how to get her to go smooth?

[silverwhisper]

helplessharold quoth:
i've been mulling that over. i'm not the jealous type, in fact i think her flirting is healthy since our sex lives were practically non existent, but i'm terrified that her answer would be 'a only for him' sort of thing. that would hurt, i know it shouldn't but it would suck there is something she'd for only for someone that wasn't me and that's scary. i do think that i'll have to ask her that question i just don't want to for anxiety sake.

not that i know a damned thing about your relationship with your wife but i would think it really improbable that there's someone for whom she still carries that kind of torch after you've been married for a few years now after having dated for however long prior.

obviously, you've got a choice to make here, but if what you fear really is the answer, then i think there's a much bigger problem in your relationship, don't you? me, i'd be much more concerned about that prospect. there's a very old saying in how to: problems in the bedroom have their origin outside of it. maybe it's a hygiene thing for her. maybe she feels icky about being smooth.

somehowyou quoth:
oh hi ed. i see your still here sucking up the old women that hand out on this thread and ostracize anyone with an opinion that does not conform to their own.

mm, no. as usual, your reading comprehension skills are teh sux. but that's OK, i've come to expect that with you.

you didn't actually read what i wrote, much less consider why i said it, did you? i'll explain and i'll use small words this time.

it has nothing to do with a preference for bush, trim or smooth. you did not read much--if anything--beyond what the original post said. if you had, you would have realized everything you said completely missed the mark.

somehowyou quoth:
i happen to think body hair is ugly. it belongs on your head and maybe your eyebrows.

this is what i believe. that is my opinion.

and you know, you're certainly entitled to your tastes. it's not like it's any of my damned business. but what puzzles me is that you seem to think that people are saying your opinion is somehow bad. nobody in this thread, myself included, is saying that.

the reason i compared you unfavorably to otto from a fish called wanda has nothing to do with that, though, which ought to be clear to anyone with two synapses to rub together. see, if you're going to be opinionated and state your opinions with some force, you better damned well be ready for others to do the same. because when you say things like

then keep your ugly, hairy, stinky bush. i wont eat a hairy pussy either just like the OP.

you invite snark. a lot of it. and snark's something we've got on HT in spades.

perhaps you've noticed that?

ed

 

[Somehowyou]

Oh Hi Ed. I haven't seen a Fish Called Wanda in over ~30 years so I have no idea who the fuck that character is and I do not care. I read the thread and I offered my advice. I typically come at it from a different angle then you and that cackling group of like minded hens on here and I will continue to do so. I don't like you Ed.

 

[LadyVer]

Oh Hi Ed. I haven't seen a Fish Called Wanda in over ~30 years so I have no idea who the fuck that character is and I do not care. I read the thread and I offered my advice. I typically come at it from a different angle then you and that cackling group of like minded hens on here and I will continue to do so. I don't like you Ed.

I reported your misogynist ass.

You're welcome.

 

[helplessharold]

Okay before this degrades any more let's address the compromises:

The compromises always come with a slap, "it's your problem", "it's natural", " a stray hair wont kill you". If you really want me to take a compromise seriously don't insult in the same breath. This problem for 99.9% of you is minor, but to me it's incredibly stressful. Some of you may have aversions to venomous snakes but that's a minor problem to me as I keep a couple as pets, it's the same deal here in reverse only I have issues with the mundane.

now for the few compromises that have been honest about helping me without spitting in my face, thank you! You all know who you are, I may not respond to all of you but I've taken into consideration what you've said and because of that I've come up with a strategy. Communication is key, everything I've done this year is to reestablish that harsh weak point. After the holidays me and the missus will be sitting down for a long talk, and I'll be trying out new stuff if nothing else works. No promises on how it will go, that's life, but I've decided to wait until after visiting family and friends over thanksgiving and Christmas because nothing is more awkward than having a possible blowup a few days before festivities.

That covers the two main points but on to the issue of shaving:

I hadn't even considered razor burn as I've never had it. I literally just grab the nearest razor run it under hot water and shave my beard away without a worry. This actually may be part of the problem as she is super susceptible to razor burn and I can't even begin to imagine the discomfort that must cause down there. That being said can anyone else share any more tips about that? The more info I have to bring to my upcoming conversation I'd greatly appreciate it as it would only make everything... err... smoother (pun not intended).

 

[GrrlFriday]

While it is stressful for you to have her hair there, for her it's stressful to shave it off - she's told you it makes her feel uncomfortably juvenile. Have you reassured her that it doesn't make her a kid to have a bare puss?

Razor burn, the time consumption, the difficulty of getting all the hair off and the uncomfortable sensation of wet panties sticking to the skin might also be factors in why she doesn't like shaving. Satindesire had a good tutorial for shaving legs in her first makeup fairy thread, but a tutorial I like (and can find at shorter notice) is here: http://www.the-clitoris.com/pubic_shaving

What do you tell her when she hints for more oral sex?

 

[helplessharold]

While it is stressful for you to have her hair there, for her it's stressful to shave it off - she's told you it makes her feel uncomfortably juvenile. Have you reassured her that it doesn't make her a kid to have a bare puss?

Razor burn, the time consumption, the difficulty of getting all the hair off and the uncomfortable sensation of wet panties sticking to the skin might also be factors in why she doesn't like shaving. Satindesire had a good tutorial for shaving legs in her first makeup fairy thread, but a tutorial I like (and can find at shorter notice) is here: http://www.the-clitoris.com/pubic_shaving

What do you tell her when she hints for more oral sex?

Yes, Concerns! I can handle concerns because they're easier to understand as to possible aversions. Thank you so much those are all things that are obvious that I hadn't considered because maintenance for a man is fairly simple.

When she hints, which isn't very often, I usually dissuade her in favor of other foreplay or acts. Spontaneity has sort of curbed the hints, every time sex gets too routine I mix things up to keep it from being mechanical.

 

[GrrlFriday]

On a positive note, at least she has experimented in the past with her pubic hair style, even if she has settled on something she likes which you don't.

An unfortunate side effect of distracting her with other foreplay and you being the creativity driver is that she may feel ignored. Is this a possibility?

 

[NightL]

Divorce - find a new partner. I bet one of the first things your to be ex-wife will do for her new partner is to shave or wax. Maybe she will be the one to make the move to leave you, 'cos you sure as hell will head down this path trying to make someone do what they don't care to do.

If she were to do this for you, while against her real wishes it would represent a gift. How inclined do think she really feels about gifting to someone she may feel pestered by?

Do a deal, offer her a chance to have an affair with anyone that takes her fancy in return for you obtaining a chance of seeing a hairless cunny (damn, I have never used that word before).

Seriously - what is important in life?

 

[NightL]

Mr Somehowyou

In all due respect (actually have very little) Somehowyou, hiring young prostitutes (for your routine) and your penchant for femboys does not really place you in a good position to advise someone who is married. Your opinion is rather void in this thread.

 

[Harold_Hill]

I have followed this thread into its fourth page, something I rarely do, but this one is interesting. And being so, here is my opinion of what HelplessHarold should do, (for whatever my opinion is worth). Men and women are very different creatures, and whether married or not, for any male/female relationship to work, there has to be compromise. For whatever reason, HelplessHarold can't perform sexually as most normal men do. He seems to have some sort of aversion to fucking, particularly when the beaver is hairy, (God only knows why); however, to compromise, he is willing to go down on his wife and take her to ecstasy with his tongue. And since he is willing to satisfy his wife with oral sex, the lease thing she can do is shave the God damn thing. It's just hair, it is not like she's cutting her damn leg off. She claims that being bear makes her feel prepubescent. Shaving her crotch has nothing to do with being prepubescent: she's a grown woman for God's sake. HelplessHarold, strap on some balls and tell your wife to shave her God damn box. If she were divorced, you can bet your bottom dollar she would shave it to please her new boyfriend. The least she can do is shave it for you.

And HelplessHarold, I don't care what your problem with sex and hair is, we all grow up with childhood hang-ups, but when most men reach adulthood, they take a long, hard look at the world around them and say "this sucks". And then they get over it! Take a look at your life as an adult, and decide who you want to be. Be a man who is proud of being able to satisfy his woman!

Getting rid of childhood hang-ups is making a conscious decision to change. Dump the childhood hang-ups, and be the man you need to be. That's what we all do. Men hang onto their childhood hang-ups because it makes them feel special: what makes you think you have the privilege to be different from the rest of us? We all have to get over our childhood hang-ups.

And get rid of the snakes! Their more creepy than crotch hair. By a dog or a cat or something with hair. Whatever hang-ups you think you have, they are just thoughts in your subconscious. They don't exist anywhere in any physical form anywhere on this planet. Childhood hang-ups are just imagination. Grow up and face life like the rest of us have to. No one ever said adult life was going to be easy.

I'm sure my opinion/rant has pissed off all of the women and half the men, but I had fun writing it.

 

[bailadora]

The compromises always come with a slap, "it's your problem", "it's natural", " a stray hair wont kill you". If you really want me to take a compromise seriously don't insult in the same breath. This problem for 99.9% of you is minor, but to me it's incredibly stressful. Some of you may have aversions to venomous snakes but that's a minor problem to me as I keep a couple as pets, it's the same deal here in reverse only I have issues with the mundane.

First off, bad analogy. Venomous snakes can actually hurt you, so that so called "aversion" has a basis in actual fact.

Second, how is it an insult to point out that your aversion to pubic hair is, in fact, your issue? You, yourself, even say so:

Yes the problem is me, and I can understand why most of you see hair as hair but to me it causes real anxiety when my face is close to it.

It's all nearly back the way that it was and after it is and once I can talk to her about it more openly I'll use those arguments if it's not completely her choice I'll let it go and start working on my own issues with hair.

Dude, we all have issues and hang ups, so I'm not knocking you for that. But what I don't understand (and maybe some of my fellow posters are cuing off of this as well), is why you appear to want her to justify her refusal to shave:

Yes, Concerns! I can handle concerns because they're easier to understand as to possible aversions

without appearing to offer nothing in return other than pubic hair squicks you out and

I really don't want to spend years working through this but if it's my only option I definitely will.

You want her to provide you with concrete concerns/reasons for not shaving, but all you can offer in return is an illogical aversion. And you appear to be unwilling to do anything about it because "it's too hard and too much work." In light of all of that, can you not understand why you're getting the written equivalent of the stink eye?

I realize this isn't what you wanted to hear, but on HT that's how it works. People tell you what they really think.

I would agree that good marriages require honest communication and compromise. That said, if my spouse wanted me to change something about myself that I have very strong opinions on, he'd better be able to give me a more compelling reason than "I don't like it." And if he wanted me to work towards compromise, he'd better be willing to work equally as hard on his own issues because I'm just not into one-sided solutions.

 

[TossHerSalad]

My wife shaved when we were young, (landing strip), and quit after our first child. After I revived her sex drive a year ago, she tried trimming, but hated it because it made her itchy down there.

So... I bought a Cleancut PS335 T-Shape Personal Shaver... and she let me trim her to see how it went. I'm surprised the shaver did a great job... but it did. And no more itches!

Now she comments how much better it feels when we play. I did too! Plus now I get the added pleasure of helping keep her trimmed up weekly. Win/win.

 

[Eilan]

Mr Somehowyou

In all due respect (actually have very little) Somehowyou, hiring young prostitutes (for your routine) and your penchant for femboys does not really place you in a good position to advise someone who is married. Your opinion is rather void in this thread.

Well, I wasn't gonna be the one to say it, but there ya go.

 

[Olive Hizklosoff]

Really?

I’ve read this whole thread and, I gotta tell you, it’s laughable. A 28-year old who only likes to eat hairless pussy is married to a woman who won’t shave her snatch. What seems to be a safe bet is that she really doesn’t want you to eat her, that maybe she finds that activity not to her taste. After all, if you were the pussy-eating king and could send her to places she’s never been when you eat her, you'd think she might want to shave.

If you’re for real, I think you need to get over yourself and find a good therapist.

 

[silverwhisper]

you know, i somehow missed this earlier:

that's sort of why it's a big deal to me but because sex freaked me out for so long pubic hair more than grosses me out, it brings up a lot of past anxiety for some weird reason.

i have absolutely no idea what that sentence means. sex of any kind freaked you out, and pubic hair brings up a lot of past anxiety for some weird reason? not to play dime store shrink, but do you understand how those 2 statements together are potentially alarming, especially given how quickly the one leads to the other?

i'm also a little confused with your narrative. first you say you only have sex highly infrequently, then you say you spent a lot of this past year having a whole lot. the periodicity is entirely subjective: for some people once/week is a drought of biblical proportions, whereas for others, once/week is something they would be every so grateful for.

look: your wife has already said it completely grosses her out to shave bare. she's already compromising by trimming as she does. and she's mentioned that it's uncomfortable, although a few helpful folks have provided suggestions to help here.

but it really sounds to me like you need to do a lot more work on you here. you particularly need to understand why sex freaked you out, as well as why you have bad associations related to pubic hair. i'm not saying you should explain it in the thread, but it sounds to me a lot like you haven't got answers yourself. and you need them.

i still think you should ask your wife what changed her mind about shaving vs trimming, incidentally.

ed

 

[silverwhisper]

somehowyou quoth:
i typically come at it from a different angle then you and that cackling group of like minded hens on here and i will continue to do so.

i'm sure you believe you offer a vast wealth of useful, relevant information that you even offer without a shred of misogyny. this is a useful example of how belief and reality can be different--sometimes, wildly so.

somehowyou quoth:
i don't like you ed.

see, my opinion of you is slightly more nuanced. for a long time i have felt that you're an ignorant, immature imbecile incapable of forming honest, healthy relationships with people his own age whose sense of entitlement is dwarfed only by his overestimation of what his advice is worth. and you've amply proven me right yet again with your continuing to give "advice" that doesn't actually meaningfully engage what the OP has said or understand the context of the situation. it's kinda your thing, really, your [modus operandi[/i].

and wow, but is it ever tiresome.

ed

 

[helplessharold]

I'm back from the holidays!

first off I did get a chuckle out of a few of the responses, so thank you for that.

Lastly on the car ride home I had the talk with her. Here's the conclusion of the talk: she did shave when she was younger for herself, she lived in southern Arizona and was self conscious that a stray hair would show when she went swimming. She doesn't want to shave again because of the itchy feeling of the hair growing back the feeling of prepubescence was an excuse because she didn't want to be pushed to it, which I can understand... those hairs freaking coming back in is like a mosquito has been let loose on my groin some days. Anyways, she offered to try a depilatory product which I said I'd do it as well so we could experience the burn together. We both agreed if she didn't feel this method worked for her I wouldn't try and convince her to keep it up. She did laugh at my reasoning and that I'd turned to a forum, but she's used to how weird I am thankfully.

seems rather anticlimactic wish I had more to tell you guys. Thank you to all of you who nudged me forward, and thanks as well for the information. Again I know it was minor to the majority of you but it helped to read your thoughts!

Well in the words of porky pig "that's all folks!"

 

[khlarrissa]

Glad to read you've talked about it and potentially worked out a compromise. I've read through most of the thread, but possibly missed a post or two, so apologies if I'm repeating suggestions.

I wondered if one compromise is to shave the undercarriage, but leave bush on top? I've gone totally bare a few times and it just doesn't look right on me, but I keep the undercarriage and a bit near the bottom of the mound hairless. Now, if the SIGHT of pubic hair squicks you out, this probably isn't a solution, but if it's hang-up about getting a pubic hair in your mouth, might this be enough landscaping to satisfy your need and her preferences?

As for shaving, I highly recommend Skintimate shaving creams (just about any store) and Wet Inttimo's Kitty Kreme (adult stores and online) for the tender/rash areas. I can do most of my area with Skintimate, but I find that the bit at the bottom of the mound does better with the Kitty Kreme.

And as others have suggested, therapy may not be a bad idea. At 28, there's still so much time ahead of you and so much sex to be enjoyed with your wife. Some time in therapy is a small price to pay to potentially work through that hang-up.

 

[helplessharold]

Glad to read you've talked about it and potentially worked out a compromise. I've read through most of the thread, but possibly missed a post or two, so apologies if I'm repeating suggestions.

I wondered if one compromise is to shave the undercarriage, but leave bush on top? I've gone totally bare a few times and it just doesn't look right on me, but I keep the undercarriage and a bit near the bottom of the mound hairless. Now, if the SIGHT of pubic hair squicks you out, this probably isn't a solution, but if it's hang-up about getting a pubic hair in your mouth, might this be enough landscaping to satisfy your need and her preferences?

As for shaving, I highly recommend Skintimate shaving creams (just about any store) and Wet Inttimo's Kitty Kreme (adult stores and online) for the tender/rash areas. I can do most of my area with Skintimate, but I find that the bit at the bottom of the mound does better with the Kitty Kreme.

And as others have suggested, therapy may not be a bad idea. At 28, there's still so much time ahead of you and so much sex to be enjoyed with your wife. Some time in therapy is a small price to pay to potentially work through that hang-up.

I forgot to mention the therapy! Knew I was forgetting something!

I'm finishing up my degree, so not a ton of room for therapy. It's something I knew I would eventually need and it's the top of my list after I get a decent career because I would like to put a lid on some of my weird phobias (for instance I'm terrified of phones). I know I never responded to anyone suggesting so because to me that was a given, I know I have issues and professional help may be a way out I'm not too crazy to not see that haha!

Hopefully that wraps it all up, but if not I'll try and respond asap to any other posts.

 

[fire_breeze]

I forgot to mention the therapy! Knew I was forgetting something!

I'm finishing up my degree, so not a ton of room for therapy. It's something I knew I would eventually need and it's the top of my list after I get a decent career because I would like to put a lid on some of my weird phobias (for instance I'm terrified of phones). I know I never responded to anyone suggesting so because to me that was a given, I know I have issues and professional help may be a way out I'm not too crazy to not see that haha!

Hopefully that wraps it all up, but if not I'll try and respond asap to any other posts.

As someone who is doing a post-grad degree, working full time, volunteers heavily, has a social life and still finds time for the gym and therapy, I am going to suggest this: You have the time. Find it. You just have to prioritise and figure out what is important to you. Otherwise, you will find excuses to put it off again. Trust me on this.

 

[Aphro]

I'm back from the holidays!

first off I did get a chuckle out of a few of the responses, so thank you for that.

Lastly on the car ride home I had the talk with her. Here's the conclusion of the talk: she did shave when she was younger for herself, she lived in southern Arizona and was self conscious that a stray hair would show when she went swimming. She doesn't want to shave again because of the itchy feeling of the hair growing back the feeling of prepubescence was an excuse because she didn't want to be pushed to it, which I can understand... those hairs freaking coming back in is like a mosquito has been let loose on my groin some days. Anyways, she offered to try a depilatory product which I said I'd do it as well so we could experience the burn together. We both agreed if she didn't feel this method worked for her I wouldn't try and convince her to keep it up. She did laugh at my reasoning and that I'd turned to a forum, but she's used to how weird I am thankfully.

seems rather anticlimactic wish I had more to tell you guys. Thank you to all of you who nudged me forward, and thanks as well for the information. Again I know it was minor to the majority of you but it helped to read your thoughts!

Well in the words of porky pig "that's all folks!"

Suggestion: Magic Shave powder.

http://pics2.ds-static.com/prodimg/15006/300.jpg

It's actually a beard depilatory for black men...but don't let that scare you. Works great on the pubic area. Downside is it stinks. But it works better than Nair or Neet or any of those other products.

 

[UhlBWett]

Hmmmmmm

Suggestion: Magic Shave powder.

http://pics2.ds-static.com/prodimg/15006/300.jpg

It's actually a beard depilatory for black men...but don't let that scare you. Works great on the pubic area. Downside is it stinks. But it works better than Nair or Neet or any of those other products.

Taking notes....

 

[DiskoTroop]

I don't think I know any women who aren't already. It all happened quite suddenly. One day women were haired the next day none seemed to be. It was a lot like that Greek Yogurt thing. One day yogurt the next day Greek yogurt only

 

[khlarrissa]

Taking notes....

I was browsing the pinned FAQ board yesterday -- the one that has an index of popular How To boards -- and noticed two threads on Magic Shave:

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=212726&highlight=hair+removal

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=223768

 

[helplessharold]

As someone who is doing a post-grad degree, working full time, volunteers heavily, has a social life and still finds time for the gym and therapy, I am going to suggest this: You have the time. Find it. You just have to prioritise and figure out what is important to you. Otherwise, you will find excuses to put it off again. Trust me on this.

Budget wise not time wise. Loads of time haha.