Humiliation Key Words

[Say_Oy]

It’s fascinating when synonyms provoke different responses. I think of “tramp” and “slut” as largely meaning the same. I call my (delightfully promiscuous) sub both — but my personal favorite is “minx”, mostly because it’s such a playful word. It’s hard to say in genuine anger.

I also thought they were synonyms until I looked them up in the dictionary. Tramp has a more "worthless" connotation. I think of Minx as endearing.

One thing that am realizing is that if I use Slut or Tramp or other humiliation terms I don't use them in anger or think of them as derogatory. Instead, they seem more descriptive and maybe a bit objectifying but also an expression of the D/s relationship. The sub wants and likes being called the names and the privilege of using what are socially unacceptable/insulting terms is given to me. To me it is symbolic of the power handed over. The turn on is not from degrading someone but from their giving me the power over them and their willingness and desire to be degraded, used and objectified.

Exclusivity is another part of turn on. Others may not call her a slut, etc. but I have "the power". When I say "Slut, get that cunt on my dick." the Slut part is mostly for her though it is also a feeling of being privileged for me and demonstration that I don't have to be polite. Most of the turn on is from the fact that I will be obeyed, and the focus is on the objectified cunt moving with alacrity for my pleasure. (OK, at our age, alacrity my not be in play.) So basically, I find it hard to think of the terms as humiliating. Rather, they are an expression of the privilege given over to me and therefore cannot be truly humiliating to me, though they may feel humiliating to the bottom or to an outside observer.

 

[PoetM]

My sub and I are looking for a #2 toy for me. One candidate stated she was a masochist into humiliation. My sub is only into positive reinforcement and my upbringing is to be generally polite. Anyway, while we waited for her to gets her STD tests (It did drag on longer than it should have - waiting for Dr. Appointment etc.) I would play with her a little. Basic gentle spanking, nipple play, face fucking while wearing a condom. I struggled with the humiliation aspect but she helped by telling me she liked being called a fat pig, bitch, slut, cunt. One day I decided to expand the short list and improvised by calling her a Tramp. Whoa! She immediately came out of her sub mode and told me flat out NOT to call her a Tramp. She could not tell me why, but it triggered something very negative in her mind.

OK, back to the "fat bitch pig" litany, but I found it fascinating that some insults turned her on but other insults brought out the real bitch. Playing with her sparked my mild interest in humiliation play. Yet I have to wonder, how many people into humiliation play have a specific vocabulary that must be used? And of course, how many accept anything? Do some words / sexual acts just totally turn you off? (Yes, I know scat is a hard limit for many. I said sexual acts ... )

For me it's all about the energy. There is a very real Dom energy and sub energy the yin and yang if you will. I have lists and short erotica I've written over time that I like to share with a sub if she is interested. They are tools that enable me to think through scenarios.

I consider three types of humiliation/degradation that I tend to ask a sub about: Verbal: i.e. dirty talk, slut, whore etc, Physical: Being treated like a puppy, kitten etc and Personal: Called fat pig or other direct personal attack. I find few care for the last one but some do. In all of these classifications it's a good idea to ask about the exceptions a sub has.
Bottom line for me is I focus on what I call "Positive Kink" energy. One sub may love being called a fat pig thus that would fall into the postive energy area and another may hate it making it negative kink energy. I would have no interest in the negative kink energy because the mesh of energy (yin/yang) matter to me. That is not to say everyone does the same as some Doms do the opposite and some subs like the opposite.

To me I have different definitions on some of verbal humiliation and they have different connotation in kink vs vanilla. Also for me I explain to a sub if I'm calling her a slut, cunt etc it always has an implied "my" in front of it.