Feedback on my first story

[Raymitchell1]

I’m retired. Ive always enjoyed writing a I read a lot of erotic literature so I thought I would give it a whirl. Tell me what you think. My stories are inspired by trips I have taken.

https://www.literotica.com/s/the-onsen-1

 

[Deepikafrozen]

I’m retired. Ive always enjoyed writing a I read a lot of erotic literature so I thought I would give it a whirl. Tell me what you think. My stories are inspired by trips I have taken.

https://www.literotica.com/s/the-onsen-1

Such a gorgeous read, You completely nailed the atmosphere the steam, the snow outside, and the sensory tension had me hooked.
I did find the beginning a bit hard to buy into; an unknown woman casually walking into the bath without a word and instantly being that comfortable felt a little unrealistic. However, the twist at the end completely reframed it! Turning what seemed like a stranger encounter into a playful roleplay between a long-term couple added so much warmth. Hands down, the most incredible part was how raw and intimate the ending felt when he released inside her that detail was absolute perfection.
It’s wonderful to see a mature relationship explored with this much spark. Can't wait to read more of your travel-inspired stories.

 

[Raymitchell1]

Such a gorgeous read, You completely nailed the atmosphere the steam, the snow outside, and the sensory tension had me hooked.
I did find the beginning a bit hard to buy into; an unknown woman casually walking into the bath without a word and instantly being that comfortable felt a little unrealistic. However, the twist at the end completely reframed it! Turning what seemed like a stranger encounter into a playful roleplay between a long-term couple added so much warmth. Hands down, the most incredible part was how raw and intimate the ending felt when he released inside her that detail was absolute perfection.
It’s wonderful to see a mature relationship explored with this much spark. Can't wait to read more of your travel-inspired stories.

Thanks so much for the feedback. I’m glad you liked it.