Has anyone had D/s pulled into their divorce proceedings?

[MsChele]

Thank you!

I want to thank you all for sharing your experiences. It's nice to know I'm not alone. I'm sorry for what all of you went through. I'm constantly amazed at just how horrible divorce can make a person behave but, you guys all made me feel a whole heck of a lot better about this aspect.

 

[Curious_in_Cali]

It really does bring out the ugliest side of people, *snip*

This is so true. So heart breakingly true.

MUCH comfort to all of you!

 

[HottieMama]

MsChele... Clear out your PM box. I can't answer you!

 

[MsChele]

MsChele... Clear out your PM box. I can't answer you!

Just did, thank you HM. I'm like this at work too. My inbox is ridiculous, but I always swear we are gonna need an email for proof of something. I'm a packrat of the highest order with emails and PM's.

 

[GrimsPet]

I myself thankfully have not been through this. However many years ago when I was a bit more active in my local scene, one of the people was going through a divorce with her Husband and my understanding was it was brought up in front of the judge. In her case she was a budding Dominant and her interests and her Husband's were not matching. She had tried to work out the relationship with him but he wanted nothing to do with being tied down. I'm not sure how that whole scenario ended and how the divorce was finalized by the judge, but I remember someone else in the local scene commenting that he was glad the situation had resolved itself for her sake. By that comment I'm going to assume it came out in her favor.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

MsChele, I can speak from the other side of the coin - yes, the BDSM aspects can, and often will be brought up in court. When I discovered the BDSM world realtime I wanted to explore it with my then wife. She, on the other hand, wanted nothing to do with it. And rather than allow me to explore my budding sadism and dominance in a non-sexual way with another outside of our marriage she demanded a divorce and being a good Catholic girl, she went for the annulment as well.

We did have minor children involved and my soon to be ex- was not being terribly vindictive (in fact the divorce was rather amicable as far as such things can be amicable), but it was brought up and the judge made it very clear that if my ex ever brought accusations and proof to him that my children were exposed to the SM aspects of my life, he'd terminate my parental rights so fast there would be a whip crack. But otherwise, as far as he was concerned it was a non-issue. I stayed VERY careful and closeted until my youngest turned 18. After that, I became much more open about it.

I'm saddened to hear that your soon-to-be-ex is such a total dick. Best of luck and I hope the judge gives you the ex's testicles in a pouch...

 

[JustaguyNJ]

I do have a restraining order in effect for me and for my son. My son is 21 but has significant special needs. He'd wander off with my ex in a second, he doesn't understand the complexities of how dangerous my ex is so my lawyer suggested orders of protection for both of us. I've gone to court every time they need to be renewed armed with hateful texts, emails and letters that seem to be enough for the judge to renew them. Thanks again.

Hang in the MsChele....Sounds like trying times

 

[MsChele]

I myself thankfully have not been through this. However many years ago when I was a bit more active in my local scene, one of the people was going through a divorce with her Husband and my understanding was it was brought up in front of the judge. In her case she was a budding Dominant and her interests and her Husband's were not matching. She had tried to work out the relationship with him but he wanted nothing to do with being tied down. I'm not sure how that whole scenario ended and how the divorce was finalized by the judge, but I remember someone else in the local scene commenting that he was glad the situation had resolved itself for her sake. By that comment I'm going to assume it came out in her favor.

Thank you GrimsPet. I appreciate your sharing this experience.

 

[the captians wench]

I'm so glad that my divorce was smooth and nothing icky in it. Was rather uneventful as far as these things go (thanks mostly to his lawyer who only does happy divorces so he agreed to anything I wanted, and I didn't want much)

Best wishes and happy thoughts.

 

[MsChele]

MsChele, I can speak from the other side of the coin - yes, the BDSM aspects can, and often will be brought up in court. When I discovered the BDSM world realtime I wanted to explore it with my then wife. She, on the other hand, wanted nothing to do with it. And rather than allow me to explore my budding sadism and dominance in a non-sexual way with another outside of our marriage she demanded a divorce and being a good Catholic girl, she went for the annulment as well.

We did have minor children involved and my soon to be ex- was not being terribly vindictive (in fact the divorce was rather amicable as far as such things can be amicable), but it was brought up and the judge made it very clear that if my ex ever brought accusations and proof to him that my children were exposed to the SM aspects of my life, he'd terminate my parental rights so fast there would be a whip crack. But otherwise, as far as he was concerned it was a non-issue. I stayed VERY careful and closeted until my youngest turned 18. After that, I became much more open about it.

I'm saddened to hear that your soon-to-be-ex is such a total dick. Best of luck and I hope the judge gives you the ex's testicles in a pouch...

Thanks so much Evil_Geoff, a lot of what you say resonates with me. This all did start when I asked to explore BDSM and D/s. He initially agreed but then at some point, something changed.

Fortunately, my son is over 21 and due to his special needs, I've always kept him sheltered from this part of my life. I'm fully comfortable to continue on along this path.

I had to laugh at the last line I don't want his testicles or anything else for that matter. I was supporting myself when we met and I'm very happy to keep on supporting myself. Truth be told, I make more than him anyway. (he actually tried suing me for spousal support telling the judge that I'd gotten him accustomed to a better life and now he was used to it, um, hi....try WORKING! You can attain the better life yourself if you work. Moron...lol)

I appreciate your willingness to share your personal experience. It's really making me feel there is strength in numbers. I appreciate it.

 

[MsChele]

Hang in the MsChele....Sounds like trying times

Thanks justaguy, I'm a terminally happy person. He can try to grind me down with this junk but it's just not going to work. I'm a sub dammit, this is childs play! LOL

 

[MsChele]

I'm so glad that my divorce was smooth and nothing icky in it. Was rather uneventful as far as these things go (thanks mostly to his lawyer who only does happy divorces so he agreed to anything I wanted, and I didn't want much)

Best wishes and happy thoughts.

Thank you so much captians wench! I'm so glad for you that yours was uneventful as well. That's the funniest thing about all this. I'm not asking for a thing. I owned my own home when we met, have my own car, my own savings.....he raped me financially but I don't even want that money back, I'll make it back myself and it's a lesson well learned. At this point, I just want a fresh start.