Does anyone here actually read the stories?

[Scruffy]

42


now cum on... challenge my brain at least

Hmmmmmm. You must be using the new maths. Let me check. Hmmm....carry the inverse ratio......subtract the denumerator.....multiply the tangent by the root......Hmmmm

I think you got the answer wrong. My Texas Instruments 3000 says the answer is Error Low Battery.

 

[Willing and Unsure]

Re: Don't worry.

Don't let the criticism bother you too much. I enjoyed your little stories. Having a female point of view about what gets her hot was nice.

as long as the criticism isnt vindictive and spiteful or anything just to be mean... it's helpful, constructive.. and at least i can get some help with what needs to be worked on and so on..


and by the way... i am more than happy to show someone else what i like when it comes time to have fun

 

[Willing and Unsure]

Hmmmmmm. You must be using the new maths. Let me check. Hmmm....carry the inverse ratio......subtract the denumerator.....multiply the tangent by the root......Hmmmm

I think you got the answer wrong. My Texas Instruments 3000 says the answer is Error Low Battery.

Scruffy... i learned that one in 2nd grade... i dont need a calculator to answer it..

 

[Young Knave]

That's good. Just thought I'd say something positive.

I'm sure you don't have trouble saying what you want. Not too many girls write that sort of story. I thought it was a nice change to have something raunchy from a girl's point of view. Reading about guys talking about their 12 inchers gets a little old after a while.

 

[ericred50]

My first visits to this site was in search of erotic stories, I used to and still do print them off to read in my bed at night. I have several favorite writters, who have become by friends, we exchange e mails, and sneek previews of their latest works, to test my reactions. I write erotic stories for my own enjoyment, and I exchange erotic e-mails with like minded friends, but do not yet think them good enough for public veiwing.

 

[Weird Harold]

Scruffy... i learned that one in 2nd grade... i dont need a calculator to answer it..

I'm so bad at arithmetic, it affects my calculator. Mine says 6x7=52. Why? (and no, it's not broken.)

Back on topic.

Especially when writing for online consumption, short paragraphs of five to seven lines work best, because that gives the eye a line to follow when reading.

If you interpret the definition of paragraph one way, allowing for "parenthetical quotations within the body of the paragraph, then your original formatting could be considered correct. A stricter interpretation, and you original text should be three, maybe four paragraphs.

With a very tight interpretation of "related thoughts" you get much shorter easier to read (online) paragraphs like the last revision I looked at.

Much of paragraphing is an art and a matter of an author's style. Like most other things about writing, it's easier to spot problem areas if you read your work aloud.

 

[cymbidia]

I thought it was a nice change to have something raunchy from a girl's point of view.

Well, you haven't cruised through the Stories categories here at Lit, then, guy. There's a LOT of really straightforward sexual stories here by talented women writers.

Course, saying that kinda thing sounds good in thread when you're just trying to snuggle up to a warm body, i understand that. However, you'll have to understand that i needed to set the record straight about the many, many good writers - women writers - who contribute down n' dirty sex stories to this site. Don't you go saying there are a lack of us again.

ericred50 - ever considered submitting your "stories" to a Lit Volunteer Editor (like Weird Harold, one of the very very best here) to get help smoothing the edges before you submit them?

 

[Weird Harold]

Well, you haven't cruised through the Stories categories here at Lit, then, guy. There's a LOT of really straightforward sexual stories here by talented women writers.

I definitely have to second this thought. I think most of the stories that nhave moved me to vote have been by women from a woman's viewpoint.

 

[Willing and Unsure]

wrote another... thought i'd leave it for comments

deleted for personal reasons

 

[Stonedagger]

well

willing and unsure
I liked your short story!!!

 

[Willing and Unsure]

thanx... any comments though?

 

[Mr. Bootie]

Comment... Who can comment!!

I just finished reading your first two stories....Damn Girl!!! I had to pull my hand from my ************... Then I had to go to the bathroom and ************** ... So I read your third story, and I was o.k. However, You did say that your first two stories were not fiction...Right?? OH! S___!!!!! I think I have to go back into the bathroom and *******************************

Someone Please!!! Get me some Ice water. Heavy on the ice
(LOL)


kgboot

 

[Willing and Unsure]

thanx kgboot... the first two are nonfiction... and the third is fiction... but a very realistic fantasy that i have right now and am looking forward to trying sometime in the future... i will be posting a few others that i would like to try eventually... so there will be more soon

 

[ericred50]

OK Willing and Unsure, you write an arousing story, I have printed it off and I shall read it tonight in bed. I'm taking my tape recorder and note pad, I make notes and let you have my reaction .

 

[ericred50]

Ok I shall arise to the challange, and see where it takes me. I printed off Willing and Unsures first story, I made a few notes and observed my reaction.

I was lying in my bed, the family was asleep, by door was closed, and I was naked. I started to read the story,

At " I'm rubbing my clit, hitting the right spot so many time. " my cock started to rise.

By the time I had reached "I love the way I taste" I was hard, I had reached my full length of 5.5 inches, and 6ins all the way around the base, my balls were tight, and the desire within me
was strong. My left hand moved to my balls, and started to caress them, squeezing them, by index finger moved to the base to a spot between my bum hole and balls. The finger moved in small circles, gently pressing in and out, my thumb pressed at the base near the front of my prick, where it joins my stomach. My thumb pressing in. Im holding the page with my right hand. The urge is getting quite strong.

When I read "I thrust my hips into my hand, and came again" I needed both hands, the page was thrown to one side. Both hands grasp my hard cock, the head was purple the skin stretched tight, it glistened in the light. Precum was ousing out of my piss hole, I love the feeling, of my hands squeezing my rod, one on my balls the other holding the length. I thought of you, lying in your bed, touching your self. One hand moved to my nipples, squeezing them in turn, twisting them in my fingers, they became hard and tender, waves of pleasure went through me. I knew I had to cum soon, but I enjoy the feeling so much, the feeling of my whole body tingling before my juices spurts, from me. Both hands on my cock it twitches, as I put my hand over its head and press down slightly, my first two fingers move over the head, one on each side, I imagined they were your lips, pressing down lightly on my cock. I felt the urge again.

My other hand moved to my mouth, I soaked the index finger with my slava, and put it on my arse hole; the need is great; I could not stop, nothing would stop me as my finger went into my arse hole and finds my g-spot rubbing it , while my other hand moved up and down my length, faster, harder, oh hhhhh the feeling is like nothing else, as I pushed my hips up and down, fucking my hand, with one finger in my hole.

I came, with so much force, clenching my teeth, pressing my thighs together, it starting at my toes and passing through me. My whole body shuddered. I shouted out , with cries of estasy, the full force of fucking my hand came out of my shaft, in spurts of pure spunk all over myself. I relaxed, my heart beating fast, a thumping in my ears, sweat pouring out of me. I grabed the towel, wiping my juices from me, and fell back onto the pillow, relaxed and content.

I fell asleep thinking of you, I'd love a picture.

 

[Willing and Unsure]

thanx eric for that lovely description.. i really like it

deleted for personal reasons

 

[ericred50]

Willing, you do have a way with words. You did it again to me. although I must tell you, I can not stand being dominated, I burst out laughing (ask PattsY). I do however enjoy being dominate, and being in control.

 

[Mr. Bootie]

UH- OH!

Time to return to the cold shower!

kgboot

 

[Willing and Unsure]

thanx guys... and here's another

deleted for personal reasons

 

[Willing and Unsure]

willingly accepting any comments still

deleted for personal reasons

 

[ericred50]

Well Willing, you are very sexy, do you think about sex all day long, I do. That last story is a fantasy of mine, and I have seen it happening, My office over looks a busy road, the traffic is very often stopped outside my window, because of traffic lights. One day I looked down to see this girl going down on this guy who was driving, I could not keep my eyes of them, just as the lights changed the guy looked up and smiled at me. I was very aroused and had to go to the wash room, to release the ache in my balls.

 

[Willing and Unsure]

thanx eric.. and its close to all day.. and all comments are welcome for this one too

deleted due to personal reasons

 

[Mr. Bootie]

Hey Hon'.......Didn't WE.................

Already talk about this. What ARE you trying to do to me?????


(Heading to the Shower now.......Thanks a lot....


kgboot

 

[Willing and Unsure]

what do you think i'm trying to do to you?








... so, i thought i'd share anyway

 

[Mr. Bootie]

You've Succeeded!!!!!!

Excuse me WaU, but I need to make a call,


Ahem.......OH! PacificBlue, Where are you?

Can you come out to Play????


kgboot



PS. I'll get you yet WaU. It's not nice to tease kgboot (SMILE)