Help me out on this....

[LAVA GODDESSS]

In a futile attempt to make it look like she has her mind made, Lava goes for the gold....er...back track...

Lava innocently smiles and nods in submission, after all...she has no choice...with a yelp from a nearby Killer Ass Pinch from a Killer Ass Pinching Baboon....Lava hears a voice in the cave...

It is....(drum roll please) Doctor Insanus! Was he part of the evil plan? Or was he already bearing the insane Clone babies?

Next time on the Rocky and Bullwinkle sho...er....*grin* I mean...please stay tuned...

 

[doctor_insanus]

What the hell's goin' on around here?

*Staggers through the darkness, finally emerging in the KILLER ASS GRABIN BABOON's lair.*

Now, wait just a damn minute here!

*Sees LAVA GODDESSS*

Huh? What? I mean...

Hey, baby! How's it goin'?

 

[Valdimer]

What the hell?

*Sets Jadedpast down*

Come my feathery pshycadelic angel! We must stop Dr. Insanus and his evil plan for total world domination!

*Raises DILDO OF MIGHT*

By the powers vested in me, by the state of insanity, so shall I go and rid the world of those EVIL KEVIN CLONES!!!!

*Grabs Jadedpast's boob, er I mean hand(hehe)*

To the Rustmobile!!

 

[Simply Me]

I had no idea that when you started this last night, it would still be going, lol. Guess you got your wish!

 

[doctor_insanus]

I see you've uncovered my nefarious plot to rule the world. Of course, that means I must keep you here as my prisoner...

*Alarms sounding*

Curses! Those meddlesome do-gooders again! Bah!

*Turns toward a large monitor that suddenly appeared from out of nowhere*

Activating the automated defense system! This should kill them quite nicely!

Bwa ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha...

 

[Guest]

Looks at photos of the gorgeous men here...

 

[Mistress]

Geez LMAO!

 

[Guest]

How are we going to stop him oh great and gorgeous Val?

*bats eyelashes*

Is the Dildo of Might enough to stop him???


and what exactly do we Do with the Dildo Of Might?

 

[doctor_insanus]

Re: Looks at photos of the gorgeous men here...

*and rubs eyes*

"I've found my moving buddy." -- Little Bo Peep, "Toy Story"

You guys are yummy.

Bah! Don't be seduced by their boyish charm! They will fall before me just the same!

Nyah hah hah hah!

And don't get any ideas about that friggin' dildo! I have numerous defenses in place!

*Points to his cast iron boxer shorts*

Now... onto the next phase of my evil plan!

 

[LAVA GODDESSS]

"Hello Doctor.." Seductive tone of music...*hehe*

"I am doing well...minus...the ..EEP! Random pinches on the...EEP!"

"He wants me to become the mother of the destruction of the world...do I take the offer?"

*suspense music*

 

[doctor_insanus]

Well... hello there...

*The lights dim noticeably*

I can assure you, their way will lead to the destruction of civilization as we know it!

*Ominous music*

The only way I can save the world... is by ruling it!

Join me! It is the only way!

 

[Ravenloft]

NO! I am the only one who can rule the world! NONE OTHER BUT I SHALL REIGN TERROR UPON THE FOOLISH MORTALS (never mind that Im mortal too... Shhhh...) WITH THE PERVERSE MIGHT OF MY...

*DUN DUN DUN!!!*

EVIL MUTATED KILLER ASS GRABIN BABOONS WHO JUST SO HAPPEN TO HAVE THE FACE OF KEVIN SMITH!!!!*

*Gasping for air as I pull the lever to reveal my latest creations.*

Go my children! Go and Rape the lands and Pillage the women!

Let no stoner be unturned! Let no fig leaf be unlifted!

Anarchy! ANARCHY ALL!!!!

bwahahahahahaha!!!

*Tune in next post to find out who is the better mad man... The Doctor or... The DORK!!!*

*Intermition*

 

[doctor_insanus]

Ha ha ha ha! Pitiful!

Your EVIL MUTATED KILLER ASS GRABIN BABOONS may have THE FACE OF KEVIN SMITH, but...

*The music builds to a crescendo*

I have acquired... THE BRAIN OF KEVIN SMITH!!

*Horrible shrieking*

Bow to my evil genius! Nya ha ha ha!

Your cause is lost... there is no hope for you!

Now... where did I put that damn brain? I know it's around here somewhere...

 

[Guest]

Maybe its in your cast iron boxers doctor.

 

[doctor_insanus]

No... that's where I keep my super-secret ultimate weapon!

*Looks into the camera with an evil grin*

Aha! Here it is...

*Holds up a large glass jar with KEVIN SMITH'S BRAIN inside*

Surrender now! Or else, I will unleash the full power of my evil genius!

 

[Valdimer]

*Grabs thread and launches it to the top*

My insano rocket boosters will get me to that Neferious Dr. Insanus!

*Gasp*

KEVIN SMITHS BRAIN?!? HOLY SHIT!!

Is the world doomed?

Will Ravenloft's plan take affect?

Will Dr. Insanus get chaffed from his shorts?

Tune in next post loyal readers!

 

[doctor_insanus]

Ha ha ha!

At last, you begin to understand! My evil is without limit!

Unless you surrender, you will be forced to endure...

"Jay... and only Jay! Because Silent Bob is Fucking DEAD!"

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

*Holds the glass jar high, KEVIN SMITH'S BRAIN sloshing around inside*

The choice is yours!

 

[Ravenloft]

Hahahah!!!

You dumb bastard!

Do you really think I would have let you obtain the TRUE brain of KEVIN SMITH so easilly?!

No! NOT I, you fool! What you have in your all too gullible hands... IS THE BRAIN OF JOEY LAUREN ADAMS!

Can you not SEE!

Muahahah!

GO MY LOYAL EVIL MUTATED KILLER ASS GRABIN BABOONS WHO JUST SO HAPPEN TO HAVE THE FACE OF KEVIN SMITH!!!!

Go now and slaughter this MADMAN WANNABE! Do it for your master! Do it for DADDY!

YES YESSSSSSSSSSS!

COBRA!!!!!!!!

*Turning toward Lava as my loyal EVIL MUTATED KILLER ASS GRABIN BABOONS WHO JUST SO HAPPEN TO HAVE THE FACE OF KEVIN SMITH decend upon the NOT SO MAD, MAD DOCTOR INSANUS!*

And now... As for you... Lets see to the insemination of the EVIL MUTATED KILLER ASS GRABIN BABOONS WHO JUST SO HAPPEN TO HAVE THE FACE OF KEVIN SMITH DEMON SEED INTO YOUR WOMB!

NO ONE, AND I MEAN NO ONE COULD BE AS MAD AS I!

NO ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[doctor_insanus]

Poor, pathetic excuse for a psychopath...

*Holds up the head of Stan Lee*

Gaze upon the face of true terror... and despair!

Face front, true believers! Excelsior!

*A 50-foot tall robotic tripod bursts through the wall*

Kill all these motherfuckers! Uh... except for the womens!

 

[Valdimer]

STAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!


NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

You vile bastard! How could you!! Killing the greatest comic creator in the world?!?

*Shakes fists as he falls to his knees*

Why god! WHY!

*Wipes tears from eyes*

You......you.........bastard!

*Pulls out Dildo of Might*

*Shakes it wildly at Dr. Insanus*

BEHOLD!!

The special powers of the DILDO OF MIGHT!

*Gives it a few strokes*

*Giant gushes of sticky white goo come out, engufing the tripod of terror, forcing its gears to jam up*

*CRASH!!!*

*Walks galiantly toward Dr. Insanus, shaking DILDO OF MIGHT*

And now for you, vile nemisis!!!

 

[~melia~]

I had no idea that when you started this last night, it would still be going, lol. Guess you got your wish!

Neither did I, but its getting interesting.

*Pulls up a chair and grabs some popcorn* This is great! lol

 

[doctor_insanus]

Most impressive, my furry adversary...

But not enough, I'm afraid!

*Pulls out an ominous-looking tube*

Behold... the ultimate weapon!

*Squeezes the tube. A large stream of KY jelly explodes across Valdimer, covering him in its lubricating greasiness*

Try and catch me while you're covered with THAT shit! Ha ha ha ha!

*Turns to face Ravenloft*

Unhand her, my other furry adversary!

*Throws a small latex condom at him. It expands and engulfs him, temporarily confining him in its rubbery embrace*

Ha ha ha ha! Come with me, my would-be ally!

*Grabs Lava and begins making his escape*

Will the evil Doctor succeed in his schemes? Will the world ever recover from the loss of its greatest comic creator?

How the hell should I know? I'm as clueless as the rest of you!

Stay tuned!

 

[doctor_insanus]

Hmmm... things seem to have come to a temporary halt. Guess I'll pack it in for the night.

I just know things are gonna be completely FUBAR when I return. Looking forward to seeing what develops, actually...

Hehe... and maybe I'll score! At last...

 

[Ravenloft]

Foolish Doctor! You should have known! Whenever I use a condom, it breaks!

*Doing a double take as the condom breaks open right on cue.*

What a perverted way to us a prophilactic!

Your MADNESS is astounding!

BUT NONE SHALL BE GREATER THAN I!

BOO! GET HIM!

*Suddenly from the other end of the hall, a fifteen foot tall miniature GIANT space hamster blocks Insanus's escape.*

UNHAND THE FUTURE KEVIN QUEEN!

*I demand, as boo advances, its maw open and dripping with rodent spit...*

Will this be the end of the MAD DOCTOR?

Will Lava be the mother of an army of EVIL MUTATED KILLER ASS GRABIN BABOONS WHO JUST SO HAPPEN TO HAVE THE FACE OF KEVIN SMITH CLONES???!

Does Boo brush?

Will Val ever recuperate from being doused in KY jelly?!

Or will he shave his head, join the circus and make a living, scull fucking hypo's, drinking Moosehead with all the other carnies while they travel from state to state?!

*Organ: Dun dun DUN!!!*

 

[SunnyGirl]

I think I accidentally wandered into the loony bin..someone care to show me the exit?