Help me out on this....

[Mistress]

all of a sudden you hear......
















It's a Small World

 

[doctor_insanus]

*Veins bulging ominously on his forehead*

Aaaarrrrgggghhhhhhh!!!!

Truly, the DIABOLICAL ORGANIST WHO JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE (DUN DUN DUN!) MISTRESS must be the greatest evil ever! Can even our combined power thwart her?

*Glances at his newfound ally and Kevin Smith clone*

Shit. No chance in Hell... hmmmm...

*His fiendish mind calculating his next move*

After you, my fiendishly furry friend...

*Sinister music as his eyes narrow*

Is there any hope for the world?

Can Ravenloft and Doctor Insanus overcome the DIABOLICAL ORGANIST WHO JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE (DUN DUN DUN!) MISTRESS?

Will we be forced to endure horrid organ music for all time?

Well, if we told you, there wouldn't be any point to reading this thread... would there?

Oh wait... never mind.

 

[Mistress]

tune switches to: When The Saints Go Marching In









(Hey I'm limited in what I can play)
DUN dun DUNNNNNN!!!!!

 

[doctor_insanus]

At last! I have deduced my purpose here!

*Thinking quietly to himself, so as not to alert Ravenloft*

My long search for ultimate insanity is over! The DIABOLICAL ORGANIST WHO JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE (DUN DUN DUN!) MISTRESS is the key! Continued exposure to her playing will drive me to the brink of madness... and beyond!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

*Grins wickedly at the camera*

And these unshaven fools don't suspect a thing! It's all too perfect!

*Reaches once again into his cast iron boxer shorts, pressing an unseen button*

Yessss... it's all coming together so nicely! Play on, Mistress!

*Dun Dun DUNN!!*

Will the evil Doctor Insanus succeed in his new plan?

Will Ravenloft uncover the sinister plot before it's too late?

Will Valdimer crash into a tree?

And what the hell's the deal with the gorilla mask?

For answers to these questions and more, stay tuned!

 

[Mistress]

Sighs and pops a tape of *Gasp* Brittany Spear songs played by a oragan in the sterio and goes off to take a nap








DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN!

 

[doctor_insanus]

Hmmmm... hey, Ravenloft! Look!

*Slips away while his back is turned*

Bwa ha ha! It works every time!

*Grimaces as Britney Spears rings through the darkened hallways*

Ahhh... truly evil, Mistress. I commend you!

*Begins winding through the secret lair, desperately searching for the DIABOLICAL ORGANIST WHO JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE (DUN DUN DUN!) MISTRESS*

If I can discover her before my befuddled companions, I can finally achieve my lifelong goal!

Play on, Mistress! I'm coming for you...

 

[Valdimer]

*Dragging jadedpast along*

What the hell is goin on here?

*Further pursuing their lifelong passion of finding the DIABOLICAL ORGANIST WHO JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE (DUN DUN DUN!) MISTRESS, we stumble acrossed her*

*Val takes a drag of AFTER SEX PICKER UPPER EVEN WHEN YOU CAN'T GET IT UP cigarettes that she had in her pocket*

Man. that hit the spot, I tell ya.

*Holds DILDO OF MIGHT AND THE GAPING VAGINA MASTURBATION LUBRICATING HAIRY DEVICE in front of him*

Dont make me use this agian!!!! The event can be EARTH SHATTERING!!

*Looks to the DIABOLICAL ORGANIST WHO JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE (DUN DUN DUN!) MISTRESS, and awaits her answer....*

 

[Valdimer]

I've had about 8 or 9 beers. I'm trying to come up with some really wacked out shit..... bear with me, lol, (chuggs beer)

 

[doctor_insanus]

Nooo! This must not be!

*Tense, dramatic music as he winds through the narrow hallways*

How can this miscreant stumble upon the DIABOLICAL ORGANIST WHO JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE (DUN DUN DUN!) MISTRESS so quickly?

This calls for drastic measures...

*Rounds the last corner, comes face-to-face with Valdimer and jadedpast*

STOP! Stand aside, or I will be forced to use my greatest invention!

*Reaches into his cast iron boxer shorts, removes THE DOCTOR INSANUS FOOLPROOF HOME PREGNANCY KIT!*

Yes! THE DOCTOR INSANUS FOOLPROOF HOME PREGNANCY KIT! With this ingenius device, I can cause spontaneous pregnancy in anyone... including YOU, foolish Valdimer!

*Holds it before him, menacingly*

Last warning, my heroic but foolish adversary... stand aside!

Just what the hell is gonna happen next?

Will Valdimer end up in a... motherly way?

Will Doctor Insanus manage to join forces with DIABOLICAL ORGANIST WHO JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE (DUN DUN DUN!) MISTRESS and finally achieve true insanity?

Who knows? Well, you will... if you stay tuned!

 

[Ravenloft]

Its all a matter of genetic unpredictabilty, Insanus... When all you have is a man ramming his dick into your ass for years and years... Well... Your body sorta gets the clue and starts producing eggs... Didn't you watch Jurasic park? Didn't you watch that movie where Arnold got pregnant?! You FOOL! Val is ready to DROP! RIGHT ON YOU! ALL THE GOO AND EVEN THE MUCUS PLUG! THEY WILL ALL BE YOURS TO DEAL WITH INSANUS!

Val is the master of squatting births...



Its almost... ALMOST like scat, only ickier!

A gush of liquid... Ew... And hours of screaming and "controled" breathing... Is that what you really want to look up at Insanus!?

A lesser man would run screaming!

I, on the other hand would look up and say: "Would you LOOK a that! Weird! Glad she does that SHIT and not me..."

Oh, I'm proud to be a ma-an, at least that girl ain't me...

Okay, folks... Multiple orgasms may be nice... But I don't think I want to squeeze a pineapple out an oriface the size of a NORMAL apple...

How about that?! Envy AND respect ALL IN ONE!!!

Is that not INSANE!

*Organ: Dun dun DUN!*

 

[doctor_insanus]

I see your point, my ally-turned enemy-turned ally-turned enemy!

However, I will be long gone by the time your fur-covered counterpart produces his horrid offspring!

Ha ha ha ha!

Feel free to squirt to your heart's content, Valdimer! See you in Hell!

*Activates THE DOCTOR INSANUS FOOLPROOF HOME PREGNANCY KIT*

Feel the sickening effects of my evil genius... and despair!

 

[Mistress]

OH Dear God What Is This?

THE DOCTOR INSANUS FOOLPROOF HOME PREGNANCY KIT has been tampered with! Not only does Val start to feel the sickness rush through his now not so manly body, but so does Ravneloft and the Doctor!

Yet strangly enough, DIABOLICAL ORGANIST WHO JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE (DUN DUN DUN!) MISTRESS, and the beautiful Jadepast have not been effected!

Mistress quickles grab's Jadedpast's arm and pulls her away from the sickning site of the men mutating.

Twas you I wanted the whole time!
Muhahahahahahaha!




What is in store for the men?

Will Jadedpast go freely with DIABOLICAL ORGANIST WHO JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE (DUN DUN DUN!) MISTRESS?

Or will she stand her ground and help the mutating men?


Stay Tuned, DUN DUN DUNNNNNN!

 

[doctor_insanus]

You truly are the greatest evil of them all!

Come, my allies-turned enemies-turned allies-turned enemies-turned allies once more! I may be able the counteract the horrendous effects of THE DOCTOR INSANUS FOOLPROOF HOME PREGNANCY KIT before we are all doomed!

Damn you, DIABOLICAL ORGANIST WHO JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE (DUN DUN DUN!) MISTRESS! Damn you, and your evil scheme!

This is not over, my dear... not by a long shot!

Nya ha ha ha ha... oh, dear God... quickly, men!

 

[Valdimer]

GAHHH!!!

I'M PREGNANT??

*Looks to Dr. Insanus and Ravenloft*

Which one of you is the father? I cant take care of this kid alone you know!!! I need child support from each of you!!

*Looks to camera*

What the fuck. Did I just say that?

*Shakes head, takes drag of those really cool after sex pickeruper cigarettes Jadedpast had in her pocket*

Well, Dr. Insanus, it appears we are on the same side......for now....in the mean time, HOW THE HELL DO YOU REVEARSE THIS DAMN PROCESS???

Will Valdimer have a boy?

Will Dr. Insanus reverse the effects of his diabolical pragancy device?

Is Ravenloft masturbating?

Tune in next post!!

 

[Guest]

Jadedpast eagerly goes with DIABOLICAL ORGANIST WHO JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE (DUN DUN DUN!) MISTRESS..... after all.... Its in the script. From deep in the organ's cavern .....they stand there... transfixed as the three studly men are advancing in their pregnancy at an alarming rate



Grateful not to be pregnant, jadedpast gives the DIABOLICAL ORGANIST WHO JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE (DUN DUN DUN!) MISTRESS a great big kiss on the lips


With you guessed it (DUN DUN DUN) Tongue


Will Val, the doc, and Ravenloft be able to stop the pregnancy before labor pains set it?

Will they give birth thru their penises?

Will this thread ever end???

Stay tuned

 

[Mistress]

Upon receiving the kiss DUN DUN DUN with Tongue from Jadepastpast the DIABOLICAL ORGANIST WHO JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE (DUN DUN DUN!) MISTRESS felt faint yet would not give in to the erotic and tingling emotions flooding her evil body. They must get away before they see the sickening sight of these men giving birth!!!!


Off to the Bat...errr Mistress Mobile!


Copping a feel of the beautiful Jadedpast's ass they hurry through the twisty caverns!

Will Jadedpast and the DIABOLICAL ORGANIST WHO JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE (DUN DUN DUN!) MISTRESS get it on in this thread?


Will the men give birth do to the tampered DOCTOR INSANUS FOOLPROOF HOME PREGNANCY KIT ?


What will they name their bastard children?

Who will pay the child support?

And more importantly, isn't a foolproof home pregnancy kit supose to tell you whether or not you are pregnant instead of making you pregnant?


Will these ever be answered?



TO BE CONTINUED!

 

[doctor_insanus]

Quickly, men! There's no time to lose!

*Begins fumbling through his laboratory*

Hmmm... let's see... a little bit of this... some of that... shake well... a little tobasco... and...

BOOM!

Ha ha! At last!

*Holds up a small beaker full of an evil green fluid*

Since I am the evil scientist, I will of course test it...

*Drinks part of the fluid, begins gagging*

Arrrgghhh! The pain... mommy...

*Shakes violently*

Success! I am cured! Unfortunately...

*Smiles menacingly at Ravenloft and Valdimer*

I'm afraid there's only enough of the solution for one more person... and I lack the ingredients to formulate another dose!

*Dun Dun DUNN!!*

Who will experience the joys of motherhood... Ravenloft or Valdimer?

Will Doctor Insanus ever succeed in his quest to find true insanity?

Will he ever score?

Will the DIABOLICAL ORGANIST WHO JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE (DUN DUN DUN!) MISTRESS and Jadedpast complete their strange bisexual journey?

Will we be able to watch?

I don't know! What do I look like, a freaking psychic?

 

[Ravenloft]

*Staring that do gooder Valdimer down, Ravenloft makes a break for the tube of evil green liquid.*

"MINE! ALL MINE! MUAHAHAHAH!!!" He screams as he grabs the vile away from the MAD DOCTOR, and promptly drinks it down, all while Valdimer falls to his knees with his first wave of contractions!

"What do you think Doctor? Do you think he will make it without a cisarian?!" Ravenloft askes with mild amusment as he watches Val writh in pain.

"Quick! The girls are escaping!!!" Stepping directly over Val, Ravenloft makes his way after the EVIL women!

 

[doctor_insanus]

Just remember to breathe! Ha ha ha ha!

*Follows Ravenloft*

Will the (latest) alliance between Ravenloft and Doctor Insanus last?

Will they catch the evil women in time to stop their horrific scheme? Or at least, to watch their horrific scheme?

How will Valdimer deal with motherhood?

Stay tuned! And be sure to drink your Ovaltine!

 

[Guest]

Being careful so not to be noticed.... Jadedpast quickly doubles back with the DIABOLICAL ORGANIST WHO JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE (DUN DUN DUN!) MISTRESS..... and quickly drops to her knees to check on the ever worsening condition of Val


Do you think we should operate Former DIABOLICAL ORGANIST WHO JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE (DUN DUN DUN!) MISTRESS NOW TURNED OB/GYN FOR THIS ONE PART OF THE EPISODE ONLY?



Will Ravenloft and the evil Doctor turn back?

Will Jadedpast and the DIABOLICAL ORGANIST WHO JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE (DUN DUN DUN!) MISTRESS NOW TURNED OB/GYN FOR THIS PART OF THE EPISODE ONLY forget all about Val and consumate their bi-sexual relationship?

Will Val give one of the cast members the baby they always wanted? Is the evil doctor the father... errr mother?

Stay Tuned

 

[doctor_insanus]

Ha ha! I knew it!

*Steps back into the room. Immediately, huge double-strength iron doors slam shut behind him*

I knew you couldn't resist such tempting bait! Now, you are my prisoners!

*Smiles at the writhing Valdimer*

You have my thanks, my unsuspecting pawn! Now... PIPE DOWN!!

*Glancing at Jadedpast and the DIABOLICAL ORGANIST WHO JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE (DUN DUN DUN!) MISTRESS NOW TURNED OB/GYN FOR THIS ONE PART OF THE EPISODE ONLY*

Now, ladies, what do you think of them... I mean, those... apples?

Has the evil Doctor Insanus finally succeeded in capturing Jadedpast and the DIABOLICAL ORGANIST WHO JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE (DUN DUN DUN!) MISTRESS NOW TURNED OB/GYN FOR THIS ONE PART OF THE EPISODE ONLY?

Or will their feminine ingenuity allow them to escape yet again? (God, I hope not!)

What will become of Valdimer?

And, where's Ravenloft?

Tune in for the next exciting episode!

 

[Guest]

not to be outdone by the evil doctor so quickly..... jadedpast slides her hand into her pocket and pulls out............ AN EXTRA HUMANLY LARGE NUBBED PENIS SLEEVE and captures the evil doctor inside

Now you and your partner can have that extra added pleasure

Quickly DIABOLICAL ORGANIST WHO JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE (DUN DUN DUN!) MISTRESS NOW TURNED OB/GYN FOR THIS ONE PART OF THE EPISODE ONLY.... we have to save Val and his unborn baby.




Will they get the baby out of val before its too late?

Does Lamaz breathing really work?

Will Ravenloft try to stop them?

Will anyone enjoy the nubbed penis sleeve????


Find out on the next episode....

 

[Mistress]

I'm afraid we will have to do a C-Section!


DUN DUN DUN!

Doc, for the Gods' sake help this man, or else you wont get to see any more of this! Eyes the EXTRA HUMANLY LARGE NUBBED PENIS SLEEVE WITH THE DOCTOR IN IT Will you?

Grabbing Jadedpast's breasts and kissing her deeply the DIABOLICAL ORGANIST WHO JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE (DUN DUN DUN!) MISTRESS NOW TURNED OB/GYN FOR THIS ONE PART OF THE EPISODE ONLY uses....



DUN DUN DUNNN tongue!

 

[doctor_insanus]

*Looks in shock at AN EXTRA HUMANLY LARGE NUBBED PENIS SLEEVE, which he has somehow been captured in*

What? How? I mean... what?!

*More pathetic moaning from Valdimer*

Dammit... SHUT UP!!!

*Watches as the DIABOLICAL ORGANIST WHO JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE (DUN DUN DUN!) MISTRESS NOW TURNED OB/GYN FOR THIS ONE PART OF THE EPISODE ONLY uses....

DUN DUN DUNNN tongue!

...to kiss Jadedpast*

Oh, dear God... they've got me.

*Sighs*

Very well, ladies. I'll see what I can do.

Can Doctor Insanus pull Valdimer and the mystery love-child through?

Is this all just another cruel joke on the part of Jadedpast and the DIABOLICAL ORGANIST WHO JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE (DUN DUN DUN!) MISTRESS NOW TURNED OB/GYN FOR THIS ONE PART OF THE EPISODE ONLY?

And... where in the Hell is Ravenloft?

Uh... beats me!

Mmmmm... tongue...

 

[doctor_insanus]

*sigh*

Figures. We finally get to the hot babes kissing action, and everyone cuts out...

Not to mention Valdimer's about to drop.

*breathes deeply*

All the planning... all the scheming... for naught.

*glares evilly at the camera*

You haven't heard the last of me. I'll never quit! NEVER!

*carted off by two large men in white jackets*