How Intentional Are Your Sex Scenes?

[Zootonius]

I started writing here simply because I like writing sex scenes, and my plots serve that purpose. But the plots serve the broader goal of bringing context to the sex scene; attraction, desire, lust, love, it's about exposing the emotional state of the protagonist at the moment of consummation. That's fun.

I do believe there is too much of a good thing. If the lovers are in a night long session of passionate sex, I spell out the details at the start, but summarize the rest of the evening, otherwise it becomes tedious.

 

[CalBishForNow]

People write scenes that aren't sex scenes?

 

[AchtungNight]

Normally I visualize the characters doing things with each other and take notes on what comes to mind. I don’t push them much, just try to give each participant some measure of satisfaction and attention to their respective motivations. However I also often have to throw in a particular kink that makes sense to the character in question in a way I can’t always understand at first glance. And yet it makes sense in context.

 

[Erozetta]

Not at all. I don't choreograph the sex scene, it just follows a natural flow for the characters as I'm writing.

 

[Britva415]

I'm putting a lot of consideration into whether or not to have oral, what kind of foreplay, who's doing what, what position, what are the other body parts doing, all (okay, most) with an eye on narrative impact, what it reveals about a character, things of that nature

Do you think that makes it more sexy, or less sexy? And do you care one way or the other about how sexy it is?

Maybe there's no difference in the "sexy level." But it seems like there could be.

I suppose that one could get all Fellini about it. One could employ specific evocative imagery, simile and metaphor within the sex scene to foreshadow that scene later where like for example the MC will be riding a train which has to enter a tunnel and he'll come out the other end of it in a coma.

 

[NaughteeDragon]

Important sex scenes are deliberate and I think about how they reflect the characters and what’s going on in their relationship. Choices about positions and types and intensity are based on what’s going on before the scene.
There’s a chapter coming up in DFF where Jane is teasing Bill before she goes to a party and he goes to a work function. The teasing goes a little far and he throws on her bed and fucks her hard and fast. It’s short on description and sensation. It’s about 2 paragraphs.
Later that night they have anal for the first time. That scene is dripping with descriptions and sensations. It’s 2000 words or so. The choices about positions are very deliberate by both characters.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Before I started writing erotica, I hadn't really considered the narrative impact of position and actions as anything more than "this seems sexy, let's do that." Now that I'm actually writing it, though, I'm putting a lot of consideration into whether or not to have oral, what kind of foreplay, who's doing what, what position, what are the other body parts doing, all (okay, most) with an eye on narrative impact, what it reveals about a character, things of that nature.

I'm curious how much thought goes into deciding how the arc of the sex will play out in any given story. How much of it for you is steamy id "this is sexy" vs. big-brain ego "narratively, this is the ideal position and chain of events to showcase the relationship and character dynamic."

Where do you fall on the spectrum? What are the main considerations that go into a sex scene for you?

I wouldn't be surprised if someone's asked more or less this same exactly question, but I couldn't easily find a thread on this specific topic, so... Here it is.

I try to approach sex scenes like writing dialogue (and often combined with dialogue), so much more on the "relationship and character dynamic" side. What do these people want? Are they confident, nervous, domineering? How do they express that in their approach to sex?

 

[Writer61]

As I only write erotica, I always intend to include sex scenes. Somefeature in my original thoughts about the story, others crop up as I write ('oh, X and Y are in the same location, might they fuck?').

 

[metropolinational]

In my story - I only have one so far, though it will have 33 chapters - the sex scenes are absolutely intentional. They are few and far between, and are an integral part of the plot and character development.

The very first scene in the story is a super explicit rimjob, in chapter 2, and then the two main characters don't so much as kiss each other again for 100K words. At that point, what they do is a bit like a lap dance. I spent a lot of time thinking about what they should do, how to describe it, and how it would fit into the narrative.

I have no problem with gratuitous sex, but I find that sort of scene hard to write about. I can't imagine there ever being any in the stories I publish here. Just too much work and little reward (for me). I think I will only go through the work of writing sex scenes because it's not something I can avoid as part of the story itself.

 

[Voboy]

Depends on the characters and what they're like.

I don't usually have a predetermined place where I "intend" to put sex, but there are times when a very powerful image or idea won't leave my head and I really want to stick it in there. For me, this phenomenon is probably rarer than it is for many people.

Normally, like with almost all other aspects of my stories, I let the story play out as characters who reveal their personalities to me as they meander through the story. How they fuck is no different. I send them off to bed when their arc tells me it's time to send them to bed.

Often, the sex isn't where I expected it would go. But that's all part of the fun.

 

[anthrodisiac]

Do you think that makes it more sexy, or less sexy? And do you care one way or the other about how sexy it is?

Maybe there's no difference in the "sexy level." But it seems like there could be.

I suppose that one could get all Fellini about it. One could employ specific evocative imagery, simile and metaphor within the sex scene to foreshadow that scene later where like for example the MC will be riding a train which has to enter a tunnel and he'll come out the other end of it in a coma.

I started out as horror/satire and lived there for almost twenty years, so to me, everything is metaphor. Fuck, even character names tend to being either aptonyms or some hint/joke based on characteristics, story, etc.

I don't know if choosing position and acts for narrative impact makes it any more or less sexy. I'm shooting for making it sexy, just with the extra layer of "ah, but what does this say about the dynamic, the characters, the plot arc?" I think the intentionality can strengthen the story, but I'm also constrained by the characters themselves. I wouldn't just have a character do something sexually out of character anymore than I would have them do or saying anything else out of character without damn good reason.

The current story I'm working on, I have the characters fucking more vanilla as she's masking, playing the "cutesy human-coded girlfriend" (she's an anthro tamandua) because she read that's what human guys like on Reddit. But she prefers it a bit more dirty, dirty talking. So when we get to the second sex scene when she finally implodes and does the whole "this is who I am" thing, it'll be much, much raunchier.

Also, I've read everyone's responses. It's such a spectrum and it's amazing.

 

[ronde]

Write sex scenes that conform to the way you built your characters. If it's their first time together, the sex isn't going to be very imaginative. If they're older and have had a partner before, they can experiment. Just don't write the 19 year old virgin girl deep-throating the guy's cock or her begging the 40 something guy to fuck her hard in the ass. Stay away from positions that would require both partners to be gymnasts.

 

[NuclearFairy]

In a way, I suppose they are. I think about what's in character for them, what sort of mood they're in, how attentive they are to each other, and figure it out from there.

Sometimes I need to change things mid scene though. Like there was a threesome I was writing, where originally the girl was going to be DP'd but then I realized, this is very nearly her first time, and she does not know much about sex at all. She would be too anxious about having that fat cock up her butt, and her guys would be too attentive to her needs to push her on it. So, I wound up writing a MMF sex scene instead of a MFM one. She'll get that DP some day, once she's gained a bit more sexual confidence.

 

[old_prof]

Power dynamics in bed do not necessarily follow the dynamics of non-sexual relationships. So the interactions in bed (or elsewhere), the choice of specific activity and who decides/leads all help build richer characters.

 

[ElectricBlue]

In my story - I only have one so far, though it will have 33 chapters - the sex scenes are absolutely intentional. They are few and far between, and are an integral part of the plot and character development.

The very first scene in the story is a super explicit rimjob, in chapter 2, and then the two main characters don't so much as kiss each other again for 100K words. At that point, what they do is a bit like a lap dance. I spent a lot of time thinking about what they should do, how to describe it, and how it would fit into the narrative.

What's going on in the other 99,000 words in between? I can't imagine reading a novel on an erotica web site with only two sex scenes. It'll be interesting to find out how many readers stay the course.

I have no problem with gratuitous sex, but I find that sort of scene hard to write about. I can't imagine there ever being any in the stories I publish here. Just too much work and little reward (for me). I think I will only go through the work of writing sex scenes because it's not something I can avoid as part of the story itself.

That's a big ask on your readers, to stuck around that long without pay-off.

I did a similar experiment several years ago now, but the whole thing was less than 10k. It started with a 750 Word story for one of the anthologies, with each subsequent chapter getting a bit longer, until I got to Chapter Six. Satisfyingly, the Views for that chapter were nearly twice the count for Chapter Five, which means a bunch of people must have read it twice.

 

[metropolinational]

What's going on in the other 99,000 words in between? I can't imagine reading a novel on an erotica web site with only two sex scenes. It'll be interesting to find out how many readers stay the course.

Well, it's a LW story. A huge proportion of the LW stories have no sex at all, just suffering. I get very thankful readers who email or comment about how they cried, or they felt depressed, or that they were trapped, watching a train wreck. That is the highest compliment one can get, as a LW writer.

But yeah, it's a minority. Most readers hate it. Chapter 1 had 70K readers, chapter 26 will probably have 5K. The vast majority of my comments are negative and angry.

It's not remotely for everyone.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Well, it's a LW story. A huge proportion of the LW stories have no sex at all, just suffering. I get very thankful readers who email or comment about how they cried, or they felt depressed, or that they were trapped, watching a train wreck. That is the highest compliment one can get, as a LW writer.

I forgot you wrote in LW. Not my cup of tea, that category. The few stories I've read were more anti-erotic than erotic.

 

[Actingup]

The stories in which I’ve let the sex scenes dominate the construction of the story tend to be the ones that are the least satisfying to write and draw the most critical comments. In my catalogue, an example of that would be ‘Crapshooting’, in which two couples are swapping partners every month as the woman compete to get pregnant. It was an enjoyably bonkers setup and the competitive sex was fun to write, but I didn’t restrain myself enough and the story suffered a bit because of it (I’ve thought about deleting it, but enough readers enjoyed it to hold back from doing that).

In the story that @PennyThompson and I did recently, we threw around and drafted options for the right climactic sex scene that was dictated by what was emotionally best for the characters rather than what was hottest, and we ended up pushing later in the story than originally intended, and kept it relatively chaste. And although a few readers were frustrated by that, I think it was the right choice, and it’s also the most read and commented story that either of us have. So I think I’m leaning more that way for future stories - let the characters decide the sex that’s right for them in the context of the narrative.

 

[metropolinational]

And although a few readers were frustrated by that, I think it was the right choice, and it’s also the most read and commented story that either of us have. So I think I’m leaning more that way for future stories - let the characters decide the sex that’s right for them in the context of the narrative.

In your story, I kept wishing the two MCs were MORE politically apart, and that it resolved with truly explosive, Mary Matalin vs Paul Begala sexual throw down (I mean, it has to be, right?).

 

[old_prof]

I was just working on the orgy scene in my WIP, which requires me to be very intentional in the sex scenes. At the peak, there's one couple, two three-comes and a four-some all having sex at the same time.My writing is not up to what I want to be, but it's still interesting and challenging for me to tackle interweaving the different activities.

 

[anthrodisiac]

I was just working on the orgy scene in my WIP, which requires me to be very intentional in the sex scenes. At the peak, there's one couple, two three-comes and a four-some all having sex at the same time.My writing is not up to what I want to be, but it's still interesting and challenging for me to tackle interweaving the different activities.

At that point, you just need to bite the bullet and hire a choreographer.

That's like my nightmare scenario, so much sex happening at one time. Non-erotically, I love chaotic scenes, mostly for tension purposes. Erotically...

I hope it works out for you, prof! It sounds like a fun challenge.

 

[Actingup]

In your story, I kept wishing the two MCs were MORE politically apart, and that it resolved with truly explosive, Mary Matalin vs Paul Begala sexual throw down (I mean, it has to be, right?).

Thank you for reading it! The degree of polarity was also a debated choice, and I’m glad we ended up where we did given recent events.

 

[PennyThompson]

In the story that @PennyThompson and I did recently, we threw around and drafted options for the right climactic sex scene that was dictated by what was emotionally best for the characters rather than what was hottest, and we ended up pushing later in the story than originally intended, and kept it relatively chaste. And although a few readers were frustrated by that, I think it was the right choice, and it’s also the most read and commented story that either of us have.

For the record I was pushing for more (and earlier) sex

 

[YmaOHyd]

For the record I was pushing for more (and earlier) sex

Someone should have fucked Foucault.

 

[TheWritingGroup]

But let's answer the question that was clearly meant before the typo: How international are your sex scenes?