Fakes, Phonies and BS'ers...

[whspr]

I think all of us that have been on the Net for any length of time has been hurt and lied to at some point. Of course, real life has done the same thing for me. I've tried to keep my heart in check but sometimes that is so very hard to do. I'm afraid of being hurt but on the other hand, I'm afraid of missing something special, too.

Playing games with emotions, is something I can't understand.
Be honest. That's it ...period.

whspr

 

[bra_man69]

always use your head thats what it is there for its has
2 ears so you can hear
2 eyes so you can look
it has a noise so you can smell
then a brain on the inside so you can think
there all free to use weather it be online are off online

 

[Flamefighter]

Amen to that Whspr. Amen to that. Emotions are so fragile, and to be so cold and heartless to play with them and destroy someone has to be the lowest form of life. All we can hope is that they live a miserable existance.

God knows I've been hurt. Felt like shit! It always does. But I plan on moving on with my life. It's all you can do right?

Thanks Arden for this thread. It seems a sorry state of affairs that we need something like this and I hate to see all the others on here that have also been hurt. Just know that you're all not alone and now we have this thread to come to.

 

[voluptuous_vixen]

Thanks Arden for starting this thread. It is so helpful to get a reality check! Sometimes I tend to be too gullible for my own good. I am like that in RL too though.

I personally have never lied. I always mention that I am married even though it is not a happy marriage. My husband knows I play on lit and on yahoo. So truthfully I am decieving no one.

I have never encountered phonies on Lit. But I have on Yahoo. I know how frustrating it can be and truly angering. I don't see the profit from lying, maybe some of those liars out there would care to share?

 

[Guest 2]

{{{{{{{{{ICEY}}}}}}}}

 

[BooMerengue]

I just found this thread... Some of you know me... Carrie, Oman, AlwaysAwake, Jenny not as well, but some, and a few others. I too, got played when I first came here- 3 yrs ago- but I'm glad I did. It taught me a lot, and I still consider the guy my benchmark by whom I judge all other (online) men.

I guess my best advice is to be honest, but not too. You can share much more than you need to sometimes. Make it plain what you want, what you expect, and see what happens. And for those of you who think you're being played, or stalked, theres software that will allow you to find out whatever you want about whoever you want.

I really love the good friends I've made here. I doubt I'll ever meet anyone in person, but I don't think thats necessary anyway.
I just don't take it all that serious anymore. I do feel sorry tho for those of you who have trusted and then gotten hurt.

Anyway- just be yourself and be cautious. And have fun! Cuz THAT'S what its really all about! When it stops being fun... don't bitch- just walk away!

 

[redrider4u]

Deception is rampant on the web. I think it's easier to detect lies here than on ICQ, for example. Or, on a more positive note, there is more honesty here than other places on the net.

Sometimes I do get tired of the bouts of bitchiness and general surly behavior that surfaces here occasionally.

but.......IMHO...............(S)

 

[capricious_chic]

Interesting thread.

The most important thing to remember when dealing with any on line environment is that every person is here for a different reason.

It would seem that there is a certain percentage of people on line who view the on line experience as role play. They make up a persona and treat all of those that they meet as persona and not a person. That is why it is easy to lie, manipulate and hurt those around them. To them it simply is not real.

On the flip side of that are those that are too real. They take everything they read to heart. The on line environment is their only foray into being social and having a life outside of their home. Every slight, whispered innuendo and small praise is taken very seriously.

I think most people fall somewhere in between the two extremes - yet the two extremes are the ones that get most notice. Probably because they are extreme. It may seem circular - but both of these groups make it possible for the other to thrive on line.

To avoid those that would play games - be honest with yourself first. Yes, we have all experienced meeting those that fall into the first group of people. The thing to examine is what was it about ourselves that made it possible. Each person will have a different answer - but typically it has to do with wanting it to be true, so much so that we overlooked the little things that did not add up. Always it is the little things. No one is a hundred percent honest - No one. Lies don't have to be blatant to be real lies. Presently yourself differently on line is a form of a lie. Seriously, if people talked and flirted this much off line there would be no need to have on line communities centered around porn - everyone would be having sex (or their needs fulfilled by whatever means satisfies them). I have lied, you have lied, and everyone you meet has lied to some degree or another. To think or believe that you don't is to deceive yourself - deceiving yourself leaves you vulnerable to those that prey on deception.

A little side note re: the backstabbing friends element - those people that are always ragging to you about others are more than likely ragging about you to others. Most people want to believe that others are only telling these things to them and only them in private yet that is very rarely the case. Look how much attention can be had spreading rumors and gossip or even real info that is "juicy".

 

[69forever]

Fakes, pretender's and wannabe's abound here. The longer I'm here the more I see it. Have I been suckered? Yeah. Do I know other's who had suffered extreme emotional and even physical pain from preditors here? Without question. Do I sometimes get caught up in someone else's Drama? Unfortunately yes.

Making friends of like mind, politically, sexually and personally...and having fun are my goals in being here. Defending and warning online friends of preditors is part of being a friend.

There are male and female preditors here. All different kinds. The worst do it for the thrill of conquest and truly mean to harm others. Sick F**KS. Then there are those who are otherwise attached and looking for something on the side. Liars and cheats.

What's the difference between someone who you give your heart to, who just cannot commit to a relationship (for whatever hurt they hang on to)....and someone who I would call a preditor???

Guess it's if there is a repetitive pattern, even after knowing that they have inflicted harm on someone else.

IMHO...