How to nicely tell someone you've lost interest?

[Bramblethorn]

It may not be easy, but I think it's the only way it'll work for me. I just cannot be attracted to someone I'm not on friendly terms with, and it seems like jumping into dating a stranger isn't a great way to get to know them, for me. I don't know how others do it, but this experience just confirmed for me that I personally can't date someone with whom I haven't already developed some kind of friendship.

Same here. It means fewer dates, but a higher success rate for those I get, so it works out in the end

 

[yourrealhero]

There is NO WAY you can minimize any hurt feelings. I've heard enough stories about this situation to know that the best thing you can do is to say, "I'm sorry but I don't think this will work out. I enjoyed the time we had together and hope the best for you."

You'd only be wasting your time by going to more dates and not expressing what's really on your mind. It's better to say this NOW and have the other person experience a few day's worth of letdown than weeks later.

That is so well put. I think the noble thing to do is be honest with your feelings let the other person know where you stand and wish them well . I think you can be direct, honest and tactful when it is done.

 

[yourrealhero]

You have got to be straight and don't lie...

And please don't do it my text message or something. You need to actually speak to him....Even if its over the phone.

If you like him as a friend then TELL HIM THAT. But don't lead him on that there would be something he could do/change to win you back....Unless there is, of course!

It will hurt him...And you, that is not in question...The point is to lessen that hurt for you both as much as you can.

Its far better to be told the through and be honest and make someone cry than to lie to someone and make them smile.

If you keep the cheraid going it will be worse for both of you.

Some guys dont like to be retired to friendship land if that be the case ok but be kind by being honest even if it hurts.

I have been jacked around the other way and well its rotten to treat people that way. Leading them on makes the eventual news to receive that more painful because they have invested all this time into you.

 

[yourrealhero]

Just be honest. Feelings will be hurt no matter what so don't beat around the bush.

Well put. I agree.

 

[Beck31]

lost interest

I think the others have said pretty much what I would say.
Be honest and direct. Feelings will get hurt no matter how nice you are about it.

 

[tmmmbrrr]

These deals never work out any other way than the way almost everybody is saying. Be honest and respectful, but end it NOW. I was in a very similar situation. I'd been trying to get to know a girl and of course have sex with her for months -- until I finally realized that it would be a big mistake to get involved with her. When that realization finally came to me, I remember being thankful that we hadn't had sex yet...

I was a heartbeat away from moving on, when she asked me over - and I knew by the way she did it that she was finally ready for intimacy. Like you, I couldn't think of anyway to avoid it. We watched TV for awhile before she let me know she wanted me to go back to her room with her. I couldn't think of anyway not to do it. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER TO HAVE RUN OUT INTO THE NIGHT, CHANGED MY NAME AND MOVED FAAAAARRRR AWAY, but of course I didn't.

As we were walking down the hall to her room, I knew it was going to be the first night of a long, miserable struggle to get free. Not being honest with her that night cost us both years and when the final hurt finally came it was worse by far than it would have been if I'd just been straight with her.

True story.

Sorry that you're in this situation. I think you need to put an end to it now.

 

[SmlGrlDrkThghts]

Thank you for all the replies. As I posted over a week ago, however,
the situation has been resolved.

Here is the post I made with the resolution, so you don't need to dig to find it if you are curious.