How To Avoid Anal Sex Problems

[beautifulstrife]

My boyfriend and I have been having anal sex for about a year now. He REALLY loves it and I like it too. But the last time we had anal, the little ball of muscle/tissue that sits just inside your sphincter - basically the one that pushes out waste - was kind of swollen and was sitting outside of my sphincter so that it could be seen and touched. Normally, as I say, this muscle is retracted up just inside the anus. It stayed that way for a week and is only now starting to disappear completely, but as it would make slow progress over the week it would swell up again if I used the bathroom over the week (bowel movements only). Thinking about the problem, I realized this has almost always happened during anal but it used to retract within a few hours, and then slowly got longer to a day or two.

I am worried that having anal sex is stretching my bowel muscles and putting stress on them and might lead to incontinence later. We don't have it all that often, over the course of that year we have had it maybe 30 times. We always use lube, but maybe we are not using enough? Or maybe he is going too hard/fast? He usually gets pretty excited and into it.

I just would like to know what I can do to prevent this, as he REALLY loves anal and I don't want to have that taken away from our sex life.

 

[thrity]

Sorry, I don't know too much about that.

I hope you'll be okay soon, did you ever see a doctor? by the way.

 

[Rueben80]

Sounds like a hemroid.

 

[TBKahuna123]

Well, having just had hemerroid sugery, I can tell you it sure sounds like that's what you've got. My problem was alittle different, more internal so nothing was hanging out, but that's the most common form, I was told. In my research I did read that anal sex can cause them, because of the friction involved. There are a hundred causes of them though: pressure from straining too hard, pregnancy(very common), heavy lifting, etc. Mine were caused by a totally unrelated stomach problem.

So it may not be CAUSED by anal sex, just irritated. Either way, go see a proctologist and get it taken care of NOW! If you do while they are still small, there is a really easy process to remove them. If they get bad though, they have to remove them surgically. I didn't even know I had them because I had no symptoms, so mine went untreated for a loooong time. The surgery was NOT fun, and it WILL take you out of the anal sex arena for a few months. On the bright side, it did get my wife to stop threatening me with the strap on!

Seriously though, go get it checked out. The sooner you deal with it the better off you are. If this only shows up after sex, it may be so minor that medication may make it go away. In the mean time, use LOTS of lube. It's the friction that is inflaming it and that will certainly help.

 

[Eilan]

I'm going to agree with the others that this could be hemorrhoids and not an issue with the muscle, but definitely check with your doc to make sure. If I were you, I'd avoid anal until I could get this checked out.

I've had enough experience with hemorrhoids during my pregnancies (despite my best efforts to prevent them) that if I never get them again, it'll be too soon!

 

[beautifulstrife]

Thanks guys. I have been doing some research this morning and others have told me that it is probably hemorrhoids too. That sucks but at least it is not something more serious.

This is my plan right now. I want to get some preparation H and wait for them to go down. I also want to increase the fiber in my diet since I have heard that can cause them. My bowel movements are usually not that frequent or regular, except when I am at college, for some reason the food there steadies me out. Then when they seem healed and I resume anal, I will use a lot more lube, insert something smaller like a finger first (we sometimes do that, but not usually), and start out going slower and maybe in a different position too. Doggy style is kind of uncomfortable for me but some other positions that we have tried give me more enjoyment.

If they persist after that then I will go see a doctor, the problem with not being able to go immediately is that I don't have insurance and not much money to pay for a dr. visit. But I will have to find some way to get the money because I definitely don't want it to get worse.

 

[Eilan]

Doggy style is kind of uncomfortable for me but some other positions that we have tried give me more enjoyment.

Spooning always works best for me. It's just a matter of experimenting to see what works for you and your BF.

If they persist after that then I will go see a doctor, the problem with not being able to go immediately is that I don't have insurance and not much money to pay for a dr. visit. But I will have to find some way to get the money because I definitely don't want it to get worse.

Does your college have a Health Services Center (or the equivalent)? That might be worth looking into.

Good luck!

 

[aka Lusty]

Hmm..

To me it sounds more like mucosal prolapse rather than hemorrhoids. It can occur during anal sex as well as straining during bowel movements. You should definitely mention it to your doctor just to be on the safe side.

 

[TBKahuna123]

Well, the treatment of the two are basically the same, and it's hard to tell the difference. Really, the only way to tell is go to the doctor. I understand your financial situation, but if your school doesn't have a health care facility, I would try one of the free womens' clinics that most communities have. There's always medical treatment available to those who need it, and better safe than sorry. Which ever of these issues it is, catching them early makes for easier treatment to be sure.

 

[yoshimitsu]

So there is still the question of long term effects. Has any body here experienced any? A couple times this has been brought up on Love Line and DR Drew says it could greatly increase chances with incontenence in the future and other problems. Of course that is followed by "there haven't been enough studies to prove it" but it makes me wonder.
It also seems like one of those things that would be hard for word to spread since few who had these issues would feel comfortable sharing it along with the fact that the conection may not have even been made that it had to do with sex.
Just curious. I would hate to blow an O ring at 65 from having too much fun as a kid.

 

[MZR2.3]

check out puckerup.com, she answers basically all the questions asked in this thread and if you have a question she can answer it.

 

[Eilan]

Just curious. I would hate to blow an O ring at 65 from having too much fun as a kid.

Yeah, that would sure suck. Or blow. Or something.

I've wondered about this as well, but I haven't worried enough about it to stop what I'm doing. Besides, I didn't start having anal sex until I was in my late 20's, so maybe I don't have to worry until I'm 80 or so.

Um, hold on. I have to go change my diaper.

 

[aka Lusty]

I would hate to blow an O ring at 65 from having too much fun as a kid.

The possibility of fecal incontinence scares the shit out of me (no pun intended) and that is why I only engage in anal sex every once in a blue. I cringe whenever I see talk about anal training

 

[Chi-Guy31]

You'd have to have some pretty serious, constant and aggressive anal action to put yourself at risk as others mentioned here, whether you're a guy or girl on the receiving end. Even as a guy, I've been using dildos and butt plugs in my ass consistently for over 5 years now and have had no problems. I think the activity would have to be every day for many months before you experience problems. The anal experts Jack Morin and Tristan Taormino have been asked this question before, anyone concerned should check out their replies...

 

[yoshimitsu]

You'd have to have some pretty serious, constant and aggressive anal action to put yourself at risk as others mentioned here, whether you're a guy or girl on the receiving end. Even as a guy, I've been using dildos and butt plugs in my ass consistently for over 5 years now and have had no problems. I think the activity would have to be every day for many months before you experience problems. The anal experts Jack Morin and Tristan Taormino have been asked this question before, anyone concerned should check out their replies...

People who don't play with their asses have these problems as they get older. It is therorized that this will increase the chances that could happen. The problem is that by the time you find out it will be way too late. I also don't see too many 70 year olds talkig about how their body held up or the results they have had farther down the road. It could get more common as our generations get older but I guarentee there aren't too many people in my grandparents generation who would be comfortable discussing these things. It wouldn't even be likely they would tell their doctor unless there was a problem they felt confidant was directly related.

The only real way to know is to find a large group of people over the age of 65 who admit to doing somewhat regular anal activity and compare their ratio of problems with a group who has never done anal.

It would also be interesting to see if excercises like kegels and flexing your sphincter would make a difference.

 

[aka Lusty]

You'd have to have some pretty serious, constant and aggressive anal action to put yourself at risk as others mentioned here, whether you're a guy or girl on the receiving end. Even as a guy, I've been using dildos and butt plugs in my ass consistently for over 5 years now and have had no problems. I think the activity would have to be every day for many months before you experience problems. The anal experts Jack Morin and Tristan Taormino have been asked this question before, anyone concerned should check out their replies...

The so-called experts can claim what they like, but until someone comes up with some definitive answers on whether or not there are any long-term effects associated with anal play I'm not taking any chances. To each his own though.

 

[Kryocide]

The sphincter is a VERY strong and resilient muscle. Unless you're being repeatedly penetrated with someone's fist and arm, I'd say you're just straining too much, which having anal sex can create. Try to exhale out hard and compress the lower abs through your bowel movements, and use the INSIDES of your butt to push the junk out. Sometimes shifting side to side or arching your back and flattening your spine will help. Never strain OUTWARD with your sphincter, or else you might end up with hemorrhoids.

Also, after anal sex, you should concentrate and force your sphincter closed HARD (really, really hard -- and I don't mean squeeze your butt cheeks together) and then hold it for a few seconds. Repeat a few times. This will help stengthen the muscle and return it to normal size, AND should help keep it happy and tough through your aging years. Butt Depends are an ultimate fact of life, regardless, so enjoy everything while you can.

Relax...that is key. Have some chocolate...

 

[Eilan]

Unless you're being repeatedly penetrated with someone's fist and arm

 

[TBKahuna123]

The only real way to know is to find a large group of people over the age of 65 who admit to doing somewhat regular anal activity and compare their ratio of problems with a group who has never done anal.

Well I'll just lilve in the dark, because I'm not asking my grandma if she had any ill effects from taking it in the butt.

 

[Guest]

 

[salpecam]

65+ anal fans

Quite a few of my ladyfreinds have been over-60 fans of being anally penetrated, and by that I mean regularly, fully, for years. But I wouldn't know about fisting...

None of these ladies has exhibited the slightest incontinence, I suspect the number of people who develop that must go in for more extreme anal abuse than just regular sex.

Nor indeed were they especially lacking in anal tightness when penetrated by me, except perhaps to a tiny extent.

Never seen diapers!

 

[Chi-Guy31]

Quite a few of my ladyfreinds have been over-60 fans of being anally penetrated, and by that I mean regularly, fully, for years. But I wouldn't know about fisting...

None of these ladies has exhibited the slightest incontinence, I suspect the number of people who develop that must go in for more extreme anal abuse than just regular sex.

Nor indeed were they especially lacking in anal tightness when penetrated by me, except perhaps to a tiny extent.

Never seen diapers!

Thank you salpecam for broaching the subject with the over 65 crowd and getting us some "hard" info! Of course, now I will always wonder which over 65 people I know are also engaging in anal sex on a regular basis... ?

 

[yoshimitsu]

Thank you salpecam for broaching the subject with the over 65 crowd and getting us some "hard" info! Of course, now I will always wonder which over 65 people I know are also engaging in anal sex on a regular basis... ?

That gives me 40 more years.