’t benefit from it, but my doctor has proven himself trustworthy.

Quite frankly, I don’t miss my libido when it’s gone. It comes and goes, I’m more productive without it. Being horny distracts me from the things I really want/need to do and reminds me that no one has ever wanted to be horny with me, which worsens the depression. I just want something to help me feel better about myself. I don’t trust anti-depressants, every one I have been on drove me crazy and some even made me suicidal.

 

[Wetkitty09]

What a chaotic time in my household right now.
A dying grandfather, a drunken baby mama, a member moving back home.

I’m going to hide in my room for a little while.

Be safe out there
Love you

 

[Wetkitty09]

I am at another crossroads in my life. The anxiety over my future is getting to me. I am well aware that my living situation is a direct result of some of the choices I’ve made in my life and I’m ok with that. I made the best choice I could make with the information that I had at the time.

Be safe out there.
Love you.

 

[Wetkitty09]

I hope everyone has the best day you can.
For me this holiday is a nonstarter. I’m not Christian though I have dabbled in it a small amount and banged my head against it a lot.
Be safe out there.
Love you.

 

[Rocky_Balboa]

I registered on literotica to make a personals ad, but it became more about responding in this thread.

I've watched people I love die, lost all of my kids very recently (my dear wife took them when she bailed on our marriage), don't have a car or job (kinda need one for the other), borderline evicted with no real food in the house, and this all shows no signs of a light at the end of the tunnel (that isn't a freight train comin' my way).

I could go on and on, but with varying levels of depression throughout my so-called life, I've never known it to this degree, and how long it's relentlessly been. It's gotten to the point where I can't even function on a daily basis anymore.
Plus, I'm almost out of weed, which is honestly, truly how I get through the day and get any kind of sleep at night.

I don't even workout anymore, due to lack of motivation and the lack of food (nutrients/energy), which I have done my whole life. I used to be a 296 lbs with a 32" waist bodybuilder. Now I'd have to stand on a really high ladder, just to come close to being half the man I used to be.

Masturbation is about the highlight of my days.

Helpless and hopeless. Sadly, just like SO MANY others. Seems I'm not alone in being alone. A hundred billion castaways, looking for a home.

There. That's the basics, but there's so much more.
Now to try and make some kind of personals ad, to try and find someone, so I can stop trying to feel as alone as I actually am.
Cuz I'm quite the catch these days... Hahaha, lol.

 

[Wonderer67]

I haven’t stopped in in a while, but I often post flower, plant and nature pictures. They really help me.

Hope they help you too.

Be good to yourselves…

Tulips yesterday…

https://imgur.com/a/hSbYjOx

And today…

https://imgur.com/a/v7XYLRq

 

[Rocky_Balboa]

Thanks. It's nice when someone shows a kindness.
They're pretty.

 

[Not_Secretly]

Fought depression for more than 25 years. I also have treatment resistant depression which means the usual medicines do not help me. I finally found a treatment clinic that did nasal ketamine therapy. Relief after so long was amazing and life changing.

Clinical depression is insidious, your own mind lies to you constantly. You don't just cheer up and get over it, but fight a daily battle just to function as feelings of failure and worthlessness are always pulling at you. I wouldn't wish this on anybody.

 

[Rocky_Balboa]

Depression truly is insidious and evil, but sometimes the mind's lies aren't the problem.
The truths and realities are.

I really have been a fighter my whole life, but battles with depression are overwhemingly unwinnable. At least in my world.

 

[Bloodandglitter]

I recently switched from Wellbutrin to Paxil since the Wellbutrin wasn't working anymore and I can already see change for the better. Let's hope that good feeling stays.

 

[Rocky_Balboa]

That's great, I hope it works much better for you. If it makes this one life better, or at least less bad, that's awesome.

 

[Not_Secretly]

I recently switched from Wellbutrin to Paxil since the Wellbutrin wasn't working anymore and I can already see change for the better. Let's hope that good feeling stays.

Hope it works for you. Nothing worse than when a medication stops working. Been through that cycle too many times.

 

[Bloodandglitter]

Hope it works for you. Nothing worse than when a medication stops working. Been through that cycle too many times.

Thank you! I have that same issue quite a bit thru the years

 

[Bassytian]

This weekend, I have been struggling with a bout of the most crippling loneliness I have felt in years. It’s such a paradox, I’m a very solitary person and require several hours of alone time every day, and yet I’m profoundly lonely.

And it’s not like being around people and trying to form connections helps, in fact it has the opposite effect, trying to connect with people makes me feel even more disconnected. I don’t think I belong in this world, so the question is “where the hell do I belong?”

As hard as I work to fight this, every step forward means four back. I’m a complete mess…

 

[Rocky_Balboa]

I have more become a solitary person, but only due to me marrying about the "wrongest" person I could have, just because I (ironically) can't be alone. I'd like to think I learned a dire consequences lesson from that, but it provided my beloved children... only to find out they were to develop into her genetic predisposition towards selfishness and apathy.
Leaving me to become the wreckage of a broken-hearted, wretched wreck. Yay for me.

"I don’t think I belong in this world, so the question is “where the hell do I belong?”"
What a spectacular question. I wrestle with the same.

While it wouldn't be a complete panacea, just finding a relationship I could truly be a part of, have a connection with... would fix a massive amount of wrong in my life.
It's so simple, yet so evilly unobtainable. Especially the older you get, and the more broken you become.