Humiliation Key Words

[Say_Oy]

My sub and I are looking for a #2 toy for me. One candidate stated she was a masochist into humiliation. My sub is only into positive reinforcement and my upbringing is to be generally polite. Anyway, while we waited for her to gets her STD tests (It did drag on longer than it should have - waiting for Dr. Appointment etc.) I would play with her a little. Basic gentle spanking, nipple play, face fucking while wearing a condom. I struggled with the humiliation aspect but she helped by telling me she liked being called a fat pig, bitch, slut, cunt. One day I decided to expand the short list and improvised by calling her a Tramp. Whoa! She immediately came out of her sub mode and told me flat out NOT to call her a Tramp. She could not tell me why, but it triggered something very negative in her mind.

OK, back to the "fat bitch pig" litany, but I found it fascinating that some insults turned her on but other insults brought out the real bitch. Playing with her sparked my mild interest in humiliation play. Yet I have to wonder, how many people into humiliation play have a specific vocabulary that must be used? And of course, how many accept anything? Do some words / sexual acts just totally turn you off? (Yes, I know scat is a hard limit for many. I said sexual acts ... )

 

[NancyPan]

Erotic humiliation can be very powerful, both erotically and in very negative, hurtful ways. To do it well, IMO, it requires knowing each other well and considerable trust. This, obviously, makes the practice more difficult in newer relationships. There is no substitute for open and honest communication — both before and after sexual play.

Erotic humiliation should never be mean, must always be done to enhance a partner’s arousal, which means that it pushes the right buttons. Those buttons are very personal. What works for one person will not work for another. Good for your sub for telling you that tramp is a negative trigger word for her. Give it time. Be gentle and thoughtful. Watch for signs of heightened arousal.

For me, and I believe this to be true of many or most subs, timing and tone is as important as word choice. Let your sub teacher you how to best erotically humiliate her.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

Words are like food, and elicit reactions as varied as people’s experiences. They’re mysterious. Think of foods you despise and the associations with unpleasant memories or people. So yeah, expanding the verbal menu means talking to guests beforehand.

Personally, I draw the line at being taunted for bad grammar or being called a Trump voter.

 

[OddLove]

That's really interesting. She found Tramp extremely offensive, but Fat Bitch Pig was okay.

Completely speculative. But perhaps Tramp sounds too trash to her.

I imagine most humiliation enthusiasts have a line. On one side is humiliating insults, and on the other side is rude/unsexy insults. It's obviously subjective. Some people wouldn't want to be called a Fat Bitch Pig, and would find Tramp to be a sexy and humiliating insult.

For me personally, I have no idea. But I know for sure that I wouldn't call a guy a faggot or call a woman a cunt unless we had a non-sexy blunt equal-to-equal conversation about it first.

 

[MaleProtagonist]

Yeah when I hear "I'm into humiliation play" I would assume most anything and everything is on the menu and I would actually be taken aback and rather miffed if something as innocuous as "Tramp" was a No-Go and there was negative reaction to it. That would then mean that this person hasn't really thought thru or understands fully what "humiliation" means to them, and so they should step back the from precipice a bit and back to the kiddies table more likely and get that all hashed out before going back in head first.

 

[Say_Oy]

... So yeah, expanding the verbal menu means talking to guests beforehand.

Personally, I draw the line at being taunted for bad grammar or being called a Trump voter.

No, No, No! I would never insult her by calling her a Trump voter or implying a relation with Trump. I may enjoy kinky play and with to be a "bad boy", but I am in reality a gentleman.

I think I called her a "fat pig" and "slut" about a minute before while playing bongos on her ass. She seemed happy with it. She had given me specific examples of what she liked and I had used them all that evening. I was trying to get creative because the menu was a bit short.

I did ask why that set her off and she said she did not know. Could not think of anything in her past. I made sure that slut was still ok, called her a slut, then put on a condom and stuck my dick in her mouth. So it was ok, but taught me to be careful about improvising early in a relationship.