Emotional Connection

[Lonsome_Cowboy_Dad]

Let me take myself out of the story for a moment, I thought maybe we all could just ask what we can do for another person.

Please, I am not talking about sex, or erotica I just want to know how to connect with another person (for me a woman) in a meaningful way. I believe online love can really exist, for me, I know it can.

I do have a profile, I really don't want to share here but yes I am married and still incredibly lonely. If you don't think I am a piece of shit (yes I do get that routinely) what would you ask someone else to do for you? I'll let someone else ask me that question.

 

[barefootgirl69]

Let me take myself out of the story for a moment, I thought maybe we all could just ask what we can do for another person.

Please, I am not talking about sex, or erotica I just want to know how to connect with another person (for me a woman) in a meaningful way. I believe online love can really exist, for me, I know it can.

I do have a profile, I really don't want to share here but yes I am married and still incredibly lonely. If you don't think I am a piece of shit (yes I do get that routinely) what would you ask someone else to do for you? I'll let someone else ask me that question.

The best piece of advice I was ever given was to put myself out there and get to know people, talk to them in the forum, don't narrow things down - and, eventually, you'll find someone who interests you enough to determine if you're compatible. Don't rush things. If nothing else, you've met a lot of people on the forum and had a lot of laughs.

 

[Lonsome_Cowboy_Dad]

The best piece of advice I was ever given was to put myself out there and get to know people, talk to them in the forum, don't narrow things down - and, eventually, you'll find someone who interests you enough to determine if you're compatible. Don't rush things. If nothing else, you've met a lot of people on the forum and had a lot of laughs.

Thank you, I am very new to Lit Forum but it's so nice to be welcomed in this way. Great Advice, thank you.

 

[Live4themoments]

The best piece of advice I was ever given was to put myself out there and get to know people, talk to them in the forum, don't narrow things down - and, eventually, you'll find someone who interests you enough to determine if you're compatible. Don't rush things. If nothing else, you've met a lot of people on the forum and had a lot of laughs.

Great advice, spot on. I will add. Just be yourself, be considerate, humorous, sincere, truthful, and savy. Don't have an agenda thus it probably will take some time. People here are pretty good at picking out the posters. There will be several times where nothing becomes of your attempts and that's fine. In the back of your mind keep thinking there will be someone who enjoys your banter, then the excitement begins. Best of luck in your journey

 

[Lonsome_Cowboy_Dad]

Great advice, spot on. I will add. Just be yourself, be considerate, humorous, sincere, truthful, and savy. Don't have an agenda thus it probably will take some time. People here are pretty good at picking out the posters. There will be several times where nothing becomes of your attempts and that's fine. In the back of your mind keep thinking there will be someone who enjoys your banter, then the excitement begins. Best of luck in your journey

Thank you very much for addendum. Hope to thank you in person someday. I believe people undervalue encouragement, I mean we all need to feel like there's a good reason to carry-on .

I really appreciate you

 

[Lonsome_Cowboy_Dad]

If anyone had asked me Iwould have said that I was looking for a safe space to share with someone who was also interested in carving out a place to share. I had found a "Safe Space" Thread that was recommended to me. I'm just sad that safety is only available to people with a very narrow political perspective.

I am a deliberately non-political person , although I am aware this apolitical position has branded me a right-wing extremist and worse on Lit before.

So I think I will just abandon the above experiment.

Many thanks to all the kind people who shared their advice and experiences. I'm afraid I am just carrying too much baggage to make this work.

Goodnight MOON

 

[Jada59]

If you feel you are carrying too much baggage, working on yourself can help. Use “I am” statements. Tell yourself all of the good and positive things thst you see. Example: I am caring towards others. Or: I am seeking the truth about myself.

It can be difficult to do this at first. If it helps, keep a list of your statements so you can repeat them out loud or in your head. Try your best to add at least one positive thing per day.

The more “whole” you are, the more positive energy you’ll exude. People will naturally be attracted to you.

 

[ellebrooks]

When I was on chat, the men that stood out to me are the ones who made an effort. They are the ones who are worth putting time back into. Effort includes:

1) getting to know me, what is important to me
2) asking follow up questions - show interest
3) make note of what I like, what I tell you about my life then ask about those things down the line

But you have to truly care about these things for it to feel genuine.

 

[AbsintheFather]

When I was on chat, the men that stood out to me are the ones who made an effort. They are the ones who are worth putting time back into. Effort includes:

1) getting to know me, what is important to me
2) asking follow up questions - show interest
3) make note of what I like, what I tell you about my life then ask about those things down the line

But you have to truly care about these things for it to feel genuine.

Lit is full of folks looking for the 'quickie'. But the only truly worthwhile online relationships I've had here are the ones where the relationship is a well-rounded package.

 

[Just_Derek26]

When I was on chat, the men that stood out to me are the ones who made an effort. They are the ones who are worth putting time back into. Effort includes:

1) getting to know me, what is important to me
2) asking follow up questions - show interest
3) make note of what I like, what I tell you about my life then ask about those things down the line

But you have to truly care about these things for it to feel genuine.

These are great tips for building rapport.

I will add don’t forget that Rome wasn’t built in a day. Also don’t try too hard, determination can be easily confused with desperation.

 

[Hotcoffee123]

What we can do is be there, be interested, and not expect perfection. Listening without judgment is a really nice thing to do for another person.