How Intentional Are Your Sex Scenes?

[anthrodisiac]

Before I started writing erotica, I hadn't really considered the narrative impact of position and actions as anything more than "this seems sexy, let's do that." Now that I'm actually writing it, though, I'm putting a lot of consideration into whether or not to have oral, what kind of foreplay, who's doing what, what position, what are the other body parts doing, all (okay, most) with an eye on narrative impact, what it reveals about a character, things of that nature.

I'm curious how much thought goes into deciding how the arc of the sex will play out in any given story. How much of it for you is steamy id "this is sexy" vs. big-brain ego "narratively, this is the ideal position and chain of events to showcase the relationship and character dynamic."

Where do you fall on the spectrum? What are the main considerations that go into a sex scene for you?

I wouldn't be surprised if someone's asked more or less this same exactly question, but I couldn't easily find a thread on this specific topic, so... Here it is.

 

[YmaOHyd]

I'd like to think my process is big-brain narrative structure first, then finding a way to make them maximally steamy within those confines, but I'm sure that's also the most pretentious great taste? less filling? why not both? self-aggrandizing answer.

Sex scenes are the only time I think about the audience. I write whatever the hell I want to write, and my shit is wordy and over-descriptive and usually filled with people talking at length about nothing because I like writing it and when I read it back I enjoy reading it. When I put a sex scene in, it's going to be a struggle for me to write, and I want the juice to be worth the squeeze, both for the author and the reader.

Sex scenes, I guess, are my way of trying to tell the audience yeah, I know what you're here for and it ain't all this talky stuff. I know that, left to my own devices, I'd just write 10,000 words of talking and describing, then fade to black all the sex. One of the reasons I liked April's Fool more than Plugged In is that I think I did a better job doling out sex scenes in a way that felt natural for the characters, gave the audience something at regular intervals to keep them invested, and ended in a big ha-ha climax. Plugged In is very dry and descriptive for a long time and the sex doesn't have a ton of room to breathe. I felt like I had to try to punch up the final scene in that story to meet expectations and end on a high note.

 

[TheExperimentalist]

Before I started writing erotica, I hadn't really considered the narrative impact of position and actions as anything more than "this seems sexy, let's do that." Now that I'm actually writing it, though, I'm putting a lot of consideration into whether or not to have oral, what kind of foreplay, who's doing what, what position, what are the other body parts doing, all (okay, most) with an eye on narrative impact, what it reveals about a character, things of that nature.

I'm curious how much thought goes into deciding how the arc of the sex will play out in any given story. How much of it for you is steamy id "this is sexy" vs. big-brain ego "narratively, this is the ideal position and chain of events to showcase the relationship and character dynamic."

Where do you fall on the spectrum? What are the main considerations that go into a sex scene for you?

I wouldn't be surprised if someone's asked more or less this same exactly question, but I couldn't easily find a thread on this specific topic, so... Here it is.

Same here. Before I started writing, I had thousands of ideas for sex acts, positions, explorations, etc. that I'd never seen written in a story before. As of now, I've written exactly one of those into a story. I'm hoping to get some of my WIPs to the point where the characters are comfortable enough with each other to BE free to explore those other sorts of things, but one thing I've learned is that if the characters are just beginning with each other, they're going to start with the more 'typical' sorts of things, because they're a 'safer' choice in terms of enjoyment and implied consent.

More generally, I've even had scenes where I wrote certain thing then realized it didn't really belong, due to the mood/motivations that you mentioned. In the first story I published here, I have a self-conscious twenty-seven year old virgin older sister with her twenty-five year old brother going very slowly and trying not to hurt her. When originally writing in free-flow mode, the sister gets so frustrated and desperate that she grabs his hips and pulls him in aggressively, then tells him to fuck her hard, and that he can be gentle and make love to her later. It was pretty hot, but it didn't fit the mood of the story, so I deleted it and rewrote it to have her simultaneously desperate to have him all the way in, begging him to get there as soon as he can while still letting him be tender and gentle.

In another case, one of my WIPs had a note on it for several months that was something like "[this blowjob is well-written, but maybe move it to their next encounter]" because the point of their first encounter was to show his willingness and generosity, and having her go down on him made more sense for the second one where she wanted to show her gratitude (the scene already had some "you don't have to do that", "I know, but I want to" dialogue.)

I do still want to include all the kinky/exciting ideas, positions, etc. that I had originally thought would be good included in stories, but they'll work their way in as situations call for them.

 

[TheRedChamber]

All my stuff is concept-driven, but either the sex scene is the concept, or it is a result of the concept.

That is to say, if I'm thinking 'this type of sex, with these types of people, in this type of location' is hot, then my job is to fill in how they got there in a semi-believable manner.

On the other hand, if the concept is more about some kind of relationship, then the sex, whether it happens in the beginning, middle or end, has to somehow be based off who these people are, what they want, and why they are going at it right now.

A sex scene can never just be a sex scene, it either has to drive the plot forward, or else it has to be the end result of the plot*.

(* even if it's not the last thing to happen)

 

[TheWritingGroup]

Same here. Before I started writing, I had thousands of ideas for sex acts, positions, explorations, etc. that I'd never seen written in a story before. As of now, I've written exactly one of those into a story. I'm hoping to get some of my WIPs to the point where the characters are comfortable enough with each other to BE free to explore those other sorts of things ...

I am not telling you what or how to write, but I do wonder: would you have been happier if you started your story a little later, after the characters already knew each other?

A writing maxim I've heard is "In late, out early." Apparently newer writers like me tend to start way too early and hang around for too long after the story is properly over.

--Annie

 

[EmilyMiller]

this is the ideal position and chain of events to showcase the relationship and character dynamic

I’ve never thought of positions as being a major contributor to character development. There really aren’t that many, and most can work most of the time.

I do include things like agreeing to be tied or spanked or having anal as markers in a relationship, or being reflective of a character’s inner thoughts, but positions not so much.

 

[TheRedChamber]

I’ve never thought of positions as being a major contributor to character development. There really aren’t that many, and most can work most of the time.

Sometimes cowgirl is just cowgirl.
Sometimes, like in the story I wrote today, it's a statement.

 

[ICantLeafYou]

Nothing I write really has a plot to it, so I have to be intentional and focussed in writing the sex.

 

[old_prof]

I'm struggling writing two sex scenes in one of my WIP novels. (My stories are mostly very plot/character driver, not sex driven.)

The sex has to fit the mood, and has to relay the change in relationship, somewhat like @EmilyMiller said

The first scene that I skipped is the first sex for the two main characters and the first lesbian encounter at all for one of them. The plot's been moving towards that scene for 15K and I'm fighting writing it.

The second scene is the first time they try anything kinky (spanking in this case), another relationship milestone, which leads into a post-coital discussion of their desires.

 

[crookedletter]

The sex scenes are generally where I let go. At that point my characters have given up on whatever was making them hesitate, have shed their inhibitions, and are just going for it, doing what feels good. I go right along with them.

 

[VerbalAbuse]

wow, yes, I mean, yes. of course.

 

[Statius]

My sex scenes are porn, pure and simple. There are things, character wise, I would avoid, like anal in a group sex scene, if a character isn't into it or doesn't want it, it's stated and doesn't happen. I've had characters complain about anal and face fucking both, so if that's the case neither of those are happening. Other than that, I'm writing porn in a sex scene; position really doesn't have much to do with characters, except when stated by the character in the story. If a character says they don't want to be dommed then they won't be. Pretty simple for me, but I'm not a complex writer, so there's that.

 

[Areala-chan]

I try to make sure the sex scenes I write are both an emotional and narrative fit to the plot. I want the reason why certain characters do certain things to have weight and bearing on the sex. I don't sit and plot out how these things will go, but I do try and put myself into the mindset of each character, and figure out how they would respond or initiate when the time is right. How good I am at doing this is, of course, up for debate, but I'd like to think I'm at least trying to get it right.

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

I guess I'm the outlier. I feel the sex needs to be part of the story, needs to move the story forward. Sure the sex can be the story; I've written a few strokers, but the story needs to be the driver. I guess that makes me intentional. Sometimes the sex is bawdy and ribald, other times it's soft and delicate. It depends on what the story calls for.

 

[Rob_Royale]

I do think about this when designing a sex scene. And I do feel that I 'design' them.

First location is important because it decides the setting and available furniture or lack thereof.

Second, I think about the characters and their relationship and decide first whether this is eye contact sex or no eye contact sex. That decision sets the tone for the scene.

 

[old_prof]

I just wrote the first of the two sex scenes I mentioned above. I was much more aware of my decision making because of this thread. I had not preplanned much with the scene, but I dfefinitely made intentional decisions as I was writing it. For this scene, the biggest decisions are who makes what move first. In a first time between a couple, each step is a major one and who makes it says a lot about the characters and their relationship.

 

[AG31]

The sex scenes are the main substance of my stories. But sometimes I have to work at how to describe the positions. They're clear in my mind, feeling wise, but when it comes to putting them on virtual paper, sometimes it doesn't work. It's important to me that they work, so I'm very intentional.

 

[MillieDynamite]

When I write from an outline, in the outline, at the appropriate point, I have a "sex scene here."

 

[AllenWoody]

The key to me is the sexual dynamic between the main characters. What energy and story will follow them into the bedroom? Are they long-time lovers? Did they just meet? Is one of them more eager than the other? Is any anger, resentment, hope, sadness, guilt, etc. going to color the encounter?

With that established I can write the supporting prose, any appetizer-grade sexy bits, and the lead up. Much harder is keeping those dynamics in mind as I work my way through the main sex scene(s). Would she really give him a blowjob? What's going through her mind? Does she want to get it over with quickly? Does she want to impress him with her ability? Is she doing out of a sense of obligation?

 

[TheExperimentalist]

I am not telling you what or how to write, but I do wonder: would you have been happier if you started your story a little later, after the characters already knew each other?

A writing maxim I've heard is "In late, out early." Apparently newer writers like me tend to start way too early and hang around for too long after the story is properly over.

--Annie

Nah, I'm pretty sure that it just has more to do with what I happen to have written so far. As of now, I've only actually posted four stories (though I've got over two dozen WIPs at various stages of progress). About half of what I write is T/I, which, in my opinion, NEEDS to start from zero to be worth anything, since the whole point (for me, anyway) is HOW the characters could believably cross those lines.

The other half of what I've written so far have been pretty specific scenarios. One started mid-encounter (how's that for starting late?) with a couple in a loving, committed, long-term relationship, but it was kind of a short slice-of-life piece focused on one particular sexual development for them. The other was a sort of first-person recounting of a journey to accomplish a specific sexual goal, which didn't really lend itself to a lot of the stuff I'm talking about otherwise. I may write sequels to either of those at some point which include some of my purely hot-sex-act-oriented ideas, but I've actually found, contrary to what I'd expected, that I enjoy writing the character development more than the sex itself.

I also have a much longer, multi-part T/I story in progress as well, in which the characters are going to do pretty much everything BUT penile penetration until the very end. A lot of my experimental ideas will probably end up in that story, but that's a ways off. I don't plan to start posting it until it's reasonably complete, and, though I'm making sure to include at least one spicy scene in every chapter, it's going to be a VERY slow burn. (Case in point: I'm currently up to chapter 4 where they're mutually beginning to suspect the other has feelings, but dancing around the issue... so yeah, it'll be a while.)

(Side note: I also expect that story to do quite poorly. Given the number of "ugh, why'd you have to ruin it with anal?" comments I've seen on T/I stories, I suspect most T/I readers prefer the characters to be rather vanilla and get to the PiV sex rather than finding creative ways to avoid it, fucking each other with random objects, experimenting with kinks, etc. It's a good thing that my goal in writing is mainly to create the stories that I wish I could find as a reader...)

It might also just be that I subconsciously realize I need to improve my own skills/groundwork before I can reasonably write established relationships that feel like that kind of experimental sex works naturally. I don't know... but I'm not disappointed for now. I think I have a reasonable handle on where to enter and leave a story without overdoing it (though it would, of course, be nice to get some feedback sometime from other AH denizens, or at least from a reader capable of doing a more in-depth analysis than just "that was hot, 5 stars!").

 

[yowser]

I don't think I am alone in thinking that the best stories here on Lit are well-integrated, with characters and plot and sexual contact all interwoven in a nice tight bundle.

I hear a lot about authors saying 'and now I have to write the sex scene.' Obviously, a lot depends on the skill of the person saying this, but a huge proportion of stories here have sex scenes that seem tagged on. Welded on. Stitched on, with little thought to the nature of the sex as it relates to the characters.

The stories of mine that I am happiest with are ones that evolve in balance. The attraction, arousal, love, connection all spring from the characters' personalities, life situations, decision making as they proceed along their journey of connection. If I start to feel like I need to add a 'sex scene' that tells me I am off track with the tale.

 

[old_prof]

For me, sometimes the sex just flows. Sometimes not.

In my stories at least

I do try to blend them in carefully when I add one. And I never add sec just to have it and there are times when a simple “We had loving sex.” is sufficient

 

[TheExperimentalist]

For me, sometimes the sex just flows. Sometimes not.

Just like real life...

 

[SimonDoom]

I think it matters, but it's tricky. One thing I have noticed over the course of my publishing here is that readers can be critical of a story they otherwise like if the final sex scene does not quite live up to the billing the story has promised up to that point. I have looked back on my own stories and recognized that at times I gave short shrift to the final sex scene. So I think it's important to have a good and satisfying sex scene. That doesn't mean that the characters have to go through a sex scene rotating through every position like it's a porn video. It DOES mean giving it some thought so the satisfaction of the scene fulfills the expectation that a reader might have leading up to that point.

So, yes, when I write stories now, I think about this quite a lot, and I think about it more than I used to.

 

[Statius]

I do think the sex scene(s) need to match the story. My more absurd sex scenes are saved for my more absurd stories. I wouldn't have written a group sex scene in my A Game Of Pool as I did in The Witching Hour. Both are over the top but in completely different ways for completely different reasons.