I prefer the "mean" Doctor!

[sweepthefloor]

I must be a perv failure. I told the nurses to go "fluff" their patients. They all laughed at me and asked me if I knew what a fluffer is.

I'm so ashamed of myself now.

 

[sweepthefloor]

He gets off on making me blush in the nurses station.
*hides*

 

[sweepthefloor]

There is a new Doctor Mean at the Perverse Hospital and he is a nephrologist. He likes to tease me: Have you been up all night writing in your secret nurse blog again? I always tease him that him writing orders for urine samples STAT is highly inappropriate.

Today, he finds me and says: I have changed the intravenous fluid orders, I want STAT urine samples, strict intake/output recording and STAT Lasix, and did you see those orders Janey?

I replied: No, I just came back from lunch.
He says: You are a nurse, the new policy is: No lunching and no stopping to relieve urine in the bathroom.
I replied: Who are you? Mr. Discipline?
He says: This is the new policy, and those intravenous fluids better be up by the time I walk down the hall again.
I replied: I am going to call you every morning at 0700 with abnormal labs on your dialysis patients.
He says: And you will be administering STAT fleets enemas to all my patients.
I replied: No, I won’t because fleets enemas are contraindicated in renal patients.
He says: You are right; I will order soapsuds enemas then.

What?

 

[sweepthefloor]

Janey the phone is for you, it is Dr Mean.

Janey: Hello, PCU South, this is Nurse Janey, can I help you?

Dr Mean: Janey, I know your voice; you don’t have to identify it.

Janey: (being brave) You like my voice?

Dr Mean: Your voice is unique. How is my patient?

Janey: The same as this morning. Hemodynamics are still stable. I have weaned off the biPAP to a Venti-Mask, is that ok?

Dr Mean: That is good.

Janey: Ok

<silence>

Janey: Anything else?

Dr Mean: That’s it.