How Do I Swap Girlfriends With My Buddy?

[PhaonsBrother]

I'm absolutely infatuated with my best friend's girlfriend. He and I have been close since we were kids. It started as a joke between us, "I wish we could swap for a week." Then he admitted to me that he's more attracted to my girlfriend than his. I'm not into swapping, don't want to share sex partners. I want his girlfriend to live with me and be mine and he wants the same of my girlfriend. We don't have a plan of action. I know his girlfriend is into me, the problem is my girlfriend might just say, "Fuck off" and then I'll have someone and he'll be alone. I'm sure he'd rather do nothing than have no one.

In theory this is a fairly scummy thing to do, but it's not fair he met my future wife before I did. My girlfriend is loyal, sexy, but I know I'm not going to marry her. We don't make sense together in ten years time. Should I tell her that he wants her, try to gauge whether she's even attracted to him? I know she thinks he's entertaining. I need to pull this switcheroo. My girlfriend is fun, but his girlfriend has life companion traits.

 

[LaRocha]

Fuck yer buddy. Two is better than one, take 'em both.

 

[jtf71961]

hint around to see how she feels about him. Ask her if she thinks he is attractive.

 

[Kaminatosai]

This is an interesting dilemma.
Seeing that I am a girl, I would know how most girls would feel about this situation.
I would see how she feels about YOU FIRST.
If she also agrees that the relationship is not going any where, then I would initiate if she would be interested in seeing other people.
There's really no "good way" to tell someone that you're not the one for them..
But sometimes you have to be selfish and say to yourself that you come first. I would do whatever it takes to get what I want in life because I have to live it. No one else does.
I can see that you care a lot about her still even though you don't want to be with her anymore.
But you have to live your own life, not worry about hers.
And your friend is okay with it.
Just make sure that you two will still be friends no matter what.
He might still have feelings for his current girlfriend and jealousy will spark a lot of conflict.

 

[coastal-boy]

hottub...no clothes...lots of alcohol?

 

[newtoplease]

i somewhat agree with Kaminatosai

you need to be honest with your current GF.
I'm 23 and last sept my partner of 2 years broke up with me. I was devestated... I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with him

BUT

in hindsight best thing ever.
he didn't want to spend the rest of his life with me - so all in all he was just wasting my time and I his.

you need to be fair on your gf here. Don't just stay with her cos you don't want to be without someone... that's not fair on her. If she thinks you are the one - you need to set her straight and tell her you can't see a future in 10 years time for you both.

as for your mates gf = life is all about being the right two people at the right time in both of your lives.... if your mate isnt keen on his gf... well tell him the same advice i gave you. then its fair game so you can go with his if thats what you really think is meant to be!

 

[cryforme1v]

all i can say is both of you are peices of shit for putting your girlfriends in a situation like this.
If you dont want to be with someone - then dont.
Leave her before she gets hurt.

 

[Lil_Squish]

I think the fact that you're both staying with your current gf's because you're afraid of being alone... is pretty low and cowardly. Stop wasting their time, stop leading them on and making them think its all ok. If you dont want to be with them, let them move on and find someone who cherishes them and really can see a life together with them.
You cant "swap" girlfriends if they dont want to be swapped. They arent objects to be traded and screwed around with. These are women with hearts and feelings. Stop toying with them.

Sorry for the bluntness but it seems pretty clear cut to me

 

[PhaonsBrother]

For me it's not about the fear of being alone. I'm in love with this other girl and I want to figure out a way to make her mine. No matter what my girlfriend isn't going to like what happens, I'm trying to save my friendship and get the girl. I know I'm using my girlfriend and manipulating my friend. I'm not trying to be a total asshole about it.

 

[specter170]

Take her back to the store. Be sure to have your receipt otherwise they may only give the sale price. Grab the one you really want.

 

[PublicAffection]

If you are meant to be with her (the other girl), then there will come a time in your lives when you are single, she is single, your friend gives you his blessing to ask her out after he's gotten over the breakup and then you and she will go to coffee and feel things out.

Your idea of pushing your girlfriend onto your friend and snatching his girlfriend from her relationship is a horrible one on many levels, and while it may seem like it's all going to be fine and dandy on mental paper I can almost guarantee you that the whole thing will blow up if you attempt it and you will end up alone with no friend, no girlfriend, and no prospect to date the other woman.

 

[LaRocha]

Yeah, there's no reason to try and swap, just dump your girlfriend. If the other girl wants you she'll break up with your buddy. Or, the two of you can share her, live together and take turns.

Jesus, you don't even know if her pussy is good or bad? Worst plan ever. I'm sure she's got a great personality, but you can't know if some girl is marriage material until you get her all sweaty and naked.

 

[subwannabe]

You can't force people together if it's not meant to be and if you do, it's not going to work out anyway. You are overanalyzing this. You can't treat this relationship any different than any other relationship. Let all of your feelings be known, including the girls, and whatever happens, happens. If you and her make it work and the others don't then so be it. Let's say for the sake of arguement you find your true love and it doesn't work out for your buddy. Apparently it wasn't working out for him anyway so he's no worse off. Actually he would be better off because he can then invest his time and money in finding MRS. Right.

 

[jtf71961]

If you are meant to be with her (the other girl), then there will come a time in your lives when you are single, she is single, your friend gives you his blessing to ask her out after he's gotten over the breakup and then you and she will go to coffee and feel things out.

Your idea of pushing your girlfriend onto your friend and snatching his girlfriend from her relationship is a horrible one on many levels, and while it may seem like it's all going to be fine and dandy on mental paper I can almost guarantee you that the whole thing will blow up if you attempt it and you will end up alone with no friend, no girlfriend, and no prospect to date the other woman.

I agree with this way to go, if you feel you dont have a future with your girlfriend, then you are both wasting your time. Break up with her, if your friend's girlfriend feels she doesnt have a future with your friend, she will break up with your friend. I also would just jump on dating his girl immediately either. Once you are all broken up I would approach your friend and ask him if he minds you calling his ex and tell him you do not mind him calling your ex. If he says it is ok, then go for it. By doing all this you will avoid any hard feelings between anybody and keep friendships, because once a friendship is burned, it really truely can not be repaired!

 

[horgasm]

JERRY: All right. So I tell Sandy that I want to have a ménage à trois with her

and her roommate.

GEORGE: That's right.

JERRY: And you believe this course of action will have a two-pronged effect.

Firstly, the very mention of the idea will cause Sandy to recoil in

disgust, whereupon she will insist that I remove myself from the

premises.

GEORGE: Keep going.

JERRY: At this point, it is inevitable that she will seek out the roommate to

apprise her of this abhorrent turn of events.

GEORGE: Continue.

JERRY: The roommate will then offer her friend the requisite sympathy even as

part of her cannot help but feel somewhat flattered by her inclusion in

the unusual request.

{George takes over.}

GEORGE: A few days go by and a call is placed at a time when Sandy is known to

be busy at work. Once the initial awkwardness is relieved with a little

playful humor, which she [Laura] of course cannot resist, an invitation

to a friendly dinner is proffered.

JERRY: Huh. Well, it all sounds pretty good. There's only one flaw in it:

They're roommates. She'd have to go out with me behind Sandy's back.

She's not gonna do that.

{Another pregnant pause. George?}

GEORGE: You disappoint me, my friend. Sandy wants nothing to do with you. She

tells Laura, "If you want to waste your time with that pervert, that's

your problem."

{Final pause. Jerry?}

JERRY: It's a perfect plan. So inspired. So devious. Yet so simple.

GEORGE: {George, finger in the peanut butter jar}: This is what I do.

 

[Epmd607]

"Ross remained married to Carol, but their sex life was stagnant. He doesn't seem to realize Carol is a lesbian. When Ross suggests to Carol that they have a threesome, she not only is all for it, but has the perfect woman: Susan. While sitting on the couch, Ross expresses to Carol that he's nervous about the threesome and asks her if she is still willing to go through with the plan, to which she excitedly and rapidly replies "Yes!". Susan knocks on the door and Carol greets her all the while not taking their eyes off each other. Carol and Susan hold hands as Susan takes off her coat and hands it to Ross while Carol introduces them, all the while not losing eye contact. Later at the hospital, Ross tells Joey about the threesome in a bragging manner to which the conversation later dies down to him explaining how he got "bored" in the process and ended up making himself a sandwich. Ross is forced to accept that his wife is gay."

 

[Carnevil9]

I was going to suggest the Seinfeld Gambit that horgasm posted. It's your only chance. Either that, or the hot tub and lots of alcohol approach.......Carney

 

[newtoplease]

I know I'm using my girlfriend and manipulating my friend. I'm not trying to be a total asshole about it.

Mate (hmm that's a little Australian of me) you are being an asshole. By not telling your gf what is going on in your head and that you don't have feelings for her you ARE being a dick. Regardless of whether you try or not! The fact you have recognized this and posted on here makes it so... to become un-asshole-ish tell the gf and let things work themselves out.

 

[irishwoody]

Ehhhh. You dont.

Its a ill conceived idea to try act upon - either keep that in fantasy land or just be truthful and break up with your GF if she is not for you.

 

[PhaonsBrother]

I'm like a reality TV dating star, I've got love for both girls. I actually told the other girl I'm gonna marry her on Saturday, we were a little drunk, she smiled and let me hug/grope her for a minute then she said to be quiet and ran away. I had a bad cold on Sunday and my girlfriend was sweet to me, so I've decided to stay with her until she finds out I'm into her friend. I'm listening to Stephen Stills man, love the one your with, and keep secrets from her.

 

[Lil_Squish]

Before:

My girlfriend is loyal, sexy, but I know I'm not going to marry her. We don't make sense together in ten years time. Should I tell her that he wants her, try to gauge whether she's even attracted to him? I know she thinks he's entertaining. I need to pull this switcheroo. My girlfriend is fun, but his girlfriend has life companion traits.

After:

I'm like a reality TV dating star, I've got love for both girls. ---- I had a bad cold on Sunday and my girlfriend was sweet to me, so I've decided to stay with her until she finds out I'm into her friend.

Do you love her or not. If not, let her go now. Stop being a selfish prick

 

[Firebrain]

I'm like a reality TV dating star, I've got love for both girls. I actually told the other girl I'm gonna marry her on Saturday, we were a little drunk, she smiled and let me hug/grope her for a minute then she said to be quiet and ran away. I had a bad cold on Sunday and my girlfriend was sweet to me, so I've decided to stay with her until she finds out I'm into her friend. I'm listening to Stephen Stills man, love the one your with, and keep secrets from her.

What are you, like, four?

 

[WindsorKnot]

this happened before to friends of mine; one just made a move on the others girl, both couples break up as a result, couple weeks of bad mouthing followed by the other guy taking the "leftover" girl. Admittedly this was in their early 20's if not late teens but might work out fine. Both couple's are still together after years.

 

[cfuhrer]

My .02¢

Here's how I would approach it.

You and your buddy need to dump the girls your with; don't tell them you have someone else in mind, just that you don't want to be with them anymore.

Give it a week or two.

Then each of you place a "I hope you dont mind I got your number from X and I'd like to take you out." phone call to the girl you want, and take it from there.

 

[PhaonsBrother]

All four of us are fairly immature. That's why I want to make the grown up decision to not just marry my current girlfriend because she's gorgeous. This other girl is a little plain looking, tiny boobies, like a six on her best day. But she's exactly what I'd want in a wife. I guess I'm just gonna have to kick it with my current girl for a while longer, hopefully she won't get pregnant or start dropping hints about engagement. I figure I'm gonna have to wait for this other girl to come to me, let her drop my buddy for me, but she's pretty meek so I've probably got another year of treading water.