Etiquette of drinking alcohol when dating?

[NOIRTRASH]

Jesus! Simply say NO or YES when you mean it.

 

[FGB]

Just tell them Alcohol doesn't agree with you... if they still push it, tell them it makes you want to kill the nearest Asshole and that might put them in danger.

 

[GrrlFriday]

One person...two reasons....both real.

I would probably just, in public say: I'm driving later/in the morning, not because either are embarrassing to me, just they lead to more questions that aren't really anyone else's business. . Its ok to have boundaries.


If someone treats you differently because you do not drink it is not YOUR issue but theirs.

Thanks.

 

[Cumference]

I like a glass of good red wine, when it befits the food or the situation.

I like the slight tingle of a moderate amount of alcohol, but I hate the feeling of being drunk, I loath not being in control of my actions (and I disgust the hangover even more).
It is the best of both worlds. Be there and enjoy the party fully, AND be functional the day after!

Stand your ground! If you do not want to drink, that is all the "justification" you need!

 

[docile_dancer]

I'd steer clear of "it makes me giggly and sleepy" because it sounds kind of cute and people will get curious about how giggly etc.

If you go with "I don't like it, because I get sick", you can easily dismiss anyone who thinks you should drink anyway just to entertain them, as someone not worth your time.

THIS. It's brilliant in its simplicity, keeps within etiquette guidelines, should shut people down without over explaining or inviting them too far into your life.

Honestly, you could probably just quit with "I don't like it." Anyone who matters will leave it at that and focus on the rest of you. Plus, if they push it too far, you know what kind of person they are and how much they think of you and your feelings.

 

[IrisGardens]

I'd steer clear of "it makes me giggly and sleepy" because it sounds kind of cute and people will get curious about how giggly etc.

If you go with "I don't like it, because I get sick", you can easily dismiss anyone who thinks you should drink anyway just to entertain them, as someone not worth your time.

IrisAlthea-- I love your screen name I think you have said it best.

To the OP, I am the same way! I break out in painful hives when I drink, often within a few minutes. I'm also a lightweight and it throws off my sleep for a few days.

When I was in high school, my parents were wine connoisseurs and I tasted with them in the privacy of our home. Alcohol wasn't a big deal to them, but getting stupid with it was. I am glad that I got to appreciate it at one point. As a parent now, I wish I could drink a glass to calm my nerves every now and then, but I'm glad that it is one thing that I don't spend money on.

 

[oggbashan]

Many years ago I was persuaded, against my better judgement, to take my father's friend's daughter our for a date.

Both fathers thought it was a good idea and that we would be a suitable match. Not surprisingly we didn't agree with our fathers, and anyway she already had a boyfriend that her father didn't know about (and wouldn't have approved of).

We arranged to go to the local cinema but on the way there she suggested that we stopped at the local public house, about 200 yards from her house. She asked for a half pint of commercial sweet cider which was low in alcohol during that era.

I went to the bar, bought a pint of bitter for myself and the cider for her. She drank about a quarter of the cider and then collapsed against me. I didn't know what was wrong. The landlord came over, saw who she was and said:

"Not again! She knows she can't tolerate alcohol but keeps trying. If I had seen her come in I would have warned you. You'll have to carry her home."

I did. I was very embarrassed to be back on her parents' doorstep a quarter of an hour after we had left with their daughter draped across my shoulders in a fireman's lift.

Her father took her from me and apologised to me:

"I should have told you. She can't drink. But she will. I'll put her to bed."

We didn't get to the movie that night. We had several more dates but she didn't drink. We went out together. She met up with her boyfriend and I went out with his sister.

Eventually she married the boyfriend, eventually acceptable to her parents once he had graduated with a 1st, and she is now a grandmother - but she still can't drink any alcohol.

She was no lightweight. She weighed 160 lbs at least.

 

[littlecordelera]

I don't drink much, never have, and I run into this problem a lot, especially on dates. One night, after hearing, "Are you sure? Don't you want another glass of wine?" several times, I finally told the guy the truth.

"No, I don't want anymore," I said. "Alcohol dulls the senses, and quite frankly, I like to feel everything."

It immediately put an end to his line of questioning.

I say it right up front nowadays, and I never get any more argument.

 

[Cumference]

I don't drink much, never have, and I run into this problem a lot, especially on dates. One night, after hearing, "Are you sure? Don't you want another glass of wine?" several times, I finally told the guy the truth.

"No, I don't want anymore," I said. "Alcohol dulls the senses, and quite frankly, I like to feel everything."

It immediately put an end to his line of questioning.

I say it right up front nowadays, and I never get any more argument.

Reminds me of the Shakespeare quote:
"Wine provokes the desire, but takes away the performance"

 

[GrrlFriday]

"I should have told you. She can't drink. But she will. I'll put her to bed."

Oh dear - at least her father was understanding!

I don't drink much, never have, and I run into this problem a lot, especially on dates. One night, after hearing, "Are you sure? Don't you want another glass of wine?" several times, I finally told the guy the truth.

"No, I don't want anymore," I said. "Alcohol dulls the senses, and quite frankly, I like to feel everything."

It immediately put an end to his line of questioning.

I say it right up front nowadays, and I never get any more argument.

Thanks, littlecordelera - I'm glad to know that you run into this problem a lot.. and how you shut it down with poise.