Fuck Emeril

[carsonshepherd]

One of these days I will finish the story that will get me booted from Literotica, and we can discuss this issue in more depth (ha ha).

Shanglan

Errrr.....

 

[rikaaim]

Errrr.....

Yeah, that scared me too, but I was speachless, and didn't want to encourage him further.

 

[Guest]

All I'm gonna say is that I like hearing Emeril say it a lot more than John Madden.

I thought Madden shouted "Boom!"




Becca -


Witty (and painful) and funny as hell!

 

[BlackShanglan]

Errrr.....

Carson, you know the one. You've read the draft.

Nice guy named Will ... ?

Shanglan

 

[carsonshepherd]

Carson, you know the one. You've read the draft.

Nice guy named Will ... ?

Shanglan

Oh, I remember! That's why I !

 

[cantdog]

Just the same. Fuck Emeril. What a donkey.

 

[Guest]

Just the same. Fuck Emeril. What a donkey.

He's a TV food evangelist.

Ick.

 

[cantdog]

Maybe that's the key of it. He crowded some of my faves off the screen, too, on his way up. Of course, one of the Two Fat Ladies died, but I blame him just the same.

 

[carsonshepherd]

He's a TV food evangelist.

Ick.

So that's why I hate him. He also does that thing where he.....

.... stops in the middle of a sentence for a really long time while he....

.... does something else.

Kill! Kill!

 

[Guest]

Maybe that's the key of it. He crowded some of my faves off the screen, too, on his way up. Of course, one of the Two Fat Ladies died, but I blame him just the same.

They were good, weren't they?

 

[cantdog]

Especially the desserts.

My god, those two were such a trip to watch.

 

[Kassiana]

[whine] But I don't WANT to fuck Emeril! [/whine]

Sorry. Had to be said.

Personally, if I'm going to watch a cooking show, I'd rather see one where a real person has to do real cooking for real people and see how s/he does it. You know, where s/he has to use a real kitchen, not one with all the deluxe (read: expensive) gadgets; where s/he is interrupted by kids/partner/work obligations; stuff like that.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Damn. I didn't know we'd lost a Fat Lady. Chef down!

I like "Ready, Steady, Cook." They do get the fresh herbs, but otherwise it's generally cooking quickly with things I am likely to have at hand and techniques that are relatively easy to follow. They taught me to make perfect Yorkshire pudding in 15 minutes - they rock.

(Except that one grubby one who always appears unshaven and makes some kind of burger. How on earth did he get his job?)

At any rate, they can be good fun. The setup (for those unfamiliar) is that the chef get a "stock" pantry of basic items and then get unknown ingrediants from a contestant - usually five pounds worth. The chef must then dish up food in 30 minutes. My favorite episode was when they invited in students and cut the money for the ingrediants back to I think two pounds fifty. One contestant brought a can of lager, a Mars bar, and a pot noodle. Delight

Shanglan

 

[cantdog]

Fresh herbs rule. I grow them around the house in pots this time of year, and outside in the, whaddyacallit. Summer, yeah.

 

[minsue]

Fresh herbs rule. I grow them around the house in pots this time of year, and outside in the, whaddyacallit. Summer, yeah.

You can grow things in the Summer?!?

I love watching the poor folks who just moved to this loverly desert here plant their gardens in the spring. It's just cruel of the home improvement stores to encourage such behaviour.

 

[Guest]

Damn. I didn't know we'd lost a Fat Lady.

Don't make me cry. I loved her, the dark-haired one who smoked.

Perdita

 

[cantdog]

I loved the sure way she rolled and handled pastry, and the manner of their speech together. It was a very cozy show altogether, and they were such craftsmen, if you follow me.

 

[Guest]

Yes, they knew their craft. They were lewd often too, I like that about older women (myself included). P.

 

[cantdog]

A woman of a certain age is suddenly liberated.

"Oh, young man!"

The guy on the Harley turns and gives her his amused attention.

"I've always wondered, when you ride those things. Where do you put your balls?"

A woman merely fifty could never get away with a question like that.

 

[Guest]

A woman of a certain age is suddenly liberated.

"Oh, young man!"

The guy on the Harley turns and gives her his amused attention.

"I've always wondered, when you ride those things. Where do you put your balls?"

A woman merely fifty could never get away with a question like that.

!!!!!!!

Terrific coffee sputter first thing in my morning -

 

[impressive]

A woman of a certain age is suddenly liberated

Warning

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me,
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other people's gardens
And learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at one go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes to keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We will have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practise a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old and start to wear purple.

-- Jenny Joseph

 

[carsonshepherd]

Warning

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me,
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other people's gardens
And learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at one go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes to keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We will have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practise a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old and start to wear purple.

-- Jenny Joseph

Why wait? Do it all now. (Except the purple. Ugh.)

 

[impressive]

Why wait? Do it all now. (Except the purple. Ugh.)

Well, for one thing -- I don't have to make up for the "sobriety of youth" because I had none.

Actually, all these "rebel" things don't hold a candle to no holds (holes) barred sex.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Warning

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me,
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other people's gardens
And learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at one go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes to keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We will have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practise a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old and start to wear purple.

-- Jenny Joseph

I'm going to be the crazy aunt in Christmas Vacation.

 

[BlackShanglan]

I'm going to be the crazy aunt in Christmas Vacation.

I already am, with the exception of course that no one is sure if I'm an aunt or an uncle. I have sixteen cousins and I am pleased to say that all them regard me with a degree of hesitant confusion. I'd say that I was the black sheep, but black horse is so much more stylish.

Shanglan