I just need to vent

[tekgirl]

I shouldn't put this here but I don't know what else to do. I need to let all this out because it is like a poison inside me and it's killing me. I've tried very hard to turn things around in my life, be more positive, more hopeful and to be a better person in general. My life right now just feels that it is falling apart at the seams and there is nothing I can but watch it happen. I'm so fearful of the future and what it holds that I can't even think straight anymore.

Have you ever wanted to pack up and just leave. Leave for some unknown destination doing whatever work you can find. Start over because the life you have drags everyone down. To leave and give the people around you a chance at peace of mind and actual happiness.

I'm in such a bad place right now in my head and I can't tell anyone. Who would understand this mess of a life I've created?

 

[bleublood]

Tekgirl:
There are many quotes that are applicable to where you are at.
It is always darkest before the dawn
When the going gets tough the tough get going
etc, etc
Sometimes we lose track of the way or the path to where we were headed.
Remember, the long journey back home starts with one step.
Envision what you want.
Keep that vision.
Visit it multiple times a day
And you will arrive.
Good luck with your journey.
Ciao

 

[dirtwrench]

Sent you a pm TG. My heart goes out to ya...

 

[Simone808619]

Life is short...and many random accidents got you here. Maybe getting away will change your perspective. Road trip! Travel...see that the world is more that the silly mistakes we make. If you don't roam far, roam near...get a tattoo! Get a dog? That what I'm doing in four weeks. I guess what I'm saying is that you have it better than most in this world( as you are clearly able to read and write And have access to a computer) you don't live in a society that enslaves you or mutilated you. You have running water and food, and all the tools you need to fix whatever you need to fix. No one is perfect and life is messy. We all make mistakes and get wrapped up in navel gazing. So if you aren't happy with something, simply change it. Maybe not all at once..but even small
Victories can renew our purpose. I say this because I too struggle with depression and regret, but I decided that although it would be nice, happiness is not going to somehow miraculously find me. I have to fake it TIL I make it. I struggle daily, but most days I win now

 

[tekgirl]

Life is short...and many random accidents got you here. Maybe getting away will change your perspective. Road trip! Travel...see that the world is more that the silly mistakes we make. If you don't roam far, roam near...get a tattoo! Get a dog? That what I'm doing in four weeks. I guess what I'm saying is that you have it better than most in this world( as you are clearly able to read and write And have access to a computer) you don't live in a society that enslaves you or mutilated you. You have running water and food, and all the tools you need to fix whatever you need to fix. No one is perfect and life is messy. We all make mistakes and get wrapped up in navel gazing. So if you aren't happy with something, simply change it. Maybe not all at once..but even small
Victories can renew our purpose. I say this because I too struggle with depression and regret, but I decided that although it would be nice, happiness is not going to somehow miraculously find me. I have to fake it TIL I make it. I struggle daily, but most days I win now

You're absolutely right. It's a first world hissy fit that I'm having. You're right. And I'm aware that I have so very much in my life to be grateful for. I'm blessed in so many ways. But right now I feel like I'm drowning.

 

[bleublood]

Simone808619 wrote:
"I have to fake it TIL I make it. I struggle daily, but most days I win now"

This is incredibly important for making things happen.
I sometimes refer to this as lying to myself until I believe it. It works!
Good luck

 

[tekgirl]

I feel so much better. Thank you to everyone. Honestly, thank you so so much!

I read an article online about what to do when you feel hopeless and one thing it said was talk to a child and ask them what they like. The article stated that children don't have concepts of hope for them everything is the here and now. I asked my daughter what she wanted to be when she grew up and she said, "A sparkle pony". It may sound silly to some but it's genius to me. I want to be a sparkle pony instead of the ugly old troll who lives under the bridge living a life of doom and gloom.

I can't thank everyone enough. You've turned my day around.

 

[seth6138]

I had a bad day once...here Is my advice. Take a large glass and fill it with ice..pour in some good vodka, let it chill a lil.

Drink said glass, bad day over in 45 minutes.

Next day be ready to take on the world. Point being its all state of mind and how you deal with the low points. I have a GOOD feeling you will be just fine.

 

[southerncharm77]

Glad you are feeling better. No matter how bad it seems. You really are only seeing a small portion. Life is what you make of it. There's always hope.

 

[juan tractor]

happy for you! sending a pm...

 

[mrxn757]

I feel so much better. Thank you to everyone. Honestly, thank you so so much!

I read an article online about what to do when you feel hopeless and one thing it said was talk to a child and ask them what they like. The article stated that children don't have concepts of hope for them everything is the here and now. I asked my daughter what she wanted to be when she grew up and she said, "A sparkle pony". It may sound silly to some but it's genius to me. I want to be a sparkle pony instead of the ugly old troll who lives under the bridge living a life of doom and gloom.

I can't thank everyone enough. You've turned my day around.

Im glad you're getting out of the gloomies.
I would say do something you loved as a child. .watch cartoons and have a bowl of cereal! !

 

[juan tractor]

Im glad you're getting out of the gloomies.
I would say do something you loved as a child. .watch cartoons and have a bowl of cereal! !

ok, i'm gonna do that now

 

[LadyVer]

Life sucks sometimes and there are times we can't do much to control it or make it better. It's really about attitude. Will I allow my life which sucks to define me? No. But it took a few fuck it moments to get to this point, after a few well-intentioned people thought they knew my life better than I did.

Humor always helps. And liking one's self, despite what life throws you, or what people say.

 

[tekgirl]

Im glad you're getting out of the gloomies.
I would say do something you loved as a child. .watch cartoons and have a bowl of cereal! !

Super Friends and fruit loops. I'm 7 years old again.

 

[tekgirl]

Life sucks sometimes and there are times we can't do much to control it or make it better. It's really about attitude. Will I allow my life which sucks to define me? No. But it took a few fuck it moments to get to this point, after a few well-intentioned people thought they knew my life better than I did.

Humor always helps. And liking one's self, despite what life throws you, or what people say.

What you said about well intentioned people is so true. Years of letting decisions be made by others for one reason or another is foolish. There just comes a time when it has to end.

Thank you.

 

[tekgirl]

I just want to thank everyone tonight who reached out to me today. You all made such a positive impact and it was incredibly heartwarming. I want to hug all of you or buy you a coke or a coffee and just let you know you made a difference in my life today.

THANK YOU!!

 

[Lone_Wanderer]

I just want to thank everyone tonight who reached out to me today. You all made such a positive impact and it was incredibly heartwarming. I want to hug all of you or buy you a coke or a coffee and just let you know you made a difference in my life today.

THANK YOU!!

Glad you're feeling better. I hope we can chat sometime soon! What are your weekend plans?

 

[bill4672]

Better

I'm only just getting here, but I'm glad you are feeling better. I have had my own down times when nothing seemed to help or matter.

 

[mrxn757]

I just want to thank everyone tonight who reached out to me today. You all made such a positive impact and it was incredibly heartwarming. I want to hug all of you or buy you a coke or a coffee and just let you know you made a difference in my life today.

THANK YOU!!

Im glad you're better. Vent anytime!!!
Coffee and cereal are on you.

 

[blue80driver]

Great to hear that your day has turned around today tek!

 

[tnh_06]

Ok, enough

Enough of the cliches and the arm chair therapists! Go find a good therapist! Find a Professional that can help you out from under this cloud. Not someone that wants to put you on anti-depressants and send you away, but someone that will listen to you and offer sound mental advice.

You are worth seeking out help, please do it before the fruit loops and super friends wear out and you find out you are still in the same place and lying to yourself. It's time to be truthful with someone that you can open up to and to yourself.

Good Luck!

 

[Simone808619]

Simone808619 wrote:
"I have to fake it TIL I make it. I struggle daily, but most days I win now"

This is incredibly important for making things happen.
I sometimes refer to this as lying to myself until I believe it. It works!
Good luck

If I lie to myself in a forest and no one is around to hear it...lol we all lie to

 

[Simone808619]

If I lie to myself in a forest and no one is around to hear it...lol we all lie to

Damn stupid button. We all lie to ourselves. Like bacteria, some lies are good and some are not. Maybe redirection would be a better choice of words rather than faking it TIL one makes it, but I am not a doc. I respect someone reaching out for help and I understand what it's like to feel helpless and indeed drowning. Just trying to give straightforward advice. Sorry if I offended tekgirl...definitely not my intention. I have said those things to myself to gain perspective of my place in the world. Maybe I'm just watching too much cosmos. Lol

 

[DesertIsland]

You may or may not have seen it, but if not, watch "Risky Business", and consider adopting the famous Tom Cruise catch-phrase: "Sometime's you just gotta say 'What the Fuck'"

He had his dad's Porsche in Lake Michigan, a killer pimp chasing him, and his house full of prostitutes, but in the end, things worked out pretty well. Granted, that was a movie, but in my life, when I find myself up to my ass in alligators, I take a deep breath, remind myself of WTF, dig in, and move on.

Good luck.

 

[dirtwrench]

Happy to see your day got better TG! Let's hope this is the only "down" day you have for a long, long time.