IrisAlthea
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Feb 2, 2008
- Posts
- 5,362
It’s the season if gift-giving and as always it strikes me how many people see the gift giving thing as a reciprocal process.
For me it is a joy in itself to find something I think fits perfectly for someone and being able to give it to them. I often find it tedious though, to have to find something for a special occasion.
I find that this extends to invitations and relationships too. Many people seem to keep tabs rather carefully. I usually invite people because I want to spend time with them. I don’t much care if they invite me back or get me gifts or whatever at the same rate or even at all.
I guess that differing views on the gift giving thing, might make you more or less inclined to use it as an analogy for submission. For me it doesn’t work at all.
One thing that stands out to me is that this gift thing seems way more associated with male D/ female s.
I recently stumbled over something a woman had written about having standards/boundaries while dating and it was about respecting herself by only accepting fancy invitations and not just coffee dates.
Again, this is so alien to me because my selfrespect is not founded in how people spend on me and if I spend time with or on people, it’s because I want to be with them, get to know them, do something for them.
To me her thinking about the relationship between woman and man sounded like it was still very much rooted in something that goes back to courtly love, where he has to jump through hoops for her to finally have her bestow her grace upon him.
Perhaps this is part of the ”gift of submission”-trope too?
For me it is a joy in itself to find something I think fits perfectly for someone and being able to give it to them. I often find it tedious though, to have to find something for a special occasion.
I find that this extends to invitations and relationships too. Many people seem to keep tabs rather carefully. I usually invite people because I want to spend time with them. I don’t much care if they invite me back or get me gifts or whatever at the same rate or even at all.
I guess that differing views on the gift giving thing, might make you more or less inclined to use it as an analogy for submission. For me it doesn’t work at all.
One thing that stands out to me is that this gift thing seems way more associated with male D/ female s.
I recently stumbled over something a woman had written about having standards/boundaries while dating and it was about respecting herself by only accepting fancy invitations and not just coffee dates.
Again, this is so alien to me because my selfrespect is not founded in how people spend on me and if I spend time with or on people, it’s because I want to be with them, get to know them, do something for them.
To me her thinking about the relationship between woman and man sounded like it was still very much rooted in something that goes back to courtly love, where he has to jump through hoops for her to finally have her bestow her grace upon him.
Perhaps this is part of the ”gift of submission”-trope too?
