How to have anal sex...without it hurting..

[firenzi]

I can't remember if anyone has already mentioned it, but there's an excellent book called "The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women" by Tristan Taormino. She's also directed a few instructional porn videos about anal sex.

Nina Hartley has a couple of anal videos in her instructional series, too. I think they're from the early 90's so the hair/music might be a little dated, but the information is still good. Nina Hartley was a nurse before she was a porn star- she knows her stuff and is very well spoken. Her instructional videos are really good, imo.

 

[RAddams]

I can't remember if anyone has already mentioned it, but there's an excellent book called "The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women" by Tristan Taormino. She's also directed a few instructional porn videos about anal sex.

Nina Hartley has a couple of anal videos in her instructional series, too. I think they're from the early 90's so the hair/music might be a little dated, but the information is still good. Nina Hartley was a nurse before she was a porn star- she knows her stuff and is very well spoken. Her instructional videos are really good, imo.

I have never experienced anal from the receiving end but I am amazed that a whole book can be written about how to do it. I will have to get my hands on the book.

 

[priapusone]

nice

I think it should be fun in every case!

 

[DAVIDSride656]

Lots and lots of lube !!!
I was never interested in anal until I met my current man.. But with lots of lube and a finger at a time u build up a tolerance and before u know it your banging in the ass sooner than you think

 

[AevaLynn]

I am a huge fan of anal, it actually was what inspired me to start a lil blog writing . When my husband and I first tried anal it hurt like hell and we didn't try again for years. A few years ago my sex drive kicked into high gear and ass play became a huge turn on so I started looking for information.
The first thing I learned is that you really have to start solo before you introduce cock into the mix. Start with fingers and small toys, lots of lube ! Never can you use too much lube with anal ! From there you can possibly let your partner play along or watch. Work your way up with the toys to larger sizes until you can successfully use one that is cock size with pleasure.
I just wrote a lil piece on a method I read on another site, the three finger method, and my hubby and I tried it out. During foreplay have your partner use his fingers to penetrate until you are hot and bothered and he can insert three fingers into your ass comfortably. Now you are ready ! If your like me you might climax about this time which is incredibly intense, my lover chose this time to remove his fingers and slip inside, it was so sexy, hot ! Use lots of lube and go slow, you'll likely climax again once he's fully inside you .

Good luck with it ! If you like I have some good info link I like, not sure if I can link them here so your welcome to message me.
xoxo
Aeva

 

[AevaLynn]

I can't remember if anyone has already mentioned it, but there's an excellent book called "The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women" by Tristan Taormino. She's also directed a few instructional porn videos about anal sex.

Nina Hartley has a couple of anal videos in her instructional series, too. I think they're from the early 90's so the hair/music might be a little dated, but the information is still good. Nina Hartley was a nurse before she was a porn star- she knows her stuff and is very well spoken. Her instructional videos are really good, imo.

This is a great book ! I love it as well as that site ! When I first decided to try anal I got all my information from Tristen's site.

 

[firenzi]

The thing I like about TT's book and both TT's and NH's videos, is that they address the psychological/mental aspects of anal sex, as both giver and receiver. They're also frank about the differences between sex for the camera and real life sex. The videos are good to watch with a partner because while informative, they're also full out porn.

 

[mjar65]

NY play time?

Hey - I've been away for a while so only found this thread. You mentioned the two of you having your own room sometime after NYE. I imagine everyone who's posted would love to hear how it works out.

Really hope you can have some great fun and you both get your wish of fantastic anal sex.

Two points from me - just like vaginal sex, your first few times are never going to be as good as what comes later. It just does take a little practice and experience to get the best from it. A lot of people find its worth it in the case of anal. There's been a lot of good advice here about how to prepare and build up so you're more ready that first time.

BUT!!! ...please don't put too much pressure on yourself. I don't think anyone else has mentioned this so far, but my experience is that not all women enjoy anal sex. Some find it totally non-arousing... some find it uncomfortable and some find it painful.

That might apply to you too. In which case at least you both have the satisfaction of knowing you tried. And at least you might be content with anal play being more limited to rimming and some very gentle, shallow finger work.

Good luck!

 

[naughtylilmomma]

You can never have too much lube with anal. It's a proven fact. If you think you've used enough, add a little more and you'll be set!

 

[prettykitty78]

I started by letting him finger my ass first just rubbing with his thumb then inserting his thumb, I had to enjoy that feeling first. then when proceeded to rub his penis against my asshole with tons.. and I mean tons of lub both on his penis and my asshole, Id did mine in a missionary postition, so he could see my reactions weather I was inviting him more inside me or showing him to stop let me get used to this feeling then we can go further, it took us 30 mins to get him all the way in the first time.. and once in he had to move softly, but trust me it doesnt take long for them to get off with it being so tight and the mental turn on of it actually happening. we did this a few times this way and now im almost used to it still have to enter slowly but then I cant take it harder and faster now, been doing at least 10 times now.

 

[firenzi]

Instead of using massive amounts of water-based lube (which you may need to continually reapply because it dries up), consider using a silicone-based lube. For anal sex it really can't be beat- it doesn't dry up and it's very slick, so a small, single application is usually all you need. It's also latex compatible so safe with condoms.

Just remember to keep a couple of things in mind: silicone lube is not compatible with all silicone toys (it's usually okay with high grade silicone but do a test patch); it needs to be washed off/out in the shower or bath (you can't just "leave it" like water based lube); it can be irritating afterwards if you use it for vaginal sex (water-based is generally best for vaginal).

 

[PleasePeesMe]

The Right Stuff

I really like the idea of him screwing me in the butt, and so yes, we tried it in his grandparents basement one day. He tried to be easy and gentle using my vagina as lube, but I ended up almost crying like ready to bawl by the end of it begging him to quit. I really want to be able to do this, and when I watch porn, I see the girls do it and I'm like God how do they do that! lol. It's something he's begged me to try, but now he's even not wanting to do it after I begged him to stop and almost started crying. I want our sex life to have that kind of stuff in it to keep it spicy, but I just can't get past the pain! What are we doing wrong? Do you have to have it so many times a week to get used to it or something?

I've only just joined Lit, that's why this reply is nearly a year after your thread. But you sounded desperate, so I thought I'd give you my experience. Don't use your vaginal juices as a lubricant, they're not enough. We use Wet Stuff, a very good Australian lubricant and lots of it. First, a lot of lubricant around your anus, then a well lubed finger in you up to just past the first knuckle. He should leave it there for a while and your sphincter muscles will get used to it and relax. Then more Wet Stuff on his cock. He'll have to push, of course, but only enough to get the head inside you. Then, he should be quite still and let your sphincter relax. And he should remain still. When you're ready, push back against him, as much or as little as you want to. It may take two or three minutes to get all oh him inside you, but once he's all in you can start to fuck. SLOWLY AND GENTLY. If you're anything like my wife, you'll think it was worth the effort. She describes it as "absolutely wonderful".
Good luck, I hope you make it.

 

[mjar65]

lube

Thanks Firenze - some good advice about things to consider with lube.

I have to disagree somewhat about the 'fact' mentioned by other posters that 'you can never have enough lube'. My experience has been that you both want to be able to maintain some control... and not have his cock slipping and sliding all over the place... either he can't actually maintain enough pressure to actually penetrate or can't really feel how fast or deep he's pushing into you (generally a worry for first-time recipients).

For beginners its a balance where you need to make things as comfy and easy as possible. At the same time you don't want to be swimming in lube and have you both slipping in all directions.

Just take your time and experiment to see what works for you. And most of the advice on this thread is worth a try.