Desire Essentials

[Garnate]

You're one year older now. I remember our eEngagement like it was yesterday. Or did we get eMarried? I guess I can't remember it very well. But it happened! It was probably the greatest moment of my life. I dunno, I can't remember. But you've been an amazing efiance or ehusband, depending on how far we took it (goddamn my memory!) and I couldn't be happier. I think.

Anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the greatest fake whatever-you've-been to me. I hope it's an amazing one!

(I'm going by England time because I care and can do math when it's small numbers)

 

[lovetoread]

Happy Birthday, even if UK time is so weird.

 

[DesEsseintes]

You're one year older now. I remember our eEngagement like it was yesterday. Or did we get eMarried? I guess I can't remember it very well. But it happened! It was probably the greatest moment of my life. I dunno, I can't remember. But you've been an amazing efiance or ehusband, depending on how far we took it (goddamn my memory!) and I couldn't be happier. I think.

Anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the greatest fake whatever-you've-been to me. I hope it's an amazing one!

(I'm going by England time because I care and can do math when it's small numbers)

You are the best e-fiancee I've ever had (still waiting on the Lit wedding of the century) and thank you for staying up until, what, 8.00 pm US time when you have a massaging remote-controlled uberbed to welcome you!

I will raise my cup of tea in your general direction, and thank you for not insisting on a pre-nup.

Happy Birthday, even if UK time is so weird.

We define the time. But thank you!

 

[SmileyGirl]

Happy Birthdayyyy Des

 

[IrezumiKiss]

"Desire Essentials" should be the name of a store.

With perfumed bath beads and scented candles and shit. And all the women that go there wear sandals and have on summer dresses with visible thongs underneath.

 

[parodyluvr75]

Have a great one young man and many happy returns!

 

[thør]

"Desire Essentials" should be the name of a store.

With perfumed bath beads and scented candles and shit. And all the women that go there wear sandals and have on summer dresses with visible thongs underneath.

OR

For varieties of bacon.....

 

[Miles Long]

"Desire Essentials" should be the name of a store.

With perfumed bath beads and scented candles and shit. And all the women that go there wear sandals and have on summer dresses with visible thongs underneath.

You... nailed it.

Oh, happy birthday Des! DRANK!

 

[Skiddles2015]

"Desire Essentials" should be the name of a store.

With perfumed bath beads and scented candles and shit. And all the women that go there wear sandals and have on summer dresses with visible thongs underneath.

The guy looks like he could use a bath.

 

[thør]

Happy Birthday, even if UK time is so weird.

Birthdays are allowed in the UK?

 

[Garnate]

You are the best e-fiancee I've ever had (still waiting on the Lit wedding of the century) and thank you for staying up until, what, 8.00 pm US time when you have a massaging remote-controlled uberbed to welcome you!

I will raise my cup of tea in your general direction, and thank you for not insisting on a pre-nup.

Not a lot of people know this but my heart is filled to the brim with care and love. Staying up until 8pm was no trouble when it means showering my eLove with attention on his special day. I give and I give and I give. Remind me to send you an eCream for that.

Wanna take the vibrating bed for a spin?

 

[IrezumiKiss]

The guy looks like he could use a bath.

You know they don't take daily baths over there.

Oh wait...that's the French.

 

[DesEsseintes]

You are all the loveliest of lovelies, even Mr Skidmark. Thank you for being so charming to an ageing limey.

And Garnate, yes please to the bed test drive! Do I need to do anything, or does the bed make my moves for me?

 

[Garnate]

You are all the loveliest of lovelies, even Mr Skidmark. Thank you for being so charming to an ageing limey.

And Garnate, yes please to the bed test drive! Do I need to do anything, or does the bed make my moves for me?

I can control how high your head gets lifted. And your knees. I think if you just roll over on top of me, the bed can do the rest. Bring snacks!

 

[Miles Long]

I can control how high your head gets lifted. And your knees. I think if you just roll over on top of me, the bed can do the rest. Bring snacks!

You like to chew beef jerky while doing the naughty, too?!

 

[glynndah]

A birthday from the good little witch.

 

[toubab]

So it's a birthday for Des? Well then, have a happy one, old chap.

 

[lovetoread]

Birthdays are allowed in the UK?

I am not sure.

But I bet there is an extra u in there somewhere.

 

[IrezumiKiss]

I can control how high your head gets lifted.

http://media.tumblr.com/06207ab1a6b7589baacc9a0e19331155/tumblr_inline_nivadbDY5n1qjhl77.gif

 

[DesEsseintes]

I can control how high your head gets lifted. And your knees. I think if you just roll over on top of me, the bed can do the rest. Bring snacks!

I'm packing pepperoni. Extra spicy.

You like to chew beef jerky while doing the naughty, too?!

I am old, Miles, but not yet shrivelled.

A birthday from the good little witch.

Thank you! I promise to return the ruby slippers before midnight.

 

[glynndah]

"Desire Essentials" should be the name of a store.

With perfumed bath beads and scented candles and shit. And all the women that go there wear sandals and have on summer dresses with visible thongs underneath.

I have to wear panties to shop there?!?

 

[DesEsseintes]

I have to wear panties to shop there?!?

This shop just got even better. You get a loyalty card, madam.

 

[glynndah]

Thank you! I promise to return the ruby slippers before midnight.

I shined up the sparkles just for you.

 

[AllyRose]

Happy Birthday!

 

[DesEsseintes]

Happy Birthday!

Thank you very much! If only my gangrene hadn't cleared up at just the wrong moment I'd have waved a Green Spot at you.