God Rigs Election: It's Bush In A "blowout"

[Colleen Thomas]

Thank you for the flower. It's the nicest thing that's happened to me today, other than the dog not being hurt during the burglary.

I feel better.

FYI, this completely changes my outlook on capital punishment and torture. Anyone who's even remotely suspected of having glanced at my house today should be executed and disemboweled before the trial.

I might change my mind about that tomorrow, but right now I want EVERYONE involved to be tortured, particularly the glass company guy who hasn't called back.

Welcome to the darkside. You are welcome to stay for a few hours and dream of them getting thiers, but after that you have to go. There is no room over here on the cynical side for someone as caring, compassionate and sensible as yourself.

*HUGS*

-Colly

 

[Somme]

So that explains the Mars mission.

State of the Union tonight. Too bad I have to miss it . . .

Sher* had secret information from the Italians.

The 'address' was worth missing.

 

[shereads]

I didn't realize she was so volatile over supper, but I'm sure she loves you very much! Maybe you should negotiate a little deal...something like a timely supper in return for not inviting folks in through the sliding glass door. P.S. I'd be suspicious that none of her items are moved around too. Maybe that's where you should start keeping your valuables.

-E

Is it odd for a dog to have its own car, and for the car to have those free-spinning hubcaps that the kids call "jordans" and that cost about $7,000? I've also noticed that she doesn't wear her collar anymore, but has a gold chain as thick as my wrist. Kids these days.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Shereads--

Your inbox is full and has been for days.

---dr.M.

 

[shereads]

The burglars cleaned it out for me, Dr. Mabeuse.



Just emptied it. Thank you.

 

[KenJames]

Land mines, KenJames.

Land mines.

Too impersonal. A sword is best.

I'm glad you've still got your sense of humor. That's important.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

dog lives high on hog

Is it odd for a dog to have its own car, and for the car to have those free-spinning hubcaps that the kids call "jordans" and that cost about $7,000? I've also noticed that she doesn't wear her collar anymore, but has a gold chain as thick as my wrist. Kids these days.

maybe we're looking at this from the wrong angle. i'm beginning to lean more toward this...that kind of animal wealth seems a little beyond the reach of two burglaries, wouldn't you say? i'm getting suspicious that she's in on the glass scam with your emergency glass specialists. that would explain the spinning rims and gold chains...leaving me wondering if she's got the means why doesn't she take herself out to supper or hire herself a chef?

***am feeling embarrassed***
after all this joking it occurred to me that I've yet to offer my condolences on a supremely shitty night and unfortunate set of circumstances. sorry and i hope your luck turns around, or at least takes a vacation for awhile

-E

 

[shereads]

Re: dog lives high on hog

***am feeling embarrassed***
after all this joking it occurred to me that I've yet to offer my condolences on a supremely shitty night and unfortunate set of circumstances.

You made me smile instead. Thank you for that.

 

[shereads]

Closing the books on the crime of the century

After multiple phone calls to the Miami PD to learn why the fingerprint tech hadn't been here, and having been up all night waiting for her, I gave up at 5 am, locked my front gate and went to sleep. At 5:15 am, got a call from police dispatcher who was angry with me because I wasn't available when the technician arrived. Stayed home from work to wait for her to come again at 10 a.m., got another irate call at 2 pm to say she'd been here again and I wasn't home...

Found out she'd been to my neighbor's house by mistake; waited another four hours. She showed up with the print kit, looked around at the ransacked house - closet doors open, drawers pulled out of armoire, books pulled off of shelves, clothes and things strewn all over, files in my office/guest room all over the floor...And she asked me,

"What did they touch?"

Me: "What?"

She: "I can't take prints from anything except smooth surfaces. Did you replace the broken glass?"

Me: "Yes...Otherwise, my bedroom wall was open."

She: "You shouldn't have done that. What else did they touch?"

Me: "I don't know, I wasn't here."

She: "Neither was I. If you don't tell me what you think they touched, how do I know where to look for prints?"

{long choked pause, head in hands, sitting on bed, noticing that my very favorite black mesh camisole isn't missing after all, it's peeking out from under the armoire.}

Me: "I don't know...Doorknobs? The closet doorknobs?"

She: "Did they open the closets?"

Me: "Let's just forget it, okay? I need some sleep."

She: "I'm just trying to help, but if you don't care if these people are caught, i can't help you."

Me: "They touched all of the doorknobs. They touched the windows and the doorknobs and other smooth surfaces."

She rolls her eyes, dusts two doorknobs for prints, finds nothing and leaves.

 

[KenJames]

Re: Closing the books on the crime of the century

After multiple phone calls to the Miami PD to learn why the fingerprint tech hadn't been here, and having been up all night waiting for her, I gave up at 5 am, locked my front gate and went to sleep. At 5:15 am, got a call from police dispatcher who was angry with me because I wasn't available when the technician arrived. Stayed home from work to wait for her to come again at 10 a.m., got another irate call at 2 pm to say she'd been here again and I wasn't home...

Found out she'd been to my neighbor's house by mistake; waited another four hours. She showed up with the print kit, looked around at the ransacked house - closet doors open, drawers pulled out of armoire, books pulled off of shelves, clothes and things strewn all over, files in my office/guest room all over the floor...And she asked me,

"What did they touch?"

Me: "What?"

She: "I can't take prints from anything except smooth surfaces. Did you replace the broken glass?"

Me: "Yes...Otherwise, my bedroom wall was open."

She: "You shouldn't have done that. What else did they touch?"

Me: "I don't know, I wasn't here."

She: "Neither was I. If you don't tell me what you think they touched, how do I know where to look for prints?"

{long choked pause, head in hands, sitting on bed, noticing that my very favorite black mesh camisole isn't missing after all, it's peeking out from under the armoire.}

Me: "I don't know...Doorknobs? The closet doorknobs?"

She: "Did they open the closets?"

Me: "Let's just forget it, okay? I need some sleep."

She: "I'm just trying to help, but if you don't care if these people are caught, i can't help you."

Me: "They touched all of the doorknobs. They touched the windows and the doorknobs and other smooth surfaces."

She rolls her eyes, dusts two doorknobs for prints, finds nothing and leaves.

Gives you such confidence in the police, doesn't it?

 

[shereads]

Re: Re: Closing the books on the crime of the century

Gives you such confidence in the police, doesn't it?

It would have, if she had noticed the blood-soaked black leather glove in the driveway. I threw that away, since it seemed useless without its mate.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

sher, did you ever see that episode of Married With Children when Al got sued by a burglar for hitting him in the face (and accidentally fondling him first)?

The burglar told the judge that the whole terrifying experience had scared him for life, he might never be able to steal again!

That's Sweden in a nutshell. Over here, a kiosk owner got sued by a man who tried to break into the kiosk, and cut himself on glass falling through a window. The kiosk owner was actually convicted for not keeping his kiosk safe for thieves to break into.






Al did OK, though. In front of the whole court, he hit the burglar again, in an attempt to double his punishment, but instead he hurt his hand on the burglar's hard jaw, and sued the burglar for hurting his hand.

He won.

 

[shereads]

That's Sweden in a nutshell. Over here, a kiosk owner got sued by a man who tried to break into the kiosk, and cut himself on glass falling through a window. The kiosk owner was actually convicted for not keeping his kiosk safe for thieves to break into.

Really? I thought the U.S. was supposed to have invented the frivolous lawsuit?

Didn't see that on Married With Children, because I keep confusing Al Bundy with Ted Bundy, the serial killer, but I did enjoy a Seinfeld episode that had Kramer suing Starbucks over a scar from spilled coffee. They were prepared to give him millions and a franchise, but Kramer low-balled his demand and ending up with a free latte (tall) every day for life. Best part was his Johnny Cochran-esque lawyer.

BTW, it does sound as if that kiosk was unsafe, but that's easily fixed by installing tempered glass. I'm glad the person who broke my glass door got away unscathed because I'd have blood to clean up now. Ick.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

BTW, it does sound as if that kiosk was unsafe, but that's easily fixed by installing tempered glass. I'm glad the person who broke my glass door got away unscathed because I'd have blood to clean up now. Ick.

Laminated glass does just as good a job at making sure robbers can get in unharmed for only a fraction of the price. You should look into it.

 

[Colleen Thomas]

I would suggest Land mines in the Kisosk. Then when the blown up robber's family sues you can blame the manfacturer for building an unsafe product and thus recoup your losses.

-Colly

 

[Svenskaflicka]

I keep confusing Al Bundy with Ted Bundy, the serial killer

So do I. That's why I get so confused when people talk about the horrible crimes of Ted Bundy.

 

[Guest]

I cracked up when ella said it, now you, Flicka. I can't get the two Bundy's out of my head. Eek!

Perdita

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Well, then again, Al Bundy's favourite TV show IS "Psycho Dad"...

 

[shereads]

Speaking of criminals, this just in from the Washington Post:

Va. Seeks To Leave Bush Law Behind
Republicans Fight School Mandates

By Jo Becker and Rosalind S. Helderman
Washington Post Staff Writers
Saturday, January 24, 2004; Page A01


RICHMOND, Jan. 23 -- The Republican-controlled Virginia House of Delegates sharply criticized President Bush's signature education program Friday, calling the No Child Left Behind Act an unfunded mandate that threatens to undermine the state's own efforts to improve students' performance.

By a vote of 98 to 1, the House passed a resolution calling on Congress to exempt states like Virginia from the program's requirements. The law "represents the most sweeping intrusions into state and local control of education in the history of the United States," the resolution says, and will cost "literally millions of dollars that Virginia does not have."

The federal law aims to improve the performance of students, teachers and schools with yearly tests and serious penalties for failure. In his State of the Union speech Tuesday, Bush said that "the No Child Left Behind Act is opening the door of opportunity to all of America's children."

Officials in other states also have complained about the effects of the act, signed into law in 2002. But Friday's action in the Virginia House represents one of the strongest formal criticisms to date from a legislative chamber controlled by the president's own party.

The House action came after months of complaints from local and state educators that the federal law conflicts with Virginia's Standards of Learning testing program, in place since 1998 and considered one of the toughest in the nation.

No Republicans voted against the resolution, a fact that House Education Committee Chairman James H. Dillard II (R-Fairfax) said is proof that "the damn law is ludicrous."

Here's the rest:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A43173-2004Jan23.html?nav=hptop_tb

 

[Colleen Thomas]

The No child left behind initiative does seem to me to be unconstituional. Education is not laid out as one of the area's the federal government has jurisdiction over. That being the case, according to the tenth amendment that is a reserve power of the states. While congres can get around the amendement by refering to the neccessary and proper clause, it would seem to me that in a state like Virginia where tough state law is already in place the AG would have a hard time proving to the courts that the law is neccesary.

-Colly

 

[KenJames]

Speaking of criminals, this just in from the Washington Post:

Va. Seeks To Leave Bush Law Behind
Republicans Fight School Mandates

. . .

The Texas education reforms, which were the prototype for "No Child Left Behind," were developed by the Texas Legislature during Democrat Ann Richard's administration. Bush wasn't involved, except for signing the final legislation, although he's acted like they were his and his alone.

A lot of Texas educators are unhappy with "No Child Left Behind," because it's based on a flawed educational model and is an unfunded mandate. It is another case of Bush attempting to make his astronomical federal deficits look smaller by dumping costs on the states.

 

[Guest]

It's my job to know the guidelines and requirements of federal funding agencies (e.g., NSF, NEA, NIH, DoEd., etc.) and I can tell you the "No Child" is nearly worthless. All those millions are just unspent political fodder. No child will benefit except to the detriment of education.

Perdita

 

[shereads]

The No child left behind initiative does seem to me to be unconstituional. Education is not laid out as one of the area's the federal government has jurisdiction over. That being the case, according to the tenth amendment that is a reserve power of the states. While congres can get around the amendement by refering to the neccessary and proper clause, it would seem to me that in a state like Virginia where tough state law is already in place the AG would have a hard time proving to the courts that the law is neccesary.

-Colly

I think Ken James is probably right about the motive. Aside from the fact that it makes a perfect campaign slogan (What kind of monster wants to leave the children behind?) it burdens the states with money that would otherwise appear as a line item on the federal deficit.

 

[Colleen Thomas]

I think Ken James is probably right about the motive. Aside from the fact that it makes a perfect campaign slogan (What kind of monster wants to leave the children behind?) it burdens the states with money that would otherwise appear as a line item on the federal deficit.

While I am in general a fan of small government over larger government I can see where education is a broad concern and certainly has implications that might warrant some federal guidelines. That said, in this case I have to wonder if a single policy instigated from Washington can address problems in the education system anywhere near as effectively as it could be dealt with at the local or state level.

Funding aside, it seems to me to be stepping all over the state's rights.

-Colly

 

[minsue]

While I am in general a fan of small government over larger government I can see where education is a broad concern and certainly has implications that might warrant some federal guidelines. That said, in this case I have to wonder if a single policy instigated from Washington can address problems in the education system anywhere near as effectively as it could be dealt with at the local or state level.

Funding aside, it seems to me to be stepping all over the state's rights.

-Colly

Much to my confusion, most of the high-profile legislation that the GOP has turned out over the past few years has trampled states' rights. That brings me back to my oft uttered question, how does the GOP still get credit for being the party of small government and lower spending? I'll give them credit, the Democrat PR machine has got nothing on the Republican one. Truly amazing.

- Mindy