Have my opinion, Want yours before I share

[Bbb13]

I beg all the time for this

 

[Eilan]

*waits for OP to return and share her opinion*

 

[cuddlywife]

Opinion Shared

It was my preconcieved Opinion, that although this is way out of my comfort zone at this time and way into the kinky side of things, I too had not related it to him being or having Gay tendancies.

There are times when he has been really really good to me and I want to pay him back so I will use his massager on him and he loves it. I was just wondering about the transition he wants me to make to wearing it as opposed to just using it in my hands.

Will have to see if I can get comfortable enough to put one on. Just seems a bit on the strange side after all these years of not thinking of anything down their like that.

 

[1dude]

It was my preconcieved Opinion, that although this is way out of my comfort zone at this time and way into the kinky side of things, I too had not related it to him being or having Gay tendancies.

There are times when he has been really really good to me and I want to pay him back so I will use his massager on him and he loves it. I was just wondering about the transition he wants me to make to wearing it as opposed to just using it in my hands.

Will have to see if I can get comfortable enough to put one on. Just seems a bit on the strange side after all these years of not thinking of anything down their like that.

It is out of my wife's comfort zone too but I enjoy anal stimulation so it only happens when I masterbate and she's out of town. Don't just use "his massager on him". Give it a try yourself - it won't make gay!

 

[schoolszone]

If you have ready my threads, you know I am conservative. My husband on the other hand is not so conservative. One of the things he really loves me to do is tease his bum with a massager.

At first it was the outside, then it was a little inserted. Now its all 6 inches of his massager. He loves it and begs for me to do it all the time.

Needless to say, it took me a while to believe what he was asking would feel good. Now he wants to take it to the next level. He wants me to put on a massager so it looks like I am a guy and do him that way.

Question:
Does this mean he does or might have gay tendancies?

No, hes not gay, he just wants you to fuck him. I love when my wife puts on a strapon and fucks my ass. I have no thoughts of being with a guy, just love when my wife takes control and dominates me. He's not gay he just wants you to be in control

 

[CWatson]

I'm about to barge in here and just blather on, so first let me advise you to take everything I say with a grain of salt. I might be totally off-base here.


You've asked about your husband's latent homosexual tendencies or lack thereof. What's important to note about homosexuality is that it has nothing to do with physical desires. It has to do with emotional desires. I'm fairly sure your husband fingers you, or goes down on you--two actions that are hallmarks of lesbian intercourse. Does your enjoyment of those acts make you a lesbian? Certainly not! A sexual activity has no intrinsic orientation value in and of itself; it's just a thing that is done. The question is who is doing it, and who you want doing it.

More importantly, though, I think that the question you are really asking is not what you've spelled out. Your question is not, "Does this make my husband gay"; your question is, "Does this make me weird? Is it too kinky? If I'm willing to entertain this desire my husband has, does that make me a deviant?"

And the answer I would give to you is, Who the hell cares?

There is a certain perception, in addition to the aforementioned one, that what two people do alone together in bed is somehow the purview of public discource. If a man and a woman are having sex, privately, in their own homes, nonetheless this is somehow publis business. The media certainly like to encourage this perception because sex sells, and they can get astonishing mileage out of the fact that Jennifer Aniston, or Leighton Meester, or Robert Downey Jr., has had sex with someone. It is our business, and we are allowed to judge.

This perception is wrong.

What Jennifer Aniston does with [whoever it is she's engaged to now] is no business of mine, yours or the paparrazi's. And, likewise, what you do with your husband is no business of anyone's at all. And what that means is that you should do whatever makes you and him happy. Why on earth not? It pleases him; hopefully you can take pleasure in his enjoyment even if you don't enjoy it too much yourself; who is being harmed here? Who is being hurt? Maybe the public would like to claim that they are, or you are; but they aren't in that bed with you, and they shouldn't be either.

The nice thing about bedrooms is that they have a door you can close, so that behind it you can focus on what really matters in your sex life: your husband's pleasure, and your own. Please, for your own sake, feel free to lock your own insecurities on the other side of that door and embrace what makes the two of you happy. =)

My two cents, worth what you paid for 'em. And, again, my apologies if this little rant has nothing useful to offer you.

 

[1dude]

Well said! I get tired of hearing "what will others think". Your life will be misurable if that is your first thought about everything.

 

[cuddlywife]

I'm about to barge in here and just blather on, so first let me advise you to take everything I say with a grain of salt. I might be totally off-base here.


You've asked about your husband's latent homosexual tendencies or lack thereof. What's important to note about homosexuality is that it has nothing to do with physical desires. It has to do with emotional desires. I'm fairly sure your husband fingers you, or goes down on you--two actions that are hallmarks of lesbian intercourse. Does your enjoyment of those acts make you a lesbian? Certainly not! A sexual activity has no intrinsic orientation value in and of itself; it's just a thing that is done. The question is who is doing it, and who you want doing it.

More importantly, though, I think that the question you are really asking is not what you've spelled out. Your question is not, "Does this make my husband gay"; your question is, "Does this make me weird? Is it too kinky? If I'm willing to entertain this desire my husband has, does that make me a deviant?"

And the answer I would give to you is, Who the hell cares?

There is a certain perception, in addition to the aforementioned one, that what two people do alone together in bed is somehow the purview of public discource. If a man and a woman are having sex, privately, in their own homes, nonetheless this is somehow publis business. The media certainly like to encourage this perception because sex sells, and they can get astonishing mileage out of the fact that Jennifer Aniston, or Leighton Meester, or Robert Downey Jr., has had sex with someone. It is our business, and we are allowed to judge.

This perception is wrong.

What Jennifer Aniston does with [whoever it is she's engaged to now] is no business of mine, yours or the paparrazi's. And, likewise, what you do with your husband is no business of anyone's at all. And what that means is that you should do whatever makes you and him happy. Why on earth not? It pleases him; hopefully you can take pleasure in his enjoyment even if you don't enjoy it too much yourself; who is being harmed here? Who is being hurt? Maybe the public would like to claim that they are, or you are; but they aren't in that bed with you, and they shouldn't be either.

The nice thing about bedrooms is that they have a door you can close, so that behind it you can focus on what really matters in your sex life: your husband's pleasure, and your own. Please, for your own sake, feel free to lock your own insecurities on the other side of that door and embrace what makes the two of you happy. =)

My two cents, worth what you paid for 'em. And, again, my apologies if this little rant has nothing useful to offer you.

You know I understand what you are saying. But I was not analyzing the entire lifestyle or judging anyone regarding this. In all honesty, I am trying to get myself a little understanding of where my husband is coming from so that I might make the time together that much better. All I am trying to do is get some info on subjects I know little or nothing about.

One thing about sites like this is that no matter what you do, their is always someone their to judge you for not knowing or understanding or being tollerant when they have no tolerance for others either. In this case no tolerance for someone to is just trying to learn. It makes me not want to ask questions because its not worth the bagage.

I do appreciate your comments. Thanks.

 

[monkeyman057]

One thing about sites like this is that no matter what you do, their is always someone their to judge you for not knowing or understanding or being tollerant when they have no tolerance for others either. In this case no tolerance for someone to is just trying to learn. It makes me not want to ask questions because its not worth the bagage.

Please continue to ask questions. Everyone has an opinion. The best thing about internet forums is that you're free to ignore the ones you don't like.

I think it's great that you want to know more about it in an effort to help your husband realize his fantasy. Lots of men enjoy the kind of play that you're talking about. I'm not sure that there's any way to move it more into your comfort zone other than just doing it and seeing how much he enjoys it. Go slow. Be gentle. Have fun with it. He will enjoy it a lot more if he thinks you are enjoying it as well.

 

[subwannabe]

I think your main fear here is that you perceive that these "gay" tendancies could threaten your marriage or relationship at some point in the future, I.E. - if he were really to be gay and would eventually want to experience a real gay relationship. Maybe it's never been in your mind but most people fantasize about same sex relationships at one time or another. But, there is a big difference between fantasies and reality. I have some wild fantasies that really turn me on but in reality I wouldn't ever really want them to happen. Having said that, I can tell you from my own experiences, sometimes a man just wants to get fucked by his wife and there isn't one eyota of gayness about it. From the way you post about your relationship I don't think you have anything to worry about. Just enjoy yourselves and realize that many people have fetishes.

 

[monkeyman057]

...sometimes a man just wants to get fucked by his wife...

lol, send them my way. I'll introduce them to my ex. Probably not the kind of fucking they want...

 

[njlauren]

You know I understand what you are saying. But I was not analyzing the entire lifestyle or judging anyone regarding this. In all honesty, I am trying to get myself a little understanding of where my husband is coming from so that I might make the time together that much better. All I am trying to do is get some info on subjects I know little or nothing about.

One thing about sites like this is that no matter what you do, their is always someone their to judge you for not knowing or understanding or being tollerant when they have no tolerance for others either. In this case no tolerance for someone to is just trying to learn. It makes me not want to ask questions because its not worth the bagage.

I do appreciate your comments. Thanks.

I think a lot of people are reacting to what you wrote because of the way many, especially religious conservatives, put sex into narrow boxes, that if you aren't doing it old whitebread vanilla missionary position sex you are a pervert or whatever......in the raving rights descriptions about gays, it is funny, it always comes down to the act of anal sex with them, they obsess about that, it is like they think that all being a gay male is about anal sex...it would be like saying a married straight couple are only about sex, when of course they aren't .....keep in mind we have a major religion that teaches any sex besides vaginal sex is a major sin (masturbation/ Petting/oral sex/anal sex...better get the asbestos underwear ready) and to go to anal sex with your husband....well...

Quite honestly, it is like a lot of things in life, why bother to ask why, just sit back and enjoy it. Does this mean hubby is really gay and soon will be hanging out in the triangle club on a sat night in chaps? I doubt it, there are a ton of 'pegging' videos out there and they are aimed squarely at the straight crowd......it can be a fantasy of his to swap roles with you, it can be he finds getting fucked erotic, but quite honestly, even if you role played being a guy with him, somehow, 'fucking his gal', you would still be a woman having sex with a man, it isn't the same thing. As Freud once said,a cigar is sometimes just a cigar

 

[mistletoe1963]

Your husband has discovered one of the most powerful erogenous zones in the male body. It will give him more pleasure than all the external zones put together.
You love him and want him inside you, and he loves you and wants you inside him.
If he was gay/bi he would want a man inside him instead of you.
You could try sharing the pleasure by getting a double ender so that both of you can be penetrated at the same time.

I love his cock in my ass, what mind blowing pleasure...my hunnie rather enjoyed the vib, and we are hopefully going to the next step, with perhaps a strap on, but I like the idea of the double ender as well...why shouldn`t he enjoy ass play as well?....no gay tendencies there either...enjoy!!!