How many of us are 'out of the closet'?Results?

[CuriousNiceGuy]

LOL! I got the same response from one of my best friends.
He asked me if I had fantasized about my friends, and I said that I thought it was a bit gross(they're like brothers to me..) and he started asking me if he was ugly and made an 'I'm hurt' scene just for joke
I really like these people who can react like that in those situations.
Revolution724, thanks for sharing.Maybe I'll come out to them when I have(if I have) a serious relationship with a guy..(thanks to all of you for sharing of course!)

 

[Ekals]

In or out?

Coming out was one of the hardest things I ever did. I knew/felt I was bi from an early age (about 13). Boys in the changing room at school were as interesting to me as any girl. However, in the mid seventies, I felt like the only gay in the town and at thirteen what do you know about sexuality apart from what you hear from your mates.

I got married in '96 and just before the wedding my wife discovered a gay mag in my briefcase. I laughed it off as a prank from work. By this time I was in my late thirties.

About five years ago I finally came out to my wife. The pain of supressing this any longer was just too much especially as I had gone through a period of deep depression for over a year. After that I came out to my nieces who I knew would be ok about it and have since told one guy I work with that I'm bi. Again he was ok about it.

I've not told my parents. I dont feel that they need to know. The rest of my family dont need to know either. As for my work colleagues, they keep probing and asking but I dont feel that they need to know. None of them appeal to me so there is no chance of me displaying that kind of feeling in an inappropriate way.

Its been tough, my marriage is on a knife edge because of my wife. Although she knows, she finds it very difficult to accept. I cant see that getting better but with kids I dont want to cause them to lose out if I leave, which they will.

 

[Bagel San]

i guess you coudl say im peeking out of the closet. I'm bi.my family doesnt know. the people i work with don't know its really none of their buisness. My fiance and the other male involved in out escapades know. and anybody i have contact on the internet with knows.

my fiance was a godsend in not freakign out about it after i confided in her. She set up our first event as well.

 

[temp256]

Ha! You gays have it easy. Try telling people you're not happy with your body and want to grow breats and trade in your penis.

Even I can't do it. I know everyone's reactions will be supportive (they have told me so on several occasions), but alas I am a coward. Most gays fear coming out will change things with their family. For me, change is a nessesity.

Coming out as gay/bi would be easy for me; I would simply bring home a boyfriend. But as I live at home, coming out is a must before I can get access to clothes, therapy, and meds.

Plus, there is a nagging doubt in my mind. I don't want to say anything if I'm not sure, and I can't be sure without coming out.

If I do go through with it, telling friends would be easy, even amusing. I would simply show up in a dress. Extended family might be a bit more problematic, but the ones who don't approve can go to hell.

 

[oralcummers]

did ya say dungeons?

closets were for the dim reality of yourself
dungeons now were the place you became you

 

[sexafter40]

I was always in hetrosexual relationships, but during the last few years I'm started to be very interested in sex with another woman. I love reading lesbian stories and I've even written some lesbian erotica. I still love the feeling of a cock inside me. But I find myself longing for a woman's touch.

Does this make me bi ? or just Bi Curious?

 

[DarkstarNova]

My brother is gay, he came out a good 15 years ago. So when it occured to me exactly what my sexuality was, it wasnt nearly as hard for me to come out and admit it.

My family knows and no one really cares, its not a subject thats touchy, in fact, its never even brought up. My closest friends know...anyone else really doesnt matter, if it doesnt affect how i deal with them on an everyday basis, they dont need to know. Its just second nature to me.

 

[card_member]

I'm out to all my friends, all but 2 said duh, so it wasnt that hard seeing how a few told me i was a lesbian before I "knew". I'm not out to my family but i'm sure like everyone else they know, seeing how my dad tells me all the time that he would love his kids no matter who they love.Mmy mother stoped asking me about guys back in high school, so I dont really need me to tell them. Right?

 

[John Doe]

Hmm, tough question for me. I'm a very private man in general, so I haven't come out of the closet per se. I just don't feel my sexuality is anyone's business, except perhaps for family and friends. Or unless they'd like to have sex with me.

Seriously though, is there an expectation to do so in [uh...shit, insert whatever the currently inoffensive term for this community is here]?

And to look at it another way, I'm young and I'm still figuring out just who I am, so I can't even begin to tell others such things.

 

[none2_none2]

Personally, I'm more in the closet than out. I really don't think it's most people's business -- especially since most cannot handle it.

I don't really know why it bothers a lot of people. I could understand if you don't have kids and don't plan on having them due to your sexuality. In that case, I could understand disappointed relatives. If you already have kids and maybe have been divorced. What is the problem? Are they afraid you won't have a lot more? (Most people don't have a lot of kids now-a-days, and I don't hear anybody griping that someone isn't planning for their 4th, 5th, etc child.)

I can really understand a spouse/sig other being upset if it meant you wanted to have sex with your own gender. That case is the most understandable.

Everybody else -- such as friends, co-workers, church people etc... for them to have a problem is stupid. Unfortunately, people do stupid things, or think stupid thoughts at times. I guess some people are so absorbed in themselves that they think you will do anything to be with them if you are gay/bi.

 

[CuriousNiceGuy]

Reply to stup )

Hmmm...The appropriate inoffensive word for this community...hmmmmm..
I just use the 'GLTB' 'word'.
So.. I really didn't think you were in the closet as you seem, so far, to just say things that you believe.Sometimes a bit offensive, sometimes ridiculously funny XD , and of course sometimes serious things(though not that many times j/k).
The thing is you always seem sincere about the things you say.

THAT is my reason for wanting close persons to know about my sexuality.
I'm a major fan of being sincere and just, and I don't like it when my family/close friends don't know me as I trully am.
I think it's nice knowing that someone accepts you for your whole being.
I'm not saying we should be out to EVERYONE, but to the people we find important.
I have no desire to keep a friendship that would be ruined only by the fact that I like to look at men and women the same way.
To me, that friendship is weak.If it falls apart with the little shake of my coming out, I think it isn't worth it.
If someone likes/loves you shouldn't be a matter of sexuality and I would really get pissed off if a close friend wouldn't accept my sexuality.That kind of people are just not worth my time.

Anyway, it's really up to each person, if they want to come out of the closet, but really I think staying in the closet too long can make you feel pressured.
Veeeeeeeeeeery pressured.
I still want to tell my parents, but i guess I'll wait till I have the money and independence.It's too early and I wouldn't risk a possible BIG fight.

Other than these serious reasons, being out would probably give me the opportunity to date guys openly.Which is something I don't dare to do as I'm only out to 3 or 4 people.

And lastly...

Stup, I luv ya :*

 

[sxxyblueyes]

I'm out as VERY VERY bi-curious to 6 people..

I feel the need to add that I believe I am bi - just have to put the curious there because I haven't had the pleasure of being with a girl IRL yet. I have an online girl that I am actually very much in love with but don't have an opportunity to meet her. <cries> I feel this extremely strong emotional connection and I just know that if she were closer, I would want to be with her- no doubts. She is all I can think about and I know my feelings for her are real. She is one of the most wonderful people I know.

Anyway.. that's what I wanted to add..

 

[Haine]

Keeping it a "secret" inst a option really.

At first, I came out to my mother and close friends. After the initial shock they were OK with it. With other I took a "its not their bussiness" attitude, because truely, what you do in bed inst anyone else bussiness.

But I began to realise that if I kept this only to myself and close friends, I would be missing many opportunities of meeting other gay men. So, I changed my attitude slightly. If you go see my profile at orkut.com its possible you will see a few gay communities, and if you look at my friends some of them are gay, some are not. Finding out if I am gay or not really just takes the effort of asking me about it, but I don't go around telling the whole world about it either because there is no point in annoying people with certain details about your life and they wouldnt take you seriously if you did either.

I think pretty much everyone I know thinks at least now and then "hm, could it really be that he is gay?" ^_^ And its a good feeling for me really, because I can just be myself instead of trying to hide.

 

[matto]

Hi all.
Im not gay but just lately all i want to do is suck cock,i have never done it but i just want to now and let some man come in my mouth.

 

[michaelinteas]

HI, I am BI and out to my wife and all of our friends but not my family.

 

[buttpluglover]

Times change

Bi. Used to be out, to everybody. Was the flag-waving, card-carrying, banner-raising activist type. Then I decided to stop being a hypocrite and made a date to come out to my parents. That was probably a mistake. There were tears, there was some yelling. We haven't talked about that night ten years ago since. We've slowly grown closer again and I assume they've conveniently forgotten about that side of me. Siblings know and could care less, I believe.

I moved to New York and promptly went back in the closet. Being out here just didn't seem to matter as much. It's easy to be in the closet here. Oh, I've told a few people when it came up in conversation, but only when not doing so would lead me to outright lies. And I've always been honest with my partners.

Being bi is not always accepted among the gay community, I've come to find out; but these days, I really don't care.

 

[none2_none2]

... Being bi is not always accepted among the gay community, I've come to find out; but these days, I really don't care.

I think that way to many gays (at least the guys) see gender as such a defining difference between people that they cannot fathom someone being attracted to both. Its almost as if they are so distinct that to love or desire both genders would be like claiming you live at the north pole and the south pole simultaneously. With such a concept, someone who says they are bi would be perceived as a gay who can only come halfway to terms with his "true" sexuality.

I never saw the genders as THAT different. Therefore, I never bought into the attitude that bi's are gays in denial. It IS true that there is a certain percentage of people who DO use the "bi" term to soften their own internal self-perception that to be "gay" would be just to weird or abnormal. Eventually they come out as really gay.

The only problem I ever had with bi's were specifically those bi's that have the attitude that being bi was an excuse to never commit to any one person. If someone wants to live their life that way, that IS there choice. However, they shouldn't take people with them down that road that aren't looking for that kind of lifestyle.

For myself, I think I could have classified myself as bi, but my preferences dont' run 50/50. The reason I didn't persue the straight side of me was that I am infertile -- siring kids was a big part of wanting to be in a straight relationship, and I knew I would have a problem in the long run.

I knew I could probably go without gay sex, but it would have been really sad not to have a guy in the household. I'm not talking about sex or sneeking peaks at a male body living in the household. Rather, it was just the companionship from time to time. A son would have been nice, but in the case of children you really have to let your off-spring grow up and spread their own wings. You can't ask them to stay as part of the household so you wont' be lonely at times for a male comradery. I think the strong desire for a guy in the household was because growing up, men were household members that were absent, died, or were just passing by... Nevertheless, at least I was aware of my own needs. Because of that, I figured it wouldn't be fair to go down the straight road.

For those bi's where the definition of bi meant the ability to love either gender and also the ability to stay with whomever they were in love with regardless of gender, I never had problems with. I have heard some gay guys say how extra devistated they were when their lover left them for a woman. If the guy they loved never planned to consider their relationship seriously because it was a gay relationship, I could understand the pain. However, if the relationship was headed for the exit anyway, what difference does it make if their next partner was female or male. The fact is the relationship was over; they are gone. Whether they are in the arms of another guy or a gal is a moot point.

 

[Xectxny19X]

hmm...I'm in my early 20s, out, and dateless. *bows*

 

[matto]

compliment

Xectxny19X you are stunningly beautifull,so why are you dateless,you can have anyone you want with your looks babes.
matt.

 

[sxxyblueyes]

Xectxny19X you are stunningly beautifull,so why are you dateless,you can have anyone you want with your looks babes.
matt.

I was going to ask the same thing! Why are you dateless Ms. X?

 

[CuriousNiceGuy]

`Lol, I think everyone has the same question for you
Dateless?
Are you too selective? Do you mean dateless with girls??
Are you looking for TRUE love???(cause I tell you, you should first have some fun and THEN love.But if you get it straight ahead from the start good for ya )

Anyway, I had this conversation with a friend of mine who I was out to.
He made this incredibly weird question to me:
"WHY do you like men too?" XD
I just stared at him with a confused look and I replied:
"Why do women like men??"
Then he just got the message and started talking about how akward it'd be me being with my future/maybe b/f and him with his g/f.
And I too thought it'd be awkward..Did I just get off-topic again?

 

[Xectxny19X]

*smiles* Yes, you are off topic...but then again, this is your thread. *winks* I don't know why I'm dateless, but I am out.

 

[sxxyblueyes]

*smiles* Yes, you are off topic...but then again, this is your thread. *winks* I don't know why I'm dateless, but I am out.

Hmm... only if we lived closer

 

[toy!]

Hmm... only if we lived closer

I was just dreaming / fantasizing about the same thing ... purrrrrr

 

[dizzylia]

Aaah, the good old closet...

Unfortunately, I'm not. I'd like to be, but between my partners' fear of negative reactions and my own fear of my parents' reactions... yeah. The "out" remains very small so far.

Parents or not, I'd still be happier being open and honest with people, but I do need to respect my partners' wishes.