First timer in a relationship with a transsexual. Need advice.

[tazzy26]

Hoping to get some tips and advice on a new relationship with a transsexual i recently met online. She is a M to F TS. Very beautiful, feminine and very passable. This is a whole new world to me as i have only dated women who we're born women. This girl is a pre-op so the penis is still there and fully functional. She has beautiful B-Cup breasts that are natural from the hormones she's been taking the past 2 years. In a way i am kind of surprised that her penis is still able to get hard and she's able to cum. She said the only changes the hormones have made in her is that she now has the breasts, hips, a beautiful ass and it takes her much longer to cum. I have always been attracted to transsexuals but again this is the first time i have ever had the chance to hook up and be in a relationship with one.

I guess a lot of my nerves are wondering how to i act in the bedroom? Do i treat her penis like i would a woman's clit? Do transsexuals like to have their penis sucked and played with like it's a clit?

Anybody who has even been with a ts your advice is most appreciated..

 

[Experiencedguy]

The key is communication. Whether verbal, or by exploring in the bedroom. Believe it or not, TS's are just like everybody else. What one finds enjoyable and exciting will not be tolorated by another. And, just how do you think she is goig to know what you enjoy? She may very well want to fuck you -- is that exciting or disgusting to you?? Good luck with your adventures with her. I just hope they are half as good as mine have been.

 

[SweetErika]

Yep, those are all things you should be asking HER, not us, because she's an individual person with specific likes and dislikes. If/when you make it to the bedroom, ask her what she enjoys and to give you plenty of feedback on what she does and doesn't like.

You may want to use the same terminology she uses, or keep it neutral (e.g. "Do you enjoy receiving oral sex? What techniques do you find most pleasurable?") if she might not be a fan of gender-specific words for anatomy and such.

 

[NippleMuncher]

Definitely all questions you should be asking her. You have to remember, EVERYONE is an individual, with individual wants, needs, and desires. While we may be able to give you some hints, the only one who can tell you what they need is your partner.

 

[tazzy26]

The key is communication. Whether verbal, or by exploring in the bedroom. Believe it or not, TS's are just like everybody else. What one finds enjoyable and exciting will not be tolorated by another. And, just how do you think she is goig to know what you enjoy? She may very well want to fuck you -- is that exciting or disgusting to you?? Good luck with your adventures with her. I just hope they are half as good as mine have been.

Thanks for your reply. I have asked her what she enjoys and she's been pretty evasive about it. She's told me she likes her nipples played with, she likes to be spanked but that's about it. She's told me she loves performing oral sex and I've asked her how she feels about her being pleasured orally and have gotten no answer. As for fucking she's said she is pretty much a bottom girl but has been versatile in the past and does enjoy it on occasion. As for it disgusting me not at all. It's not something I've ever done but if it pleases her i am open to trying it.

 

[subwannabe]

I can't believe you have gotten yourself where you are without already knowing the answers to your questions. I'm sure your partner will be open to communication.

 

[tazzy26]

I can't believe you have gotten yourself where you are without already knowing the answers to your questions. I'm sure your partner will be open to communication.

Believe me i wish like hell i knew the answers. Her an i we're just talking on the phone and sex came up. She was telling me how much she is looking forward to our first time together which we're planning for this coming week. She knows it's my first time with a girl like her and she tells me she is going to blow my mind with all the pleasure she is going to give me. Again i asked what she likes and got the usual answers. She likes to be spanked. She likes her nipples played with. I asked her if she would like me to perform oral sex on her and didn't get a reply. I asked if she would like me to bottom for her and no reply. She started talking about how she is going to cover me in whip cream and lick it off. I'm just left scratching my head..

 

[Nasty_Deeds]

Hoping to get some tips and advice on a new relationship with a transsexual i recently met online. She is a M to F TS. Very beautiful, feminine and very passable. This is a whole new world to me as i have only dated women who we're born women. This girl is a pre-op so the penis is still there and fully functional. She has beautiful B-Cup breasts that are natural from the hormones she's been taking the past 2 years. In a way i am kind of surprised that her penis is still able to get hard and she's able to cum. She said the only changes the hormones have made in her is that she now has the breasts, hips, a beautiful ass and it takes her much longer to cum. I have always been attracted to transsexuals but again this is the first time i have ever had the chance to hook up and be in a relationship with one.

I guess a lot of my nerves are wondering how to i act in the bedroom? Do i treat her penis like i would a woman's clit? Do transsexuals like to have their penis sucked and played with like it's a clit?

Anybody who has even been with a ts your advice is most appreciated..

How you act on a first date with a transsexual woman is how you would act on any first date: with common courtesy and communication.

How you interact with her in the bedroom is pretty much how you would act with any woman in the bedroom, with some exceptions. The obvious exception is that she has a penis. Keep in mind, it’s a penis, not a clit, and her cock will respond to the same physical stimulation as yours, including being sucked. The first thing you need to do is consider what you may be able to handle, (psychologically and emotionally), and what you cannot. Take it slow and don’t put yourself in a position that you may regret later on.

How stimulate the rest of her body depends on how and why she is transsexual. When a man becomes a transsexual woman, it is usually because inside, (her true inner self), she feels and thinks more like a woman than a man. Becoming transsexual is often just a person being to true to who they really are. Having a good relationship with a transsexual woman is to a great extent on your part, understanding why she feels like a woman.

In my opinion, (and I am usually in the minority in this opinion), there are two kinds of transsexual women. One is a person who may have the attitude of “Ya Ha, I’m a chick with a dick, let’s have fun”. I think some become transsexual just to be different. Perhaps the ultimate hedonism, and I suppose there is nothing wrong with that.

There is another kind of transsexual woman who was never truly a man. I bring this up because of something you said in your original post. You said, “she is feminine and very passable”. No matter how well they learn to dress, or apply makeup, most transsexual woman will never be truly passable. The reason is, male skeletal structure is different from that of a woman. Not just the pelvis, but also the lower jawbone. The male jawbone has a small ridge on the bottom that makes it appear more square. Some time when you have nothing else to do, observe male and female jaw lines, and you will find the female jaw line is more rounded.

If she is truly passable, (although relatively rare), it is possible that she may be intersexual rather than transsexual. Although not always outwardly visible, intersexual people have both male and female reproductive organs. In some cases, a transsexual woman may have a functioning ovary, but otherwise appear male on the outside. (The only way for her to know for sure is through medical tests involving chromosomes and how the body produces hormones)

No matter if they have a penis or not, if a person grows up with a functioning ovary, their body, (and brain), chemistry is more similar to that of a woman than a man’s. When this is the case, she is going to grow up feeling like a woman more than she feels like a man.

Now to the point of this long post. When you meet her, go with your feelings, and not with any preconceived notion of what she is supposed to be. If when you meet her, you “feel” that you are looking at the face of a woman, and you “feel” drawn to her emotionally/sexually as you would be drawn to a woman, she may be intersexual. If this is the case, you should interact with, and treat her as you would any other woman, because regardless of whether she has a penis or not, inside, she is a woman.

As far as what to do with her penis, I’m sure the two of you will figure that out; however, before you meet her, just be sure that you are secure enough in your own sexuality to handle this relationship. Don’t embarrass her or yourself by offering something that you can’t follow through with.

 

[Nasty_Deeds]

Thanks for your reply. I have asked her what she enjoys and she's been pretty evasive about it. She's told me she likes her nipples played with, she likes to be spanked but that's about it. She's told me she loves performing oral sex and I've asked her how she feels about her being pleasured orally and have gotten no answer. As for fucking she's said she is pretty much a bottom girl but has been versatile in the past and does enjoy it on occasion. As for it disgusting me not at all. It's not something I've ever done but if it pleases her i am open to trying it.

You haven't said how old she is, or how long she has embraced her feminine side. If she is young, or if she is relatively new at embracing her true self, she may be more insecure about this than you. If she is relatively inexperienced, it is important that you act normal, and secure in your feelings. If you act like something is not so normal, she will pick up on it and feel even more insecure. And might even leave. When a woman is in transition, it can be a rocky road for her emotionally.

 

[tazzy26]

You haven't said how old she is, or how long she has embraced her feminine side. If she is young, or if she is relatively new at embracing her true self, she may be more insecure about this than you. If she is relatively inexperienced, it is important that you act normal, and secure in your feelings. If you act like something is not so normal, she will pick up on it and feel even more insecure. And might even leave. When a woman is in transition, it can be a rocky road for her emotionally.

She is the same age as me 36. She has been embracing this side of her since she was 16. So 20 years. She was in a relationship with another guy for 12 years so i am sure she's pretty comfortable in herself.

 

[Experiencedguy]

Just a follow up to my first response. If you show her you care, and accept, and are attracted to her (and not her cock) (although there can be no denying the facination), things will go so good for you. Based on your conversations so far, it sounds like she wants to make your frst time about you, not her or both of you. If that is how it goes, tell her that the next time, you want it to be all for her. Of course, you are both still young enough that maybe you can do both in one session?? Don't push.

You have received a ton of good advise here. Do with it as you wish. Having been in two LTR's with two different girls (one of which lasted for over 20 years), if you do this correctly, you will be left with a lifetime of pleasant memories.

Please do keep us posted, at least for the results of your first encounter.

Best of luck, sucess, and pleasure to the both of you.

 

[tazzy26]

Just a follow up to my first response. If you show her you care, and accept, and are attracted to her (and not her cock) (although there can be no denying the facination), things will go so good for you. Based on your conversations so far, it sounds like she wants to make your frst time about you, not her or both of you. If that is how it goes, tell her that the next time, you want it to be all for her. Of course, you are both still young enough that maybe you can do both in one session?? Don't push.

You have received a ton of good advise here. Do with it as you wish. Having been in two LTR's with two different girls (one of which lasted for over 20 years), if you do this correctly, you will be left with a lifetime of pleasant memories.

Please do keep us posted, at least for the results of your first encounter.

Best of luck, sucess, and pleasure to the both of you.

This message is really to everybody who replied. Thank you for all your input.

We've planned our special night for this coming Friday. i'm going to her place after work and spend the night. I actually just sent her an email letting her know how much i am looking forward to being with her. I again asked her how she feels about me giving her oral sex. Like i told her i want to make her feel as good as she wants me to feel. I also let her know i want to experience sex with her in every way so if she wants to top me i am fine with it. It's my first time just to please take it slow and use a lot of lube. I am actually curious about getting fucked. I really wasn't until somebody brought it up in a response to my post.

I will post when i get home Saturday and let you know how it went.

 

[Nasty_Deeds]

This message is really to everybody who replied. Thank you for all your input.

We've planned our special night for this coming Friday. i'm going to her place after work and spend the night. I actually just sent her an email letting her know how much i am looking forward to being with her. I again asked her how she feels about me giving her oral sex. Like i told her i want to make her feel as good as she wants me to feel. I also let her know i want to experience sex with her in every way so if she wants to top me i am fine with it. It's my first time just to please take it slow and use a lot of lube. I am actually curious about getting fucked. I really wasn't until somebody brought it up in a response to my post.

I will post when i get home Saturday and let you know how it went.

Sound like you have thought this trough and have a good attitude about the coming meeting. One suggestion I might make though, it might not be a good idea to keep asking about oral sex, just take it a step at a time and see how it goes. This is only the first meeting and there is no rule that says you have to do everything on the first date.