Fems able to cum while having sex

[RainCrow]

Ok maybe it's just me...

I am writing with the hopes that I am not the only one out there, or not the only woman who has experienced this in at least in one relationship or another.

In the 5 years that I have been having sex (yes I am only 20) I have never ever had an orgasm while having sex. I have had plenty of self inflicted orgasms but never any by a partner (intercourse, fingers, oral, etc.)

I did come close once or twice so incredibly close but then one time he slowed his pace just slightly and it ruined it and I didn't cum, and the second time he came like just before I was about to and I didn't cum.

Ok my two questions are: Am I the only one out there that has experienced this? If a woman has experienced this in the past but has figured out how to change sex (positioning, etc.) to be able to cum while having sex how did you do it?

 

[Guest]

Sweety, u need to find a real man

Well I am a guy, and can't help u too much with your questions, so all I gotta say is that both male and female are supposed to be pleased during sex, if u ain't gettin that than u need to stop fuckin with the 4inchers, and find someone to satisfy u, not a 1 min man!!

 

[RainCrow]

LOL. Yes size does and doesn't matter. The best lover I ever had, had a 9 inch dick and he was a very considerate and compassionate lover. But that still didn't change anything, I never had an orgasm with him.

 

[Laineforfun]

Give it time you will come during sex. Do you do any foreplay before intercourse? Work yourself up to being very close to orgasm them let him enter you. Let him play with your clit while hes moving in and out or you massage your clit while he is sliding in and out. Just a few ideas but most of all don't try to hard you might be putting to much pressure on yourself. Just enjoy the feelings you are having and if you get lost in them enough you will come before you know it. Good luck.

Laine

 

[RainCrow]

Thanks Laine

 

[Guest]

I'll make u CUM

aight hun, if nothin else works out, gaurantee to make u happy, u will cum like Hell when i'm done with u!!

 

[RainCrow]

<wink> I have heard that before. What would make you any different oh Unregistered one?
http://home.attbi.com/~raincrow/jasmine_crowsmall.JPG

 

[Laineforfun]

Your welcome. Just curious, RainCrow, does he go down on you? and if so can you come this way?

 

[peachykeen]

Rain, chill, you haven't been doing this all that long and it takes time to get to know your body. Plus I suspect that if your
partner(s) are around your age then they are also not terrribly familiar with identifying what makes a)any woman and b)you personally tick (now matter how bloody great they think they are; young men tend to think they are just "it" when in fact they know diddly).

Listen, just relax and enjoy whatever happens. If you tell a guy you haven't/can't cum by having sex he will take it as his mission to 'make' you. This might sound appealing off the cuff but trust me it will just end up being a chore for both of you, his ego will get all involved, both of you will be lying there pretending to be having the time of your lives while inside you'll both be thinking "What's wrong with me?" You'll be much better off if you just focus on what he is doing while he's doing it, how it makes you feel, giving encouragement when it feels right on, experiment with different positions, and before you know it one of these days an orgasm will come slam you upside the head.

byt he way, not every orgasm is the same either, you might want to check out the other recent positngs on that topic as well. Personally if I do not have an orgasm with my husband during actual intercourse I don't view it as a tragedy, and either he or I will masturbate me into one while we kiss and cuddle afterwards. Which is also very nice.

 

[dreamer]

Well, I've been in 6 sexual relationships, and 4 with actual penetration of a non-manual type. Of those 6 two (of the older ones mind you) had their first 'couples' orgasm with me.

What you are experiencing is NOT unusual for women. I am a big believer of comfort and communication in relationships lead to positive results in the bedroom. Often those things come with time in the relationship. Give it time. Give the relationship time, and talk talk talk to each other about these things. Between good communication and the comfort level that comes with someone you feel safe with and open with it will happen.

Best of luck to you.

 

[Guest]

u would like to know

sweety, u would only luv to know what i would do to you, i always make my partner happy, u would be no different, email me sometime, jatthsc99@hotmail.com

 

[peachykeen]

see rain read unreg's posts and you'll see what I mean by that ego/mission thing. avoid, avoid, avoid...that way madness lies...

 

[MR.GGG]

Stats show that over 70% of women NEVER cum through intercourse alone so you are NOT weird or wired wrong. The clit is just in the wrong position to be properly stimulated during intercourse is all. Don't you have any g/fs to talk to? Why would you assume that you were the ONLY woman in the world who this happens (or not) to???

You can do several things. First do your Keigel squeezes and build up muscle tone. Two...keep masturbating and use different methods (have you tried the GSPot thing in TRY THIS AND REPORT BACK, thread??) so YOU learn about your own bod. Guys do NOT come with a genetically implanted knowledge about pleasing women. If you can tell a guy, " Do this..OK ya like that...just a bit harder...YA right like that." Then you'll cum, he'll feel like a stud and ya'll be happy. Find a guy who's a little older who isn't in a big rush to cum himself. Guys your age just don't get it and won't for another decade or three. Some people will say "Just relax and let it happen" but I think many women who know how to cum thru masturbation forget some of the stuff they do when they are having intercourse. They assume the penis is going to do everything they do to themselves and it doesn't work like that. If you combine the two - masturbation and intercourse you may be able to get there, learn what you need to get there and then make that part of your intercourse so you can cum like that whenever you have intercourse.

Good luck.

 

[dreamer]

I think Mr.GGG the problem isn't orgasm with intercourse as much as orgasm WITH another person in any way.

I see this as a totally different problem that really comes back to the comfort and trust with the partner.

Your thread is a good one most definately, but I think there is another concern in this particular case. I don't see this as a purely physical issue.

 

[bigjacknyc]

Some good advice here.

The only thing that I would add is in reference to your point about how you almost came once but then your partner slowed his rhythm and you lost it. I'm not sure if you're comfortable talking to your partner during sex - I know I wasn't at 20 - but if you ever start getting to that point again, don't be shy about telling him.

It's productive to your quest for orgasm during intercourse and, as a guy, I find it really arousing. Probably sounds like a bad porno but just stuff like, "yeah, that's it, just like that. I'm getting close. Keep going, keep going." Your guy would have to be a complete idiot not to be able to follow along, and I'm sure he's not. And as well as instructing him, you can also say flattering things to him to excite him. Then again, as you can probably tell, I'm pretty big on talking during sex. Makes me feel closer to my partner.

Bon chance...

 

[SexyChele]

Ok maybe it's just me...


Ok my two questions are: Am I the only one out there that has experienced this? If a woman has experienced this in the past but has figured out how to change sex (positioning, etc.) to be able to cum while having sex how did you do it?

No, it's not "just you". Most women do not orgasm through penetration alone. Yes, I know - pornos and a lot of men seem to think that you shove something up a woman's vagina and she's gonna cum like a volcano. (Another falsehood - most women don't "gush", either)

I experienced my first orgasm with a man when I was about 21. I was on top, and was able to grind my clit into him. This was a major thing for me, and I was on cloud 9. His response? "Are you done yet?" Seems he didn't care for the woman on top thing and the idea that I was grinding and not bouncing. Yeah. Well, that's why he became an "ex".

I didn't experience another orgasm with another person until I was 29. And it happened totally without me working for or without directing him. He went down on me, and I slipped into my "yeah, well, if this gets you off, go for it, but it doesn't do anything for me" trance. I was actually thinking about something else entirely. Then WHAM! It hit, and it hard. It was the explosive orgasm that I'd only been able to give myself. That egged him on, and after I'd orgasmed 4 times, I was begging him to stop.

Now, what does this all mean? A woman orgasms through her clitoris. (I'll leave the g-spot alone for now) You need either manual, oral, or electronic stimulation of the clitoris in order to achieve orgasm. I've never been able to orgasm during intercourse. And I'm 42. Part of the reason is that I can't orgasm with something moving inside of me. But that's just me. Some women can, some can't.

Normally, it will take either oral sex or stimulation manually to achieve orgasm. Many times men have asked me "What does it take?" I don't know. That's the truth. I've never done oral on myself, so I don't know. And a tongue is different than fingers. But I know what feels good and what doesn't, and when it feels good, I just encourage him to continue.

Open communication is good and esstential. But, I would suggest a couple of things:

1. If you can bring yourself to orgasm, try doing it in front of your partner, so he can see what you do.

2. Have fun with oral sex. It may take a while (well, with me it does), but if he likes it and is willing to keep at it, he won't mind.

3. Keep a vibrator close at hand in the event that you get close and it's a "no go". At least he can have fun bringing you to orgasm with a toy.

4. Try to be on top. The best way (for me) is to lean forward, over him, so your clit is rubbing against him. Being on top gives you control over how fast, how slow, how much pressure you need/desire.

And, yes, I would say to relax. When you are worried and anxious, it is difficult at best. Not orgasming during intercourse is not a tragic event. There are other ways of achieving that pleasure. Stay open to other opportunities.

Good luck!

 

[RainCrow]

wow

Wow I just wanted to say thank you so much for all of your replys you have no idea how much this helps me.

 

[Guest]

Okay, I'm younger than you so it makes me feel wierd having a possible solution for you, but whatever, here goes.
I had your problem. I thought I was just destined to be a faker for the rest of my life. But finally one day me and my boyfriend talked about it. He told me that the next time we had sex I needed to tell him exactly what I wanted. So I did. By the way of fingers. I helped him move where I wanted him to be, and told him exactly what felt good and where. Then when I got close I told him that no matter what he could not slow down or stop.
Well, that did it. It was a very intense (and loud) orgasm that I'll never forget. Now, it seems like it just comes naturally and it's hard to believe I ever even had a problem. I think I just needed to break the ice.
Basically get someone who will help you with this, and have him start doing the things you do to yourself. Then, just go from there with what feels good. Make sure he understands not to stop and you should be on your way to that big O.
Best of luck to ya!

 

[alphacat]

There are a lot of things that might be causing your problem.... I think in general it's harder to come with a partner, because they don't know you as well as you do. But nervousness/anxiety can make it harder, as can just trying too hard. However, since you've been sexually active for 5 years and you've yet to have an orgasm with a partner... it may be a medical or psycological problem. You probably should talk to your gynocologist.