Got a scenerio question

[constantine1979]

I just recently started dating again and stuff. Found me a very cool woman to be with. We was having a conversation about sex and stuff and she told me that she has never had an orgasm. Now according to my girlfriend, she has been with alot of guys of all shapes and sizes. I would think she would have had an orgasm already with any of her previous engagements. But she says she never had one. Then I do my thing with my fingers and she has one.

I kinda find it hard to believe she hasn't had one up until the other night.

What do you guys think?

 

[esorm66]

It's my understanding that it is not at all uncommon for a woman to not have experienced an orgasam.

 

[SweetErika]

Why would you find it hard to believe?

Most women (we're talking around 70-80% here) don't orgasm from penile penetration alone, no matter what the shape or size of the cock. They need the right type of clitoral and/or g-spot stimulation--in addition to being relaxed and in the right place mentally--to come.

I think it's great she was honest with you about not coming with other partners, and hopefully you two can find lots of exciting ways to keep the orgasms flowing (or at least you'll have fun trying).

 

[NippleMuncher]

Many women, whether they are capable of orgasms or not say that it's the intimacy with their partner that's important to them, not the O itself. Men tend to be more the other way, in that we judge "success" as having had an O and/or giving an O to our partner. What does it matter if she has or hasn't O'd with other partners? What's important is that the two of you are having a fulfilling relationship, sexual and otherwise. It is your responsibility as a conscientious lover to make sure she is properly satisfied during your encounters, again, that doesn't necessarily mean and O, but every effort on your part should still be to that end.

 

[constantine1979]

Many women, whether they are capable of orgasms or not say that it's the intimacy with their partner that's important to them, not the O itself. Men tend to be more the other way, in that we judge "success" as having had an O and/or giving an O to our partner. What does it matter if she has or hasn't O'd with other partners? What's important is that the two of you are having a fulfilling relationship, sexual and otherwise. It is your responsibility as a conscientious lover to make sure she is properly satisfied during your encounters, again, that doesn't necessarily mean and O, but every effort on your part should still be to that end.

Ah ok. See I don't have alot of experience with this which is why I posted this but I understand now. I've only done it maybe 4 times in my life. Which brings me to my next problem:

I'm having a problem staying erect. Like I'm all hard and stuff and pleasuring her (haven't had intercourse yet) and I just go limp.

I'm not turned off by her.
I really really like what I see
When she strokes me and stuff I just start going limp and it really sucks. This isn't the first time it has happened either. In my previous engagement 2 years ago I was facing the samething. It was an affair engagement which I attributed to my failing as a penile lover. Now its happening all over again.

My girlfriend thinks maybe I'm afraid to have sex but I don't feel afraid. I'm thinking maybe its because of size issues but I'm trying to get the menatality of "size doesn't matter" in my head. I also think maybe its stress because of my financial situation that I'm in. Or maybe I do have a problem staying hard. I don't know. I know the thought has crossed in her mind along the lines of, "I don't think he wants me like I want him." or "I don't think he finds me sexy." Which I do find her very sexy. I like what I see but I'm just havin hard time stayin hard and it friggin sucks. I can do things with my mouth and hands but when it comes to the lower head, its tapping out already and I haven't even done anything with it yet! I really want to satisfy her but not by doing it one way.

I've also considered tryin out one of them penis pills that you can get online but I'm very weary about ordering something like that off the internet.

http://www.pillsexpert.com/penispills/index.html
https://secure.orexis.com/order/?w=orexis.com&af=13999&pid=null&orpa=tmc.php

What do you guys think?

 

[mjl2010]

Don't buy those ED pills online. For one thing you should have a basic exam first. A little discussion with the doctor wouldn't hurt either.

What exactly are your size issues anyway? Too big, too small, to thin?

If your erection problem is psychological, the pills might not help.

MJL

 

[DrHappy]

Your first and second posts are very different topics.

1st Post I don't know. Does she masturbate? Have her attempts at masturbation be unsuccessful? Maybe she was pulling your leg to get you sexually involved by "helping" her? Maybe she was not comfortable revealing her sexual experience and over compensated in her fib. It's impossible to tell. Talk to her.

2nd post: How old are you? Are you overweight? Are you taking any antidepressants? Are you battling with depression at all? Are you taking any antihistamines? Diabetes and thyroid problems can also cause problems in this area. How much alcohol did you have with you had these problems? Do you have any erection problems while you are masturbating alone?

 

[constantine1979]

Your first and second posts are very different topics.

1st Post I don't know. Does she masturbate? Have her attempts at masturbation be unsuccessful? Maybe she was pulling your leg to get you sexually involved by "helping" her? Maybe she was not comfortable revealing her sexual experience and over compensated in her fib. It's impossible to tell. Talk to her.

She says she's never masturbated which I find hard to believe but then again, who knows.

2nd post: How old are you? Are you overweight? Are you taking any antidepressants? Are you battling with depression at all? Are you taking any antihistamines? Diabetes and thyroid problems can also cause problems in this area. How much alcohol did you have with you had these problems? Do you have any erection problems while you are masturbating alone?

1. I'm 27.
2. I don't think I'm overweight. Well I gotta pot belly thing goin but its not big or anything. I'm at 200 lbs but I'm starting to lift weights more.
3. The only medications I take is ibuprofen and allergy medicine
4. I don't have diabetes or thyroid problems. At least I don't think I do.
5. I rarely drink.
6. No erection problems when I masturbate.

 

[NippleMuncher]

Any number of factors can be inhibiting performance, stress is the number killer. From the info you provided in your second post, it sounds like your dealing more with psychological issues rather than physical, though an appointment with your doctor wouldn't be a bad place to start.

Because this is a new relationship, you've got trust issues, inexperience anxiety, performance anxiety, preconceived notions of what the other is thinking and/or wanting, and a few other things going on. Justified or not, all of this can quickly wilt an erection.

The key to overcoming these issues and developing a fulfilling, lasting relationship is to communicate with your partner, openly and honestly. If you both can't do that, you'll likely continue with the problems at hand and probably create a few new ones to boot. Relax, sex should be fun and enjoyable. Do more intimate things together without the intent of sex occurring, take baths (not shower) together, give each other neck/ back/foot rubs, or body massages.

 

[constantine1979]

I thank you guys for replying but I won't have to worry about this problem anymore. Found out she was more into the materialistic aspects of how much I owned and how much money I had and since she found out that I didn't have alot of money, she was going to do the ignore the boyfriend routine. So I'm pretty pissed off right now.

Thanks for the help though. Its a damn good thing I did have trouble keeping it up lol.

 

[subwannabe]

Sounds to me like you got lucky.

 

[constantine1979]

Sounds to me like you got lucky.

Yep I got lucky. She went back to her old boyfriend who she claimed beat her. I just don't get women? They bitch and whine about there man not treating them right. They bitch about being hit and stuff. They break up with the boyfriend then go out with some nice guy and end up using him and then do the "I'm-gonna-ignore-you-because-you-don't-have-alot-of-money-like-I-thought-you-did," routine. It just friggin sucks. I guess its good that it happened almost a week after we met. If it was 2 or 4 months down the road then I'd be really really pissed.

Its easier being single. I can watch porn and do anything I want. Thats the plus side of being single anyways lol.