Freakin' good titles!

[Angeline]

Well Sadie my man, you are amazing. On a day when Angeline is whining about the cost of batteries for Rowdy Ted, she’s giving you several hundred dollars worth of editorial advice for free. How did you pull that off?

Never you mind what the batteries were for you old reprobate.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

I'd tell you to read some of my stuff, even if I'm not dead or a male, but I'm afraid it would whoosh underneath you.

 

[Guest]

I'd tell you to read some of my stuff, even if I'm not dead or a male, but I'm afraid it would whoosh underneath you.

instead of acting like you are superior, post what you have so I can see for myself.

 

[oxalis]

my dear mr de sade

I must object.
this thread is not owned by anyone but one of my favorite places to see what Karma Dog has to say, about anything.
Please let it be that way again.
With your permission, of course.

And, please drop me a line.

 

[Guest]

EW!!!

What did Rybka do? Ah well, I have it on good authority that if you set a lava lamp on the shore, he will beach himself trying to get to it to spawn. Just catch and release, dude.

Ew!!!! Not on the lavalamp! No! Stay away! Bad, bad Rybka! Bad!

 

[Guest]

flower bashers

anyway, I find that most people are afraid to read my material because the titles have a dark feel to them and most want to read shit about rainbows and flowers.
I am proud to not write about generic shit and if my critics cant handle it, they should realize I only write for myself, no one else.

Hey, I happen to LIKE flowers! I will now shamelessly point you towards my poem, Flower Bashers, which I believe to be nice and full of pink, happy fluff As I've said on another thread, I'm already quite aware that you think you're extremely dark, dangerous, mysterious, and intense. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so is my asshole. Tell me something else we don't know And as for your critics.. what makes you think you have a special group of people who are YOUR critics? Why don't I have a group of critics for my asshole? The answer is because the world doesn't exist in order to check out my ass. Now watch carefully... 'cause I'm going to draw a parallel thought here... you DON'T have "a group" of critics because you and your writing just aren't that important!

 

[Guest]

Re: Re: Sadie dearest

if you say so oh grim Lit poster. I know for a fact the majority of people can not handle dark poetry (unless you are a dead male ie. Poe) Thanks for the welcome but I may not post in this forum much longer.

Yeah, yeah. You're just sooooo intense that we can't handle you and your "dark poetry". As I said before, my asshole is dark and intense, but you don't see me trying to make any claims to fame with it

p.s. It's "cannot" -- one word, not two. Oh wait. That might be too intense!

 

[karmadog]

Why don't I have a group of critics for my asshole? The answer is because the world doesn't exist in order to check out my ass.

How can you post such a thing on a dog's thread? I exist for just such purposes.

So:

A critique of Xtaabay's ass

While dark and intense, Xtaabay's ass is shaped like a flower. Perhaps a Bleeding Heart, or a rare and long sought double-lobed orchid.

From between the cheeks rainbows fly, defeating any smoke that might be obfuscatorily blown. The rainbows, however, are strictly shades of gray, though the reviewer admits that this may be due to his own colorblindness rather than any lack of actual hue in the rainbows.

When the reviewer attempted a 'Coppertone-style' assault on Xtaabay's bikini bottom, he believes he spotted a tattoo. Perhaps a peach, but maybe a tattoo of another, tiny bottom. Xtaabay's angry struggles to retain her bathing suit precluded any real view of said tattoo.

On the whole, a nice, well-loofahed ass with no unpleasant scents, inappropriate hairs, or pimples. The court decrees that Xtaabay must at no time wear pants, except on cold days, when assless chaps would be acceptable.

 

[Guest]

think I cracked a rib!

How can you post such a thing on a dog's thread? I exist for just such purposes.

So:

A critique of Xtaabay's ass

While dark and intense, Xtaabay's ass is shaped like a flower. Perhaps a Bleeding Heart, or a rare and long sought double-lobed orchid.

From between the cheeks rainbows fly, defeating any smoke that might be obfuscatorily blown. The rainbows, however, are strictly shades of gray, though the reviewer admits that this may be due to his own colorblindness rather than any lack of actual hue in the rainbows.

When the reviewer attempted a 'Coppertone-style' assault on Xtaabay's bikini bottom, he believes he spotted a tattoo. Perhaps a peach, but maybe a tattoo of another, tiny bottom. Xtaabay's angry struggles to retain her bathing suit precluded any real view of said tattoo.

On the whole, a nice, well-loofahed ass with no unpleasant scents, inappropriate hairs, or pimples. The court decrees that Xtaabay must at no time wear pants, except on cold days, when assless chaps would be acceptable.

HAHAHAHA! I haven't laughed this hard in a long time! I think I might've cracked a rib. K-dog, I can't believe you'd make me wear assless chaps in the cold! Really! How am I supposed to make snow angels when my butt is exposed?

--Xtaabay

 

[karmadog]

I have a thing for snow angels with pronounced camel toes.

 

[karmadog]

It's been a long time since I did this thread. I have to admit I got a little bored with it. But tonight, I am really bored, so here goes.

Since it's been so long, maybe I should explain the point of this thread to those who may not have seen it.

It started out as a way to emphasize that the title of a poem is important, that too often people just slap a trite title like 'My Lover' or somesuch on their poem and expect readers to discover the genius enclosed within. Then it degenerated into rank silliness. I'm not going to raise the tone now.

Still, I like these titles. I have no idea if I like the poems because I don't read them until after I pick the titles. They are chosen as one line poems, if you like.

Any goofy shit I write after the title should not be taken as an attack on the poem or the author. It's just a joke.

I guess I'm the Emcee at the Title Roast.


Diary of a Whore: Part 1 by nawty48

Tuesday: Walked the street. Rode in cars. Sucked dicks.

Wednesday: Walked the street. Screwed in alleys.

Thursday, Friday, and Saturday: see Tues and Wed.

Sunday: Cut the ass out of jeans, shortened skirts, douched.

Monday: Finally able to sit for extended period of time.

The Wooden Box by mysty_one

Finally, a girlfriend for OT.

She Was A Fan by denis hale

Denis, they warn you to keep your fingers away from those things!

Love Like Butter by HeartofFire

Greasy, fattening, heart attack inducing, slap it on your biscuits love. Sounds pretty good.

Rosebud by peacefulpoetess

It was a sled, wasn't it?

Well, the dog has been doing very little lately. Working. Drinking. Sleeping. Sometimes all in one day, and sometimes just one all day. Well, not working. I gotta tell you though, the people at my job just don't know me at all.

I had a customer come in and mention how I'm always smiling. I told that to my friends and they just laughed and laughed. I don't smile much and I'm a mean ol' bastard.

I guess I've put one over on those suckers.

 

[WickedEve]

It's been a long time since I did this thread. I have to admit I got a little bored with it. But tonight, I am really bored, so here goes.

Since it's been so long, maybe I should explain the point of this thread to those who may not have seen it.

It started out as a way to emphasize that the title of a poem is important, that too often people just slap a trite title like 'My Lover' or somesuch on their poem and expect readers to discover the genius enclosed within. Then it degenerated into rank silliness. I'm not going to raise the tone now.

Still, I like these titles. I have no idea if I like the poems because I don't read them until after I pick the titles. They are chosen as one line poems, if you like.

Any goofy shit I write after the title should not be taken as an attack on the poem or the author. It's just a joke.

I guess I'm the Emcee at the Title Roast.


Diary of a Whore: Part 1 by nawty48

Tuesday: Walked the street. Rode in cars. Sucked dicks.

Wednesday: Walked the street. Screwed in alleys.

Thursday, Friday, and Saturday: see Tues and Wed.

Sunday: Cut the ass out of jeans, shortened skirts, douched.

Monday: Finally able to sit for extended period of time.

The Wooden Box by mysty_one

Finally, a girlfriend for OT.

She Was A Fan by denis hale

Denis, they warn you to keep your fingers away from those things!

Love Like Butter by HeartofFire

Greasy, fattening, heart attack inducing, slap it on your biscuits love. Sounds pretty good.

Rosebud by peacefulpoetess

It was a sled, wasn't it?

Well, the dog has been doing very little lately. Working. Drinking. Sleeping. Sometimes all in one day, and sometimes just one all day. Well, not working. I gotta tell you though, the people at my job just don't know me at all.

I had a customer come in and mention how I'm always smiling. I told that to my friends and they just laughed and laughed. I don't smile much and I'm a mean ol' bastard.

I guess I've put one over on those suckers.

A mean ol' bastard? Well, you have me laughing this morning. Can I borrow the whore's Sunday entry for my diary?

 

[Maria2394]

Eve

A mean ol' bastard? Well, you have me laughing this morning. Can I borrow the whore's Sunday entry for my diary?

Have you ever considered a supplemental career in stand up comedy? You totally crack me up!!! thank you, ( she said) wiping tears of laughter from her face... maria

 

[WickedEve]

The funny one is kdog. Just read back through the thread.

 

[OT]

Diary of a Whore: Part 1 by nawty48

Tuesday: Walked the street. Rode in cars. Sucked dicks.

Wednesday: Walked the street. Screwed in alleys.

Thursday, Friday, and Saturday: see Tues and Wed.

Sunday: Cut the ass out of jeans, shortened skirts, douched.

Monday: Finally able to sit for extended period of time.

The Wooden Box by mysty_one

Finally, a girlfriend for OT.

Perhaps my perspective is tainted by the previous ... but I'm not sure if you're setting me up on a blind date or playing pimp to the poem

Either way -- Welcome back!

O. (not a john) T.

 

[karmadog]

Despite my fur coat...

 

[Senna Jawa]

[...] to emphasize that the title of a poem is important, that too often people just slap a trite title like 'My Lover' or somesuch on their poem and expect readers to discover the genius enclosed within.

My data shows that while there is a positive correlation between the attractiveness of the title and the size of its Literotica readership, it is not clear cut or strong. Also, plain titles, even as plain as "My Lover", are actually popular among Literotica's readers. Literotica has its own quirk. Here poems with crude, vulgar, graphic, repulsive titles are quite popular too, possibly they are the most popular.

 

[Angeline]

If ever a thread deserved a bump, it's this one.

 

[Angeline]

A higher power (in a white bikini top--not naming names) said for us to shut the hell up in this thread... or something like that, so I'm moving all this talk to the review thread clean it up thread whatever thread.

yeah well she told me she doesn't really care. anyway i'm not allowed to make any announcements about her or what thread she's taking over.

 

[The Poets]

yeah well she told me she doesn't really care. anyway i'm not allowed to make any announcements about her or what thread she's taking over.

I still say she can't be funny. She can't be smart and pretty and funny!! No!

 

[Angeline]

I still say she can't be funny. She can't be smart and pretty and funny!! No!

I know her achille's heel. it's name is kate.

lol.

 

[WickedEve]

I know her achille's heel. it's name is kate.

lol.

Kate? Oh yeah, the one you've been having an affair with.


I wasn't suppose to tell that was I?


Okay, I'm being bad.

 

[PatCarrington]

Kate? Oh yeah, the one you've been having an affair with.


I wasn't suppose to tell that was I?


Okay, I'm being bad.

how can you clean up a thread, and then post that?

because you are a mod? that is abuse of power.

i wish to lodge a formal complaint....unless you can talk me out of it.

 

[Angeline]

Kate? Oh yeah, the one you've been having an affair with.


I wasn't suppose to tell that was I?


Okay, I'm being bad.

Kate is number one on my list if I ever turn from my man-loving ways. But Lauren would kill us both first, so it's--yknow--moot.

 

[Angeline]

A happy bump for one of the best threads ever. Start on page 1 and enjoy!