Help the g/f orgasm

[drovkin]

I've been dating this girl for a year, and we've been having sex for most of the relationship. She has time and time again told me that I'm the best that she's had, and judging from her reactions during sex, I do believe her.

However

She's never been able to have an orgasm during sex. She can easily have one when I go down on her, or use my hand on her, but it's different for sex. I've heard that a lot of women have to "learn" how to let themselves have an orgasm during sex, and I think this is the case here. She says it's borderline feeling amazing/hurting, so that when she gets to the point she thinks she should orgasm, she doesn't know what to do, and she stops me and this flood of emotion comes over her and she just doesn't know how to deal with it. Being a guy, I really don't know what to tell her to try.

Have any of you ladies had this problem before, and figured out a way to learn how to finally reach that point?

Thanks for the help.

 

[LadyJeanne]

A lot of women can't come from penetration alone. There's nothing wrong with her if she can't.

If she says she gets really close, maybe that's when she (or you) could add a little clit stimulation to what you're doing to bring her over the edge.

 

[Eric N.]

My first post.Get her a Hitachi Wonder Wand,it works Great! The only down side is all the screaming. And dont forget the G-spot.

 

[Elenia26]

I have come a total of one time from penetration alone. At 29, I've pretty much decided it's not happening...

I also second the Magic Wand, though.

 

[Mary Hall]

Why are guys so hung up on the fact a girl may not orgasm, it`s not the end of the world

 

[misspatiant]

I've been dating this girl for a year, and we've been having sex for most of the relationship. She has time and time again told me that I'm the best that she's had, and judging from her reactions during sex, I do believe her.

However

She's never been able to have an orgasm during sex. She can easily have one when I go down on her, or use my hand on her, but it's different for sex. I've heard that a lot of women have to "learn" how to let themselves have an orgasm during sex, and I think this is the case here. She says it's borderline feeling amazing/hurting, so that when she gets to the point she thinks she should orgasm, she doesn't know what to do, and she stops me and this flood of emotion comes over her and she just doesn't know how to deal with it. Being a guy, I really don't know what to tell her to try.

Have any of you ladies had this problem before, and figured out a way to learn how to finally reach that point?

Thanks for the help.

I know this sounds awfully far fetched but its true, it took me years to finally have an orgasm and when it happened i wondered what the hell had happened!
It didnt happen again for another couple of years and then it finally hit me where i was going wrong and i decided to experiment with different ideas etc. and now wellllllll try and stop me.
Anyway have fun trying

 

[yoshimitsu]

I would love to help your G/F orgasam.
I agree with LadyJeanne, if she starts getting close have her start masterbating or you start rubbing her clit and see if combining the two helps.
I also don't know how much variaty you guys have tried but maybe try different psoitions, speeds and angles and see if you can find spots that reduce the unpleasant feelings and increase the pleasant ones.
One thing I love to do that you might try is to give her oral (If she's multi orgasmic give her a couple small ones, if she is not just get her as close as you can without her getting off) then have sex for a while and when you can tell she is getting into it go back down on her and get her really close to orgasam but before she cums start fucking her again. Keep doing this for a while. For my girlfriend it really builds things up. It is also stimulating different orgasams but the desire and the hornieness builds them both up. For us it doesn't matter if I decide to push her over the edge through oral or intercourse either way it leads to a good cum for her. After that she will continue to be pretty easy to get off. both ways.
This may help, it may not but either way you should have fun doing it.

 

[bullaford]

She says it's borderline feeling amazing/hurting, so that when she gets to the point she thinks she should orgasm, she doesn't know what to do, and she stops me and this flood of emotion comes over her and she just doesn't know how to deal with it.

Perhaps the feeling is too intense and she honestly doesn't know what to do. Maybe she is scared of what you are making her feel.

I agree with LadyJeanne, when she gets to that point, instead of stopping reach between you and add some clit stimulation. Also, reinforce to her that it is okay to let go, that she is okay.

Hopefully that will work for you, let us know how things work out.

 

[TBKahuna123]

SOunds to me like she's worrying about it, and that makes her tense up and stops her from orgasming. I'm not sure that's what's happening, but that's my deduction. I'd also say try Lady Jeanne's suggestion. I'll bet that once you push her over the edge the first time, she'll start to relax and that will make it easier for her to climax.

Some women simply can not climax from penetration alone. usually though, if you throw in a little clitoral stimulation, that will help them reach their peak. At least in my experience.

 

[Eilan]

At the risk of being repetitively redundant (apologies to those who have already posted in this thread), I'm going to throw in a couple of cents here.

Like LadyJeanne said, a lot of women can't orgasm through PIV sex. Others have mentioned things that the two of you might try to help her. For me, it's all about what position my husband and I are using. He can thrust away all night, but unless the position and angle are just right, it'll feel good, but it won't put me over the edge.

I'm confused about the borderline feeling amazing/hurting. I guess I just don't understand why there should be pain (even borderline) involved.

It sounds to me like your GF's having trouble "letting go." That's something that I had trouble with for a long time. I was worried that I might have a stupid look on my face or that I was making too much (or not enough) noise.

Just remember that this has nothing to do with either of your sexual abilities.

 

[Straight-8]

Cock ring

Try lots of foreplay and use a nubby cock ring.

 

[TBKahuna123]

I'm not sure the nubby cock ring will have much effect. I guess I'm agreeing with those who think clitoral stimulation is the answer.

I mean, hey, can you really EVERY go wrong with clitoral stimulation?

 

[butterfly_rosen]

Getting off

I think you should have a drink or two to help her relax a little. Talk about the situation. Talk to her prior to this and make sure it is ok, but Have her wear a black silk mask over her eyes, and use something soft to tie her down. Having her eyes covered will increase the other senses and she will be able to focus more on what she is feeling. While she is tied gently rub her body down with the tips of your fingers. Lick her body down. Give her plenty of foreplay! Then get a very small vibe like Fukuoku 9000 Massager, to help with the clit stimulation while having sex. I am assuming that she doen't own any toys, but really I think she she is afraid of what you will think if she lets go! Anyways it is worth a try!

Rose

 

[drovkin]

I'm confused about the borderline feeling amazing/hurting. I guess I just don't understand why there should be pain (even borderline) involved

That's what I was confused about too, but that's what she said. It only happens when we go doggy type position, she said, "It's like you hitting that one spot over and over, and it's the right spot, I know it is...but then again, you're sitting there hitting the same spot hard over and over, and that's why it's border line hurting"

I don't know, I know it's nothing wrong with my sexual ability, b/c I've easily got her farther than any of her previous b/fs, so I'm no worried about that

And I know everyone says I can get her off with a clit orgasm, but I do that all the time already, and I wanted her to experience something a little different, I dunno, just wanted her to feel the full range of pleasure that her body will allow her

 

[ickle_stace]

That's what I was confused about too, but that's what she said. It only happens when we go doggy type position, she said, "It's like you hitting that one spot over and over, and it's the right spot, I know it is...but then again, you're sitting there hitting the same spot hard over and over, and that's why it's border line hurting"

I don't know, I know it's nothing wrong with my sexual ability, b/c I've easily got her farther than any of her previous b/fs, so I'm no worried about that

And I know everyone says I can get her off with a clit orgasm, but I do that all the time already, and I wanted her to experience something a little different, I dunno, just wanted her to feel the full range of pleasure that her body will allow her

with practice, rubbing the clit whilst you're inside her will give her a clitoral and a vaginal orgasm as the same time. well atleast thats what i assume, I have both wen i have a toy inside me and i touch my clit while i do

 

[TBKahuna123]

That's what I was confused about too, but that's what she said. It only happens when we go doggy type position, she said, "It's like you hitting that one spot over and over, and it's the right spot, I know it is...but then again, you're sitting there hitting the same spot hard over and over, and that's why it's border line hurting"

DING! The bell just went off in my head. I know, I know I sound like a broken record here, but this sounds like you are hitting her g-spot to me. My wife tells me that when we do it doggy style, it hits her g-spot, and she get sthe same sensation as when I manually work her g-spot. Now it's nowhere near as intense, but many women explain the build up of a g-spot orgasm just like this, pain/pleasure combined.

I have an experiment for you. Head over to this thread and try the technique listed there. See if she has the same reaction. if so, then you know that's what's happening. If you can give her a g-gasm through manual stimulation, maybe the sensation will become familiar to her and she will be able to relax enough to cum from just the stimulation of penetration.

It might help, it might not, but there's really nothing to lose, except a few hours of you life spent playing with her pussy. I know that's a big sacrifice, but take one for the team.

 

[drovkin]

so, if that's a g-spot orgasm, what's the other vaginal orgasm everyone is talking about? It seems like anything else would be just because i'm rubbing up against her clit

 

[Eilan]

so, if that's a g-spot orgasm, what's the other vaginal orgasm everyone is talking about? It seems like anything else would be just because i'm rubbing up against her clit

Dunno. My vaginal orgasms are g-spot related.

 

[yoshimitsu]

Theres nerves all over the place in there. I had never heard of the A spot untill reading that thread but that's theoretically one, then right around the entrance of the vagina there are a lot of pleasure points. Sometimes my girlfriend cums hard if I lightly finger her cervix a bit too. In fact the best orgasams I usually her is by exploring as much of the vagina as possible while giving her oral. play around with the back wall between her vag and ass, then move up to her cervix (If you can reach it. I am assuming some women can be farther up but my girlfriends is within finger reach), move to the sides, and finally to the front, (both concentrating on that gspot area as well as exploring the rest of the frontal wall. Bring your fingers down to the opening and just lightly play around with it. Sloly poke in and out. Play with the inner and outer laybia. I don't know that a woman can have a labial orgasam but they can do a lot for building twards one. They have lots of nerves and are very sensitive to light and firm touch.
Most of all pay attention to her breathing, and body movements. If you can tune yourself in well enough with her body you should be able to tell when you hit a good spot or a bad one as well as finding techniques that work better.

 

[TBKahuna123]

Well I doubt it would be anywhere near as intense from penetration as it would be from direct stimulation, but it could still be an orgasm fired off by hitting her g-spot. Like Yoshi said though, there are nerves everywhere. It's just the way you described it made me think of the descriptions of a g-spot orgasm.

 

[yoshimitsu]

Damn I was going to link you to a thread where I already wrote this but I can't find it.

Start with the rest of her body. A massage would be a great way to start. Otherwise just sexy rubbing and touching. What you want to do is focus on building her desire. This is also a rough outline, you will need to adjust it to your situation and keep it dynamic. Do the same thing over and over and it looses its appeal real quick.

Stroke her hair behind her ear, once you get to her ear very lightly run your hand down along the back of her ear, continue sliding your hand lightly down her neck untill it touches her shoulder. Pull her into you, kiss her on the lips (once or twice or for ten minutes, as long as it's hot it doesn't really matter) pull back a little and kiss the curve of her jaw then down a bit to where her jaw meets her neck. Next move to her ear and lightly kiss it moving from the top to the bottom and then kiss slowly down her neck. (This is all completely dependant on her reaction. She should start seeming really into it. If not try something else or ask her how she is feeling). My girlfriend (and I think most women would agree) loves to have her ears touched and kissed so I will use one hand to play with an earlobe, nipple, or other sensitive part.
Slowly move down to her breasts (Remember your trying to build lust and desire) lightly touch them and kiss them. Think feather touches, or if you have one use a feather along with kisses and touches. Read her body language and breathing to find what techniqes she likes the most.
Start moving down her belly to that little valley where her belly meets her hip. Start very light kissing and sucking and start to increase pressure and suck harder, see how she reacts. Other than orgasam I have gotten by far my most intense sensations from this area as has my girlfriend. It seems to be a very sensitive spot. Keep her wanting more and take your time getting to her clit. Even then tease it a bit before diving in. Spend lots of time on her labia as well as her clit. I also love to tonge her as deep as possible. I find it so erotic. Start fingering her while your eating her out. Again using her breathing and body language to find the best spots. Explore inside her vagina leaving no stone unturned (Make sure she knows beforehand to tell you if anything feels unconfortable and also to not hesitate to speak up if you find a good spot.)
Play with her Gspot and get a feel for it, if you can give her a gspotgasam great but it's not the most important thing in the world. Find as many good buttons as you can and remember their location so when your having intercourse you can aim for those good spots.
Well in my experience she should be cumming by now. Or even better bring her right up to the point of orgasam and then slow down just to the point where your sort of maintaining a preorgasam buildup. If you do this for a bit when she lets go it should be good.

Maybe you already do or know a lot of this stuff but these are all important switches which can help a lot to activate the sexual sensor and orgasam centers. I think that desire is one of the most important things. Make her want to cum so bad that for her not to would be unthinkable. And make her want the moment so bad she is no longer thinking about what it will take to cum, or what if or what about.

I would also love to hear if any of this helped. Feedback is most appreciated.

 

[Halo_n_horns]

Alright. I'll tell it again ...

One of my exes was a woman who had never had an orgasm when we started dating. When she told me about that it became my life's mission to get that taken care of for her. It took me nearly three months to get to the night that it would happen. And there was a tremendous amount of learning and patience on my part in getting to that night.

This lady was definitely no prude. We experimented with a broad spectrum of sexual delights in those first few months. What she didn't realize was how much I was into her and her body's pleasures and how much I was teaching myself about her.

Finally the night arrived. We had grown trusting and comfortable with one another, and she had no idea what I was planning. I started with a full body massage and red wine. That was followed up with a light dinner and an equally light dessert. Wine was a constant throughout the evening, but not in any over-indulgent quantities. Aside from a few moments during the massage there was no sex play of any kind. After dinner we relaxed and talked sweet nothings to one another for a bit, and then I massaged her temples for a bit before going to bed.

By that time she was very, very relaxed.

I massaged her temples some more until she fell alseep. Then I waited. I gave her a good 20-30 minutes to make sure she was in a very sound sleep. It took me another 5-10 minutes to maneuver myself under the covers and get between her legs without disturbing her. With my tongue and the index and middle fingers of my right hand I slowly, very slowly went to work on her. After a while her body was reacting. Her breathing was getting heavier, her hips were unconsciously moving with me (I knew that because it was a very laxidasical kind of movement that wasn't like when she was awake), and an occasional sigh would escape from her mouth in a near whisper. Slowly I increased my efforts and intensity.

I'm not sure how long I was at it. She crashed out at roughly 10 o'clock. It was shortly before midnight when she screamed out of her sleep calling my name, shuddering and quaking with her legs clamping down around my head while she was gripping the sheets with both hands tight enough to pull a couple of the corners up.

I stopped and let her catch her breath. She pulled me to her and hugged me. Her roommate came to her bedroom door, knocked and asked if she was alright. She replied that everything was great.

She asked me if there was anything that she could do to thank me and I simply responded that she already had. That was great night.

After that it was still a challenge to get her off, but it was far from impossible.

So, basically, you need to find your comfort zone, stop thinking about it so much, it'll happen when things are right and get easier from there.

Good luck.

 

[yoshimitsu]

That's awsome Halo.
I love fooling around with my girlfriend when she is asleep. She does the same things. She starts humping the air, moaning and really seems to be enjoying it. Then right around the time I start getting really horny seeing her squirming around she wakes up, kicks me and rolls over.
She really doesn't like getting woken up and so far I have found no way around it.

 

[Halo_n_horns]

That's awsome Halo.
I love fooling around with my girlfriend when she is asleep. She does the same things. She starts humping the air, moaning and really seems to be enjoying it. Then right around the time I start getting really horny seeing her squirming around she wakes up, kicks me and rolls over.
She really doesn't like getting woken up and so far I have found no way around it.

Patience, Yoshimitsu. Do not give up.

 

[Elenia26]

Damn Halo, you make me want to fall asleep in the same bed as you.