How to last longer??

[mathis847]

how to get your guy to last longer

ok this is pretty weird to say but ok , its not that i dont like the sex , its basically that it doesnt last as long as i want it to ... so ... how can i make it last longer ????

 

[VampireD]

Drink more whiskey..usually helps...or stop jerking off so much

 

[alwaysdying]

I'd recommend talking to him about it. Don't lead off with something like "the sex isn't long enough" though...He could go immediately on the defensive. Go more for something along the lines of "next time we have sex I want you to fuck me so long that I can't take it anymore". That'll give him a mission to accomplish, as well as get him really hot. And he'll really feel like he's "the man" if he does go for a really long time. Be encouraging, and let him know when you want him to cum. Look deep into his eyes and beg for him to cum...Guys love that

OR

You could try either having him masturbate or get him off some other way earlier in the day before you have sex. That'll most likely help him last longer, as his body will still be recovering.

Hope some of this helps. In the end its all about stamina, and if you're not getting what you need out of the sex, then he's gotta build it up. Either by having a reason NOT to come or by just physically building it by having sex longer and longer each time.

Alwaysdying

 

[emap]

there is a little trick I learned a while back with a speedy guy, not all of them cum fast because they are physically unable to last.

Talk to him during. Not kidding, talk to him, relate your day, tell him jokes, make small talk, basically anything but oh yes fuck me harder, I just love your cock in me. Well that and sex stories, stay away from sexual things because you let his mind wander back and your flooded.

Also, if he is concerned about how long he lasts, tell him to think of other things, doesn't have to be quantum physics, can be how to assemble a carberator, or how many spots are on the roof, though that one is hard to do with him on top.

The whole trick is to get him thinking of something else until you want him turning on the fountain or he can't help but think about how good you feel.

Course you can always buy condoms, either the regular ones or the decrease sensation ones, though really just a condom apparently slows a guy down. Though I don't have any experience in that area, it's made the rounds on the forums.

 

[hogjack]

Threats, innuendos and boot-stomping demands should get him going. Cut off his supply of hookers and insist he stop visiting the local massage parlor that's been raided 6 times this year. And a man in his 70s needs some visual imagery to dissuade his early departure, so to speak: I recommend movie posters from Ingmar Bergman films.

On your part pick a position and stick with it. You jump around like some hyper Olympic gymnast. No calling him names like "Thundergod" or "SuperBone" - that kind of urging just makes us try too hard.

And shave your knuckles.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

Threats, innuendos and boot-stomping demands should get him going. Cut off his supply of hookers and insist he stop visiting the local massage parlor that's been raided 6 times this year. And a man in his 70s needs some visual imagery to dissuade his early departure, so to speak: I recommend movie posters from Ingmar Bergman films.

On your part pick a position and stick with it. You jump around like some hyper Olympic gymnast. No calling him names like "Thundergod" or "SuperBone" - that kind of urging just makes us try too hard.

And shave your knuckles.

LMFAO!!

 

[mathis847]

um , well .. for the most part .. or some of it .. ive tried talking to him about it . and it doesnt work ... at all .. really . we use condoms .. so that doesnt help much ... i dont know .. he just nuts quickly .. i dont use dirty talk really .. um .. so .. i dont know what the problem is .. maybe i should get him drunk .. lol .. maybe that or viagra ???

 

[webber1998]

ok this is pretty weird to say but ok , its not that i dont like the sex , its basically that it doesnt last as long as i want it to ... so ... how can i make it last longer ????

Positions made all the difference for me. If the woman was on top... forget it...
face to face worked best and changing rhythm. Slowing down a little as I got closer to cumming....

 

[Eilan]

How old is he? Some younger guys have this problem.

My ex was like this throughout our relationship. The position we used didn't seem to matter; as soon as I'd start getting into the sex--BAM! it was over.

I agree that he might last longer the second time around if he masturbates beforehand, but this obviously won't work if he's one of those one-and-done guys.

I think it's something that he's going to have to work on, and it'll take some time. In the meantime, make sure that he's getting you off with his hands or tongue before he cums. If he's not willing to do this, he's probably not worth keeping around, anyway.

There have been some stamina-related threads started by guys--you might want to see if you can dig them up. Some of the tips in those thread might help.

 

[mathis847]

How old is he? Some younger guys have this problem.

My ex was like this throughout our relationship. The position we used didn't seem to matter; as soon as I'd start getting into the sex--BAM! it was over.

I agree that he might last longer the second time around if he masturbates beforehand, but this obviously won't work if he's one of those one-and-done guys.

I think it's something that he's going to have to work on, and it'll take some time. In the meantime, make sure that he's getting you off with his hands or tongue before he cums. If he's not willing to do this, he's probably not worth keeping around, anyway.

There have been some stamina-related threads started by guys--you might want to see if you can dig them up. Some of the tips in those thread might help.

funny you mention the one and done thing .. cause thats pretty much how it is .. once he nuts , hes done .. im not saying that the sex isnt good , it is , when he lasts more then 15 mins . but other then that .. its like.. a major disappointment for me really ... oral is the best for him ... outside of that he needs major work ... weve been having sex for awhile now though ..i mean its not like its something new or anything .. hes 25 years old ..his excuse is " he has to get used to having sex on a reg. basis " and my line of thinking is that shouldnt even be the problem ... what do you think ???? im thinking he needs viagra !

 

[Eilan]

im thinking he needs viagra !

I don't know if you're saying this jokingly or not, but Viagra's for guys with erectile dysfunction. Sounds to me like he doesn't have any trouble getting it up.

Sounds to me like you two might have issues that go beyond his stamina. It's best to discuss them before one or the other of you starts harboring resentments. Been there, done that.

Good luck.

 

[SweetErika]

funny you mention the one and done thing .. cause thats pretty much how it is .. once he nuts , hes done .. im not saying that the sex isnt good , it is , when he lasts more then 15 mins . but other then that .. its like.. a major disappointment for me really ... oral is the best for him ... outside of that he needs major work ... weve been having sex for awhile now though ..i mean its not like its something new or anything .. hes 25 years old ..his excuse is " he has to get used to having sex on a reg. basis " and my line of thinking is that shouldnt even be the problem ... what do you think ???? im thinking he needs viagra !

Is intercourse really the problem? Would him lasting longer give you that much more satisfaction, or is the main issue that there's too little foreplay to get you to orgasm? I ask because fifteen minutes of thrusting doesn't sound like a problem to me, at least not if I'm already satisfied and just going for additional pleasure.

My husband has never lasted long. The only exceptions are when we're in the second/third round or he's masturbated that day. Regular sex and condoms have never helped. The thing is, I don't see this as a problem at all because we have so much foreply that I've already had at least one good orgasm by the time we have sex, AND I'm thrilled he's so turned on and don't want him to diminish his pleasure by holding back.

So, perhaps focusing on the non-PiV sex stuff will make up for what you perceive as a lack of stamina. There's no reason he can't continue to pleasure you after sex, either -- take a bit of a break, and ask him to work on you for a bit, or even to help you masturbate. If he's not willing to try to find solutions with you, he's not sex or relationship material.

 

[Soloman205]

O.K. I'm not ashamed to admit it. I have NO problem getting it up but I really need to last longer. I've tried the "think of something else" thing. Doesn't work too long. I've tried the "special" condoms with the de-sensitize stuff on them. Makes it too soft. So I would LOVE some other suggestions. I do engage in foreplay and she is really wet before we start but that's part of the problem. She's sooo wet and hot that it feels sooo good that I go fast!! Any suggestions??

 

[mathis847]

ok .. erika .. see .. you already know the problem with me and orgasms , its hard enough for me to get that .. and then when we do have sex .. his second round is a couple nights later .. honestly .. its whenever hes up for it .. period .. if i bug him about it .. he gets all edgy and stuff .. and when i talk to him about it .. all he says is hell make it up , which he really doesnt .. i dont know if he really tries , or if he does it just to get me off his back .. its pulling teeth to get sex honestly .. its hard to explain .. maybe in a personal email sometime

 

[VampireD]

Drink more beer... or hey rum, vodka, rye... there are pills out there to man..just go pick up a mens' health mag...littered thoroughout it

 

[Big Ben IV]

change up you speed and rythm if you feel it coming slow down some when it passes pick the pace back up just dont go at it till you cum, you just need a good sense on how close you are.

 

[hogjack]

Recite the chemical element table while you "do it" and get more damned exercise. And set a reasonable goal. Start of at a minute and go from there.

 

[SweetErika]

ok .. erika .. see .. you already know the problem with me and orgasms , its hard enough for me to get that .. and then when we do have sex .. his second round is a couple nights later .. honestly .. its whenever hes up for it .. period .. if i bug him about it .. he gets all edgy and stuff .. and when i talk to him about it .. all he says is hell make it up , which he really doesnt .. i dont know if he really tries , or if he does it just to get me off his back .. its pulling teeth to get sex honestly .. its hard to explain .. maybe in a personal email sometime

As Eilan said, it sounds like your problems are far deeper than him not lasting long enough. And, I'm willing to bet a good portion of your trouble orgasming is related to the way you two approach sex; there's no way I'd come if I even thought my partner MIGHT not be totally into it, didn't try, it was like pulling teeth to get them to have sex, or I anticipated some disappointment.

If there are fundamental problems in the relationship or your interaction, solving peripheral issues like lasting longer isn't going to help--it's like putting a bandaid on for a broken bone. If you want any hope of the sex getting better, you'll BOTH have to address the real problems.

 

[SweetErika]

O.K. I'm not ashamed to admit it. I have NO problem getting it up but I really need to last longer. I've tried the "think of something else" thing. Doesn't work too long. I've tried the "special" condoms with the de-sensitize stuff on them. Makes it too soft. So I would LOVE some other suggestions. I do engage in foreplay and she is really wet before we start but that's part of the problem. She's sooo wet and hot that it feels sooo good that I go fast!! Any suggestions??

Check The Blank Manual sticky at the top of How To, and do an advanced search of thread titles. There have been plenty of threads packed with really good suggestions.

 

[RawAndNatural]

He may be avoiding sex somewhat becuase he feels inadequate about not lasting long enough, or about his size. Performance anxiety is tough. I struggle with it.

Experts say not to just think of something odd, but to imagine yourself lasting longer.

Also, he needs to get himself used ot not spasming and being still in your vagina. If he gets too close, he can pull out and finger you, then enter you again when his tingle subsides. If he does this daily or weekly, he will begin to feel the urge come upon him later and later. He will get to where he can stay in and not pull out, but just have to stay still inside. Last, it is to get to the point where the rythm only needs to slow down or change to delay things.

So, that is relax and visualize lasting long.
Pull out when the tingle is too strong.
Weeks later stop and stay in when the tingle is too strong.
Weeks/months later, slow down when the tingle is too strong.

It is a gradual progress. I actually need to do this myself. It has worked in the past, but I've stayed single too often.

 

[interfacial]

My comment is that I'm in agreement with others who say this is more of a relationship problem, because it really is. Even if their are not outside problems other than your sex life, even if you don't expect orgasms, the fact is that he just is not putting in the effort. He is being lazy in an act that should be completely equal between the two of you, and he is showing nothing to deserve it.

Lasting only 15 minutes is not really a problem. I typically get bored if it lasts longer than that, honestly. I certainly don't expect anything more from my guys, but if you aren't satisfied with it, then he shouldn't be satisfied either. Especialy since sex is not just penetration. He needs to learn to do the work and learn to enjoy it, because that's what a relationship is. It's working to keep each other happy, and happily doing it because he's doing it for you.

I used to not be able to keep aroused after I had my O, and it really wasn't fair to my lovers, so I worked through it. Now, not only do my lovers benefit, I benefit more than I could have imagined. The problem is that you are so worried about pressuring him, you are letting him off the hook. If he isn't going to last longer, and he gets bored with the foreplay you are having now, work together to help him spice it up for both you and him. 25 is just too old to be excused for being a selfish lover.

While cutting off sex to force him to do something is usually a wrong tactic to emply, since this is a sexual issue, I would call this a good time to employ it. Maybe just cut off penetration and only do foreplay as your only source of sexual experience. Use it to work out what's going on.

 

[DAZZED48]

lasting longer

He,s correct if he hasnt been having sex regularly, You need to do it as often as possable. He will last longer as the "new thing" wears off.

 

[Cardinalduke]

I understand this has been discussed already, but one thing that might help is for him to learn his own body a little better. Sure, he may be a one and done type guy. But every man has a refractory period. He should be able to tell you if he needs more than about an hour or so to get it back up again. You might consider working around his schedule to accomodate YOUR needs. Once you learn his refractory period, you should be good to go.

Overall, I think, the best physiological solution will be for him to orgasm more frequently. For example, if he only has one measley orgasm every day, of course he might not last long. I wouldn't last long either if I did that!!! And if I did manage to play mind games, it would just frustrating. Make sure he has at least 3 each day for example. Some of the work will have to be done by him alone most likely, but ejaculating that much more frequently WILL have a cumulative effect.

Another thing worth noting. There is at least one milder idea to shorten the refractory period than getting viagra. L-arginine (in the alpha keta glutarate= AAKG form) works quite well as a mild pde5 inhibitor. It does enhance erectile function quite well. More bloodflow!

So even if there are other things to consider, if he wants to last longer, I feel there is pretty sure method to make that a reality.

 

[AboutFace]

This really DOES sound like a relationship problem more than just a sex problem. He doesn't seem willing to work with you to make sure that YOU are fulfilled.

That said - I've found that if I really want sex to last longer, a really good blow job does the trick.... not a quickie and not a handjob, but the idea that much more good stuff it to come. More frequently also does increase the length of time.

 

[rrod69xx]

well....

I agree and disagree with a number of the other posts, I can see there is a combination of many problems here, First age, who cares, experience not important, (explanation) Age and experience have nothing to do with his ability to stay. I agree that with the first couple it could be but doesn;t have to be the only explanation for the one pump dump.
Secondly THere are relationship problems, if your (females) going into the "experience" with apprehension of a disapointing experience, guess what, Its Gonna be. The female psyche has a huge role in the pleasure women experience during sex. (or making love)
You setting the experience up for failure before you start, this can lead nowhere healthy.
An he is a selfish lover, if hes done and thats it, nothing to help you out. Sex is an important part of an adult relationship.
So for those wondering.. I have a BS in Psychology, specialized in human sexuallity, Would have gottena masters or PhD, but saw it going nowhere for me as a profession at the time. (yes I;ve seen some pretty strange things one of my professors showed on video) could almost say some of it would be illegal (as porn)