What’s the furthest you’ve been from fun while it was right under your nose?
Kids in my social circle have mostly started or finished college now, and so over the last couple years I’ve had a lot of time thinking about my own time there, both for reminiscing and for mining advice to pass on. And that tangented into dwelling on how many times I basically had someone have to tell me that someone was hitting on me.
After much contemplation about my missed connections during those years, I believe peak cluelessness was this:
There was a couple I had lunch with for a couple semesters. I can’t even recall their names anymore but let’s go with Cathy and Tom. Cathy was adorable. Your first read was human golden retriever, until she made dirty jokes. Very Kendra from Hailee and Kendra. I worked out they had a girlfriend girlfriend, who I also thought was nice, concurrent with them having asked me a lot of questions including ones like how do I feel about threesomes. I had by not long after that point fully worked out that Cathy had a little crush going on me. But not whether or how I intended to use this information. But this was before cellphones, on a big campus, the semester ended and we no longer were in the dorms so easy encounters dried up. I would see them at an all ages bar for games occasionally and that was it.
What that little idiot with my name didn’t know was that they took him on about three dates, with not so much as a goodnight kiss. Oops. That probably explains why we didn’t keep in touch much after we hung out a few times. Message sent and received. Sorry guys. You really were lovely. And oh my poor roommate, who just looked on in consternation.
TL;Dr I dated a throuple looking for a polycule and didn’t even notice.
Kids in my social circle have mostly started or finished college now, and so over the last couple years I’ve had a lot of time thinking about my own time there, both for reminiscing and for mining advice to pass on. And that tangented into dwelling on how many times I basically had someone have to tell me that someone was hitting on me.
After much contemplation about my missed connections during those years, I believe peak cluelessness was this:
There was a couple I had lunch with for a couple semesters. I can’t even recall their names anymore but let’s go with Cathy and Tom. Cathy was adorable. Your first read was human golden retriever, until she made dirty jokes. Very Kendra from Hailee and Kendra. I worked out they had a girlfriend girlfriend, who I also thought was nice, concurrent with them having asked me a lot of questions including ones like how do I feel about threesomes. I had by not long after that point fully worked out that Cathy had a little crush going on me. But not whether or how I intended to use this information. But this was before cellphones, on a big campus, the semester ended and we no longer were in the dorms so easy encounters dried up. I would see them at an all ages bar for games occasionally and that was it.
What that little idiot with my name didn’t know was that they took him on about three dates, with not so much as a goodnight kiss. Oops. That probably explains why we didn’t keep in touch much after we hung out a few times. Message sent and received. Sorry guys. You really were lovely. And oh my poor roommate, who just looked on in consternation.
TL;Dr I dated a throuple looking for a polycule and didn’t even notice.
