How to share the bed???

[dollface007]

So, I'm sort of starting a new relationship with a great guy. He's started spending the night once or twice a week. This is the first guy in a few years that I've been with on a steady basis and I'm finding it really really hard to share my bed!! I don't get a very good night's sleep...i toss and turn much more than usual and find myself waking up more in the middle of the night. He had planned on staying over last night, but then decided that he would go home b/c he knew he wouldn't sleep well. It felt wrong for him to leave, but then again, I couldn't argue with him! I knew I would sleep better too.

This was a problem for my previous relationships as well...it's just that I was younger and could get by on bad sleep, or the relationship didn't last long enough to bother. I think the size of the bed is a problem. I have a full sized mattress and so does he. I'd love to have a king or queen, but financial and space constraints mean it's not an option.

So how do I get used to this???

I love having him there in the morning and want to work through it. Any suggestions will be welcome!

 

[zhukov1943]

Unless you're into sleeping "all tangled together", I'm afraid your bed's just too damned small!

Me and my G/F at the time used to share a TWIN back in college - but I sure as hell couldn't do THAT again!

Of course, we drank a LOT back then...

 

[SweetErika]

Unless you're into sleeping "all tangled together", I'm afraid your bed's just too damned small!

Me and my G/F at the time used to share a TWIN back in college - but I sure as hell couldn't do THAT again!

Of course, we drank a LOT back then...

Oh yeah, the extra-long twin! I don't know how we managed that either.

Dollface, is there any possibility you'll adjust with time? Can you try getting to sleep in a different position like back-to-back? When we have to sleep in a smaller bed, we sort of find a comfortable position and stick to it all night. Beyond that, start saving for a larger bed (if this relationship gets more serious, maybe he'd be willing to contribute a little to the purchase).

 

[phoenix1224]

Your problem MIGHT be the small bed... Then again... It might NOT be.

I used to have the same problem... I would sleep like a log while alone, but then have a hard time sleeping with someone else in bed with me... Tossing and turning all night long... No matter WHAT size bed that we were in.

The problem COULD be that your so used to sleeping alone that you might be having a hard time relaxing enough with someone else there to fall asleep.

I would suggest just giving it a bit more time... Once your relationship isn't so 'new' and you're both a bit more comfortable with each other, I think that you'll find that you'll sleep just fine.

 

[Vancouverite]

If its bed size then put pillows on top if the covers on 'his' side when he's not there and you're body will slowly adapt to the lessened space.
If its psychological make love until you are too knackered to do anything other than sleep.
Sleeping pills?

I guess you don't have a cat or you'd know all about bed sharing.

 

[Cathleen]

I agree with the idea of getting used to it Dollface..... what a nice problem too!

As for sharing the bed with a cat or cats - dang they just don't know how to share do they?

 

[watergirl]

Oh, I understand

I wonder how I ever managed to sleep & share the covers in college in those skinny twin beds! Wow...

These days the boyfriend & I sleep in his double bed. The bedroom really isn't quite big enough to get a bigger bed, although we'd both love to. Sometimes if I really want to sprawl out and fall asleep comfortably, he's a sweetie & after we have sex, gets up to play computer games while I fall asleep. Then he comes to bed later & just shoves me over to make room on his side. I'm a heavy sleeper so that works for me.

Good luck!

 

[SexyChele]

I know whenever I get to the point in a relationship of sleeping with another person, there is a period of adjustment. I keep waking up, can't sleep well, etc. I usually get over it with time, until I sleep almost as well as I do in my own bed.

My S/O has a queen bed, so that helps a great deal over my double! When we went to San Francisco last year, the room came with two double beds, and we both had a bitch of a time sleeping! Funny how we didn't want to sleep separately for a good night's sleep, though! A few times when we have travelled, we got a king size bed, and it's amazing how much better we both have slept. Plenty of room to spread out, and we don't wake each other up in the middle of the night to use the restroom, get a drink of water, etc.

So, I would say you might have a couple of issues to deal with - it's still "new" and the size of the bed is too small. Perhaps sleeping on the floor? (Sorry, couldn't resist!) Not sure what to say about the size of bed, but I would give it a while to get used to the idea of sharing a bed with another person.

 

[dollface007]

Thanks for all the replies so far! Hmmm...maybe I can put aside some money every month until i save up for a queen sized mattress (i can probably squeeze a queen into my room, but not a king), and by that time i might be used to sharing the bed...if we're still together.

You're right, I don't have a cat! And unlike a cat, the new beau will move out from in between my legs if i ask him to I have slept with cats on occasion...stubborn little bastards!

Please keep the suggestions coming!

 

[My Own Way]

I have the same problem Dollface. I started seeing this guy a few months ago and I had the hardest time sleeping in my own bed. It was so annoying. I found two things, first of all, it's def the bed size. He has a king and I have a double, and I had no problems sleeping in his bed. Second, I've found if I just sleep the way I'm used to sleeping, sort of sprawled out or whatever and kind of ignore the fact that he's there then I sleep so much better. So far he hasn't complained about me rubbing or cuddling up to him in my sleep...

 

[CherryPop22]

I sleep with a huge bear. I have a full size mattress and the bear takes up a little less room then I do. I have no idea what it would be like to share a bed with a man again since every night I’m all over the bear in weird positions

 

[LadyTemptress]

Look around your town for a discount mattress store for a cheaper bed. We got our king size for under $400 because it came with a mismatched boxsprings. Very firm and wonderful!

I like it when I go to bed first and fall asleep and then he comes in later. The only time we go to sleep at the sametime is if its very late and we just had sex.


Oh the memories of our twin bed in a room that only fit the twin bed I might add.

 

[Teddybear1626]

Im personally use to sleeping by myself all the time ever since i was little. I dated a guy for a while and for a weekend we got a hotel room and boy i didnt sleep at all and now that I'm in college I have been seeing a special someone in one of my classes after lunch we nap together in his TWIN bed....lets say he is the only one that sleeps I mainly lay there becuase I cant sleep with that little bed and tangled in someones arms. Its nice dont get me wrong but its not very practical! I would defiently try for a bigger bed or do the pillow thing it might work for you.

 

[Kissophile]

Dr. Kisso prescribes:

Relax, make love twice, go to sleep, and call me in the morning.


More seriously, consider asking yourself this question before you go to sleep with this new person in your life: is it better to have a small problem falling asleep right now because I have him than it would be to not have him at all?

 

[crazybbwgirl]

I sleep with a huge bear. I have a full size mattress and the bear takes up a little less room then I do. I have no idea what it would be like to share a bed with a man again since every night I’m all over the bear in weird positions

um, I was just wondering - does he hog the blankets?

 

[ApplesMcgee]

funny...

.....

 

[bitslinger]

Does your bed have any space beneath it? Get a small inexpensive matress and slide it underneath. Futon matresses are decent can be had for a good price. Pull it out as needed. You each get your space, but can still wake up and snuggle in the morning.

Another good choice is an air mattress. I found a pillow top guest air matress (with a motor to inflate it!) on sale at Bed Bath and Beyond, then took another 20% off from a coupon we got in the mail. That got me a queen size bed for guests for less than $100. I have slept on it with my wife at my side, and it's pretty nice, which is saying something given my 230lb frame. Inflates where you have space and hides away when not in use. I'm not sure about the seams holding out during a good humping, so maybe you should play on your bed and then move to the air mattress

Good luck

 

[theman69]

Another good idea could be to look into a king size AERO Matress... the inflatable ones. I know its a stupid sounding idea but for a person in your situation, an inexpensive solution would be best.

Just set it up if hes going to spend the night... set it up in the tv room or something and BAM! Instant big bed!

 

[sweetgirl666]

I have a hard time too getting used to new people sleeping close to me. After a few sleepless days it usually gets better.

I started to have more pillows and maybe an extra blanket and love king-sized beds..that for sure helps. And with some guys...it just never works out.