How to have a successful first date

[Saphs]

Not only a first date with a person, but a first date ever! I think it might be this coming Friday. We've been talking on a dating website and I quite like her so far.

So, any tips?!

 

[NeonKnickers]

Not only a first date with a person, but a first date ever! I think it might be this coming Friday. We've been talking on a dating website and I quite like her so far.

So, any tips?!

http://www.fantasiescometrue.com/images/medium/fct_6543562b5f6b4cc.jpg

And smile. And listen.

 

[CWatson]

Seriously, yes: be yourself. There's no set etiquette for a first date except whatever works for between the two people on the date. That's why some people are happily married who fucked on the first date, and others who didn't even kiss until their wedding. Dating is all about, "Do we like each other?", and she can't find that out if you fake things.

Also, consider mentioning to her at some point that it is your first date. This will either turn her off--which is good, since it shows how interested she is in you--or make her more gentle and helpful--which is good, since it shows how interested she is in you. You can't lose!

And above all, have fun. If you are anything like most people, you will have quite a few first dates over the course of your life. This makes the hardest kind of sense: we date in order to find someone we want to spend the rest of our lives with, but a lot of times that's a matter of trial and error. So honestly, the more variety you get, the better off you are. So don't go into it thinking, "This is the be-all and end-all of my dating life, if I don't impress her I will die alone and be found three weeks later half eaten by an Alsatian," because that's about as non-true as it gets. There will be other dates. So enjoy this one for what it is: a chance to have fun and meet someone new.

 

[dabob1984]

Yes I agree with a-lot said above. Mainly being yourself. If your being yourself online and don't act much different then you do on-line. Then is shouldn't be a problem.

I would suggest also taking a small gift with you, which will help lighten the mood and she should be thankful for the kind gesture.

Good-luck!

 

[shiny5437]

I haven't had sex in 3 years and I've definitely been myself for all of those.

I have no advice to offer. Let us know how it works out.

 

[Saphs]

Thanks for the fabulous tips. I'm going to try and keep 'BE YOURSELF' at the forefront of my mind!

I've been celibate for 3yrs, too, shiny. But I think I'm ready to dust myself off, hop back on the horse and try to trust somebody again.

 

[EdwardMidweston]

The only thing I can add is to remain keenly aware that a first date is only a first date. Obviously, nobody wants bad experiences but unless your date is a mass murderer, even the worst case scenario won't be the end of the world. Just do your best and be prepared to move on if necessary.
The main thing is not to let "little formless fears" overwhelm you so much that you give up.

 

[NightL]

Listen... ask questions... be careful that nerves don't have you talking about yourself too much.

Don't place any expectations on the evening except to just enjoy the company and conversation of another.

 

[wahoo33]

Listen... ask questions... be careful that nerves don't have you talking about yourself too much.

Don't place any expectations on the evening except to just enjoy the company and conversation of another.

Great answer, nerves and normal human insecurity have a way of making people talk about themselves too much. Just be genuinely interested in your date as a person and try to relax. Listen more than you talk.

 

[WaitWhatt]

Don't think too much into the word "date". Don't go by what you see on TV or what an article says it should be. Things always play out in your head better or differently than they do in real life so don't do that. Just go with the flow, have fun, etc. If you get on well enough online that you want to take the next step then it should come just as easy. Personally I always find eating/dinner with someone awkward and avoid it.

 

[klippert]

Don't' lie about your self. Don't talk politics. Unless thats where you met. Don't challenge them to arm-wrestle

 

[subwannabe]

My response was already taken but I have to repeat to be yourself. Don't try too hard. Ask her questions about herself and don't be one of those idiots who can't talk about anything but himself or sports. Find something that interests her and talk about that. Don't tell her lies but don't offer anything that could make you look bad. Everyone has things that maybe they don't want others to know so only talk about them when the time is right. A girl once told me she went out on a frist date with a guy who told her he kept a gun in his car's glove compartment to keep his ex under control. Needless to say she found a way to end the first date very fast.

 

[shiny5437]

Sorry for being negative there, passing phase - good luck, I hope it works out for you!

 

[Saphs]

Thank you all for the great responses and tips. We're meeting for the first time on the 24th of this month, and we've been texting each other, too.

I think we'll more than likely to go to a local gay pub. It's quiet, has a good atmosphere and is obviously gay friendly. I'm looking forward to it, if not a little scared!

 

[jckontharocks]

Thank you all for the great responses and tips. We're meeting for the first time on the 24th of this month, and we've been texting each other, too.

I think we'll more than likely to go to a local gay pub. It's quiet, has a good atmosphere and is obviously gay friendly. I'm looking forward to it, if not a little scared!

Eating in front of people can be nerve wracking. You should avoid dinner or eating in front of eachother. You are still trying to get to know eachother, don't get overly intoxicated. You'll look stupid and may regret some decisions. Silence isn't a bad thing don't assume anything. Just because they aren't saying anything doesn't mean they are unpleased or upset. Let information process when conversing. If you feel uncomfortable or don't know what to say, DON'T SAY ANYTHING. A simple smile will do. Best wishes.

 

[jckontharocks]

Thank you all for the great responses and tips. We're meeting for the first time on the 24th of this month, and we've been texting each other, too.

I think we'll more than likely to go to a local gay pub. It's quiet, has a good atmosphere and is obviously gay friendly. I'm looking forward to it, if not a little scared!

Eating in front of people can be nerve wracking. You should avoid dinner or eating in front of eachother. You are still trying to get to know eachother, don't get overly intoxicated. You'll look stupid and may regret some decisions. Silence isn't a bad thing don't assume anything. Just because they aren't saying anything doesn't mean they are unpleased or upset. Let information process when conversing. If you feel uncomfortable or don't know what to say, DON'T SAY ANYTHING. A simple smile will do. Best wishes.

 

[Saphs]

Thanks for the advice, jckontharocks! I'd definitely veer away from eating on a first date. I'm slightly reserved when it comes to eating in front of people anyway, so definitely would hold back any eating until we've been out a few times.

Does anyone have any advice of what good topics of conversation might be? I know the things she stated on her profile which I can delve further into, but is there anything we can talk about which might raise a laugh or a light discussion? Opinions welcome!

 

[SweetErika]

I don't think there's anything wrong with eating on a first date. In fact, I'd find it odd if the date was near a mealtime and the other person didn't at least order a snack. Socializing over food often adds to the camaraderie and gives us a common experience as well as other ways to get to know people, I think. Consider our long history of getting together over food, and social norms regarding eating together. If I'm meeting for coffee or a drink, I wouldn't typically order any food unless I needed to eat, but if we met at a restaurant or somewhere with good food and we might be hungry, I definitely would order at least a snack or two.

Etiquette typically dictates avoiding MESSY and potentially offensive foods on a first date/until you've gotten to know someone better. Things like spaghetti, big sandwiches, uncracked crab/lobster, corn on the cob, artichokes, messy burgers and tacos can be tough to eat without looking like a slob and/or risking getting stuff on you. Likewise, foods that are pungent (oniony, garlicky, heavily spiced, fishy, etc.) or potentially offensive or unattractive (maybe that whole fish with the eye looking at you, a hunk of meat if your date is a vegetarian, raw oysters...) are probably best to avoid until you've gotten to know your date better. Then again, plenty of people enjoy like messy BBQ and pungent foods on their first dates, so you and your date can do whatever you want, really!

Just relax and have fun!

 

[new_to_you]

i think people tend to try really hard to be impressive on a first date, and worry too much about what the other person thinks of them. i always think of a first date the same way you think of a job interview, in the sense that it's not all about whether or not you make them like you, but if you like them too. so yeah, be yourself. i love that BEE picture, by the way, in the first response. very cute.

 

[Saphs]

Well, date is tomorrow night. We're meeting at a local gay pub. So scared and excited at the same time. Massive bubbly vat of emotions in my stomach!

 

[bailadora]

Well, date is tomorrow night. We're meeting at a local gay pub. So scared and excited at the same time. Massive bubbly vat of emotions in my stomach!

Good luck!

 

[OnYourKnees40]

Go for it.

 

[Saphs]

Thanks for the well wishes! The date went really well. Conversation flowed easily all night, and any short silences were comfortable and not awkward in the slightest.

She is really lovely and hopefully we can go out again sometime soon in the near future.

 

[Que]

Glad it went well. Congratulations!
!